Snowman 18 (Patreon)

Legend of the Snowman-Mancer 18

Euri Lawrence

I hummed happily as I followed along behind Arle, Signora’s ice coffin slung over my back. And why wouldn’t I be?

This was Peruere, the Arlecchino, the Knave. Fourth Harbinger. Queen of aura-farming. Edgy spider-lady. She of infinite “please step on me, daddy” memes. She was the Father of the House of the Hearth, an orphanage that raised child soldiers and spies, with love.

Hell, strictly speaking, she was even an edgy Sailor Moon knockoff, a bonafide moon princess. Hers was the legacy of the Crimson Moon Dynasty of Khaenri’ah. Inside her was the “Cinder of Two Worlds’ Flames” and the Moon Marrow of the Iridescent Moon, a power that rivaled the Archons and Sovereigns.

I could admit it; I was a shameless fanboy. In every region, there were a few people I truly adored, people I’d go out of my way to meet. Needless to say, she was one of those for Fontaine. Getting the opportunity to meet my favorite characters like this made my nine years in Dragonspine worth it.

The baddest of baddies led me to a nondescript apartment building in the same district as Hotel Debord. The House of the Hearth had a place here, where Lyney and Lynette lived while building a name for themselves as magicians. It lacked the luxury expected of a top diplomat, but it was homey and there was no luxury that could replace the privacy it offered.

I sat at a plain but sturdy coffee table, Durin on my lap and my Signora-board stood against the couch. A familiar catgirl served us snacks and tea and my familiar happily sampled them all. Even hot tea didn’t bother him despite his ice body; I really owed Alice one.

Arlecchino sat across from me in silence, one leg crossed over her knee. Her cross-marked pupils studied me like an interesting puzzle. Her face remained blank, betraying none of her thoughts.

“Thank you, Lynette,” I said with a friendly nod. Personally, I felt that Nod Krai would have been a cakewalk if Arle pointed her daughter in Dottore’s general direction. The Destroyer of Technology deserved my utmost respect. Teyvat truly had its own laws.

“You know her as well? Oracles truly are troublesome,” Arlecchino spoke after a sip of tea. Somehow, she made even that mundane action look ominous. “Why have you come looking for me, Euri Lawrence?”

I slid Rosalyne over to her like a hockey puck. “Believe it or not, it’s because I think you’re one of the more reasonable Harbingers. I was hoping that you could keep her in line. Her schemes tend to be… self-destructive.”

She stopped her coworker’s undignified slide with a smoky-black finger. Flames bloomed from her hand, the red of freshly spilled blood. The power of the Iridescent Moon ate away at my felfrost. For a moment, I held my mana there so I could watch the two powers interact.

The Iridescent Moon, second of the three moon goddesses, was currently a corrupted shell of its former glory. The goddess’ Moon Marrow resided within a subspace only Arlecchino could access. It, like much of Khaenri’ah, had been corrupted by the abyss and it was the source of Arle’s strange flames.

In other words, hers was an “abyssal fire” in the same way mine was “abyssal ice.” She inherited her fire as a descendant of the Crimson Moon Dynasty’s royalty whereas I willingly developed the felfrost while studying Durin’s still-beating heart. Given that Rhinedottir, Durin’s original “mother,” was one of the Sinners of Khaenri’ah, our powers weren’t unrelated.

The moment her flames touched my ice, they vied for supremacy like a pair of competitive siblings. Her eyes widened in surprise. There was no way she wouldn’t notice the influence of the abyss. “I see. Is this why you sought me out?”

“Partially, yes. I admit to being curious about your special brand of Pyro. As you can see, I have my own variant,” I nodded.

“Interesting. But you assume much. While I am the Fourth and she the Eighth, I cannot directly command her even if I wished to assist you. She is a military and diplomatic asset. She will be deployed like it, at the Tsaritsa’s discretion.”

“But she’s braindead,” I complained, making the newly freed Eighth bristle. “What if I told you that by dragging her ass here, I’m saving her life?”

“Oh? Would you have mailed her head to Snezhnaya had you no cause to meet me?”

