Chronal Disassociation - A Chaldean Christmas (Patreon)

The air was far warmer than any other Christmas Lena had experienced. She would be surprised if it wasn’t, considering she was on Gibraltar. She, alongside the entirety of Overwatch - or who came back at least.

It had been a couple of months since Winston initiated the Recall. More people than she expected had answered, even some old faces that were…unexpected to say the least. If by ‘unexpected’ she meant ‘thought they were dead because of a massive explosion’.

With Null Sector and Talon still operating at their peak though, even the return of Commander Morrison and Captain Amari was not enough. 

Enter, a group of faces that she really hadn’t expected.

“Song, can you go and call the others? Kamori, Santos, go and prepare the table, will you?” Archer, cooking their Christmas dinner, called from the makeshift kitchen.

“Sure thing, Archer-oppa. So anyway, chat…”

“I’ll handle the plates if you handle the glasses.”

“...Where’re the glasses again?”

Hana Song, Kiriko Kamari, and Lúcio Correia dos Santos. Three people who’d joined Overwatch after hearing about the Recall, though in Lúcio’s case, after Overwatch had helped him out in Rio. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that Lena was shocked that they joined, when considering what they usually did.

Hana, a game streamer. Kiriko, a shrine maiden. Lúcio, a music artist.

Though, when she found out the other parts of their lives, Lena could safely say that yeah, this wasn’t entirely the weirdest bunch she’d found herself with.

Hana, the military mech pilot. Kiriko, the vigilante with a fox spirit. Lúcio, the freedom fighter who blasts sound at people.

It was, without a doubt, still less weird than Archer’s stories.

Throughout the months they had fought Null Sector and Talon, the new Overwatch had gathered quite a bit of a following. So much so that, despite the fact that they were still considered in breach of international law, and the very real livestream that Hana was still doing, no government agency had come for them.

Now though, with a lull in the fighting with Null Sector, they could afford to finally relax. They hadn’t had time since they were dragged from major city to major city almost every other week to put out fire after fire.

That even Null Sector had decided for a Christmas break felt just a bit too good, but damn her if she wasn’t going to take it.

“So, what do you think Archer’s cooking?” Lena was lying on the couch, Emily with her as they lazed about. Lena shrugged in response.

“I ‘unno. Still, wish he’d hurry up already, I’m bloody starving.”

Before Emily could chastise her, Winston and Echo came bounding in the room, with Hana and her phone trained on the scientist as he spoke, “...non-ballistic projectiles, which is weird when you think about it. So, the best solution was just to make it absorb kinetic energy rather than the projectiles themselves, but that would leave the-”

“No talking shop at the table.” Archer called out from the kitchen, to which the scientist sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. Winston was wearing a large red and green sweater, and even had a fake beard haphazardly hanging from the side of his chin.

The small visor being projected on Hana’s side immediately lit up with a flurry of messages. Lena was familiar enough with the girl's stream that she knew it was just more emoji spam.

“Where's Cassidy?” Archer frowned as he spoke to Hana, though it was Echo that answered with a strained smile on her faceplate.

“Cassidy decided to go on a smoke break…again.” Echo had changed her own colours to be more in line with the season. Kiriko and Hana had taken it upon themselves to dress her up even more, and Echo had taken it in good spirits.

The AI was now sporting a festive outfit, almost resembling a porcelain doll, complete with a brunette wig. Last Lena checked, people were going ham when Hana had posted the picture on social media.

“Of course.” The red-clad Spirit rolled his eyes, “Let him be then. Better that tobacco smoke air out out there than here.”

“Yo Archer! You know where the glasses are?” Lúcio skated around the room, waving his hand to get attention, “Kiriko keeps saying that they're down here, but I must be blind cause I ain't seeing anything.” The musician gestured to an open cabinet, down on the floor, and indeed, there were no glasses to be seen.

“That's because I moved them after you kept bumping into them. Check the top shelf.”

“Ahaha…”

“Other top shelf. And take off those roller skates.”

“Got it, boss!”

Emily snorted, causing Lena to let out a small laugh herself. Just a year ago, she hadn't imagined that such a scene would happen. That Overwatch would be back in any capacity.

“I've got the booze!” Of course, Reinhardt came barreling through the door with the largest grin on his face. Angela, Genji and Zenyatta followed after him, the medic immediately palming her face.

“Really living up to the German stereotype there, Reinhardt.” Genji spoke with an amused lilt in his synthetic voice. The crusader didn't bother to reply, only laughing out as he grabbed a bottle and popped it open.

