Let's talk about Feminization... specifically about why 'Forced Feminization' as a Role Play fantasy is appealing, common... and (...gasp...) possibly even healthy...

PART ONE: Why are you interested in this?

You don't have to tell me... I already know. But lets pretend you are a complex, multi-faceted man who thinks you are more complicated than everyone else. In other words... let's role-play.

Forced Feminization is different than Feminization. They share a lot of overlap. Of course they do. They both involve feminine outfits, makeup, shoes (of course)... and a desire to look pretty, to feel sexy and to be seen as feminine.

But Forced Feminization is something just a little different.

Feminization is the desire to become feminine. Forced feminization is the fantasy of having your masculinity taken...often with protest...and getting to lean into feelings of submission, objectification, humiliation or degradation (sometimes pieces of this and sometimes all together).

It isn't just about looking sexy... being wanted and desired... that is a byproduct. The root of the fantasy is about control.

Control is what makes the kink work and without that relinquishing of control, for many people the rest of the feminization component does not 'hit' in the same way.

But why?

Control is a weird thing.

The old Wonder Woman comics used to constantly highlight the idea that there is joy in submission... in being captured and helpless. The 'Force' of forced feminization is, of course, not just a male or Sissy fantasy. Women can enjoy being tied up too... but the idea of giving up control (especially in an environment that feels safe) is not only sexy and fun... but also a healthy release of stress.

The 'release' of this submission often comes because of the contrast to day to day responsibilities. Having to be in charge, having to be in control... can be exhausting... and the fantasy (both sexual and just in general) of having that control taken away and being turned into something that will never have to feel that way again... is an understandably strong fantasy.

...and it is more widespread than you might think. I will not bore you with loads and loads of numbers and statistics (do some quick searches if you're interested... it is kind of fascinating), but the stats on the big "sissy-hypno" sites are in the millions. There has been a major surge in 'sissy erotica popularity since 2010...

What puts this into a firmly 'kink' based category is that in most of our current societal norms, men are not supposed to enjoy submission... or feeling soft and feminine... or being treated like a sexual object of desire.

You often can't publicly admit to this fantasy... for so many reasons... loss of relationships, job, friends... which can make this perfectly reasonably desire of wanting to submit and feel sexy and feminine, feel like shame.

A lot of inroads have been made in changing this stigma over the years... but not nearly as many as one would hope, especially in cis-gendered men. While those that are openly transgender face their own battles (of which there are so many...see Part III) cis-gendered men that have this fantasy... or want to explore this fantasy have to compartmentalize it and hide it. In most of society, a MAN is not encouraged, nor allowed, to feel these things.

Which makes it taboo...

Which also makes it kinda hot.

The feminization aspect of the loss of control, adds to this 'forbidden' feeling. You are not supposed to look feminine. You are not supposed to look sexy. You are not supposed to feel aroused because of any of this.

But you do...

...but you're not supposed to...

So you protest...

...which is all the more arousing as that protest is met with more dominance and less and less control.

It can easily begin a Sub-State feedback loop... where each individual component of losing control and becoming something that has less and less control feeds the arousal which makes you lose more control which feeds the arousal and submission...etc...

What makes this interesting is that as arousal grows, the 'shame' of the taboo starts to diminish. Continued arousal grows and grows... shame diminishes and fades until...

But as arousal rapidly diminishes, shame can often inversely increase at the same rate. Hence the 'shame spiral' that often accompanies the aftermath of exploring the forced feminization kink.

I'm sure at least a few of you reading this have experienced this intensely. This is not a one time feeling... this can happen each and every time... it can lead to a binge and purge type of condition where arousal and escalation leads to the purchase of items... (or ahem subscriptions to things like a patreon account)... and then when the shame spiral happens there is a need to purge all evidence of the desire... of the fantasy... of the taboo...

This is normal.

Look at the chart above... this does happen... not just in this fantasy but in many things that we take shame in... but secretly enjoy.

But while surrendering control in a safe environment and indulging in kink fantasy can be a great stress relief, healthy sexual expression and a great deal of fun... you have to be extremely careful not to let the shame side of things overwhelm... because you end up where you started, or worse... with a growing ocean of shame that has nowhere to go.

...and that, my lovelies... is why Locked in Lace exists.

PART TWO: The Mission

Locked in Lace has been around for quite some time... the narrative mission of the site is to convert men into submissive, helpless and feminized Sissies...

From a role playing standpoint 'Forced Feminization' is necessary. Without a conflict, a villain, something to fight against or play against... there's not much of a narrative or a game. It would literally just be people hanging out and trying on clothes... which is fine... but not the most engaging or erotic in the long term.

So the narrative needs the 'forced' aspect.

But Locked in Lace has always had a primary mission above and beyond a silly, sexy little narrative game.

