Dead End 2: Deathly Di-Di-Doo Ch.9 (Patreon)

[Magi-Effect]

— Aria —

She’d known they would return. In the Skyllian Verge, they were practically inevitable — a cursed fact of life on the frontier.

Aria had feared this day for so long. She always thought she would’ve been helpless, just cowering with the creche — her sisters and Sean — until some four-eyed monster found them to finish what their kin had started years ago.

Now, she stood on the roof of one of Illyria’s buildings, a skyscraper she’d scaled under her own power, as frigates and shuttles streamed down from orbit. She watched the stars fall with new eyes, determination burning in her new artificial heart, and power — magical power — driving her every new moment.

Sean claimed it ‘wasn’t so artificial’. That ‘her body was her, no matter its origins,’ and that she should think ‘in terms of soul, not failing physical features’.

He’d done the impossible, all he’d been working toward for so long, so Aria was inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Magic… Sean hadn’t lied to them or danced around the issue at all, not now and not since the very start. He’d been claiming it for years.

While the galaxy clung to the Mass Effect, Sean worked to give them a Magi-Effect so they never had to surrender or suffer again.

He’d even told them how — openly recounting reincarnation and a life as Merlin…

Lucillia had always thought it was roleplay: Sean indulging her. Mary had always smiled at Sean’s dedication to his work, even as she thought he was coping in his own way and prayed for him. Beth had always teased him, and when he responded seriously, even snapped at him for holding onto some dream; Aria knew she regretted it each time.

Ama had always been supportive, getting Sean whatever he said he needed, but Aria could never tell if she’d believed or not. Aria, though… All she’d been able to do was watch and listen in that cursed chair. So she’d learned to watch closely and listen well.

She’d believed from the very start, the very first time she saw a telltale glow in Sean’s prototyping, the very first time she heard him ramble to himself about the proper combination of runes and glyphs.

It was magic, the impossible belonging solely to their insignificant, ignored corner of the galaxy. Sean defied the laws of reality by effort, will, and care; he did it for them, making magic theirs and theirs alone.

Aria had always believed; every time Sean claimed magic, she listened, and every time he showed progress, she witnessed.

Still, even she’d been shocked to find Sean putting his work into action, to come in on him utterly remaking himself to test the same magic he intended to gift the rest of them.

His success made that shock worth it. And when he asked them to trust him, they did. Like Sean, they were remade by magic — mere orphans made so much more.

Magical orphans — angels, Caine’s Angels — who now stood against an alien blitz that put the raid that’d orphaned all of them to shame.

“Ready?” Sean asked her in a quiet but steady voice.

“I-… I can feel them coming,” Aria replied — just as quiet, much less steady. “I can feel so much… They have only sadism in their hearts. That frigate is dangerously close to falling right out of the sky. There are slaves in their holds already…”

“Interfacing: your Pseudo-Phantasm,” Sean nodded. “Don’t push yourself, Aria.”

“Push myself?” Aria laughed and grinned. “I can feel so much-! I can feel Elysium rising in defense! I can feel steel in human hearts, and alien hearts, too! I can feel the guns firing into the sky, and the impact against kinetic shields! I can feel Lucillia’s anxiety molded into energy, Ama’s composure, Mary’s faith, Beth’s fire! I can feel you, Sean; you’re a star. I never want to go back to feeling nothing.”

Sean chuckled and shook his head, “I see I’m worrying for nothing.”

“And I can feel your worry; it’s beautiful.”

“Do you need anything more from me? Another mech-golem? I can try and find enough scrap to raise one more-”

“Nah,” Aria cut him off with a grin. “We’ll win. We’ve got your Magi-Effect on our side. We’re ready just like this. I can feel it.”

Sean grinned back at her, “Then let’s get to showing the galaxy things they never dreamed possible.”

Stars continued to fall upon Elysium, a meteor shower of malicious starship drives. The planet’s defensive grid barely made a dent in the first wave. Where massive ground-to-air railguns failed, six magical souls didn’t. They made all the difference in the blitz.

“Lord, gird our hearts and bless our arms,” Mary prayed. “Our cause is just, rising only in defense of home, and creche, and siblings standing beside us. We carry magic gifted by your son, and go to do violence against the darkness today. I beg no forgiveness, Lord-…”

Her new arms rose toward the sky as she raised her head from prayer. Golden light came to shine in their palms.

“-Only that you watch over those who cannot watch over themselves should we fail. Amen.”

Twin pillars of gold shot into the sky as Mary channeled faith into lasers — her ‘Pseudo-Phantasm’, as Sean called them. Starship-grade kinetic barriers didn’t even trigger before the ships in question were rent in twain.

Golden scars were carved into the first wave of the raid. The ships that survived immediately fell into panic. Aria could feel Batarian voices barking as they tried to figure out ‘What the Hell-?!’ just happened, and she could feel similar confusion, if more optimistic, from the defenders on the ground.

“Was that one of ours?!”

“Lasers from God or not, make sure those guns keep firing!”

“Please tell me there’s more where that came from!”

Aria took a moment to grin to herself, giddy to be able to contribute. She reached into the sky with her own Pseudo-Phantasm, Interfacing with the ships as they formed a frantic swarm.

She tweaked and tricked the systems she Interfaced with. Kinetic barriers were sabotaged, and she felt the still-firing defensive hail of fire begin to find purchase upon Batarian hulls. Reactors were shut down, and she felt ships begin to fall like bricks as the Mass Effect fields failed outright. Panicking comms were subverted, and she felt deafening static begin to play in their place like incomprehensible screams from hell.

“Sir, they’re falling out of the sky!”

“God be good, we might just win the day!”

Aria knew Mary would like that last comm message. She saved it with just a thought before Sean stepped up to the fore. It was his turn, a master of magic while they were so new to it. Aria couldn’t wait to see what impossible feat he’d pull~…

“Beth, I could use your Pseudo-Phantasm here,” Sean said. “I’ll channel my magecraft through you.”

“You just expect me to know what to do with that?!” Beth snapped; her temper was running as hot as ever.

“You don’t need to do much,” Sean chuckled. “Leave all the heavy lifting to me, yeah? You’ll know it when you feel it, and when you do… just think ‘Overkill’.”

Above, a second wave came to join the panicking first. The raiders found their nerve again in numbers. They swarmed in the sky for a few moments, but when no more lasers rose to cut them down, they began their descent in renewed force.

