Dead End 2: Deathly Di-Di-Doo Ch.17 (Patreon)

[Alice in CultishLand]

— Black Alice, Daughter of Death and Reincarnation —

Alice had never felt so relieved to see a sunrise.

Her night, hers and Elaine’s… It’d been more than enough to keep them busy and out of the house. It was wild, Alice thought, that all of this had come from chance and fate due to her wanting to avoid the fluff back home.

After a pain-partying cult, a bloody murder cult, a God-damned Knights Templar offshoot cult, and a rich-bastard secret society cult, though, she was certainly looking forward to putting all of it behind her.

Surely, it wouldn’t follow her after tonight…

Yeah, Alice nodded to herself. Why would they keep it up? She wasn’t that convincing, right? Her movement would be a flash in the pan — definitely. Once she got home and in bed, once she closed her eyes, it would all disappear before she woke up again.

The Children of Dionysus didn’t seem like the type to commit to anything larger than a party the next night. The Church of Blood would hate being held accountable, hate being so limited. The Order of St. Dumas was too small and out of fashion to do anything meaningful; they’d fall back on God soon enough. And the Court of Owls, Alice’s last stop of the eventful night…

They must hate her now. She’d had to cull the idiots in charge of that court. Thinking they could ‘harness Death’ — Alice scoffed to herself.

The rich secret-society-goers hadn’t reacted well to her teleporting right into their inner sanctum. They sprang into action as soon as she laid down the Law of Death, namely that Mom ‘WASN’T. THEIRS.’

It hadn’t been much of a fight. Hell, the Order — Father Voivode and his Abaddons — had done most of the violence on Alice’s behalf, proving their offer of swords and shields genuine. Most of the Court of Owls were influential, powerful, and darkly motivated, but they weren’t fighters. They had Talons for that: assassins born and bred by the Court. Their assassins didn’t live up to the Abaddons, though, and they certainly couldn’t rival Alice or Elaine.

Some dozen Talons had rushed Alice as soon as she spoke, acting in defense of their stupid masters. It was over before Alice could finish her reprimanding spiel.

“Of all the brain-DEAD misinterpretations of Death I’ve seen tonight, yours is the worst-!” Alice had taken the Court to task.

The death around her only drove her point home.

Marked but not touched by Death, reborn as supersoldiers, armed and armored as only an ancient militant order could manage — no matter how ruined the Order of St. Dumas currently was — the Abaddons had been unstoppable to the relatively mortal Talons of the Court of Owls.

Abaddon One — a knight-armored woman adorned with roses and crowns of thorns, wielding a bleeding spear — stepped forward to defend Alice. The Talons that attempted to reach her through Abaddon One met bloody ends as the reborn ‘angel’s’ skill matched theirs and her strength, speed, and spear surpassed them.

Abaddon Two — a massive man clad in brutal plate and shifting cloth — became a wrecking ball through the ranks of the Talons. His carving sword cleaved through at least two of the Court’s assassins with each terrible swing.

Abaddon Three — a man only slightly less massive than Two, with speed on his side and a reaping pole-axe to make best use of his reborn abilities — made himself Death’s Scythe incarnate, even if Alice knew that image associated with Mom wasn’t accurate. His pole-axe opened space with each wide swing, and none of the Talons found their way around him.

Abaddon Four — a woman clad beautifully in silver, with a sword to match — raced forward to threaten the Court itself. She didn’t kill any of them, knowing Alice had things to say first, things the rich fools needed to hear. The reborn ‘angel’ looming over them made sure they listened.

In the end, Alice’s final rant of the night had boiled down to ‘Don’t be an idiot about Death, don’t try to control her or use her to your own gain, and don’t EVER think you’re above her’.

When a few of the Court’s members tried to resist and refuse, Alice appeared right in each of their faces with a glare on hers.

“Don’t…” She repeated herself.

Strangely, they did seem to have a certain respect for Death, so to her surprise, they listened. Oh, Alice wasn’t dumb enough to assume they would fall completely in line with that, but the warning seemed to get through their wealthy skulls, at least. It would have to be enough, especially since Alice really didn’t intend to make anything more of her weirdly destined movement tonight.

All she wanted was to correct the idiots who mistook Mom for something she wasn’t!

Once she had, once she was decently sure it would stick, Alice happily took Elaine and ran.

She practically threw herself into her bed back home, not even realizing she’d dragged Elaine along for a sleepover until they were cuddled up together. It was… nice. Innocent, of course. Just something actual cousins would do after an eventful outing.