It is a safe space, with a community of people who all have a similar underlying desire and need. It is a place to meet other 'Sissies'... to meet players who find that quality attractive... or who identify with what your fantasy is.

It is not just that you write little stories and narratives... you engage with others who have a shared overlap.

and here's the thing...

...when you have friendships and interactive relationships with people above and beyond the arousal / shame dynamic... it genuinely makes the shame spiral lesser. Community and support and understanding and empathy and friendships HELP. And these are things, in this 'taboo' area... that many, many people can not talk about, discuss or engage in.

When Locked in Lace started there were a handful of communities (often subsets of TG communities). There are many more options now... but the need for these communities is just as important now as it ever was.

Having friends and other players you enjoy playing with to come back to even after the arousal is gone, helps diminish the shame... it helps normalize the fantasy... and it shows you... that you are not alone.

That is the core purpose of Locked in Lace... of the website, the game... this Patreon... and most everything I have done in this genre for the last ((mumbles something)) years.

PART THREE: The Transgender Overlap (the serious discussion)

Are there openly transgender people that like the 'forced' feminization fantasy?

Well, yeah! Obviously...

The feminization aspect is perhaps a little bit less of a taboo... but as I said earlier... the idea of surrendering control... of becoming more of a sex object or desired... of the humiliation fantasy are all things that cross all manner of gender spectrums.

But there is sometimes a tension between the 'Sissy' fantasy and the TG community.

...and yeah...

The TG community took many steps forward in the last few decades... but as of this writing is currently under attack from all sides just for existing in this world.

Where as the Forced Feminization FANTASY is a consensual meta narrative and roleplay... the people participating have the ability to stop... regardless of the narrative, the situation or the experience. Real Life™ persecution for the Transgender community does not have that luxury.

For daring to live and be who they want to be publicly, they are met regularly with the persecution, judgement and yes, violence...

They are not wrong to be concerned that the sexualized nature of cross-dressing and forced submission can add fuel to an already stoked fire.

It is also not a simple right or wrong.

The stigma that the TG community face has an overlap with the fantasy taboo that the 'Sissy' community faces. But...Forced Feminization Erotica conflates cross-dressing-for-arousal in an audience made up of predominantly cisgender men with gender identity questions that have little or nothing to do with sexual arousal at all. This is not something that is always beneficial to the argument and in fact does some harm at times...

I worry tremendously about our TG friends who are bravely being their authentic selves in the face of tremendous aggression, hatred and fear. I encourage, in our community, (and everywhere) an ongoing empathy and conversation between the two groups...

Not all 'Sissies' are transgender... and not all transgender are 'Sissies'. If you're still reading this, I suspect you already know this... and are rolling your eyes. But I have been asked many times from the heavier TG side of our community 'why do you have to use the 'force' aspect? And I have been lectured by the other side many times with the 'why don't they understand that it doesn't work if it's all warm and fuzzy.'

Both of these things are allowed to exist... and intermingling sexual desires with personal identity is a tightrope. I do know that we all are stronger as a community if we understand why both sides exist. A cisgendered man who is a regular interacting in this community has far more empathy towards the transgender plight than one who does not hold these fantasies and feelings. Likewise, openly transgender community members who interact with the 'sissies' who need to surrender control... often get to see sides of a human being that are not shown to anyone else...a side that is also shunned and attacked by society.

We are stronger together... but that only works if we understand that the fantasy of 'submission, objectification, humiliation and degradation' are erotic fantasies in a safe environment... and not something to inflict upon humans that do not have (or want) those fantasies... and standing up to help those that are fighting for their right just to exist outside of our community (be that through your vote, through your words or through your actions) is crucial.

PART FOUR - THE NUANCE OF FANTASY

When we talk about fantasy, especially the 'forced feminization' fantasy... it is tricky because what triggers arousal is just a little bit different for everybody... no one erotic piece of content is going to fire for every person.

...and that's good. That's what makes it fun! Finding the exact right fantasy for someone and having it 'hit', is tremendously satisfying. It can also be incredibly frustrating.

I have created many pieces of content, scenarios, systems and games over the year that I was certain were going to make Sissies squirm and squirt themselves into little sub-state puddles... and instead found it met with a resounding 'meh'.

Likewise, I have released some stuff that I felt was somewhat uninspired only to have it met with a giant audience begging for more.

It is nuanced... it is complicated... and the kinks overlap in weird ways sometimes. Sometimes a specific nuance will hit harder if it's mixed (you got chocolate in my peanut butter) and sometimes a nuance can take people out of the fantasy completely.

Variations are good. These are what make you, you... and it is what makes exploring them fun. There is nothing wrong with wanting to explore things like chastity, humiliation, objectification, degradation...

or... bondage, pegging, bimboification, hypnosis, mind control, crossdressing, lingerie fetish, high heels training, small penis humiliation, cuckolding, slut training, public exposure, verbal humiliation, corporal punishment, spanking...

