Flying Swords, chapter 17 (Patreon)

I’m telling you, I ordered these two to go to bed together. I arranged all the pieces of the plot. I put them in the same damn room. And yet…. sigh. Hopefully the sexual tension is building even if these two are the most stubborn men I’ve written since the last time I tried to get Rodney McKay and John Sheppard to have sex.

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Leander stared in dismay at the quarters they had been given. The three of them had two small bedrooms on one side of a small private sitting room in Heng’s wing of the house. The bedroom that was clearly intended for Shanlin was decorated with statues of fantastical creatures and decorative scrolls with famous aphorisms from Mencias and Confucius. It had a child-sized bed with an elaborately carved wooden canopy, a tall chest and a bookcase made from Xs that contained rolled up scrolls and books set on an angle on the 45 degree shelf.

However, the real dilemma was the second room.

“It’s smaller than I expected,” Xi said, which was a polite way of saying they only had one fucking bed.  It was larger than Shanlin’s. Significantly larger. However, there was one.  Just one.

This was a nightmare.

A large lacquered chest stood across from the doors that led into the courtyard. On one side of the door stood that one bed with the carved canopy and rounded opening. The other side had a small table with a board for Go set into the top and two chairs on either side.  The space between the three pieces of furniture was so small that there wasn’t even room for one of them to sleep on the floor.

“No doubt you expected an American bedroom with room for line dancing in the open space,” Leander snapped even though he felt just as shocked as Xi.  “I’ll call up room service and request a larger suite.”

“Ass,” Xi whispered. Leander didn’t argue. He was being unreasonable, but the room was a shock.  

“I guess families are more willing to share beds here.” Xi glared at the bed like it had offended him. Then he shook his head like a dog coming up out of the water before focusing on Leander. “What made you so upset in there?”

“The situation is just getting complicated,” Leander said.

Xi snorted. “The situation has been complicated since we were twelve years old,” he said dryly.

Leander disagreed. Back then, life was simple. Grown-ups had the power to do whatever they wanted; it was only kids that were helpless against an uncaring system. Life had been unrealistically simple back then.

“The family has accepted the adoption in a way I didn't expect them to,” Leander admitted. He was the one with experience living in China, and from all the stories he had seen on the television, the older generation should have looked on adoption as suspicious at best. Yet events kept knocking him so off-balance that he didn’t know how to react.

“You do tend to assume that people will reject you, which says something about your feelings about yourself,” Xi said.

Leander ran his fingers over the Go board set into the table. The squares were defined by metal lines set into the wood.  “Don't try psychoanalyzing me. I had the same childhood therapist you did, and I recognize her words perfectly well.”

“That doesn't mean they're wrong,” Xi said. “But that still doesn’t tell me what upset you. My own paranoia is running rampant here. What aren’t you telling me?”

Leander glanced toward the dim hallway that ran along the backside of the house. He couldn’t hear Shanlin, but Leander had eavesdropped enough as a child to be distrustful. He closed his eyes and felt for the small bonsai tree sitting on a shelf in his room.  He could hear a rustle of paper and fabric and then the slow slide of a page turning. It sounded like Shanlin was laying on his bed reading something. Leander stood and closed the carved doors to the hallway with a thunk. Everything in this house was ornate and solid and elaborate. He had no idea Heng had come from such a wealthy family. Of course, that still left the far more insubstantial door to the inner courtyard, which was just as elaborately carved and painted.

Xi waited until Leander sat in one of the chairs before asking again. “Your silence is making me consider panicking. What is going on? I don’t know more than a half-dozen words in Chinese and most of those have to do with Chinese take-out menus. But I know you. I can see your reactions. What happened?” He said the last two words with a sharp precision that demanded answers.

Leander looked out the window and across the inner courtyard. The house that belonged to Heng’s older brother Zhiyuan was on the other side and only the garden separated them. Worse, there was a lack of deadly plants nearby. If Leander had his way, he would have stayed somewhere else. Hell, the house in the outer village was probably safer than this place.