Sean just smiled, turning his back on the shooting star-ships, “As Merlin… they called me the Magus of Flowers.”

A pink flower bud bloomed between his fingers, and Aria felt it start a chain reaction. She felt his magic reach into the sky, a race of cause and effect she couldn’t put into words. She felt it touch each ship in its descent, and upon each of them, one flower bloomed.

Just as Sean had said, Beth knew her cue, roaring with all the spite and anger in her heart, “Overkill!”

The chain reaction of Sean’s magic exploded with Beth’s Pseudo-Phantasm as the catalyst. Over and over and over into infinity, flowers bloomed. They spread like a ripple through the raiding waves.

Cherry blossoms asserted dominance upon reality as all thought they understood it. Simple petals: they swept through the sky. Starship-grade armor was consumed and converted, fueling further transformation. Every malicious actor found the technology they so relied upon fluttering right out from beneath them.

The blitz fell out of the sky, not as shooting stars but as an equally idyllic scene: flowers as far as the eye could see, and even farther than the mind could comprehend.

The rest of the creche watched on in awe as blooming magic reigned supreme. Aria felt every moment of it. She felt the comms within the fleet fall utterly silent as the wave of flowers approached — horrified. She felt the comms from the ground fall equally stunned. She felt brutal metal turn beautiful. She felt technology yield to magic, knowing nothing like it. She felt Batarian raiders fall to their deaths with nothing beneath them. She felt the slaves within their holds carried down to safety upon fluttering petals. 

At the end of the potentially terrible day, only flowers fell upon Elysium.

IIIII

— Sean Caine —

“Now that…” Hecate shuddered vicariously. “That was good spellwork.”

“Death and Magic…” Klarion muttered, stunned.

“Nah, just Sean ‘Merlin’ Caine,” Raven deadpanned.

“♡┉ˏ͛ (❛ 〰 ❛)ˊˎ┉♡” Cass smirked to herself. ‘Heh, Flower-Fall.’

Savage laughed, “Oh, what a debut! A grand showing of the impossible for the noblest of causes! A true mastery of shock and awe!”

“Hmm, I do wonder how the mortals reacted to that, never knowing magic before such a dominant feat of it,” Lucifer mused.

I chuckled, “With about as much disbelief as they could possibly muster. As Savage said, our debut shocked, and it awed.”

“I think even those used to magic would react similarly,” Ganthet noted, amused.

“Yeah, that’s… that’s not an everyday occurrence, even with magic as an accepted fact. You can never do things by half, can you?” Kara giggled.

“They were raiding my home,” I said. “A world literally named after paradise, and they looked to make it Hell. I wasn’t about to give them any mercy.”

“And after? Did you reveal yourself as responsible?” Didi asked.

I shrugged, “We didn’t hide from it, claiming credit to all who asked, but there weren’t very many people who thought to ask. I mean, what reasonable, logical person would think six orphans had cracked the Mysteries of Magic?”

“Beautifully ironic, for it was actually the only reasonable and logical answer if they had been able to look past their disbelief,” Lucifer chuckled.

“Correct, yes, but logical and reasonable?” Michael shook his head. “No, even with the proper context to comprehend the situation, I don’t think ‘six orphans pioneering magic’ makes much sense in any reality, much less a magic-less one. I cannot blame the mortals of the life for floundering.”

“Probably didn’t help them put the cat back in the bag, though,” Raven flatly noted.

Kori cocked her head, “Do cats like the bags? If not, why do the putting back in? No, that is not of the good! One must free the kitty, all kitties!”

“If the ‘kitty’ was magic, it certainly was set free after that debut,” I chuckled. “And no one quite knew what to do with it. It’s hard enough to catch a regular cat; forget a magical one.”

“Mew?!” Mew gasped, affronted.

“More like you caught me,” I deadpanned back at my past life’s partner in Póke-crime.

“Oh, I can already see it~!” Delirium cackled. “The MADNESS that followed! A nice, proper, and coordinated investigation — by the book, yes; it simply must be done! And look! Don’t these silhouettes on that rooftop look like they’re doing… something?

“‘I know you’re on leave, Shepard, but I need you to look into them…’”

“Mew!” Mew chimed into Delirium’s impromptu recreation of the madness that’d followed our debut in that life — all ‘imagined’.

“‘Orphans?’ Oh!” Delirium’s recreating voice wasn’t hers — much too gruff and commanding — but the playful gasp she added was. “‘There must be some mistake.’”

She continued playing up her recreation of events even I hadn’t been there to witness, “‘No, sir, we have their records and everything — no sign of… that, though. Just a report of oddness from one of their supervising matrons, and she couldn’t even say what was odd. A few records of odd purchases and things going missing, too. Sir, I think there’s-…’ Yeah, be curious, Shepard~!”

“‘Dammit, I won’t have anything worthwhile to report at this rate-! It’s all over the damned extranet, Shepard! The God-be-damned Council is asking questions! If we find nothing, we’ll be crawling with Spectres!’ Boo, Colonel Massy, no imagination! All work, no whimsy!”

Everyone else couldn’t help but watch, enthralled as Delirium helped tell that life’s story for me. It was like a tennis-match conversation, except Delirium was playing both sides.

“‘Sir, I think I can track them down and ask some questions in person.’

“‘Do it. We need answers, by any means necessary. I’ll shield you from the consequences, Shepard.’”

“As if Shepard would resort to something so renegade,” Delirium giggled to herself. “Something like that, though. How’d I do?”

Everyone stared.

Didi sighed and reached over to pat her youngest sister on the head, “Very well, I’m sure. Did it sound accurate, Sean?”

“Uhm…” Even I had to take a moment to regather myself. “Yeah, that’s probably about right. I wasn’t there for any of those conversations, but if Delirium imagines it…? At the very least, the first one to come asking questions was that Jane Shepard I mentioned earlier.”

I waved at the mirror behind me as it reflected that conversation.

“Sean Caine? Do you have a few moments to answer some pressing questions?” A visitor came to the creche — red-haired, fit, and flashing a badge of military office.

Sean greeted her with an unconcerned shrug, “Sure, I don’t mind. Come on in; just give me a second to put up what I was working on.”

“Something to hide?”

“Nah, just messy. We’re packing up to move out. I don’t have anything to hide from the Alliance, Miss…?”

“Shepard. Jane Shepard. N7.”

“Good for you.”

