Somehow, Living Life in Another World is Wrong, as I Expected Ch. 13.3 (Patreon)

Irony. Life has screwed with me so much that I barely feel the sting of irony anymore. But what is irony, in the first place? I’ll tell you by example: me.

I spent my entire high school life trying to be invisible. I perfected the art of blending into the background. I was the guy you forgot was in the room. I wanted to be a corporate drone at best, or a stay-at-home husband at worst. Just a quiet, pathetic little life where nobody expected anything from me.

Sure, I imagined a better life for myself, for however much 'better' meant in my world. That I'd somehow magically get transported my Truck-kun into another world, where I'd live like a king among paupers. However, that started and ended there. I wasn't stupid enough to think I would be actually successful if any of that happened.

And it wouldn't happen. Isekai is just fiction.

Authors write fiction because they are often disappointed with reality. The rules of physics, societal norms, the monotony of modern life, any single one of those could be cause to escape to a decently built fictional world. Except, even then, modernity sneaks its way into these worlds regardless.

Corruption. Greed. Politics. Feeling like you don’t belong.

Any one of these is always present in an isekai story. And the reason for doing so is actually the point of an isekai right there; in order to feel immersed into the world, you have to have something familiar. And that familiarity is usually the most negative aspects that my world has to offer.

Ironic, that the portions of life that drove people to write and read isekai, are what keep people entertained in those same stories.

In that same vein, the very system that debased monarchy in my world, would be the system that saved Lugunica’s.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that there have existed entire cliques that the nobles of Earth had once clung to. Technically speaking, Japan had been unified under the Emperor since before the common era, and yet, regional wars for power still existed. Everyone wanted more, and no one could agree which one of them should be absorbed.

The same could be said about the current state of the Royal Selection.

And so, in-fighting. In-fighting that could further destabilize an entire country, when things were finally starting to look up for once. Karsten didn’t want that because she’s loyal to her country. I didn’t want that because I hated being dragged into politics.

To avoid that, however, I needed to be involved in said politics. Not because I had political clout. I basically had none whatsoever, barring my personal connection to several important people in the country. That was sarcasm, if you didn’t catch that.

Of course I had some political clout. I wasn’t blind to it. No matter how much I despised politics, no matter how much I didn’t want to be involved, the situation of Lugunica was so damn fragile that I felt I had no choice but to keep at least some involvement.

If only because I needed some leeway to pack up and leave the country before shit hit the proverbial fan.

Unfortunately, the path of a gray eminence, an eminence in the shadows so to speak, has been shut down for me, now that my involvement has become a ticking time bomb for the public. There’s no way that every single person that was here would shut their damn mouths for once.

Can you see it now? The sheer irony of my life? The one person that just wants to go quietly find a way back home has been thrust into the limelight after the isekai protagonist decided to drag him into a pile of shit.

Give me back my peace, dammit!

…

It was actually fairly simple to get Natsuki and Emilia to agree to an alliance. Credit where credit’s due, the elf realized that she was way in over her head and had almost immediately folded. Natsuki was quiet at the time, likely finally understanding what he had inadvertently done. Without Mathers in the picture, she was no longer beholden to anyone, even if on paper, he was still funding her campaign.

Speaking of Mathers, what Emilia didn’t take well was the margrave’s actions. If the clown wasn’t being protected by the pink-haired maid, there’s a decent chance that the elf would have smacked the shit out of him.

Not gonna lie, I would have paid good money for that.

Instead, she glared at him, before taking Natsuki and going in the direction where the Archbishop was. Karsten and I followed, more out of a shared paranoia about Romanée-Conti, despite his contributions to the fight.

What both of us didn’t expect was for Emilia to say, “Guese, I remember.”

Nor did we expect Romanée-Conti to collapse as he cried and hugged Emilia.

First off, gross. She may be an elf, but I can’t imagine doing that to someone whose mental age is closer to fifteen than the hundred years she actually was.

Second off, Natsuki looks like he’s constipated and it’s lowkey funny as fuck.