“Hmm? Oh! You think I’m threatening her,” I laughed at the absurdity. “That’s the funny part, Arle: I’m not. Rosie here would commit suicide-by-Archon in… I want to say six months? Definitely under a year.”

“You think her plans would have backfired without your intervention.”

“Hilariously, and with permanent consequences. As in, she gets executed by Raiden. I’m dead serious; if you see her as a friend in any way, you’d be doing her a favor by keeping her on a short leash.”

“How convenient for you then, that there is no way to confirm the truth of your words.”

“Look, I already promised Rosie here that I’d personally give the Anemo Gnosis to the Tsaritsa once I’m done using it. Hell, she has more claim to it than anyone, anyway. I’m not denying that. And here I am, returning your tea party-buddy. Can’t you extend a bit of goodwill and trust that I’m not lying to you?”

“Perhaps, but my opinion is of no consequence. What you ask is not for me to decide on my own. Rest assured, I do appreciate that you’ve spared her life, even if you seem to take an inordinate amount of pleasure in humiliating her.”

“She’s a bitch,” I shrugged ambivalently. “She intentionally exacerbated a national emergency, threatened people I care about, and manipulated my family–”

“You don’t care about Schubert Lawrence,” Rosalyne cut in. “You wouldn’t shut up about what a backwards, arrogant waste of air he is.”

“Not him, no, but it’s the principle of the matter. You also sent a cicin mage to steal the Holy Lyre der Himmel from the Favonius Cathedral. That’s a national relic. Wars have started for less, you know.”

“While her methods are… aggressive… she remains an agent of the Tsaritsa,” Arlecchino said diplomatically. “I can admit a certain degree of retribution may have been warranted.”

“Alright, I get it; she’s one of your own. Can you pass on a message for me, then? To the Tsaritsa.”

“I suppose I could.”

“Tell her that in exchange for keeping a tighter leash on Rosie here, I’m willing to do her job for her. The Geo Gnosis, maybe even Electro depending on how well this goes.”

“You want to take my job?” Rosalyne said, voice pitched high in disbelief. “As if everything you’ve done to me wasn’t enough, you want my job?”

I leaned back into Arle’s couch. I liked it; it was the perfect medium between plush and firm. Lounging back like this, petting a happily food coma’d Durin, I felt like a Bond villain. “Well, why not? As I mentioned before I handed you your ass, Lord Barbatos isn’t opposed to giving away the Gnosis, nor am I.”

Arlecchino hummed in thought as her colleague sputtered her denials. “You are an interesting man. I suppose if the Tsaritsa rejects, you will make a greater nuisance of yourself?”

“Only if our goals conflict. Or you poke your noses in Mondstadt’s territory again. A diplomatic contingent is fine, the shit Rosie tried to pull is not. Really, just my presence here should tell you that we’re not necessarily enemies.”

“Very well. I will convey your words to her majesty–”

“Arlecchino! You can’t be going along with this! We can–” Rosalyne began as the temperature in the room started to rise.

“Can what, Rosalyne? Subdue him here? Perhaps we should capture him and drag him before the Tsaritsa? Or kill him?”

“Yes!”

“It is no wonder Mondstadt took such offense to your presence. I’d thought you wiser than this,” she rebuked her colleague. Physically, she did nothing else, but the temperature returned to normal as she forcibly suppressed the Eighth’s mastery of fire.

“He’s only one man! No matter what tricks he has, we could–”

“We could, but at what cost? Is Fontaine without its protectors? Aren’t we already being watched? We would burn down half of Fontaine and start a war with two nations. We would make the work of our peers in other nations far more difficult, not to mention my own mission here.”

I raised a finger with a crooked smile. “Strictly speaking, I’m in exi–”

“Don’t you start, oracle. It’s a cute bit of political fiction, but don’t think anyone here believes it for a moment.”

“Heh, fair enough. I knew you’d be reasonable, Arle,” I said with a sincere smile. “Thanks for this, really. Even if you say this isn’t your call to make, a letter coming from you carries a lot more weight than anything I can say.”

“You will work to acquire the Geo Gnosis. Tell me, do you intend to replace Rosalyne altogether amongst the Harbingers?” she asked. Next to her, Rosalyne looked downright horrified. That would be a humiliation she simply couldn't bear.