It was moments like these that made Lena’s decision to join Overwatch worth it. That, despite the hardships and difficulties, and being branded as a wanted fugitive, she didn't regret a single moment of it.

Life, however, had other plans.

“ALERT: UNKNOWN AIRCRAFT HAS ENTERED WATCHPOINT AIRSPACE.”

The happy atmosphere shifted to one of alarm as Athena, Winston's AI, blared an alert right at them. The team started preparing immediately. Thankfully, all of them were more or less always prepared, as they still hadn't been certain that Talon wouldn't try anything as they had with Winston.

“Athena, fire up the anti-air defenses, but hold off from firing.” Winston commanded, eyebrows furrowing in concentration as he made his way to the main console, “Someone go get-”

“ALERT:  PROJECTED AIRCRAFT TRAJECTORY TOO LOW - IMPACT ON WATCHPOINT BASE OF OPERATIONS LIKELY. IMPACT IMMINENT.”

“Oh fuck.” Hana reacted almost immediately, rushing to the corner of the room where her MEKA unit was recharging. Archer had dropped what he was doing and was hastily creating a shield, with everyone else diving for cover. Or, in Lena’s case, covering Emily with her body.

Just in time too, as the ceiling above them cratered from whatever it was that just hit the base.

Dust and rubble were thrown up, coughing and wheezing from just about everyone. The surroundings made Lena’s eyes water, squinting to try and see through the cloud. No use.

“Em, you alright?” She instead asked the woman in her arms. The redhead was in the midst of coughing up a storm, though it looked like that was the worst of it as Emily nodded in response.

That didn't assuage her worries though.

“Oxton, be careful. I sense another Heroic Spirit.” 

Lena's eyes widened a fraction as Archer warned her. Had Talon actually done it? They already knew about Archer, so it wasn't a leap of logic that they'd figure out how to summon someone like him. That they'd send that Heroic Spirit after Overwatch was just par for the course.

Who-

“EEEEEEEMMMMIIIIYYAAAAAAAAAAA!”

A loud voice that came from the impact site shook all of them. A figure launched themselves from the area, beelining for Archer. And where Lena expected the white haired man to attack whoever it was, all he did was stare blankly as the figure made it all the way to him.

Said figure then proceeded to hug his legs and wail incoherently.

“You have to help me, Emiya! I can't take it anymore! That damned she-devil is working me to the bone and won't take no for an answer! I have worker’s rights dammit!” The girl, because whoever was talking was somehow even shorter than Hana, wore what looked to be a sort of military uniform. Fatigues in red and black, a pattern that Lena wasn't familiar with.

Archer definitely was, as the aura of confrontation disappeared almost entirely, being replaced by what Lena caught as a mix of enlightenment and resignation.

“Nobunaga…” At the very least, he knew who this person was.

“PLEASE! I'll even clean your boots again!”

“The last time you did that you made them into bombs!”

“Well, they can't get dirty if they don't exist, can they?!”

“Oi, Nobu, where are you?” Just as the two of them were getting into a heated argument (About bomb-boots? What?) another woman came through the hole that had been made. She wore a Santa outfit, of all things, decorated with golden embroidery. A frog charm on a chain was hung loosely on her waist. A small hat was delicately placed on her head, capping a long mane of dark hair that was almost as tall as her.

Oh, and she floated. Literally. She was hovering a good few meters above the ground with no visible method of doing so.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“Oroyu? I'm guessing Sakamoto is nearby as well then.” Archer was much less panicked than the shorter girl, who immediately tried to hide behind the white haired man.

“Oh, Emiya. Didn't expect to see you here.” Again, another person popped up, this one being a man wearing a dark green suit. Lena spotted Archer grimace as he looked at the newcomer. The other man winced and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Trust me, I know what it looks like, but Oryou insisted so…”

“Literally any other shade of green would have worked.” Archer deadpanned.

“Eh, the wife wants what the wife wants.”

“Hey, who're these guys anyway? Oryou doesn't recognize any of them.” The floating woman came close to Lena. Way too close. The pilot had to lean back as the dark-haired woman was suddenly only an inch away from her face, squinting.

“Bloody-!” 

“Who the hell are you?” This time, the one that interrupted them was one of their own. Soldier: 76, Jack Morrison, came barging in the the front door, rifle pointed directly at the intruders, “You better have a damn good reason-”

“Santa Oryou doesn't need a reason to be Santa Oryou.” 