“Adoption is not always looked on favorably in Chinese culture,” Leander said quietly. “People who get adopted are often shown as grasping and greedy people who will stab the family in the back given half a chance.”

“Actual Chinese culture, or the dramas you keep talking about?” Xi asked. From his expression, he did not take the danger seriously.

Leander was so tired. He would go to bed and hope tomorrow was better, but apparently his only bed came with a bedmate, and he was not ready to handle that sort of drama. “Fictional stories often reveal culture.”

Xi scoffed. “Then should I expect all American stepmothers to be evil?”

“All? No,” Leander said, “but when we were kids, we met enough kids coming out of bad family situations with stepparents. We both know that marrying someone doesn’t make them love their partners’ kids. You’re a police officer; I’m sure you’ve seen a few examples of evil stepmothers or fathers.” 

Xi winced. Apparently, Leander had scored a direct hit, but he didn’t give up on his argument. “Heng’s parents seem wonderful,” Xi said firmly. “They’ve embraced Shanlin as a grandson, so I don’t think they’re going to fall for any of those myths. But you’re looking for problems.”

“Being here may put Mother Huiling and Father Xiaobo in a difficult position, especially with their eldest son. With Heng at the magic school, Nie Zhiyuan no doubt expected that he had as much time as needed to provide the first grandson. But now, the Nies are giving that status to Shanlin. It won’t make him or us popular with Zhiyuan or his friends.” Leander sat back down at the Go table and tried to will away the nagging headache that was trying to form.

“Does that put us in danger?” Xi asked, his dismissive attitude vanishing in a blink.

“I don't know,” Leander admitted. “I didn’t know how rich Heng’s family was, and I don’t know if first son Zhiyuan feels threatened. If he believes that we have tricked his parents in some way, he may see it as his obligation to save them from us, and I don’t know if he’s the type of man who would target us to defend a possible inheritance. Heng isn’t, but brothers raised in the same house can have different values.”  Leander ran his fingers over the Go board and tried to think past the dull panic that had settled into his soul.

“Well, shit,” Xi whispered. “Could he have been the one who poisoned me… You are the one who should have been handling the basket as you collected plants.”

“I don’t know,” Leander said wearily. “If the Nies mentioned that they wanted to give Shanlin the status of first son… maybe. Maybe they take birth order as seriously as they do in dramas, and maybe it is largely irrelevant because the culture is more modern or Westernized. Mother Huiling does like her soap operas.”

“So you knowing exactly nothing,” Xi summarized. Leander would have taken offense, but that was an accurate summary.

“I’ll feel better when Heng gets back, and we can talk to him about what’s going on with the family dynamics.”

“So when is your hot little lover going to be back?” Xi toed off his shoes and scooted back onto the bed.

Leander's heart almost stopped as he shushed Xi. “Do not say that,” he hissed. He leaned forward and poked a long, sharp finger toward Xi.  Xi’s eyes grew huge, and Leander reminded himself that Xi was an ally–his only ally.  He had said that out of ignorance, not out of a desire to get them all killed or exiled.

“Homosexuality is… it has a difficult history in China.” Leander curled his hands into fists.

Xi spoke slowly. “Difficulty as in people murdered on the streets or difficulty as in marriage inequality?”

“That would depend on the region of China and the historical period. Given that magical China appears to hang on to large chunks of historical China, I have no idea where they fall on the spectrum.” Leander ran fingers through his hair. “Worse, the Nie family see me as Heng’s little brother. Do you want to be the one that tells everyone that Heng had sex with his little brother?” Leander whispered the word sex, horrified that he was even having to explain this. They couldn't trust that they were safe from eavesdropping, and this was the sort of secret that could destroy a family. He wouldn't see that happen to Heng or his parents. They were good people and they didn't deserve to get humiliated.

Xi winced. “That is very Game of Thrones, isn’t it?”

Leander glared at him.