“… Quite. Mr. Caine, I’m sure you know why I’m here. Where were you during the blitz?”

“You know that skyscraper on the corner of Rome and 11th? I perched myself on top of it with the girls. Needed a good view of the sky.”

“Why did you need a good view of the sky?”

“I wasn’t about to sit around and let those bastards take more from us…”

“And you could do something to stop them? I’ll admit, I’m finding that a bit hard to believe.”

“I did what I could, because I could. It’s really not any more complex than that, Shepard.”

“But what? What did you do?”

“Magic.”

“Magic. Magic…?”

“Could that Flower-Fall have been done by any conventional means?”

“… No. Certainly nothing biotic. Not tech-… No, you’re right; it couldn’t have been done by anything in the galaxy that we know of. So I… I almost believe you, strangely enough. I just-… Am I supposed to go back to my superiors with claims of ‘magic’, Caine?”

“Why not?”

“I’ll be laughed out of the room. Hell, I’d laugh myself out of the room! Give me something more to work with here, please. How do you know… ‘magic’? How is that possible? How has no one seen anything like it before?”

“Mystery is part of the process, I’m afraid. No, really. I’m not trying to be all ‘a magician never reveals his secrets’ here. Mystery is, quite literally, an inherent aspect of the magic I used.”

“Then… it’s a controlled and directed phenomenon? That’s… something. Maybe I can-… Where did you learn your magic, Caine? Does humanity have a secret society of wizards to worry about, too?”

“Heh, not in this life.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“If you’re struggling to believe magic, you certainly won’t believe that, Shepard.”

“Try me.”

“This isn’t my first life. Not even my second. In one of them, before humanity ever reached for the stars, that magical secret society was very real. And if you knew it as I do, you’d be very grateful that there’s nothing like it in this life.”

“I-… What am I supposed to say to that? It’s…”

“Truly ridiculous, I know. But as I said, I have nothing to hide. You asked; I answered. Truthfully. You don’t have the right context to make sense of me, but I am trying to give it to you.”

“I want to label you insane, Caine. I should. My superiors certainly will. I shouldn’t believe a word out of your mouth…”

“But you do, don’t you? ‘Cause you don’t just have my word to go on; you have something you can’t explain, too, something that no one can explain.”

“… I picked up one of the flowers. It was as real as my own hand.”

“Magic, Shepard. I can’t call it anything else without lying to you.”

“Massy wanted me to get answers by any means necessary. I-I should arrest you.”

“Will you? I’d go along with it — answer the questions the Alliance has for me and everything. They won’t like my answers, though. And while I’d cooperate that much, once they inevitably took it farther and tried to keep me against my will, I wouldn’t be so agreeable. So will you arrest me? Alienate me? Will you take away all of my agency, just for being something you and your superiors don’t understand?”

“… This will be the blackest mark on my record.”

“Not arresting an Alliance citizen would be a black mark?”

“Letting magic slip through our fingers might be.”

“I’m human, too, Shepard. I don’t intend to leave our people out to dry; just to help at my own pace.”

“Humanity won’t be the only ones looking to get a piece of your pie, Caine. The Council has already seen what you did; half the galaxy must have by now. The Alliance could protect-…”

“They could. They might, even. But the odds aren’t great. You know it as well as I do. They’d hold on as tightly as they could to an impossible new golden goose; that wouldn’t be protecting me, and even if it was, do you really think I need it?”

“… What will you do, then? Where do you go from here? Where do you go with… magic?”

“There’s a whole galaxy out there, and even magic wants to experience new things. We were thinking of founding a PMC, but just for the freedom, really. My Angels and I… we’re going to live as we never had the chance to. We’ll be around, Shepard; maybe we’ll even see each other again.”

“Call it a hunch, but, ha-… I think we will. Until then, Caine. And… thank you, on behalf of Elysium. Impossible… or not, your magic saved lives.”

The reflected scene shifted in a burst of flowers, and I took back up the narration.

“I almost wish we’d stuck around to see the aftermath of Shepard’s report. We didn’t give the Alliance the chance to dig their own grave and throw themselves into it, though. Caine’s Angels were up and off paradise before someone much less reasonable and willing to listen than Shepard was sent after us.”

“Simply prudent,” Soranik nodded. “You were something they wanted, and they had the authority over you to extract it by any means necessary. I think anyone would look to cut those ties as quickly as possible.”

“I mean, I’m all for not getting arrested and dissected or whatever, but there must have been more people like Shepard who wouldn’t infringe upon your basic rights for power, right?” Kyle argued.

“With magic on the table?” Soranik shot back.

“Even with magic on the table,” Kyle stuck to his guns. “Shepard must’ve reported that Sean was open to cooperation, after all. All it would’ve taken was a bit of patience-”

“Patience? From individuals, perhaps, but I would not rely on the patience of a state,” Soranik sneered.

I chuckled, “Either way, we kinda forced their hand to patience by up and going our own way. We left the power-grasping games to circle and speculate, disappearing into the stars to experience whatever the galaxy had to throw at us.”

“Of course, even if we tried to leave the newly sparked power games behind us, the players were never going to simply let us be. When you have an advantage like magic, though,” I smirked. “The well-laid schemes of the powers that be tend to become more amusing and adventurous than truly concerning.”

“As they do,” Klarion smirked right back.

Savage nodded to himself, “The perfect foil for a space adventure…: all the covetous power players in the galaxy! HAHA, yes!”

“I imagine you never had an uneventful day, Sean,” Didi chortled.

“Give ‘em a reason and a chance, and someone will always try something,” I agreed.

Kori clapped excitedly, “And then, with magic, you do the dancing of circles around the some of things!”

“(╮°-°)╮┳━━┳ ( ╯°-°)╯ ┻━━┻” Cass mimed. ‘Sometimes, the best way to live is to start flipping all the boards in the galaxy and never stop. This is known. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.’

“We really, really wouldn’t,” Didi chuckled. “Especially not from Sean and his stories.”

The scenes in the mirror started back up, in media res, as I narrated the first step of Caine’s Angels onto the galactic stage.

“We booked a flight to Omega first — a wretched hive of scum and villainy in all the best of ways — intent on stealing ourselves a ship to call home. Immediately, things did not go to plan. See, Omega had a queen: a Pirate Queen-…”

IIIII

— Aria —

“Is there already a bounty on our heads or something?” Ama asked.