“No, not really. You lot are a mixed bag. I respect some of you immensely, and others not at all. Still, I’ll be in Liyue so you can have someone at the Northland Bank reach me. Actually, I might open up an account there. I’d appreciate it if you put in a good word for me with Pantalone.”

“I’ll see what I can do. But tell me, why is it that you possess the powers of the abyss?”

“Allow me to keep some of my secrets,” I said, standing. “Really, it’s been a pleasure.”

“Unexpectedly, I can say this has been a largely painless prisoner extradition,” she replied with a ghost of a smile.

X

I hummed happily as I walked away. Durin stood on my shoulder. His scarlet eyes darted from place to place, taking in all the myriad colors of the big city. I promised him that we could explore after I finished my business with Arlecchino.

The Court of Fontaine was admittedly a bit more modern than Mondstadt, at least in terms of aesthetics and culture. There were newsstands, clockwork meka, and bright, colorful signage that weren’t found in my home city. It was all very exciting for the little guy.

I plucked him out of the air before he could rise too high above my head. “Let’s not fly, bud. Do you remember what I said about Folcalors being the god of justice?”

“That people in Fontaine love to make stupid, hyper-niche laws that only affect like two people because they have the indinium,” he recited dutifully. That earned me several glares from passersby.

I let out a sheepish laugh. He didn’t really understand “tact” yet. “Ahaha, maybe not so loud, buddy… And it’s indemnitium, the power drawn from the people’s belief in justice through the Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale.”

“You said words. Those sure are words,” Durin drawled.

“Heh, who taught you to be cheeky?”

“Aunt Alice. She says you won’t punish me if I blame everything on her.”

“That woman…”

“But Euri, is there a law against flying? We came in from the air,” he pointed out, quite reasonably.

“There is a law that prohibits anyone within city limits from releasing flying objects into the air in the first three days of each month. And, now that we’ve landed, we’re within city limits.”

“But I’m not an object. That’s dumb.”

“Right, you’re a Durin, not to be confused with either flying objects or durians,” I nodded. “Alas, we’d have to go through their convoluted legal system to get you classified as ‘not an object’ and that’d be troublesome.”

“Aww, I can’t see as well from the ground and I want to explore,” he whined. He stared up at me with big, crimson eyes that stood out amidst his snow-white scales. Truly, Klee had taught him a rather dangerous technique.

I chuckled and began feeding him mana. He grew and grew, until he stood five feet tall at the shoulder. Being a dragon, he could easily crane his neck higher. “There. Just be careful not to run into anyone, okay? Humans aren’t as durable as you are and shoving people is rude.”

“Okay! Thanks, Euri!” he chirped as he waded into the crowd.

Would I regret letting Durin have free rein? Possibly.

Then again, he was a child. He knew a great many secrets, both as a fact of his creation and through associating with me. But even so, his mind was young and it was only right for a child to be let out to play.

That said, I did feel a little trepidation. A child’s mind in the body of a horse-sized snow golem could potentially cause a lot of chaos.

“Maybe I should acquire a bit more mora, just in case I need to pay someone off,” I muttered as I headed for the smithy. It couldn’t hurt to have a bit of insurance.

X

The most renowned smithy in Fontaine was beneath Palais Mermonia, in the neighborhood known as the Vasari Passage. It was a place known as the Beaumont Workshop. 

Here, experienced smiths worked alongside machines. That was what distinguished them from smiths of Mondstadt. They had modern lathes, bandsaws, and even a hydraulic drop hammer, all powered by indemnitium. The burly, manly man archetype of the master smith wasn’t necessary here.

Well, it wasn’t as if their masterworks were any better. Personally, I thought their products were somewhat lacking on the high end. Call it patriotic pride, but I was of the opinion that the greatest blade ever forged was the Gest of the Mighty Wolf, wielded by Grandmaster Varka. No, in a world where enchantments were the norm, “modern” tools didn’t raise the ceiling for a weapon’s quality.

