Different 19 (HS) (Patreon)

Uncertainty was all he felt.  The cold temperature enveloped them as they sat on the curve of the street. Their legs were pushed against each of their chests, trying to recollect any body heat that they were producing. It was quiet except for when a car drove past them every thirty minutes.

“I didn’t mean anything I said that night” He whispered as he clenched his jaw and kept his sight fixated on his shoes. He felt too guilty to face her and look straight into her eyes. This type of vulnerability was unknown to him. Even apart she could wake up feelings in him. “I now see that I overreacted, and I blamed you for things that were out of your control” Y/N didn’t know how to respond or what to say. If it were another boy, she wouldn’t have even agreed to hear him, but for Harry, she would do anything.

“I apologize for not telling you. It was never my intention to hide it from you. I just didn’t think it was important or irrelevant. I should’ve been more honest” After much thinking, she could acknowledge that it hadn’t been completely his fault. She wasn’t perfect. She clearly made mistakes and she had to learn from them. “Nothing is going on between me and James. We just love each other as siblings. It’ll never be anything more than that. I’m sorry if I hurt you in any way possible.”

“No. I am so sorry. I said pretty fucked up things without even giving you the chance to fully explain the story behind it” Even if he was already admitting his mistakes to her, he still felt nervous. Harry just wanted her back. “I miss you” he admitted after a few minutes of silence. Y/N was overjoyed to hear that he had missed her and had struggled just as much during their separation.

“Me too” she simply said the truth.

“Can we go back to what we were?” He blurted as if he was ripping a band-aid off. He needed to know if there was any chance. He couldn’t continue with his life without knowing. She sighed loudly and then pulled on the ends of the sleeves of her jacket.

“It’s going to take some time, Harry” She wanted to forgive him instantly and act like nothing had happened, but it wasn’t realistic. It also wasn’t healthy for their relationship.

“As long as it takes. I don’t mind. I’ll do anything for your forgiveness” Harry had always watched romantic comedies and always seemed annoyed with how corny the speech that the lead actor gave. Nonetheless, he was now doing it, but he didn’t care.

“You pointed out all my flaws. I might seem confident, but I have insecurities too, you know?” Her voice was shaky as she delivered the statement. It wasn’t until the end that she cleared her throat and looked up at the sky trying to prevent her tears to fall. “I am aware that I come with a lot of baggage, and I don’t want you to feel like you are obligated to stay with me.”

She still didn’t understand how much she meant to him. He wanted to tell her. Harry wanted to tell her how he was falling in love with her, but it wasn’t the right time. He wanted to wait until they were more relaxed and comfortable with one another before telling her.

“I freaked out that night and instead of sitting down and resolving things with you. I let my feelings get the best of me. I said horrible and awful things to you, and I inevitably pushed you away. The greatest thing that had happened to me in a long time” The end of her lips curved up into a small smile and the knot that she felt on her throat felt looser.

“We’ll work on it. I am not ready to give up yet” Harry nodded and felt like the world had stopped working against him.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” He whispered as he scooched closer to her. She didn’t seem to mind.

“We are going to Aspen” Harry frowned, “We are going skiing. We wanted to get away from everything” she shrugged wanting to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal. “Sarah is coming” Y/N wanted him to hear it from her before he found out through social media.

“Oh really?” He was surprised that his best friend had gotten invited. He knew that Sarah had continued to hang out with his girlfriend, but he didn’t think that they had gotten as close. “When do you get back?”

“Next Wednesday” It was a long time away from him. She wanted to try to fix things, but how could she? When she was up in the mountains, he was back home all alone. “Do you want to come?” It sounded ridiculous and crazy especially since they had just gotten back together, but she believed that it could be great for them.

“Are you sure?” He knew that his parents would approve especially if they heard that Sarah was going too. They also loved Y/N and had asked about her lately. He kept saying she was busy with schoolwork and sports, but he never once said that they had taken a break. He didn’t want to say it because once he did it became real.

“Yeah. I think it would be nice” She knew that she had to do a lot of convincing and let the boys know of her drastic and quick decision.  She knew that James would approve, he wasn’t the problem. The problem was Sebastian.

“Okay. I’ll talk to my parents and let you know tomorrow morning. What time are you guys leaving?”

“Around four” Harry nodded but didn’t budge even though he wanted to lean in and kissed her. She inclined and rested her head on his shoulder. She kept her hands to herself. It was simple but a sweet gesture. “My ass is frozen” Y/N randomly whispered trying to lift the mood. Both of them cracked a smile and laughed heavily. It was pretty cold and the temperature was filtering through her jeans. It was so cold that her skin was starting to go numb.