She remembered Elaine’s whisper beneath the covers. “I’ve never had a cousin.”

She remembered her exhausted reply, too. “Same. But we do now. We’re- We’re gonna do alright togeth-…”

Sleep claimed her before she could finish her thought. She knew Elaine would get the message, though.

IIIII

Alice woke the next night with hope that Dad and Mom and New Mom had settled down somewhat. They had, thankfully. Enough, at least, that Alice didn’t feel the desperate urge to be anywhere else while they fluffed it all up.

After rising and discovering that, Alice prepared for another night at the Dead End. Elaine stuck around. Not like she had anything better to be doing, she claimed. Lucifer could more than handle himself, and Michael was as busy as ever with Heaven.

That night at the Dead End wasn’t likely to be anything special. Just business as usual, really — by whatever definition the Dead End considered ‘usual’.

She was confident that the night before had just been a fluke. The cults she’d… swayed… would find their own ways, corrected in their misinterpretations, but so not Alice’s problem anymore.

And for the night after that eventful night as Mom’s prophet, she was right. The night after that, however…

“It’s like… I don’t know, it varies, as far as I’ve heard,” Alice explained. “Dad’s sometimes reincarnated as a baby and sometimes reincarnated, like, in media res? I don’t know if there’s actually a reason for which one. Maybe Mom, in some form, chooses? Maybe Dad does without realizing? It came out unconsciously, but he kinda really is ‘Reincarnation’… Huh, ya know, I don’t think he’s actually realized that himself yet-”

Elaine, having asked about Dad’s Reincarnation process, cut her off and changed the subject. “Uh, Alice…? Does something seem off to you?”

“In the Dead End? Always,” Alice joked. Still, she looked up to see what Elaine was referring to. When she did, she paused. “Ah, fu- Frick.”

They’d found her.

The cults, the people she’d met and swayed the night before — a selection of unfortunately familiar faces were sitting at various places around the bar, watching her, menacingly…

Well, not ‘menacing’ as in malicious; ‘menacing’ as in the fervor and focus they were looking at her with. Contrary to her confidence, she had not, in fact, put all the prophetizing behind her.

“Nope,” Alice shook her head. “None of that. Cult stuff is so two nights ago. If we don’t acknowledge them, they can’t be real.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works, Alice,” Elaine deadpanned.

“I’ll make it work like that…” Alice grumbled. “Just a bit of reality bending; it’d be simple.”

“You can’t just magic all your problems out of existence,” Elaine pointed out, amused. “Especially not ones you brought onto yourself.”

“I didn’t do anything!” Alice exclaimed. “Absolutely nothing! It was all chance and bad luck and being in the wrong place at the wrong time and you can’t prove anything else!”

“And what did you do when, by chance, you had the bad luck of being in the wrong place at the wrong time?” Elaine asked with a smirk.

“… Told the truth, that’s all,” Alice grumbled.

“And then you stuck your head in the sand like that truth, about Death, from the mouth of her literal daughter who literally knows her, would have no consequences. Didn’t you say you were going to take responsibility?”

“Did you?!” Alice snapped back sharply before deflating. “… Sorry, that was uncalled for. I’m just- There really shouldn’t be anything to this, right?”

She knew she was whining at the end; she couldn’t help it. It’d been so easy to get caught up in the moment. She’d even had fun swaying all the cults to the truth of Mom. But then she got a bit of distance from the eventful night and hoped everything would just go back to normal.

“You can’t expect to open their eyes like that and for them to just close them again,” Elaine reasoned.

“I mean, I didn’t…” Alice looked away. “I just didn’t really want those eyes looking at me, either. Can’t they handle themselves?”

Elaine raised an eyebrow. “Do you want them to? Do you really want the pain-partiers, blood-cultists, religious zealots, and secret society schemers to go off worshipping Aunt Didi without anyone to keep them in check?”

“Oh, Mom…” Alice realized. “Oh, Mom, I really do have to take responsibility!”

“Ah, I knew this day would come. Who’d you get pregnant?”

Dad walked over behind the bar at just… the worst time, with the worst dad joke. Alice groaned. Elaine giggled.

“Four different cults,” Elaine played along. “And they’ve already given birth to a freaky chimeric cult-baby. I’ve had some ideas for ‘baby names’. The Concord of Death, following, of course, Didi’s Creed?”

“Good names,” Dad nodded in approval. Thankfully, he turned more serious and helpful a moment later. “I thought we’d already talked about this, kiddo. Weren’t you already prepared to take responsibility for preaching Didi’s truth?”