“Okay, other than the cultural implications of getting adopted at the ripe old age of twenty-nine, and the irony of the adoption happening years after we all prayed for some nice family to adopt all of us together, something else happened. There was one moment when you looked like you were ready to crawl out of your skin with embarrassment.”

As much as Leander liked to pretend that he could hide his emotions, he and Xi had known each other too long. “They asked about the Boon family.”

Xi winced. “You said that much during our weird tea thing, and I get that it’s not a good subject….”

“Chinese care about family. A person is judged by the quality of their parents and the status of their siblings,” Leander said, his voice flat. “I explained that my father disappeared before I was born, likely taken by the government. I also told them that I was young when my mother feared we were being watched and she left to try and fool those that were hunting us.”

Xi's eyebrows went up, but he didn't say anything. He probably knew Finn’s background as well as Leander did. And no doubt somewhere in childhood, Leander had made it clear that his mother had abandoned him, not left to protect him. But Xi was nodding, silently agreeing to go along with the lie. “There are also a couple of difficult topics that came up,” Leander said. 

Xi rubbed a hand over his face. “Explain quickly before I have a chance to panic.”

“They asked if I would take the Nie name since there is no Boon family left.”

That made Xi smile. His relief was carved into his face. “Great. That would give another layer of protection if someone is looking for you,” Xi said.

“Yes,” Leander agreed, “but it would also mean that I had obligations to Mother Huiling and Father Xiaobo. Lying to them, even lying by not telling them the truth, would be unfilial in the extreme and would earn punishment, and I don’t know this society well enough to know what that would look like.” Leander felt older than he had in a long time. “I want to pretend they never made the offer so that I don't have to feel guilty about turning them down or guilty about accepting it when I can't be the sort of son a Chinese parent expects.”

Maybe Xi finally understood the problem because he slid off the tall bed and moved to Leander’s side before putting a hand on his forearm. He rested it there until the warmth soaked into Leander. Ironically, that just made the rest of him feel colder by comparison.

“What did you tell them?”

“That I was too surprised to make a wise decision without further contemplation.”

Xi nodded. “Good redirection. You’d make a good undercover officer.”

“I would throw myself off a bridge first,” Leander said. “But I am in over my head here.  Heng seemed so normal when we met in Chongqing, but his family… They are gifting you and Shanlin with a set of pills that will make learning Chinese almost impossibly easy.”

“I’m not sure anything would make learning Chinese impossibly easy.” Xi had never hidden his dislike for Chinese and all the tonal variations.

“Magic pills can, but this is an enormous gift. Most people in their entire lives cannot afford a full set of pills, and they are gifting us two sets of them.”

Xi whistled through his teeth. “Yikes. Is this something we should turn down? I mean, I want to know what everyone is saying. Badly. But I don’t want to be in their debt when we don’t really know them.”

“Turning them down would be a huge insult. The expectation is that we do favors for each other to prove we are united in our goals.” Leander stared at the door to the inner courtyard and let Xi’s hand anchor him when he wanted to throw his awareness into the nearest tree and find the strength and stability and deep roots that he lacked in his own life. Being human required too much effort.

“But are we?” Xi asked. “United in our goals, I mean.”

Leander thought about how Father Xiaobo and Mother Huiling had looked at Shanlin. They had one son dedicated to magic, and those who cultivated their magic too much tended to lose interest in mortal affairs like wives or children.  And their first son had a reputation as a craftsman of enough repute that Master Teacher Wang spoke well of him, yet he had no wife. Maybe they shared a goal when it came to Shanlin. Maybe they all wanted him to have a good life and grow to be a man they could all be proud of. Maybe Leander should leave him here with grandparents who wanted to give him the Nie name.

“I don’t know,” Leander confessed. “I think Shanlin could learn to be a filial grandson who would make them happy, I am afraid their first born son will not share those goals. I know first son Zhiyuan does not like outsiders, and now we have settled into his home.  There are undercurrents that I don't understand and that makes me…” Leander struggled for a word.