“Do you want to sit on my lap?” Harry offered, not wanting her to be uncomfortable.

“What about your ass?” She took her head off his shoulder and shifted her body towards his. Her knees were pushed against his as she finally faced him.

“I have an English ass. They are manufactured to resist cold temperatures” It was now her turn to laugh. “Come here” He reached over and took her by her forearm gently. “It’s not like you haven’t sat on my lap before” He teased her as she gently settled on his lap. Y/N reached back and grabbed his wrists and pulled his arms around her wanting to gain more heat. He rested his head on her shoulder as they continued to hold one another until the movie ended and Sarah walked out.

She was happy and excited to finally see that the couple had somewhat resolved their issues. They talked for a few minutes as they walked back. Harry accompanied them back and guided her back to the apartment. They hugged each other but didn’t kiss. None of them wanted to push the other. They wanted to somewhat ease into it. They also didn’t want to kiss in front of Sadah.

She waved at him from the car as she carefully pulled out of the parking lot. The lights of her car illuminated him as he awkwardly stood in front of her car with his eyes slightly closed.

“Hey, honey. It’s everything okay?” He was surprised by her sudden call. They only called one another when there was an emergency or something urgent.

“Yeah, everything is okay. I just wanted to ask you something” She walked through her kitchen and started preparing herself some hot chocolate. Y/N craved a hot bath and after some hot chocolate in bed, tucked in.

“Okay. Shoot” He was laying on his bed with a notebook on his lap while he outlined a drawing. Sebastian had been on a date earlier in the day. He had met her at a small get-together at another school. She was quiet but very artistic and very different from the girls he used to date. Initially, she had rejected him multiple times and had come up with different excuses. He annoyed her so much that she finally caved in.

“I was wondering if Harry could join us?” There was silence from the other side of the line. He kept quiet as he tried to put his words together. He didn’t know what to say. Sebastian also didn’t want to be rude to her. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

“Do you think that’s smart? This trip was meant to distract you from him and now he is coming along. How are you going to heal?” He was extremely protective of Y/N’s feelings. Sebastian knew how much she struggled with maintaining her confidence. He just wanted her to find a boy that wouldn’t treat her badly or judge her for her past mistakes.

“We spoke today. We agreed to not give up and work to fix our mistakes” He only hummed back. “He apologized and promised to fix everything” Her best friend wasn’t fully convinced, but it was part of his job. He had to protect her and think badly about the outcome so he could prepare her if things turned out like that.

“He said some horrible things about you, Y/N. I just want you to be careful. Your heart isn’t a toy to be played around with” Sebastian was the type of man that would take art classes along with his sports and would take them thoughtfully just like his academic ones. He spent hours in the studio, painting and finishing art pieces so they could be displayed. His hands were always stained with paint.

“I know and I love you for caring so much but please just trust me on this” He exhaled loudly enough for her to hear. She could imagine him, running his fingers through his hair and him biting his bottom lip like he usually did when he was concerned or in deep thought.

“Fine. I trust you” Y/N silently danced around her bathroom as she turned on the faucet of the bathtub.  She had settled her mug on her nightstand and had prepared everything for her bath before turning on the faucet.

“I love you” Sebastian chuckled and rolled his eyes at her. She always managed to get away with things. She had them wrapped around her little finger.

“I love you too. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll let them know there’ll be another passenger” They were flying private after James had convinced them all. He didn’t want to feel trapped for three hours. He wanted to walk around and eat and sleep comfortably. She couldn’t blame him. Flying private was truly pleasant.

Their departure day arrived. Y/N picked Harry and Sarah up from their dorms. They were the first to load the plane. The flight crew had already arrived, but they were still setting everything up like the food and the beds. There were two twin beds on each side of the plane where Y/N had taken some very comfortable naps previously. Like when she had traveled to the Maldives with her parents last Christmas.

“Holy shit. Who’s paying for this?” Sarah asked as they walked towards the jet. She couldn’t believe the people that she was associating with recently.

“Just get in already” Harry kept quiet behind her as they loaded the plane. James and Sebastian were running late, but it didn’t surprise Y/N. The crew took their luggage and loaded it into the jet. Y/N made sure to bring her own pillow knowing from experience that it made her feel more comfortable and at home.

“Seriously though!” Sarah picked their conversation back up as they settled down in their respective seats. Harry sat in front of Y/N while Sarah was on the other side of the plane.