“...So it's her turn this year?” Archer didn't even flinch, aiming a glance towards the green suited man.

“Yeah…”

“My condolences.” 

Morrison was still aiming the rifle at the floating woman, who looked unperturbed. It was this stalemate that allowed Lena to finally get a good look around the room. Winston was already up and talking quietly to Athena, a nervous look on his face. Angela was checking on the conditions of everyone else, staff at the ready. Hana was in her mech, and was still apparently streaming for some reason. The rest were in varying states of alert and confused, but we're still brandishing their weapons subtly.

Archer broke the standoff with a clap.

“Alright, introductions are in order. Oryou, Sakamoto, meet Overwatch. I've been working with them for some time now. Everyone else, meet Oryou and Ryouma Sakamoto, two of my former co-workers. You're all grown men and women here, so I'll let you all acquaint yourselves if you want.” With his piece said, Archer nonchalantly went back to the small kitchen, acting as if nothing had happened.

“Huh.” Ryouma rubbed his head, “Well, Emiya seems to be a lot more relaxed than usual.”

“Oryou thinks he finally got that stick out of his ass.” Oryou nodded almost sagely. Ryouma laughed out loud as she did so.

None of this was making sense and it was making Lena's head hurt.

“Okay, time out. What the hell is going on?” 

“””It’s Christmas.”” Three voices in chorus. One blank, one resigned, and one that implied she was an idiot for asking.

“That doesn't explain anything!” The pilot threw up her hands in frustration. Ryouma looked at her with a pitying smile. 

“That's because this is a Chaldean Christmas. At least it's just Oryou this time around.”

“Santa Oryou will make sure all the good boys and girls get their Christmas frogs!” Oryou shook her fist in the air with a grin on her face. She stopped just a moment after though, before exclaiming, “Oh, Oryou almost forgot!”

The woman flew out of the rubble, and before anyone could even blink, she was back. With her, she carried a…sleigh? It looked like a sleigh, if one could imagine a steampunk sleigh in the first place.

Nevermind that she was lifting the entire thing by herself. Lena doubted even Zarya could carry it, much less someone with Oryou's physique.

Archer raised an eyebrow, “Babbage’s work?”

“Oryou’s toymaster did good work with Oryou’s sleigh.” The pale woman nodded. She then proceeded to grab a massive bag from the back of the sleigh, hefting it without trouble, and bounding over to the strike team.

Morrison was instantly on her again. He had been rendered silent by the nonsense going on, but with Oryou’s invasion of his space, he had snapped back to attention.

Oryou ignored him, making her way over to Kiriko.

“You smell like that fox-wife. Oryou doesn't really like her, but you don't stink as much.” 

Kiriko blinked as she glanced to her sides, completely confused, “Thanks, I guess?”

Yep, she was definitely torn between being offended or just plain confused.

Oryou nodded, before reaching into the bag and rummaging through it. From it, she pulled out what looked to be a frog carved out of silver, and beckoned Kiriko over, “Here. Santa Oryou’s present for a good girl.”

Kiriko could only open her mouth dumbfoundedly as Oryou placed the silver frog in her hands. Judging from how the lithe girl buckled as Oryou released it, it was likely solid silver. 

“Hmmm. Music guys usually like listening to other music guys, right? Here, Oryou got this from one of the angry music guys.” The floating woman reached back in the sack, before pulling out a violin lined with intricate facades. Black with red highlights, even with Lena’s lack of expertise in musical instruments, she could tell the thing was very well made, regardless of how out of place in any setting it would be.

Before Lúcio could react, the violin dropped into his hands, “Uhhh, I don’t play-”

“I’d recommend you keep your mouth shut.” Archer called out, “If that’s from who I think it is, then that single violin is worth a lot of money.”

Lúcio wisely kept his mouth shut.

The same scene unfolded as Oryou gave out a number of…questionable presents. Some were weird. Echo received a bunch of blue cubes that the AI had found itself absolutely enamored with. Hana got a VR headset that looked to be out of date by several decades, but a quick look at the girl’s face would have made one think she had struck gold with it.

Some were like Lúcio’s - expensive according to Archer. Genji got a sword with an intricate scabbard, and once Archer explained that it was from someone named Mune-something, the cyborg had started to stare at the sword in barely hidden disbelief, which was even more impressive when you took into account how difficult it was to read the man through his cybernetics. At some point, they had been joined by Sombra and Cassidy, neither of whom got a word out before they were immediately handed a small tablet and a hat respectively.