“One for every power player in the galaxy, I’d bet,” Sean laughed. “The Pirate Queen of Omega, knowing the rumors, placed half of them as a proxy and is looking to collect on the other half.”

Ama shrugged, even as her Pseudo-Phantasm — Symbiote: the magical shape-shifting armor that had all but replaced her skin thanks to Sean’s work — formed a wicked spike that punched through a Turian’s kinetic barrier, metallic carapace, and skull.

He’d been trying to sneak up on them. Ama must’ve seen him coming from a block away. Aria knew she’d felt him coming from even farther. Sean probably knew what he’d had for dinner last night. 

Either way, the end result was a very dead, not-very-sneaky Turian bounty hunter left on the side of the street. It wasn’t the first body left to rot in Omega just that hour, and it wouldn’t be the last.

Their welcome to the station had been a lot of that. Immediately after arrival, they’d had to fight their way out of the docks. Beth left no bodies there — all Overkill. Then, they had to exterminate a bit of a pest problem — a Vorcha and Batarian band out for vengeance for Elysium, Aria felt. The few shots they got off before being burned out by Mary’s faith-turned-lasers didn’t even begin to accomplish that goal.

Aria wasn’t really bothered by it all. It felt surprisingly good to be recognized, even if half the galaxy seemed out for them. For orphans so used to being ignored, special attention of any kind was a welcome change of pace.

If the opposition they met was more of a threat — any threat at all — maybe Aria would’ve minded. They very much weren’t, though. Not to Sean’s magic, gifted to his Angels and still wielded even more effectively for himself.

He’d made them the top dogs of the galaxy, straight from the very bottom, and no one quite knew what to do with them yet. Aria couldn’t help but grin when she thought about how far they’d risen already.

Aria rode through the chaotic streets of Omega on the shoulder of one of the mech-golems Sean had raised for her to Inferface with. She’d named him George. Nothing the underworld space station might bring to bear could touch her on George’s shoulder. She still kept her magical sense open, feeling everything around them. Such as-…

“-Wait, wait!” An Asari called out in panic.

“Hmm?” Ama looked up.

She’d pinned the Asari to the wall without even realizing it. Metallic magic, shaped to her will, held the maiden by the throat. She was squirming against the Symbiote’s grip and seemed to be discovering something about herself as she tried and failed to escape, if the rising look in her eyes was anything to go by. Aria smothered her smile; Ama hadn’t even realized she was enlightening the lucky maiden.

“A-Aria T’Loak has called for your presence,” The Asari Maiden half-whimpered, half-moaned.

“‘Bout time,” Beth huffed and rolled her eyes. “If she left us to the small fries any longer, I would’ve gone straight to her.”

Ama nodded, and let the Asari down (much to her whining disappointment, Aria noted), “I see. Well, thanks for passing along the message. Sorry about the almost strangling you thing. We’re a bit twitchy at the moment, as you can see.”

“N-No need to apologize-!” The maiden exclaimed in a hurry.

Sean smirked at her, and Aria giggled. Ama cocked her head in reply, raising a questioning eyebrow.

“15 minutes on Omega, and you’re already getting yourself a fan club,” Sean teased.

“She’s going to follow us like a duckling,” Aria added. “I can feel it.”

“What’s your name, messenger?” Ama asked.

“P-Pio’mla, my lady,” The maiden answered.

Ama smiled at her, “Lead the way, then, Pio’mla. We’ll be right behind you.”

“Hnn~!”

Pio’mla led them, just as Ama requested. She kept looking back at them — at Ama. Aria knew why (she could feel the maiden’s infatuation already), but Ama seemed slightly confused by the recurring glances. Even confused, though, Ama still gave Pio’mla a reassuring smile each time their eyes met. It only made things worse for the maiden.

“This is-… So, so, so cool~!” Lucillia squealed as they walked. “Look at us, getting an invite to the center of this wretched hive of scum and villainy! It’s a proper adventure campaign!”

“We’re moving up in the galaxy, that’s for sure,” Sean nodded. “Of course, there’s a good chance T’Loak invited us into her place of power with malicious intent.”

Mary agreed, “Everyone wishes to get a piece of us, from what we saw on the extranet during the journey here. There is good reason to be wary.”

“Let’s give them a chance, at least,” Ama said. “Pio’mla doesn’t seem so bad.”

Aria giggled at that, sharing a knowing look with Sean, “Not so bad, she says.”

He shook his head right back, “Heh, not so bad…”

T’Loak’s protection seemed to do wonders on Omega. No one who set foot on the station seemed willing to cross her, not even for whatever bounties were on their heads. They were led to the Queen’s domain without incident. Quite a few omnitools were trying to record them, Aria felt, but a quick word to Lucillia and a bit of cooperation between her Interface and Lucillia’s Codecast Pseudo-Phantasm meant they got nothing for their efforts.

They came to the Afterlife, and all of them, even Sean, found themselves looking around in awe and interest. It was like nothing they’d ever seen — all neon lights and sex and crime. Asari maidens danced on staged displays, aliens of every stripe went about black business, and a constant thrum seemed to inspire wickedness in the soul.

Pio’mla led them to a VIP section — a whole private floor overlooking the rest of the Afterlife. She stopped anxiously before entering the Pirate Queen’s not-so-proverbial throne room.

“C-Can I get your contact info…?” Pio’mla asked Ama.

Ama didn’t even stop to blink, passing the info along with just a thought and a smile, “Always happy to make new friends. See you around, Pio’mla?”

Stunned, Pio’mla stared after Ama as she brushed past the maiden, sucking in a breath as metallic skin touched hers.

Within, Aria immediately saw that T’Loak’s domain was a lesson in luxury and projected power. There were trophies on display from all over the galaxy, from historical artifacts to even an Asari Justicar. Aria was curious how the latter had ended up with the Pirate Queen; it must’ve been an interesting story.

She didn’t have much time to take in the not-so-proverbial throne room, though; the Pirate Queen of Omega was someone who demanded attention.

“Since you set foot on Omega, you have been in my sights,” T’Loak began dramatically. “All the stars in the galaxy, and the talk of the day ended up at mine. I’m not surprised-”

“So? What do you want?” Beth snapped, cutting through T’Loak’s theatrics.

T’Loak glared at her, and her immediate guards took a readying step forward. Ama returned the favor, just her. She stared down the Turian, Krogan, and Justicar in the room beside T’Loak. She said she wanted to give them a chance, but if they were going to threaten the creche, Aria knew Ama would eliminate that threat with prejudice.