“I mean, yeah, but then I got to take a break from it all and my hype kinda… died.” Alice shrugged.

“Fitting, but you’d better get it up and running again,” Dad told her. “You must’ve given a fair few people meaning and purpose by preaching about Didi like that. Expecting them to just give it up the moment you take your eyes off them was never going to happen. The best thing you can do now is lock in and take charge. Otherwise, one of them will inevitably do it and start misinterpreting Death all over again.”

“I wouldn’t trust any of them with a Concord of Mom,” Alice grumbled.

Dad looked at her expectantly. “So are you going to give them the chance? Or are you going to step up — like I know you can, like I know you want to — and build something worthy of following Didi?”

When Dad asked her that, when Mom’s reputation was on the line, how could Alice do anything but rise to the challenge?

IIIII

“Alright, here’s how things are going to be!” Alice declared.

Representatives of the subcults under the brand-new umbrella that was the ‘Concord of Death’ had been gathered before her. She was rather glad Jason — or Mom-forbid, Cass — wasn’t here to see the embarrassing consequences her actions had wrought. Hopefully, she could make them worth something before anyone whose opinion she cared about found out about her… her movement.

Passing her gaze over the four distinct groups, all gathered for the same faith in her and her message, Alice assessed the situation.

The Court of Owls was easily the subcult she had the flimsiest hold over. They were powerful in their own right and only following her out of fear after her show of strength. She’d have to make that fear into proper faith, belief, and purpose if she wanted to make them into contributing members. Otherwise, they’d definitely be causing trouble with their schemes.

On the opposite end, the Order of St. Dumas was likely the one she had the strongest hold on. There were only five of them, and they were zealous before she got to them. Add in their faith in Elaine, too — who was essentially acting as Alice’s prophetic assistant — and Alice didn’t doubt that they would follow her unto Death.

The Children of Death — newly and now officially renamed from the Children of Dionysus — were more ‘go with the flow’ about the whole thing, but Alice was still confident she could keep them in line. They hadn’t had much of a defining philosophy before, content to revel in chaos, so giving them something with meaning, purpose, and not all that many actual rules to follow was all they really needed.

The Church of Blood was… more similar to the Court than the Order or Children. But even then, Alice felt her hold on them was stronger, ‘cause outright killing their former leader seemed to make them strangely eager to follow her. That said, they did have a defining philosophy before her — one built on blood and murder, but still — and turning that to more positive beliefs worthy of Mom might be a challenge.

“I have already taken the liberty of transcribing your commandments, Daughter Death,” Sonya said with a respectful bow of her head, the Church’s new leader interrupting Alice’s train of thought.

“My… what…?” Alice asked.

“THE RULES TO DIE BY, BLACK ALICE, EYEAH~!” Lacoste cackled. “You were laying ‘em down all night!”

Father Voivode nodded. “The Laws of Death, straight from your lips, Messiah. How could we not take notes?”

“We have heard these commandments. We have agreed to them. With your approval, of course, Black Alice.”

The last was said by the Court’s representative — an ever-masked, leading figure called the Judge. Alice didn’t trust the enigmatic bastard one bit. It was clear to her that he’d joined his Court to her cause simply because he didn’t have any other choice. Alice intended to make it work regardless, of course, but if she could help it, she would gladly replace the Judge with someone less mysterious — maybe even someone she could trust.

That would be a process, though; Alice could already see that much. For now, she was stuck with the masked Judge.

“Hold on, I haven’t heard these commandments,” Alice said.

“You sure about that?” Elaine teased at her side. “You were the one to shout them for all to hear~”

“I have recorded all of your words across that fateful night, Daughter Death,” Sonya said. “They will all be included in the scripture, as expansions upon the Commandments. The Commandments of Daughter Death, however, are fivefold and thus: ‘DEATH DOES NOT WISH FOR YOU TO DIE FOR HER’, ‘DEATH DOES NOT CRAVE MURDER’, ‘DEATH IS A FRIEND TO ALL IN THE END’, ‘DO NOT CHEAT DEATH’, and ‘DEATH IS NOT YOURS’.”

“That-” Alice blinked. “I mean, yeah, but…”

“You have objections, Daughter Death?” Sonya asked agreeably. “Make your changes known, and I will enact them.”

“Just one,” Alice hedged. “Mom doesn’t crave murder, yeah, but she doesn’t damn it, either. That one should really be ‘DEATH DOES NOT CRAVE MURDER IN HER NAME’.”