Anyway, long story short, the Great Spirit of Fire that was Puck blocked her memories of what happened in Elior Forest to prevent any emotional trauma from surfacing. This included the fact that, apparently, Romanée-Conti and another woman named Fortuna, took care of her when she was a child, up until the radicals of the Witch Cult decided to attack.

Those same memories were released due to the trials that Echidna had put her through. Which was confirmation that the half-elf had indeed met the Witch. 

I feel like it’s missing something. In particular, how this Fortuna died, but Romanée-Conti lived. The guilt in the Archbishop’s eyes was real though, and against my reservations, I believed that he really did blame himself.

Karsten and I didn’t pry. As much as Emilia was being forthcoming, some secrets - particularly the personal ones - didn’t deserve to be aired out. That didn’t stop me from thinking about the possible scenarios. 

Still, it’s quite unsettling just how easygoing she was being when Natsuki had ranted about how insane Romanée-Conti supposedly was. 

The green-haired man finally pulled away from the half-elf. He wiped his eyes with a dirt-stained sleeve, taking a shaky breath.

"I cannot stay with you, Emilia-sama." Romanée-Conti said. His voice was rough, but completely coherent, "As much as I would want to deny it, I am still an Archbishop of the Cult. Should word come out of your association with me..." He trailed off, the implications left unsaid.

Why the fuck is the Archbishop the reasonable one in the room? Or forest clearing, if you want to be technical.

Natsuki finally found his voice, "Wait, you're just going to leave? After everything?"

What? I thought you'd be happier to see the guy fuck off and die? Seriously, Natsuki? A bad guy helps you out once, and suddenly they get a redemption arc and join the party. 

I stepped forward before Natsuki could say anything worse. My boots crunched heavily in the slush. The adrenaline was completely gone now, and my wet clothes were starting to freeze to my skin in the biting wind.

"He's leaving because he actually understands politics." I said, keeping my voice flat, "He's a walking death sentence for this coalition. The second the capital finds out an Archbishop is hanging around you, the knights will burn us all." 

Argyle would probably cast the first stone.

Romanée-Conti nodded. The crushing guilt was still obvious in his eyes, but he was completely grounded, "Hikigaya speaks the truth. I cannot stand in the light with you, Emilia-sama."

Karsten stepped up next to me. She stood completely rigid, totally ignoring the freezing cold, "Hikigaya-kun is entirely correct. Emilia-san, your personal history with him does not erase his crimes in the eyes of the kingdom. He must vanish."

Honestly, I could see Karsten actively trying to hold herself back from arresting the Archbishop again. If Romanée-Conti did decide to stay, I had no doubt that she would have him back in chains faster than I could blink. Right now, because of everything we had gleaned from him, Karsten was giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Emilia bit her lip. She looked between Guese and the rest of us. For a second, I thought she was going to argue. But she didn't. She just nodded slowly.

“At least…at least stay a while? I have soooo much to tell you about.” A phantom image, a younger girl. Dark hair instead of white. Shorter, but the eyes that were quietly ready to cry were the same.

I had to look away. How she said it…it reminded me too much of my own sister. Back when she was hiding how lonely she was when she came back to an empty home. I hadn’t paid much attention to her back then, thinking nothing of what she was saying due to my own age.

They were the words of one that was desperate to spend more time with someone that cared. Family. A brother…or a parent.

I shoved my hands deeper into my pockets. The freezing wind bit right through my coat. It took real effort to keep my face completely blank. Back in Chiba, I probably would have caved. I would have let the sentiment win. But this wasn't Chiba. This was Lugunica, and playing house with known terrorists got people killed.

Romanée-Conti just offered a sad, broken smile, "Another time, Emilia-sama. When the world is kinder."

He didn't wait for her to start crying. He just turned and vanished into the dark, snow-covered trees. He might be a Cultist, but today, he was the only one thinking clearly. More than likely, the other Fingers back in the manor would be gone by the time we get back.

