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i feel guilty that i haven't uploaded here much. i know you guys understand. you're here voluntarily. i love you and appreciate you.

this past month has probably been the hardest month of my life. i've barely drawn. i feel too raw to give details but rest assured that while it's hard, i'm healing, growing, accepting things. to put it shortly and uncharitably to myself [because it's so much more complex than i care to share online]; it's the breakup i went through, moving house alone for the first time, living alone for the first time, my career changing, new relationship challenges, fear, anxiety, grief, solitude. everything, and i mean literally everything in my life was upended. i'm so glad i still have a few things to cling onto; my ability to draw/do freelance, my cat, my possessions, my health. i've had to come to terms with the fact that all the projects that i was doing or starting a few months ago feel like they were started by another person. my art, as my main form of expression, had been put by the wayside while i got by and looked after myself, and now i'm rediscovering it, i don't know what i want to draw right now. my art was so wrapped in my identity, and right now i'm having to build everything--including my identity--from the ground up. give it a few weeks and i might be back to drawing horny comics, lol.

silver linings; i'm sat in my new little office, in the countryside, so close to a forest that i'm practically in it (the spiders here SUCK), with birds chirping outside. there's sunlight coming in past the old black bedsheet that i've hung in place of a curtain for now. it's allowing me to work without glare on my screen. i uploaded above what i'm working on today.

i don't know that i have it in me to finish anything personal right now. i've got a few WIPs that i can post, i hope you guys don't mind seeing unfinished things. i might have some old things that i never posted. i know that it's going to be a while before i'm back into the swing of things, working on my projects again. normality and security feel like very distant concepts, but i'll get there.

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Comments

Madland Dreamer Workshop

Keep kicking ass, Duski! Life can be a real stinker sometimes but it sounds like you're pushing through n' doing so wonderfully, all things considered. We are here 'cause we wanna support ya and you putting your health and life before horny/otherwise art is absolutely justified, haha. You got this, fam ! Maybe them spider's catch all the bad vibes and keep them away from ya. Any forest spirits come say hey yet? Cheers, kampadre! We're rooting for ya!!🤘🤘

Duski Loveless

Thank you so much. Ahaha, the spiders are definitely better than the moths. Forest spirits… hmmm. That’s a thought. No, but I shall look out. 🖤

ThePanflexual

So happy to hear that you're tackling all the change and tough times so well. It's always hard to have any one of those hurdles, let alone all of them at once, but you're crushing it. We're here to support you through the good, bad, and everything in between! <3

Huge Cook

I can't imagine what you've been going through but having gone through a ton of transition in a short time this year, both expected and unexpected, I understand how it can completely derail everything. Therapy and medicine helped me, but I still cry daily and have trouble staying focused. Just be kind to yourself. And remember that even if you can't get things back to the way they were, it's ok. You can still get to a place of peace.

Duski Loveless

Thank you so so much, honestly. (I’ll get back to your email soon, heh! 💕)

Duski Loveless

Yes. It’s incredibly hard. Thank you so much for the kind words, I really relate so hard. I’m being kind to myself, don’t you worry. It’s the ultimate act of self care to forgive yourself for struggling and accept it. ❤️

Brandon

Good luck with everything! Don't worry too much about us. Draw whatever makes you happy. Commissions of course are the exception since then you need to draw whatever they're paying you to draw, but all the stuff that's just yours is yours and no one else's. Start a project, stop project, change a project.... the world is your oyster. Go where your whim guides you. The personal growth stuff sucks, but you'll get through that too.

Bookshelf

I had my whole life upended too this year and a lot of shit changed and isn’t exactly stable rn, you just gotta get through it and focus on yourself and your wellbeing. Good luck! Also godkiller. What a badass.

Doll

Fell in love with your art on Twitter, so I had to follow even here. You it actually helped me so much with fighting my artblock, I had due to school. So I just wanted to thank you so so much for that! You’re literally amazing and so skilled I don’t think there was an art where I haven’t been left staring, zooming and appreciating every single detail. I hope you will soon feel better you’re amazing and a great inspiration to many small artists <333

Duski Loveless

damn i'm so sorry i only just saw this! i'm sooo late! thank you so much. your support genuinely means the world. i know i'll get through it. one day at a time. <3

Duski Loveless

i'm so late seeing this, i'm so sorry! something in the air this year, hahah. i really empathise. agree there. be kind and gentle with yourself, as i'm trying to be to my own self. i hope things look up for you in the future. <3

Duski Loveless

awh thank you *so* much! it genuinely means so much to me that you let me know that. i'm very glad to have helped you over some art block. art block is so much more than just a passing mood. being able to draw and be inspired is tied intrinsically to our health and mindset. it's very significant. so, anyway good job and good luck with everything. :)