...someone cut me off... seriously... this list is long.

Long story short... (too late)... there is nothing wrong with you and you are allowed to have preferences and likes and dislikes... of course you are. This is consensual after all.

What you also have to be careful of... is that others may have different likes and dislikes than you in their fantasies... and that's good! We do not want to kink shame on a site dedicated to being a safe community to explore kink.

This gets even more complicated when it comes to the conversation of dominant / submissive interaction... especially with regards to the gender identification of the one doing the dominating.

For most Sissies... a dominant woman is the dream. And yeah... that's because we're awesome.

Being overpowered by a sexy woman, and turned into her feminine play thing lets Sissies live out a role in a little lesbian fiction. And being overpowered by a woman and made feminine and submissive by her, is a definite trigger in this whole 'control' narrative we are talking about.

There are seldom objections to having a sexy, strong Mistress be in charge of feminization...

...but... as I keep saying it is nuanced.

For some Sissies... the idea of male interaction is a bridge too far. It is an immediate turn-off. Book closed. Full Stop.

For others... it is required for the fantasy to 'hit'. Being the objectified and used Sissy, desired by men is a strong trigger as well... but not for everyone...

...and if only it were that easy... because just like gender, there is an entire spectrum of fantasy between.

Sissies dominated by other Sissies?
What about Trans Men? Trans Women?
The gender identity aspect of the dom, makes a difference to Sissy fantasy and complicates dynamics... which has it's own irony, since the fantasy they want is to be seen as female, but often requires specific gender parameters on the other side.

...but not always...

So complicated... and so complex... and it is one of the reasons that one of the core rules of Locked in Lace is the use of constant OOC communication... non roleplay, out of character clarification. These interactions are not only important... they are essential in a community built around safety.

Players that are unable to talk in out of character capacity, or who conflate the Role Play with Real Life can be a danger to the feeling of safety we want our community to uphold... and it is so very important that we all keep this communication at the forefront of our brains as we interact in a fantasy environment.

PART FIVE - TOPPING FROM THE BOTTOM

Because the laundry list of needs and wants and desires from each Sissy can be so complicated, nuanced and particular, there is a trend that sometimes happen when interacting with domianants...

... topping from the bottom... is the phrase most often used to describe it. It has to do with a submissive participant basically controlling every aspect of a scene to the point that the dominant wonders why they are needed.

As you might expect, this can lead to dominant players being less than excited.

The irony here is that the Sissy fantasy is to serve (and worship) the dominant, and yet through the seeking of their own fantasy can push them away.

Here is the super-secret thing that most dominants never say... and most Sissies know but do not always remember.

Dominants have their own nuanced list of kinks and fantasies... and if none of those boxes are being ticked... then the dynamic is a bit broken.

Most dominant players in an RP forced feminization setting are ultimately 'pleasers'. Meaning... they are after GIVING the best experience possible... which when you step back and think about it... is the exact opposite of the role they are playing... Conversely... many Sissy players are searching for their exact fantasy and 'taking'... which again... is the opposite of the character they are playing.

There is nothing wrong with this...

...but it is something to try to remember as you enter into aroused sub-state.

Is the dominant player having a good time? Or are they hitting the Sissy laundry list of needs and wants?

Sissies will often say: "I worship you. I would do anything for you...Let me please you..." but how often do the Sissies Players go out of their way to create a scenario custom built for a Dominant fantasy? It happens... but perhaps not as often as you think.

To complicate this, Sissy players sometimes forget that Dominant players are not professional paid dom(me)s. They are there for fun... to enjoy the same fantasy escape as the Sissy players, but are often treated as a 'free' dom(me) service with the same expectations that one might assume you would get if you were paying for the domination.

Which is quantifiably unfair... and one (but certainly not the only) reason why keeping engaged dominant players on the site is sometimes a challenge.

So... a take away might be... support your local Dom(me)s and communicate. Find out what their fantasies are and make sure you're always giving back.

PART SIX - CONCLUSION

Forced feminization fantasies serve a role. They provide an escape, the ability to explore parts of yourself that are often locked away... and hey... it's kinky fun.

I took the time to write this... because there are many in the community that have made arguments:

• the 'force' aspect is not needed...

• the 'force' aspect is harmful...

• the 'force' aspect is degrading to Real Life women and the trans community...

• the 'force' aspect is what is wrong with everything...

My position is that the 'forced' aspect is important... it is serving the narrative structure of the game, it is serving an emotional need of the player, and it is serving the fantasies of not just the Sissy side of the equation but also the Dominant side.

Locked in Lace has... since the very beginning... had the subtitle: Forced Feminization Fiction. It is the brand identity of the website... of this Patreon... and of the journey you are currently strolling along with me.

The important thing is to make it safe... to make it a community... and to provide a home for those that need it.