Natsuki finally shut up and stepped closer to comfort Emilia. I turned my back on them. We had bigger problems to deal with. I looked across the clearing.Rom was busy acting as a living wall, herding the shivering Arlam villagers toward the surviving carriages. Felt and Tinsel - I finally got around to asking his actual name - were having a conversation in the background.

Hmm. Need to keep an eye out on that.

Then there was Mathers. Ram and Rem were basically holding up his dead weight. He looked like a discarded, waterlogged puppet. His vibrant makeup was smeared across his pale face, and his heterochromatic eyes were completely hollow.

Karsten walked up beside me, whispering, “Thank you for joining me, Hachiman. I promise you-”

“Don’t make it weird.” I scratched my cheek as I clicked my tongue, “If I didn’t, who knows what Mathers could’ve done.”

“True.” Karsten chuckled, “Though speaking of the…Court Mage, I would like to propose to you a plan, if you would hear me out.”

I feel like I won’t like it, but then again, it’s probably still better to hear her out. I gave a small nod that Karsten returned with a smile.

“As you know, Mathers’ title of Court Mage is predicated on his magical prowess, and subsequent acquisitions of the titles of Red, Green and Yellow.” I nodded. That was commonplace info. In the kingdom, the strongest mage of each element was given a corresponding colour title. Argyle held the title of Blue for his water magic, while Mathers held the titles for fire, wind and earth magics respectively.

Little wonder that Karsten was already looking for a solution for his eventual deposition.

“Can’t get rid of him that easily, nor any of his official titles.” I hummed in response. Yes, that too was an issue. Did you ever wonder why Emilia was even considered in the running in the first place? Mathers was just that prominent. His singular support allowed Emilia to be on the same political standing as a duchess, a princess of a foreign nation, and an industrial empire.

He was no joke.

“Indeed.” Karsten sighed, but her smile came back with a ferocity I hadn’t seen in a while, “Which is why we need to stack the deck in our favor.”

I stared at her. The freezing wind whipped between us, but she didn't even blink. I knew exactly where she was going with this, and I hated it instantly.

"No," I said flatly, "Absolutely not."

She didn't lose the smile, "I haven't even proposed it yet, Hachiman."

"You don't need to. I can see the gears turning in your head. Mathers holds Red, Green, and Yellow. Argyle holds Blue. That leaves White and Black." I shoved my frozen hands deeper into my pockets, "I'm not exactly a healer, and my yang magic is barely a factor, so you want to nominate me for Black." I levelled an accusation with as much distain as I could muster.

Karsten nodded, "The Great Spirit of Yin practically sang your praises. And with our collective achievements, almost all of which would not have been possible without you, the Council will easily believe you are the strongest yin mage in Lugunica."

"It's a complete scam." I argued, "I don't even have a massive mana pool. I just manipulate spatial coordinates. Beatrice did all the heavy lifting with the Rabbit."

"Perception is reality in politics." Karsten replied easily, "If the public believes you have that power, then you do. We need a counterbalance to Mathers. We are going to strip him of his soft power and eventually depose him. If we absorb Emilia's camp into our coalition, having the Black on our side gives us the political gravity to keep the public from panicking."

I wanted to argue. I really did. But her logic was bulletproof. It was the basic concept of nuclear deterrence from back home. You don't actually have to drop a nuke. You just need everyone else at the table to know you have the launch codes.

Mathers was a walking weapon of mass destruction. If we were going to neuter him without starting a civil war, we needed a weapon of our own to point back at the Council.

If I took the title, I'd get a massive target painted on my back. Fame. The exact thing I spent my whole life avoiding. But if I didn't take it, our new coalition wouldn't have the leverage to actually protect Felt, Rom, and the rest of the people we just saved.

I let out a long breath. It plumed into white vapor in the freezing air. My headache throbbed.

"Fine." I grunted, too tired to fight it anymore, "But I'm demanding a ridiculous salary. If I'm selling out to the government, I'm getting paid for it."

Karsten's smile softened into something genuine, "I will make sure the paperwork reflects your worth."

"Yeah, whatever."

My quiet, pathetic little life was officially dead and buried under the snow.

And it only took becoming a goddamn edgelord. Fuck!

...