“I will alter it so.” Sonya nodded.

“Other than that, though, they’re accurate,” Alice said. “Just… do we even need ‘scripture’?”

Sonya gasped. “Oh, certainly!”

“NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT~!” Lacoste shouted.

“Your word shall be our Law of Death, Messiah,” Voivode agreed and explained. “We must have something to follow.”

Noticeably, the Judge stayed silent. As the last to join, and the least willing, he would likely react more than act until he had a better feel for the… everything Alice was now taking responsibility for.

“If they don’t, there won’t be anything holding them together. They need this, Alice. The Concord needs this,” Elaine counseled.

“CONCORD~?” Lacoste asked, the eyes across his costume somehow grinning. “I like it!”

Alice sighed. “Right. I guess that’s how things are going to be. Don’t get it twisted, though! I’m not here to micromanage your asses! Just babysit, I guess… Your organizations are still your own. But if you want to follow Mom, follow Death, I’m going to make sure you do it the right way.”

“Those rules will be good to have for that.” Elaine nodded in approval. “Other than that, anything else you want to say?”

“Don’t make me come down on you for breaking the rules,” Alice grumbled with a certain finality in her tone.

If she had to, it’d be the last thing these cultish idiots knew. Still, she knew this mess wouldn’t be so simple. She had four overly eager cults looking to her for guidance as a Didi-damned prophet. Someone would inevitably catch the ‘idiot ball’, as Dad called it, while trying to please her.

Alice was prepared to let them make those mistakes for themselves. ‘Taking responsibility’ had limits. She wasn’t about to switch up her whole life and devote it to fully founding a religion, no matter how worthy of one Mom was.

By the sound of it, her new followers would do the religion founding for themselves. Scripture — Deathly scripture — Alice shook her head.

She didn’t think it was necessary, but then, she actually knew Mom. It was easy for her to understand what Death really preferred and what she loathed, easy for her to practice what she had preached — natural, even. For anyone else, it likely wasn’t so easy. They were flying blind, treating Death as a guiding star so far away. All they had to go off was the Truth of Death Alice had spoken.

Unless…

“Ah, Hell, do you idiots want to actually meet Mom for yourselves?” Alice asked.

The cultish representatives in front of her all froze at that offer. Between them all, it was like a single breath caught in half a dozen throats. Even with Death staying in Gotham and regularly interacting with its mortal population — at least in the Dead End — Alice didn’t think the cultists who had tried to worship her had realized that.

How, Alice wasn’t sure. They’d come to the Dead End to find her. They were still in the Dead End for this conversation. They could literally see Mom behind the bar.

“She’s right there,” Alice deadpanned, pointing at Mom.

“And she’s really rather friendly,” Elaine added.

“OH, FUCK YEAH~!” Lacoste exclaimed. “I’m gonna get a drink from Death, baby!”

Most eager, most chaotic, most willing to go with the flow, he was the first to jump at Alice’s invitation. He raced up to the bar and practically threw himself into a seat. Mom walked over to him. Lacoste started with chaotic energy. Then, just a few words from Mom had him calming something dramatic.

Still holding their breath, the other cultish leaders watched Lacoste’s change in character. They couldn’t hear what Mom said to him, but Alice could. It was like Mom was including her in that moment of faith as a way of helping her keep up the act of… Death’s Prophet.

“Enjoy Life, my absence, but there’s really no need to rush it,” Mom said. “I’ll be there at the end no matter what. I’ll be there, Lacoste, and I can be Endlessly patient…”

She poured him a drink. Lacoste nodded with an uncharacteristic — eerie, even — serenity in his posture. After he was served, Lacoste simply stood and came back to the rest of them. He took a long pull from his Death-delivered drink, savoring the paradoxical life within.

“HEH, I CAN SEE WHERE YOU GET YOUR CHILL FROM, BLACK ALICE~” Lacoste said. “That was… She was… Just talking to her; it’s enough. Ya really get to know her peace. A friend to all in the end, eyeah.”

This was exactly what her idiot followers needed, Alice realized. Immediately, she encouraged the others to make the ‘pilgrimage’.

“Right, go have a few words with Mom. All of you. If you’re going to follow Death, you should actually talk to her. Get a feel for yourself. I’ve started setting you straight; she’ll make sure it sticks.”

Voivode and his Abaddons were next, approaching the bar more warily. Mom, of course, had words for them. They were private, between the followers, Death, and Alice.