“Our three families bought it together” It had all started because of Y/N’s dad. Her mom had gone on a commercial flight, and they had spilled champagne on her. She came back complaining about the attention and the treatment. Her mom jokingly suggested buying a jet. Her father obviously took it seriously and the next dinner when all of their friends were present, he lightly touched upon the subject. They clearly all agreed and less than a year later the three families had a private jet to take anywhere.

“So, it’s James’s and Sebastian’s too?” Sarah asked as she rummaged through her bag for her headphones and a book. Y/N nodded back and settled down on her own seat.

“I honestly think they use it the most” They would randomly fly off to California, New York or Miami when they were bored of Chicago. Last year they had invited her to Hawaii for five days. It has been a blast. They spend their stay in bikinis and barefoot with sandy hair and skin.

“Let’s get this party started!!!” Sebastian yelled as he climbed aboard with giant smiles they walked into the plane. They all greeted one another and eventually settled down. They had stopped to get some burgers and snacks for everyone on the flight.

“Thank God we are getting out of this town!”  James exclaimed after the plane had taken off and was finally leveled. “I was going crazy.”

“Me too” Sarah added as she flipped through a magazine. “Thanks for inviting me!”

“There is no one we would rather take” James winked, consequently she rolled her eyes at him, but he could see that it had worked because she kept smiling. Sebastian had already set up a drawing station and had begun to work on the portrait that he was doing for his current love interest.

Y/N leaned her seat back and pulled a blanket over her body. Harry just watched her from across. She attempted to tug her legs up to her chest, but she couldn’t get comfortable. Her frown was evident in his eyes, so he reached over and grabbed her foot by her ankle.

“What are you doing?” Y/N lifted her head up as she felt his warm fingers on her skin. He slipped off her sneaker but left her white sock on. “Harry” He smiled and bit his bottom lip as his fingers massaged the sole of her foot gently.

“What?” He smirked as he attempted to help her relax.

“Nothing. Thank you” She wasn’t going to push him away. She was also not going to question everything. Y/N was just going to sit back and enjoy the sweet moment.

“What is this?” Harry ran his thumb over a scar above her ankle that he had uncovered. It was slightly pink and a lighter color than the rest of her skin.

“It’s from soccer.” Harry nodded,

“You are too cute” She wasn’t used to the small gestures, but she found them so sweet. He took his time to show her his love.

“Shut up” he hated when people gave him compliments.  It made him feel uncomfortable and he didn’t know what to say back after accepting it. He felt like a simple thank you was too superficial. Harry continued pressing his fingers and rubbing patterns and circles softly on her skin.

James had fallen asleep while watching a movie and Sebastian was bobbing his head in sleep. They had woken up earlier to run all the errands that they had procrastinated on. They had finished just in time to head to the airport. Their bodies ached from their workout in the early morning.

Sarah began watching a show that she had downloaded from Netflix and had easily joined the boys in their slumber.

Harry was the first to notice that their friends had passed out. The only light came from his seat. Everyone else had turned their lights on and the crew that turned on the hallway ones just in case of an emergency.

“You look tired. Don’t you want to rest? He asked concerned for her. He could see the bags that appeared under her eyes. Harry had also figured it out by the way that her rounded eyes had started to shut. She couldn’t fool him.

“A little bit. I am just cold” She was sitting by the window and could feel the freezing air filtering through the side of the plane.

“I can fix that” Harry unbuckled knowing a way that he could help her sleep comfortably. “Here” He proceeded to free her from her seat and pull her on his lap. The seats were big enough to fit both especially since she was so short. He wrapped his arms around her as she settled her head on him, her nose close to his neck. Her legs were tucked on his other side by his arm that lay over them. “Is that better?” He whispered as he looked down at her.

“Yeah. Are you comfortable?” Harry only nodded and rested his head on top of hers. He closed his eyes until she reached up and touched his other cheek with her hand. Y/N gently caressed his cheek with her thumb as she kept the rest of her hand in place.

“I think this is a good time to tell you that I am not that good at skiing” Y/N giggled and pressed a soft peck on the base of his neck as she nuzzled her face deeper into the crook of his neck.

“It’s okay. I am not that good either” That was a lie.

Skiing was an annual trip that her dad would take with his family. Mr. Y/L/N was an adrenaline junkie. He loved skydiving, scuba diving, and skiing. His job made him reside so much inside a four-walled room that whenever he had free time, he loved to be in nature experiencing new things.