“I want to know what you are, maiden,” T’Loak spat. “Rumors are flying, and even to one of my means, it’s become impossible to know the truth. I know the Alliance is looking for you and yours — odd considering you should’ve fallen right into their hands. I know the Salarians are all fussed up about something you did — even more so than usual. I know the Turians don’t give a single damn, dismissing all the rumors as fairytales, and I know that my maidens won’t stop chattering about… flowers.

“And now, since you are here — in my domain — I seek the truth. What are you, what have you done, and what can you do for me, Queen of Omega?”

Sean shrugged, “We’re just the orphans that stepped up.”

T’Loak’s eyes narrowed, “According to several of the rumors, that ‘stepping up’ means single-handedly annihilating a Batarian blitz upon a human world.”

Ama followed Sean’s lead, shrugging as well, “It happens.”

“It doesn’t,” T’Loak hissed.

“Clearly, something did,” Aria pointed out.

“And I will ask you only once more,” T’Loak glared back. “What?”

“Magic,” Sean said, honest as ever.

“Do not disrespect me, maid-…” T’Loak stopped and corrected herself. “Boy.”

Whether she called Sean ‘maiden’ or ‘boy’, Aria couldn’t help but find both funny. They already knew Sean had lived more lives than T’Loak could comprehend, as difficult as it was for them to believe it, too.

Sean rolled his eyes. “If you aren’t going to take my answer, why even ask?”

“… Fine, ‘magic’,” T’Loak scoffed. “Claim what you will. I shall keep myself grounded in reality. And that reality, much to your detriment, is that you are wanted. Maybe not for crime, but wanted still. And while you are on Omega, you potentially bring that heat down upon me as well. Do not expect me to protect you… unless-”

“It’ll cost you,” Ama interrupted. “Taking us ‘under your protection’, I mean.”

T’Loak looked offended by the very thought, “Cost me? After I offer you Omega as a shield?”

“We don’t need it. Don’t want it, either,” Beth grinned. “But give those rumors a few more days to spread, and plenty of people will want us. We hold all the cards, Miss Purple, and you don’t even realize it yet.”

Ama shrugged, “Yeah, Caine’s Angels don’t need your protection. We’re willing to work for proper pay, though. If you want the chance to figure us out, I’m afraid you’ll have to sweeten the pot.”

“If not, we’ll shop around for someone who appreciates us and be on our way,” Sean said.

The justicar at T’Loak’s side spoke up with a hum, “Considering what I’ve heard, I may be interested in that offer.”

T’Loak spun to stare at her in shock, “Remali?!”

Remali simply shook her head, “Apologies, Mistress, but I am curious.”

Lucillia, fiddling with her magically tuned omnitool, interrupted next, grinning, “Done~…”

“What?” T’Loak spun again. “What have you done, maiden?!”

“Oh, you know, just posted a little resume for Caine’s Angels all over Omega, complete with proof of power,” Lucillia buffed her nails on her chest. “I wanted people to know we’re available to hire. They know where to find us now, too.”

“You would be so bold-?!” T’Loak hissed.

Shouts rose from the bar below. Aria could already feel the chaos mounting. Pio’mla’s voice called from the entrance of T’Loak’s throne room.

“M-Mistress?! W-We have a problem-!”

Calmly meeting T’Loak’s eyes, Ama said, “Looks like Omega has a bidding war on its hands.”

IIIII

— Sean Caine —

“Oh, that must have been eventful,” Ganthet reacted to the start of the bidding war in the mirror.

“¯\༼ ି ~ ି ༽/¯” Cass shrugged. ‘When you’re the hottest commodity on the market, you’ve gotta strut your stuff. Simple as.’

Jason sighed, “Yeah, I can see how that would spark a literal bidding war.”

Shaking my head with amusement, “Lucillia had openly posted a video of Elysium’s Flower-Fall. After that, it wasn’t just rumors spinning around us. So yeah, the rest of our first visit to Omega was… eventful.”

The mirror shifted, showing war through space station streets as pirate captains, warband chieftains, mercenary personalities, and special operatives raced to be the first to present Caine’s Angels with an offer of employment.

“Kinda seems like a bad idea,” Alice said.

“Keeps things interesting, but yeah, it’s like you wanted to collect on those bounties yourself,” Elaine added.

“I think the chance of being trapped in a contract or by general bad actors is rather lessened when you’re the only ones in the galaxy with magic,” Didi argued, amused.

Destruction nodded in agreement, “When you’re going to have the whole galaxy focused on you no matter what you do, it’s practically your duty to tempt fate and try to get away with it.”

Delirium ‘whispered’ conspiratorially, “It keeps things interesting for Big Bro Destiny~…”

“I-…” Savage turned thoughtful. “I shall keep that in mind.”

“I’m pretty sure Lucillia just wanted to spice things up, though,” I chuckled. “And piss the Pirate Queen of Omega off something fierce.”

“I would be fuming, too,” Blackfire muttered darkly. “Come into my home and start a war — why don’t you? See what happens…”

Raven rolled her eyes, “Like she didn’t have a bit of comeuppance coming her way. Shit happens when you get too used to getting your way.”

“Oh, definitely,” Kara nodded in agreement. “You can’t rule an underworld space station and then start complaining when what’s essentially a gang war breaks out.”

“Who did you end up working for, anyway?” Kyle asked.

I chuckled, “That Justicar, actually. All the other offers either wanted us to do something illegal and immoral with overwhelming magical force — no surprise there — or were obvious spec ops fronts that would end up trying to disappear us for study.

“Remali was with Aria T’Loak for a ‘lesser of two evils’ situation — surprisingly flexible for an Asari Justicar. She needed certain underworld connections for information and support, and T’Loak made her work for it. Caine’s Angels offered her a better alternative.

“See, she was on the case of a serial string of disappearances, and had discovered a whole cabal behind them that she couldn’t take on alone. The cabal was stealing Asari maidens into slavery — not uncommon, but the scale was. For obvious reasons, the Justicar’s mission was much more agreeable for our first gig than being covertly disappeared ourselves or ‘helping’ pirates raid a civilian population.”

“Quite literally rescuing innocent maidens from slavery,” Raven deadpanned.

“As you DO!” Savage declared, grinning from ear to ear.