“No more muddling with Me for reborn supersoldiers, please,” Mom told Voivode, smiling gently. “You came this close to Cheating Me, I’m afraid. No, no, I know you didn’t mean to. There was no malice in your Cheating, only misplaced faith. I bear you no ill will; just don’t let it happen again. If you keep your current course, I’m confident you won’t fall as you almost did.”

“Come, let me see your faces,” She said to the Abaddons. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to keep you company in your fleeting deaths. It won’t happen a second time, I swear.”

The Order’s members returned to the rest of the group. Voivode’s head was bowed in thought and prayer. Maybe it was wishful thinking on Alice’s part, but it looked like he’d been… tempered by Death.

The Abaddons had their helmets off at Mom’s request, with contented tears streaking down stoic faces. Alice memorized their features and their reactions, simple men and women who didn’t get the company of Death the first time they tried to meet it. Speaking to Mom had meant so much to them. And that was worth taking responsibility for.

The Judge made the third pilgrimage; Alice watched him the closest. She still wasn’t convinced he was truly ‘faithful’, whatever that word meant in her current mess. Mom still had words for him regardless.

“There’s nothing to use, nothing to harness, nothing more than what your Court’s Talons already wield. I’ll never be yours, but you’ll always be mine. Your final moments, at least. Everyone’s final moments, and their very first. You want to follow Death — I can feel it,” Mom said pointedly. “With the ambitions and methods of your Court, you already do in a way. I just hope, if you’re still open to following my daughter, that you put those ends and means to a more productive use.

“This is her project. I approve, of course, and she has my full protection, too. If she puts her mind to it, this… Concord and Creed could become something interesting, something good for her and good for a great many others. Your Court has the power and influence to help her along that path; I truly hope you do, Eustace.”

Alice muffled a laugh at the enigmatic Judge’s real name. Freaking Eustace… It was such a schemer’s name. Still, if Mom had gotten through to him, having a schemer like that on her side could be beneficial.

The Judge — Eustace — returned to the rest of them, unreadable beneath his owl mask. Then Sonya, almost awkwardly anxious, made the final pilgrimage to Death herself.

Unlike the others, she had a question that preempted Mom’s words for her. “‘O Death… I have spilled so much blood. I have delivered so many souls unto you. I have followed a Demon who wished only to reap death for the sake of it. Could you ever… How could you accept the faith of one such as I?”

“Death happens,” Mom said frankly, shrugging. “I don’t necessarily approve of those who kill or those who take their own lives or even those who slaughter more than their soul could ever weigh, but I don’t damn them for it, either. Homicide, suicide, genocide — even as the causes and scales vary, Death is at the core of all of them. Death is constant. I prefer that people have at least a little respect for it, for me, but even in the worst cases, I accept everyone in the end.”

“And before the end? Will you accept me in life, too, ‘O Death?” Sonya asked.

“I might ask a bit more of you, but even then, only that respect I mentioned. The Commandments you recorded from Alice are good. Follow them, and more than accept, I might even approve,” Mom answered, her eyes twinkling.

Sonya returned to the rest of them after that. All of them seemed better off for having actually met the Death they claimed to follow. Alice found herself thinking there might really be something to all of this, something worthy in a Concord of Death.

Maybe taking responsibility for a bunch of Dead-set Death cultists wouldn’t be so bad-…

IIIII

Over the next few weeks, Alice discovered just how displaced her hope for reasonable followers was.

It really was just one thing-…

“Death parties?!”

“LIFE PARTIES~!” Lacoste shouted back, every eldritch eye on his costume lighting up with chaotic energy. “The death toll was way lower than usual, and entirely coincidental! Who could’ve expected Bane’s boys to roll up and OD on Venom?”

“That-! Fine, I can’t blame you for that, but you’re on thin ice!”

“THEN WATCH ME SKATE THIS SHIT, BLACK ALICE, EYEAH~!” Lacoste laughed. “Hey, you should come down to the next one! My girl Jen got her hands on these freaky-ass fireworks from Scarecrow! They’ll put the fear of Death into anyone!”

“We don’t want people to fear us, you fratboy fuck-!”

After another-

“Oh…” Elaine muttered. “Uh, Alice? You might want to see this.”

Alice looked. Alice stopped. Alice whipped out her phone and dialed Freaking Eustace’s number.

“Why is there a ‘GOT DEATH?’ billboard with Mom’s face on it off Main Street?!”

“We placed it there. It was not easy, I must say. Thankfully, the Court has many connections. We are already seeing results as well. Recruit is up by 13%. Of course, the Children and Church are seeing most of that increase; the former’s standards are pitifully lax, and the latter’s are only slightly better. Our Court has only recruited one Marlan Vanderbilt recently, but then, we do value quality over-…”

“When did we start active recruitment?!”