Both of the two were quickly informed that the tablet was Chaldean property, and that the hat belonged to some famous outlaw who lived back in the 1800’s.

Angela on the other hand got a bloody Spear. With a capital S too, cause Lena was certain that the medic was smaller than the head of the damn thing. Weighed as much as it looked too, since Angela practically fell over as Oryou let go of the shaft.

The others all got some variation of ‘frog’. For example, Winston got an entire bucket full of (still alive) frogs that were all croaking contentedly together. On the other hand, Morrison got a single frog, this one very clearly made of coal. Not that the older man cared for it though, tossing it off to the side.

Finally, it came down to Lena and Emily. Emily received a crown thing? Lena could approximate that it looked like the hat that the Pope wore, but longer. For Lena herself though? She got a gun.

Now, her time with the RAF made her more than a little familiar with weapons, but this one was by far the most archaic one she had ever seen. A pistol with an overly large barrel, wooden(!) grip. With its profile, it was clearly a break action pistol, and one that should pack a pretty mean punch, even if it was clear it was meant to use traditional gunpowder than the more widely used pulse ammo.

She turned to Archer, eager to figure out just what it was she and her wife had gotten, only to find the man already looking at them with a constipated look on his face. Archer turned to the floating Oryou, leveling her with a disapproving frown.

“Really?”

“Oryou thinks she smells like the other Emiya. Other girl is also her wife, right? Oryou thinks the gifts are appropriate.” 

Archer breathed in once, then exhaled, bringing his fingers up to rub the bridge of his nose, “Fine, it’s not like arguing is going to change things.”

“Sorry about that.” Ryouma coughed awkwardly, “You know how she gets. Anyway, we’ll just be going now, now that every-”

“Oi.” Oryou suddenly lengthened. As in, her entire body stretched out like one of those superheroes in comics back in the day, reaching out and grabbing Nobunaga by the shoulder. Lena had almost completely forgotten about her, and likely would have had Oryou not done that, “Where does Oryou’s reindeer think they’re going?”

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!” Somewhat similar to Archer’s abilities to make weapons out of thin air, Nobunaga summoned a bunch of guns - well over two dozen - pointing straight at Oryou. Which was bad since everyone else was behind the other woman. Instinct blared out as Lena shoved Emily back onto the ground, just as the rest of Overwatch did the same.

Except for Archer and Ryouma, who both looked quite relaxed, especially the green-clad man who looked more sympathetic than worried.

It was rapidly apparent why.

Oryou’s body slinked into the floor, reminiscent of ink. A massive wave of the dark liquid sprouted upward, higher and higher until it nearly reached the ceiling of the room.

The darkness blinked.

What stood before them, a woman just moments previously, was now an honest to goodness dragon. Serpentine scales melted onto its body, just as it stared down imperiously on Nobunaga. Lena had seen a dragon before, the spirit dragon that Genji’s family had. But it paled in comparison to the sheer majesty of seeing one in the flesh like this.

Nobunaga didn’t seem to care.

A rapport of gunshots. The guns that Nobunaga summoned had formed a firing line, firing without care. The burst of smoke, the smell of gunpowder, those would have been intimidating even with Lena’s experience.

Had the dragon not shrugged it all off.

The dragon then proceeded to pick up Nobunaga by the scruff of her clothes, the smaller woman gawking in protest, “PUT ME DOWN!”

“No.” Surprisingly, the voice that rumbled out of the dragon wasn’t gravelly at all. In fact, it sounded just like Oryou, and went at odds with its intimidating look. Nobunaga didn’t seem to think so, as she started to thrash around in futility.

Oryou, if it really was her and Lena wasn’t completely high thinking the woman had turned into a bloody dragon, wasn’t having any of it. Her hair (why would a dragon have hair?) folded outwards, wrapping around Nobunaga and lifting her up to the sleigh. She was then strapped onto the bottom of said sleigh, protests being muffled.

“Don’t tell me…” Archer turned to Ryouma, who was whistling innocently in the background.

“Yeah…we kinda broke the steam propulsions that Babbage attached, so…”

“NOOOOOOOOO! I DON’T WANT TO BE A ROCKET ENGINE!”

“Okay, if I had known that was what she meant, I may have been more inclined to help.” Regardless of what he was saying, Archer didn’t move to help her. He caught Lena’s eye and scoffed, “How about you get in the way of a dragon, why don’t you?”