Soranik chuckled darkly, “I’m sure the covetous powers that be loved that you were putting magic to good use for the downtrodden instead of giving it to them so they could further oppress those same downtrodden masses.”

Kyle winced, “Cynical… but probably not wrong.”

“That first mission went well,” I narrated. “It was the real start of Caine’s Angels, and from there, we were always in demand. We traveled the stars, solving problems for good money or good causes. I like to think we changed lives for the better-…”

IIIII

— Citadel Chatroom 067 (Commonly Referred to as ‘The Maiden Room’) —

Username: Omni-Vibe

Omni-Vibe: Oh. My. Stars! Maidens, it’s soooooo good to be back!

HumanLicker6and9 (DM for RP): You’re back! Omni, we thought you were dead! What happened, what happened?

MaidensRuleMatriarchsDrool: @ Omni-Vibe - You weren’t just melding your azure violet?

Omni-Vibe: Wha-? No! You won’t freakin’ believe this, but I was maiden-napped!

MaidensRuleMatriarchsDrool: You sure? No shame or judgment here. You don’t have to lie to us with a name like yours.

HumanLicker6and9 (DM for RP): Maiden-napped?! Oh, no! Are you okay? Was it… the good kind of maiden-napping?

BioticsandBitches: C’mon, let’s at least give her the benefit of the doubt, maidens.

MaidensRuleMatriarchsDrool: I’m just saying, she’s disappeared like that before. Sure, this time was a bit longer than usual — impressive solo-meld-sesh, even for Omni — but I wouldn’t be surprised if she just lost track of time with that nifty little tool she’s always bragging about.

Omni-Vibe: Don’t bring my masterpiece into this! I’ve missed its holographic vibrations for long enough as it is!

Azurothe: Stay focused, Omni; don’t rise to her bait. Maiden-napped? That’s one hell of a claim.

Omni-Vibe: It’s true, I swear! I was dancing, as you do, when the whole club got raided by these… I don’t know who they really were, but there were Turians and Batarians galore! And there was this human male leading them! They shut down the whole club and spirited us away into their wicked captivity!

Bird-Brained: Big, strong, male Turians, you say? Luuuuuckkyyy~…

HumanLicker6and9 (DM for RP): … Human?

MarkedAzure: Not the good kind for either, I don’t think, if they’re in the maiden-napping business.

Omni-Vibe: I thought they were, at first. Ya know, a fun little adventure in slavery to get the biotics pumping. But the Turians weren’t at all interested in fun, and I wouldn’t want a Batarian if they were thrown at me.

HumanLicker6and9 (DM for RP): What about the human? That’s the important one!

Omni-Vibe: Sorry, maiden, he was one of the ‘ugly bastard’ types.

HumanLicker6and9 (DM for RP): … I can still work with that.

NeonBlue: Not all of us are as open-minded about human variety as you are, Licker. They come in all kinds of shapes and shades, and personally, I only like the pretty ones. I’d be in Hell, especially with the Batarians there as well.

Omni-Vibe: So true. Like, it wasn’t the fun adventure I thought at first at all! They weren’t stealing the club’s maidens away to be ravished!

IWishIWasRed: Uncultured swine.

Omni-Vibe: It was all so dirty and disorganized. They gave Maiva scars, maidens! Scars! I really thought it was the end for me, that I’d be passed around — and not in the fun way — until I reached Matronhood! And there were thousands of us!

BHCMaiden: Thousands? How have we not heard of this? It sounds like a whole maiden-napping ring or something!

Omni-Vibe: They kept us locked up tight, and they didn’t even touch us — something about ‘wanting to preserve the product’ or whatever! It was as boring as it was terrible, maidens! 0 out of 10, wouldn’t be enslaved again.

NeonBlue: How’d you get free, then?

Omni-Vibe: Oh, oh, that’s the best part! It was just another day in boring, unfun, gray-scale hell, and then-! The station they were keeping us on shook like it’d been shot! And I knew something interesting was up, ‘cause there were flowers instead of shrapnel!

HumanLicker6and9 (DM for RP): Flowers? You’re sure?

MaidensRuleMatriarchsDrool: Heh, looks like your latest fixation played a role, Licker.

Omni-Vibe: Oh, you maidens know Caine’s Angels? You know Seany-baby?

HumanLicker6and9 (DM for RP): Hng! She’s on a pet-name basis with him!

IWishIWasRed: Lucky maiden.

NeonBlue: I guess you wouldn’t have seen their debut if you were maiden-napped, yeah. Everyone’s been talking about Caine’s Angels and those flowers.

HumanLicker6and9 (DM for RP): They’re the best thing I’ve EVER frickin’ seen! Like, oh my azure! Mr. Tall, Dark, and Mysterious, and his harem of angels…?! I always knew humans were properly cultured, but even by my standards — Azure!

Omni-Vibe: Heh, yeah, they came in swinging with a Justicar at their side. All the maidens swooned, even the one who wouldn’t stop talking about history or whatever.

T’ProtheanBait: I did not swoon.

Omni-Vibe: You totally did.

T’ProtheanBait: Did not.

Omni-Vibe: Did too, and I don’t blame you, maiden!

T’ProtheanBait: Irrelevant. I was just fascinated by Sean’s magic. That’s all there was to it.

IWishIWasRed: Magic? Humans have magic?

T’ProtheanBait: They do now… Or at least, six of them do.

MaidensRuleMatriarchsDrool: That’s impossible.

T’ProtheanBait: That is exactly what I said. Trust that I did not just take him at his word for it. But there’s really no other explanation once you see it in action.

Omni-Vibe: Lololol! She was all up on him about it after they saved us! The rest of us actually got angry about it, ‘cause we thought she was trying to steal a meld!

T’ProtheanBait: I was just curious. Academically curious, yes.

NeonBlue: How does magic even work? I know some humans have started turning up biotic; it wasn’t that? 

Omni-Vibe: Nopity-nope~! He told us it was magic, and how he used it to make his Angels angels, too! Said he learned it in a past life or something (I didn’t even know humans could do that — how nova!)

T’ProtheanBait: Speaking of, do any of you maidens know who ‘Merlin’ is? Sean mentioned the name a bunch when he was talking about his ‘past life’.

HumanLicker6and9 (DM for RP): It sounds like a human name. I’ll ask around with my… contacts. However it happened, though, we’re happy to have you back, Omni.