“… Alice, only the Order has failed to grow the Concord’s cause, and that is by their own choice. Ah, but speaking of — I feel I must raise the question of Father Voivode’s reparations to our Court. His Abaddons sent nearly a dozen of our Talons on to meet your mother, and while they are certainly in good hands, it has left the Court with a lack of claws-…”

“Don’t think I can’t see what you’re doing here.”

“It is a valid point of conflict within the Concord. Should I confront him directly instead of coming to you?”

“… Fine, I’ll talk to him. Maybe you two assassin freaks can cooperate or something.”

After another-

“Daughter Death, we have finished the scripture, Lady Didi’s Creed,” Sonya reported.

Alice took the small booklet presented to her. She didn’t open it, knowing if she did, she’d be reading her own words.

“… Is this wrapped in human skin? Sonya, I swear to Mom-!”

“Mere mimicry, Daughter Death. With the numbers we plan to print, supply would quickly become an issue, even if the Church is willing to bleed for Death.”

“Okay. How about — and I can’t believe I have to suggest this — not using skin or anything that can be mistaken for it?”

“But the gravitas, Daughter Death!”

“It looks really, really freaking cultish, Sonya.”

“I see… And that is not ideal?”

“It’s not. It’s just a bad look in general. The vast majority of people aren’t nearly hardcore enough to even touch a human-skin cover. I know you’ve worked very hard on this, but if you want people to actually read it, maybe try… literally anything else.”

“Aha! I will put my mages to work, then! I’m sure they could industrialize an enchantment that will bleed Death’s truth onto the pages-!”

“Paper and ink! Please, I’m begging you: just paper and ink.”

After another-

“What did I say about murder in Mom’s name?!”

“I must protest, Messiah,” Voivode demurred. “We have murdered none, and especially not in the name of Death. All we have done is assist in the passings of those who crave her company most, those who cannot stand to live for reasons out of their control. See for yourself; we have kept records.”

“… Oh. Assisted suicide is-… damn, that guy had it rough.”

“We have been working hand-in-hand with certified medical professionals. They may do no harm, but our Abaddons can. And we do it for them, those suffering souls, not for Death.”

After another-

“BLACK ALICE, BLACK ALICE~!” Lacoste called out to her. “We bought a nightclub! We’re calling it the Concord, EYEAH!”

“… Dammit, that’s actually really cool.”

“BETTER~! It’s all signed in your name!”

After another-…

“You have a WHAT?!”

“Barbatos. Our Bat-God, Consumer of Universes That Fall to Decay. Is he not an aspect of Death?”

“There’s no way-! … Huh, there might be. I’ll ask Mom.”

After a-…

“It’s all too much.” Alice collapsed with a groan.

“They really have kept us busy.” Elaine nodded in agreement, letting out a hefty sigh.

“They’ll be here any minute…”

“… I don’t think I’m ready.”

They’d come to the Concord, that nightclub Lacoste and the Children had arranged in Alice’s name. It was supposed to be the grand opening. Alice had a feeling the night would be an eventful one on the ground floor. She didn’t really want anything to do with the Children’s usual partying, so thankfully, there was another floor to the Concord — one that she could, quite frankly, hide herself within.

Mom, Dad, and Gabriel had come along to the opening night, leaving the Dead End in Simmy and Ivy’s capable hands, and Harley’s less capable ones for a time.

Part of Alice wanted nothing more than to show off. The rest of her was… exhausted by the escalating events of the past weeks.

Dad, of course, laughed at her plight. “Yeah, it can be like that, especially with cults.”

“You would know,” New Mom — Gabriel — teased.

Mom joined in without hesitation. “Oh, I’m sure he would. And now, so does Alice. She really is her father’s daughter, taking after him when people come running and looking for someone to follow.”

“She even has a nice new lair!” Gabriel giggled. “Does Caine have to worry about your Concord stealing business from the Dead End, Alice?”

Alice just snorted. “As if.”

Elaine just sighed. “I have a feeling the Concord will attract a slightly different customer base. Namely, a more… fervent one.”

Dad just shrugged. “Cults happen. We can hardly expect to control the kooky ideas that spring into people’s heads. Alice went into all of this just looking to correct the fools about you, Didi, but look where she is now. I’m honestly rather proud.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Alice grumbled. “I’m still waiting for the other boot to drop. It’s coming; I can feel it. They’re just going to keep escalating-”

“BLACK ALICE~!” Lacoste called, barging into the private VIP floor above the Concord. “Where do you want the human skulls?!”