“Seesh, you don’t have to be a bloody prat about it.” Lena rolled her eyes, though she was the only one. Everyone else was focused on the dragon manhandling - or was it dragonhandling? - Nobunaga onto the sleigh. Maybe she was more or less desensitized to all of the insanity that was Archer.

Or maybe she was just deluding herself.

Either way, it was only a minute later that Nobunaga was completely strapped onto the bottom of the sleigh, with Oryou’s hair tying her down.

“Alright Ryouma, Oryou’s reindeer is all set.” Oryou’s body once more morphed, compressing back into the Santa outfit-clad woman, floating right next to Ryouma and Archer, “It was good meeting you again, Emiya. Oryou still thinks the others can’t cook as good as you.”

“I’m sure that the cat would beg to differ.” Archer chuckled, “But I appreciate the gesture. Here, take this.” Throughout the entire time they had been here, Archer had been quietly preparing a basket of food. Lena had thought that he was just preparing for Christmas dinner, but apparently, he was doing it to give it over to his old co-workers, “...Say hi to Fujimaru and the others for me, will you?”

“Ha!” Ryouma grinned even as he took the basket in hand, “Always knew you were a big softie in the end! But yeah, no problem.”

…Where had Lena heard that name from before? She was sure Archer had mentioned it at one point in the past, but for the life of her, she-

Ah.

“Thank you.” Archer rolled his eyes good-naturedly, watching alongside the others as Nobunaga…was set on fire.

“GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-”

“Santa Oryou wishes all of you a merry Christmas!” Oryou completely ignored the screaming underneath her as she waved, Ryouma doing his best to do the same. With their piece said, the sleigh flew out of the base, back into the night sky.

And with that piece of insanity gone, everyone else was snapped out of their stupor. Morrison immediately rounded on Archer, demanding answers. The others followed suit, questions about their presents, about how the sleigh worked, just who the hell those were. The Spirit didn’t so much as flinch, though he looked to be quite annoyed as he was harried by everyone and anyone.

Clapping once, Archer finally got everyone to quiet down for a moment, “I’ll answer your questions later. For now, it’s Christmas, so damn well calm down and eat.”

There was a bit more grumbling after that, but none of them could argue against the one man that did have answers. In the end,everyone settled down and started eating their admittedly delicious meal. Off to the side, sat Lena and Emily, joined by Archer on Lena’s other side.

Emily herself was enjoying the food as well, though she was still curiously inspecting the hat that Oryou had given her, much like how Lena was doing the same for the gun. But the gun could wait for now - she could always look up the exact model in her free time. What she wanted was an answer that she hoped Archer would give.

‘Those guys were from Chaldea, right? You could’ve gone back if you wanted, you know?”

Lena didn’t question how they were here. Archer had long since explained that time travel was something that Chaldea used quite often. Nevermind that Lena experienced time travel on a daily basis.

Archer sent the mental equivalent of a shrug, “I could have, but I didn’t.”

‘Why?’

“You really think so little of me that you’d think I’d leave, just like that?”

‘I mean, it’s kinda obvious that you miss those guys. If I were in your shoes, I might’ve just gone and done it.’

“...Maybe if it were the me from a few years ago, before Chaldea meant more than just a place to work, I would have prioritized joining back with them for the sole sake of practicality. They’re more than capable of supporting a Servant without all the caveats you have, and they arguably have a more important role in protecting the world.”

‘And now?’

“What can I say? You’ve all grown on me. Kind of like barnacles, really.”

‘Awwww! Is wittle Archer saying he’ll miss us too? That is so cute!’

“Sure, sure. I’ll let that comment slide for today. It’s Christmas, after all.”

‘...For real though, thanks, Archer. For sticking by us.’

“Any time, Oxton. Any time.”

It was a good Christmas.

…

A/N: And that’s the holiday special for Chronal Disassociation. One could consider this canon in the future, but I’d consider this more of a non-canon omake. I just want to say that I appreciate every single one of you. I don’t think I would have continued writing as much as I do today without your support. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything.

 For some background, this chapter was in the making about two months ago, when I had a shower thought on ‘What if Oryou was the Santa Servant this year?’ Since then, I wanted to integrate that idea onto Chronal Disassociation, and this is the result. I can say that I am quite happy with how it turned out, in the end.

Once more, for everyone reading this today, tomorrow, or in the far flung future, thank you.

…

‘By the way, Oryou’s a dragon that can fly, right? Why did she even need the sleigh in the first place?’

“Don’t think about it.”

…