Omni-Vibe: And I’m happy to be back! Now, maidens, I need your help. How do you thank Tall, Dark, and Mysterious human saviors? Oh, how do you thank angels, too?

IIIII

“(º﹃º)” Cass reacted to the chatroom scene in the mirror with wide, eager eyes. ‘Thirsty blue maidens! Need!’

Kara smiled softly, “Yeah, it certainly sounds like you changed their lives for the better. Rescuing innocent maidens from slavery will always be a good cause.”

“Changed their lives by awakening something in every maiden-in-distress, maybe,” Raven deadpanned.

“’Tis shameful,” Savage shook his head. “That an ‘ugly bastard’ of a human would lead such a slavery cabal.”

“Stereotypical, too,” Klarion added.

“Ew,” Alice’s nose screwed up in disgust.

Elaine poked her, “And how would you know the stereotype he’s referring to?”

Alice sputtered, “H-How would you?!”

“I have the Devil for an uncle,” Elaine deadpanned.

Chuckling at the banter, I continued, “We dodged all of the inevitable attempts to secure magic from the various factions of the galaxy-…”

IIIII

— STG Internal Communication —

Concerning Sur’Kesh Anomaly Acquisition Attempt (S-3A: Mission Summary); Official Report to Follow.

Result:

Complete Mission Failure; several assets burned in the process; operatives revealed but returned without damage. Collateral minimal.

Noteworthy Details:

Chemical suppressants appear to be ineffective against the Anomalies, including more direct administration (STG-v7 Tranquilizer Darts failed as readily as methods for inhalation and ingestion).

Anomalies maintained a polite demeanor even after being waylaid by the task force’s attempts, even remaining to complete their contract on Sur’Kesh.

Operatives, upon being revealed and captured by the Anomalies, report hospitality, including a casual invitation for refreshments and conversation. Agent S-3A-06 reports that the Chief Anomaly brews Sur’Keshi tea well, and that he would not have been worried about introducing the Anomalies to his clan’s Dalatrass.

One (1) counter-operating STG cell (Task Force 8M, known allegiance to Dalatrass Ysmati) attempted to interfere. Task Force S-3A made the opposing affiliations clear to the Anomalies. 8-YM entered in force, set on violence. The Anomalies handled them without — as the humans would say — ‘breaking a sweat’.

The abilities of the six (6) Anomalies seemed varied in their impossibility, but five (5) follow discernable patterns.

Anomaly L manipulates technology and code more effectively than the Geth; all of Task Force 3-SA’s omnitools should be considered compromised.

Anomaly A-M boasts impossibly shape-shifting armor upon her skin, capable of taking the form and function of any weapon in both melee and at range, cloaking her from all sight and sensors, and tanking the combined and coordinated fire of Task Force 8-YM without evidence of damage.

Anomaly M has surpassed all of the Union’s development in the field of lasers without any assistance but ‘faith’; Agents also reported non-malicious mental contamination during her prayers (Agent S-3A-02, my second, has expressed a desire to convert to Human Christianity; this Agent cannot say he blames him after seeing such proof of concept).

Anomaly B showcased the ability to make a standard-STG-issue Scorpion pistol (borrowed from Agent S-3A-06) output far more damage than is reasonable (Agent S-3A-06 reports thinking he was standing next to a frigate’s main gun as it fired) while somehow directing that damage onto only the targets she chose.

Anomaly A-R demonstrated unreasonable intelligence-gathering capabilities, ‘feeling’ the attack mounted by Task Force 8-YM before it arrived and consistently knowing more than she should for a first-time visitor to Sur’Kesh (she ordered this Agent’s favorite tea during the Anomalies’ extension of hospitality; this Agent did not reveal that information to her beforehand).

Chief Anomaly SC is an anomaly amongst anomalies; his abilities follow no set pattern but… flowers that accomplish all he sets his mind to.

Note: Flowers can be strangely traumatizing.

In all, this Agent’s conclusion is simple. It is magic, more potent and real than any legend claimed by the Dalatrasses of ancient Sur’Kesh. This Agent can call it nothing else.

Recommended Retaliation for Mission Failure: Don’t.

-Agent S-3A-01

IIIII

— Cerberus Internal Communication, Posted to the Extranet in the Lucillia’s Leak —

[REDACT-]

[Redaction Cleared (This capital-L Loser calls himself the Illusive Man lolol; his name’s Jack Harper and he watches Asari Matron dominatrix porn in his free time. - L~XOXO]

Jack Harper: How hard it is to get your hands on FUCKING ORPHANS-?!

IIIII

I finished with a grin, “And made plenty of galactic headlines.”

IIIII

— Citadel News Network —

‘Elysium: A Paradise Preserved, and How.’

‘“Abominations!” Batarian Officials Declare; Calls for Sanctions Upon Humanity Fall on Deaf Ears After the Failed Blitz of Elysium.’

‘A Crumbling Cabal of Chains! Innocent Asari Maidens Thank Their Saviors for Impossible Feats!’

‘Caine’s Angels: Unheard-of Biotics or Something Else?’

‘Interest in Human History on the Rise: Here’s What You Should Know About the Fantastical Human Hero Named Merlin.’

‘Enthusiastic Riots Overtake Thessia During a Magical Visit; Maidens Flock to the Spaceport, Hoping to Woo Caine’s Angels for Themselves!’

‘The Citadel Council Continues to Deny Any Claim of ‘Magic’; In Other News, the Galaxy Continues to Follow the Exciting Exploits of Caine’s Angels Across the Stars!’

‘“We Genuinely Have No Explanation,” A Slip of the Tongue by Alliance Official Sets Even More Tongues Wagging!’

‘Flowers Upon Crests: A Fashionable New Trend Amongst Maidens Meets Matriarch Disapproval, Only Furthering its Popularity.’

’Terminus Pirates Cower as Angels Sweep Through Their Neighborhood of the Stars.’

‘Contracted by the Quarian Migrant Fleet, Caine’s Angels Escort a Fact-Finding Team to Rannoch; A Startling Result! Read Now Before the Admiralty Board Can Cover-! [Editorial Notice: We Here at Citadel Central Programming Apologize…]’

‘“Magic and Rebellious Artificial Intelligence: Can There Be a More Terrifying Combination?” Experts Ask.’

‘“Believe Their Claims of Magic or Not, The Results Speak for Themselves! Our Soldiers Needed the Support; I Will Not Be Censured By Any But the Primarch on Palaven!” Turian Commander Defends His Decision to Contract Caine’s Angels.’