“Frickin-! Where did you get human skulls?!” Alice called back. “They’d better not be real!”

“THEY ARE~!” Lacoste cackled. “But don’t worry, they were donated to the Concord!”

“… Fine!” Alice threw her hands up in defeat. “Wherever you think is best, then!”

“I’LL GET MY BOYS AND GIRLS ON THAT~!” Lacoste chuckled, leaving his preparations for the opening night to join them in the Concord’s suite. “Tonight’s gonna be a wild one, but for once, I’m honestly chillin’. What’s up, Black Alice, Mrs. Didi, Mr. Reincarnation, Miss and Mrs. Archangels!”

Grinning, Dad waved back. “Yo. Nice to finally meet you, and all.”

Mom smiled at the chaotic man. “Hello again, Lacoste. Thank you for taking care of Alice, and for driving her half insane.”

“Howdy!” Gabriel exclaimed, beaming a smile.

“Snrk-!” Dad snorted at that. “Howdy, love?”

Gabriel pouted. “I’m trying something new!”

“HOWDY~!” Lacoste laughed. “I like howdy!”

“Messiah, where do you want us?” Another familiar voice intruded upon the private suite — Voivode and his Abaddons. “I can have my Abaddons take up guarding positions-…”

“It’s a nightclub!” Alice exclaimed. “We don’t need reborn angels as gargoyles or whatever!”

“Let them take the night off, Voivode,” Elaine suggested. “We’re thankful for their service, but even the Abaddons need breaks.”

The Order’s leader bowed respectfully. “As you say, Messiahs.”

His Abaddons joined their Bishop a moment later, taking up positions around the room. They didn’t let down their guard and take a break as Alice and Elaine intended them to, but honestly, Alice didn’t even know if they were capable of relaxing anymore.

“Does that apply to my Talons, too?” A third unfortunately familiar voice asked — Eustace appeared from the shadows of the room, as silent as an owl in flight. “If so, we may leave ourselves defenseless at a most opportune time for our enemies.”

“We shouldn’t have any enemies.” Alice turned to him, glaring suspiciously. “Unless you’ve gone and made us some when I wasn’t looking…”

“None new,” Eustace admitted.

“Leave it, then.” Alice waved him off. “Sit down where I can keep an eye on you… Eustace.”

She took some pleasure in watching the Judge of the Court of Owls twitch at his real name.

“Where’s Sonya, then?” Elaine asked. “She’s the only one missing now.”

“Bleeding herself to make a special copy of Didi’s Creed, last I heard,” Eustace said. “I believe she intends to make it a gift to you, Alice.”

“Of course…” Alice sighed. “Well, hopefully it doesn’t keep her for too long. I checked with Mom, by the way. Barbatos is not Death; He-… It is something else entirely.”

Mom nodded to confirm her words. “More a part of the universal cycle of life than anything truly associated with me. He fills the role of a decomposer.”

“… I see,” Eustace muttered. “I shall keep that in mind. The Court will attempt to distance ourselves from his worship in favor of Death, but I would ask that we are not made to give him up entirely.”

“That’s your business.” Alice waved. “Deal with it how you will.”

“Look at you, handling shit,” Dad smirked at her.

Alice rolled her eyes. “I’ve had to learn quickly. I already know it’ll come back to bite me, but I’ll deal with that when it comes.”

A few minutes later, the last leader beneath the umbrella of their Concord came rushing in frantically. Sonya held a single scroll. Alice could feel the blood magic all over it. Because of course she could… Sonya wasted no time presenting her gift.

“You say it is too much for public distribution, Daughter Death, but I quite liked the ideas we talked about the other day. I hope you will accept this gift of scripture; the words bleeding upon it are yours.”

Alice took the bleeding scroll and sighed. “It’s… wonderful, Sonya. You did good work.”

The older woman preened like she was much younger than Alice, just looking for her approval. For a mistress of blood, she was honestly kind of nerdy and adorable. If you could get past all the bloody murder, at least…

She reminded Alice of Jason in some ways. Alice hadn’t seen her crush in a week or so. It’d been a quiet stretch for the Dead End, and for most of it, she was busy dealing with her new followers. Hopefully, he wouldn’t judge her for all of this too harshly-…

A crash from the skylight above interrupted her worries. Speak of the Bat.