The true worth of the Beaumont Workshop’s approach was found in their reliability, speed, and versatility. I wasn’t being entirely fair to them because the workshop wasn’t strictly a weapons forge. As the premier smithy in the Court of Fontaine, they received commissions from every faction. They fashioned gears and bolts, lamps and chairs frames, as well as weapons and armor.

Which is why I felt quite confident I’d find a buyer here. The truth was, I was kinda broke, at least when it came to mora. My inventory was filled with the bounty of Dragonspine and random, expensive crap from the Lawrence estate, but I didn’t get the chance to offload much before I left. In short, I needed travel funds.

“Hello~” I sang as I skipped into the workshop with a beaming smile on my face. “Is the boss in?”

A slim, kindly-looking woman came out. Her outfit was a compromise between the client-facing professionalism demanded by Fontaine and the practicality of an artisan.

She had brunette hair, kept in a tight bun to protect it from the heat and machinery. On her head was a pair of shaded goggles to shield her eyes from welding flame. Her gloves were made from weathered leather, with exposed fingers for precision work. 

“Hello, I’m Estelle Beaumont, how can I–” she greeted, only to cut herself off when she saw me. “A-Ah, it’s you.”

“Me~ Hehe, I guess you saw that little show at the Palais,” I laughed.

“You certainly know how to make an entrance, sir.”

“Euri, please. I gave up being a ‘sir.’”

“Well, what can I do for a former Knight of Favonius? Do you need a weapon? Or perhaps, you’re interested in clockwork meka?”

“Neither, Miss Estelle. I’m in need of some more travel expenses and was hoping you’d be interested in buying raw materials from me. Iron, white iron, mana crystals and the like.”

“Oh, is that all? Of course I can help. How much do you have? I promise I’m quite fair with my prices.”

So began a round of fierce haggling. She was a businesswoman. I was an argumentative troll. Our bickering was the stuff of legends. She was taken aback when I showed her just how massive my inventory actually was.

I had a lot of practice with this spell. When I began digging out Durin’s old body, I had to move tons and tons of snow. And when I ran into useful minerals, I moved those deep into Starglow Cavern, the cave system at the heart of Dragonspine. I couldn’t bring everything with me, but I had more than enough to impress a smith.

Of particular interest to her was the unique metal known as starsilver. It was found nowhere else in Teyvat and reacted especially well to ice magic and related enchantments. I’d commissioned a set of bracers made from this metal for my sister a few years ago.

In the end, she bought out my stock so she could experiment. She didn’t have  anything specific in mind, but understood that my stay here would be temporary. She got a distinctly predatory gleam in her eyes when she mentioned she’d consider selling it to the Fontaine Research Institute. A local monopoly was formed, not that this was my concern.

So, a great deal richer, I hummed to myself as I went about the rest of my business. I wanted to stock up on Fontanian cuisine and collect a few recipes for my travels. We wouldn’t be here long and Durin deserved to see and taste as much as I could show him.

I also registered with the Adventurers Guild. Now that I was unaffiliated with the Knights of Favonius, I could start raising my rank with them. I probably knew all the information the local Katheryne could give me, but it couldn’t hurt to have an official badge I could point to. The everyman wouldn’t accept “professional troll” as an occupation.

Lastly, I checked in at the Hotel Debord. It was an iconic building and I wanted to say I’d stayed there at least once. More importantly, the food was supposed to be incredible, even if their greatest chef was currently in an underwater prison.

My affairs settled, I locked on to Durin’s mana signature. Lightly tugging on the familiar bond we shared, I began making my way to him. He practically glowed with delight through the bond so I knew he was having a blast.

Author’s Note

Introducing Euri Lawrence, the not-quite-a-Fatui-Harbinger. Saying he’ll help the Fatui acquire the Geo Gnosis is a lot easier when he knows that Rex Lapis isn’t particularly attached to his.

Animal Fact: The giant anteater can weigh over eighty pounds. It must consume forty thousand ants per day to be healthy. Its tongue is two feet long. Unfortunately, anthills are much deeper than that.

To make up the difference, its claws are five inches long and used to claw through anthills. Those claws are strong enough to dig into concrete. It’s like God made the least serious-looking creature then decided to give it a set of machetes for hands.