’”Still Genuinely No Idea How it Works, but We Can Recreate it. [Sean Caine] Has Done a Great Service to Humanity With This Medical Magic,” Alliance Official Retreads an Old Slip of the Tongue to Reveal Humanity’s First Step Into Magic.’

‘A Rare Magical Interview: Sean Caine and His Angels Speak on Elysium, Magic, Past Lives, and Adventurous Anecdotes For the First Time.’

‘Hell is Falling Upon the Self-Proclaimed Guard Dog! Human Extremist Group ‘Cerberus’ Exposed in Massive Extranet Leak; A Member of Caine’s Angels Proudly Claims Credit.’

‘Rogue Geth — Dubbed by the Rest of the Geth Collective as ‘Heretics’ — Fall Upon the Human Colony of Eden Prime-…’

IIIII

— Sean Caine —

“Okay,” Jason laughed as the mirror scrolled through more than a dozen galactic headlines from that life. “That’s fun. I really wish I could read all of those stories.”

“It is like the montaging, but with words and titles!” Kori gasped with excitement.

Didi nodded in agreement, “It does give a certain immersive level of context to that galaxy you lived in, Sean.”

“[D A T A~…]” Simmy drooled.

“I might be able to re-create the news stories with Destruction’s help,” I offered.

“Mew!” Mew flitted over to his Endless buddy’s side, tugging on his hand and looking up with pleading Póke-creature eyes.

“Ah! No need for that, my friend!” Destruction laughed. “It’s no strain on my end. Consider it done.”

He waved his hand, and with Endless might, a stack of almost comically old-school newspapers appeared on the bar. Jason, Mew, and Simmy practically dove for them.

Chuckling nostalgically, I moved to wrap up my story for now, “It was a rather full life. More than enough for half a dozen more storytimes, so I won’t spoil all of those adventures; I can spoil the ending, though. After a life of adventure and audacity, Caine’s Angels retired back to Elysium, founding an orphanage of our own there.”

Didi smiled, “A fitting end, just as it began.”

“What about the Reapers, Dad? Ya know, that Cycle-ending threat you started this story with?” Alice snarked.

“Oh, they definitely came calling,” I nodded. “It’s one of those adventures that could be a story unto itself. Hell, it’d be better as a trilogy of movies. My Angels and I weren’t really the protagonists there, though; as I said, that was Shepard’s story.”

“You can’t just say that and leave us hanging!” Alice groaned. “Make the damn movies, Dad!”

“Mirror movie night,” Raven deadpanned in agreement.

“I’ll stick around and watch,” Kara smiled. “I liked what I saw of Shepard earlier.”

“m(- -)m” Cass nodded stoically. ‘And so, the audience has spoken.’

“That’s… quite the hoop to jump through on demand, even for me, but I suppose-” I started to sigh in defeat.

“There are others who are just as capable of telling your stories, Sean,” Didi soothed and offered. “Let us handle directing this movie; I’ll pull all I need from your memories, and I’m sure the rest of my family will help after you made the effort of entertaining us all on your own…”

Didi stared at the other Aspected beings in the bar with a pointed look.

Lucifer smirked, “Oh, fine, I suppose. It’ll be an interesting challenge, and a creative use of power: directing the movies of such a distant slice of Creation. Elaine could sorely use the practice as well.”

“I-!” Elaine started to protest, only to stop herself. “Huh. That does sound kinda fun, Uncle Luci.”

Destruction gave an earnest smile, “I am always interested in creating, and I can’t say I’ve created anything like this before. I do think I’ll need a little help with the direction, though.”

“Oh, me! Take HEART, Director Del is on the case!” Delirium chimed.

Michael laughed softly, “Any one of us would have the task well in hand, but it’s a rare occasion that we can all cooperate like this.”

For once in the Dead End, I was able to sit back and watch as others told my stories. It was a novel experience, but I liked it. Didi, Destruction, Delirium, Lucifer, and Elaine set about recreating Shepard’s War on the Reapers, and…

A thought struck me. With this much Aspected help on hand, there was another story that could use recreating. But it wouldn’t be right to recreate that story in detail without the other half of it to help me tell it, even more of an Angel to put all my Magi-Effect girls.

“Actually,” I said. “Michael, before you join them, I could use your help with something else…”

IIIII

— Gabriel, Might of God —

“Michael, Michael!” Gabriel barged straight into her brother’s section of the Sixth Heaven, only to stop short at what she saw there.

“Mich-ael-s…?” She cocked her head in confusion.

Surely enough, Michael was sitting on his throne as she’d expected to find. But there was another Michael standing across from him. Two Michaels…?

“Gabriel-” Michael began.

“Dear Father-” Other Michael stared at her.

“Oh, I know this trope!” Gabriel exclaimed. “The mortals love it! Doppelgangers! Quick, Michaels, who’s my favoritest person in Father’s Creation? Only the non-evil Michael would know tha-!”

“Cain,” Michael deadpanned.

“Caine, a-ahem,” Other Michael cleared his throat at the same time, “Caine asked a favor of me-…”

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~?!”

Gabriel’s surprised shout was heard across every pantheon in Father’s Creation, through the half-empty Dimensional Gap — where Great Red now flew alone, already abandoned by Infinite Silence — and at the end of the world — where the Beast of Apocalypse, sealed forevermore by the sacrifice of Humanity’s First Evil, recoiled in horror at the mere concept of the letter ‘C’.

Gabriel, of course, had no care in mind for those other pantheons, or the hypocritically lonely Great Red, or even the Beast sealed forevermore; she focused the entirety of her being upon Other Michael and the sudden hope for a path to her lost husband.

Gabriel — earnestly girded in all the Might of God for the first time in centuries, in case… convincing was needed — issued a single command to her Other brother.

“TAKE. ME. TO. HIM.”

IIIII

[AN: Heh. Aren’t you all glad I didn’t leave you on the cliffhanger of Sean just asking Michael for a favor?

So yeah, that’s where I’m taking the story next. The Mass Effect movies are going to be an off-screen affair, and we’ll be getting the Archangel Wife x First Evil Husband reunion to start next chapter. I don’t think Gabriel would accept anything else lol. Then, for the storytime, I’m planning to go into much more detail about DxD’s Great War. Definitely looking forward to this one :]