The one she was just thinking of descended upon the private suite like a tall, dark, and brutal vision in blood red. Alice definitely didn’t swoon, and her heart definitely didn’t skip.

Not swooning and not skipping was helped by the figure that came in behind Jason. He dropped like a vengeful rock. The second figure slid through the air like a snake — a perverted, loudly silent, gremlin-esque snake.

“( ◣∀◢)” Cass immediately turned on everyone in the room. ‘Halt, evil-doers! Halt, cultists! You dare pervert gentle, beautiful, sex-dorable, gothy-hotty, head-patty, lovably Endless Didi’s name?! I will-!’

“Black Bat,” Jason stopped her short, quicker on the uptake than his partner in crime-fighting.

Where Cass had jumped straight to talking weirdo smack about Alice’s cultish followers, Jason had actually taken a moment to observe his surroundings. Alice didn’t know what conclusion he’d reached before barging in all superhero-y like that, but upon seeing Mom, Dad, Gabriel, Elaine, and Alice, he was clearly reassessing the situation.

“(∵) W o W!” Cass stopped in her tracks as she also saw what Jason saw. ‘Wha-? Hey, hey, it’s a party! Wait, so the cult’s like, for real, for real?’

Alice sighed and rose to face the music (read: Bats with Assumptions). “It’s real. I, uh… well, I’ve kinda started a… Concord in Mom’s name…?”

Jason stared at her, his expression unreadable beneath that pure-red helmet of his.

“It wasn’t on purpose!” Alice quickly defended herself. “Cults just happen sometimes! Ask Dad!”

Infuriatingly calm and smug, Dad waved. “Yo. Howdy. Can confirm. Alice has actually been doing a better job managing it than I ever did.”

“Right…” Jason said slowly. “While I wasn’t expecting to find… this, there have been credible rumors of a ‘Death Cult’, Alice. And from what I’m seeing now, you aren’t surrounding yourself with the most reassuring company. Is your Concord killing people?”

“Only the ones who ask for Death! And the incidental deaths during Lacoste’s parties! And-! Well, I did kinda kill Brother Blood, too… And a few Talons… Crap, can we talk about this?”

“My late husband deserved it. The Church of Blood is better off under Daughter Death,” Sonya spoke up in her defense.

To her surprise, Eustace did as well. “As did we, to be frank, for trying to claim Death. We are working towards a more productive cause now, though still one of Death.”

“ALL MY PARTIES COME WITH WAIVERS~!” Lacoste exclaimed. “They signed!”

“We have put poor souls to their final rest, sending them on to Death’s company. We will continue to do so; ’tis a greater calling than mortal law can proscribe,” Voivode admitted. “If you have questions, I can arrange for you to talk to the doctors and professionals that we work beside while doing so.”

“(o_O)-b” Cass gave a confused thumbs-up. ‘That… all sounds surprisingly chill…? Especially if you’re doing it with Didi’s approval.’

Jason sighed. “Weirder things have happened, especially in Gotham. Alright, Alice. Let’s talk about this.”

The relief she felt was palpable. Alice almost collapsed back into her seat as a weird sort of truce was reached. She hadn’t really been expecting violence, but she was still surprised to realize how much Jason’s willingness to hear her out meant to her. Maybe things wouldn’t turn out so-

“Like father, like daughter,” Dad chuckled. “It could be much worse. At least Alice is only leading them towards the Truth of Death rather than all the Eldritch Knowledge and Maddening Sanity of the uncaring, alien-god-populated cosmos.”

“(シ✦ ‿ ✦)シ” Cass was on him in an instant with excitement and sparkling eyes. ‘Forget talking about this; that sounds like a story~!’

“Black Bat, we should really talk about Alice’s Death Cult-” Jason stressed, trying for reason and responsibility.

“( ˘▽˘)っ♨” Cass dismissed him with a somehow singsong expression. ‘Whatevs~! I’m sure Sean’s storytime will have a lesson or something to satisfy your worries! I already don’t have any. None. Brain Stronk; Brain Empty; Brain Want Sean Story. The chance for private storytime is more important. C’mon, we’re eatin’ good tonight!’

“Oh, you certainly will,” Dad grinned, not at all ominously…

“Because trust me on this, Death is kind compared to the automatic machinations of Blind Idiot Gods and Dreamers and Heraldic Agents that some will follow into fates worse than her. Power unimaginable, forces incomprehensible, and scales utterly apathetic; the cold gears of the cosmos will turn, and turn, and turn.

“And humanity? Humanity is just small enough to be caught between their turning teeth…”