“Homicidally fearful,” Xi filled in for him.

Leander glared at him, and Xi held both hands up in surrender before retreating the two steps to the bed. “I get it. I hate any loss of control, and I'm not saying your reaction is wrong or even illogical.”

We need to bring value to the family and prove we are not the stereotype of a grasping adoptee,” Leander said. “From the excitement my baskets caused, they’re a valuable commodity, and there is a much larger customer base here than I expected. I am going to go out with a local guide and find river reeds so that I can weave the strongest possible basket I can for Mother Huiling. It is all I can do to thank them for their extravagance.”

Xi nodded. “I'll go with you.”

“I don't need it to be babysat.” Leander snapped.

“No, you don’t. And if you did, you just said you would have a local guide. However, we’re not splitting up, and you’re not leaving me to deal with all this family shit. You had a mother growing up, at least part of the time. I have never been part of a family. The closest I came was–”

Leander knew what he had been about to say–their group in the home. They’d been a dysfunctional and pathetic sort of family. They’d shared what they’d stolen. They’d protected each other. They’d torn each other apart with their infighting and schemes just like a proper family. “And Shanlin? Will you leave him here alone or drag him out into a mythological forest with beasts that could kill him?”

“Isn’t he safe here? Even if Zhiyuan hates you, shouldn’t Shanlin be okay?”

Leander rubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t know. I don't understand any of this. We clearly are part of this family, but I don't know how or how different parts of the family are going to interact.”

“There's a lot you don't know.”

“Metric tons,” Leander agreed dryly. Maybe he’d been raised by a mother until he’d been ten. Sort of. But his mother had never taught him how to be part of a family.

Xi pursed his lips. “Then we tell your Mother Huiling that we wish for Shanlin to be kept busy while we go out to find reeds. We ask that they introduce him to someone or tutor him in something or I don't know… lock the door to the house so he stays in here.”

“Everything is spinning out of control,” Leander said, any hated the note of panic he could hear in his own voice.

Xi caught his hand. “We have been out of control since we were ten years old,” he said. “Any control we thought we found was an illusion. I thought I was making my own choices when I decided to go into police work, but do you really think the government would've let me choose anything else with my talent?”

Leander pressed his eyes closed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn't want logic. He wanted to feel sorry for himself and curse the world and demand some mythical fairness that didn't exist. He wanted to understand what was going on and have enough information to plot a safe pathway. He wanted to go to the afterlife able to tell Finn and Tecca that he had given their son a better life than any of them had enjoyed. He wanted so many things that were just impossible and naïve.

Xi reached across the space and took Leander’s hand in his, pulling Leander to his feet so they were facing one another. “All we can do is the best we can do,” Xi said, “and you have done wonderfully. I sat outside Shanlin’s house wondering what I was supposed to do, but you took action. You are doing the best anyone could expect, so don't get lost in that self-hatred of yours.”

Leander laughed, it was a cold and cruel sound. “I'm a drug dealer. Isn't that what you called me? It's true. I may not sell it, largely because anyone would run away in terror rather than engage in conversation with me, but I made the drugs. I’m not a good man, so don’t mistake my selfish need to save the last piece of Finn for any moral strength.”

“Tecca is the one that made those drugs stronger and more dangerous than anything you could have managed. And you're right when you accused me of arresting innocent people. I arrested people who were just as scared and harmless as we were at fourteen. I knew it was wrong.” Xi rubbed a hand over his face, but with his other hand, he still held Leander tightly. “At night, their faces haunt my nightmares, but I did it anyway because it was the only thing I knew to do. It was the safe path.”

Xi looked at Leander with wonder. “But you stepped off the safe path. Don’t ever minimize how amazing that is.” Xi’s expression made Leander uncomfortable. Leander tried to pull his hand away, but Xi held on.

Leander stook his head. “I worked for Druwolf. He is the biggest monster I've ever known.”

Xi's gaze skittered away and caught for a moment on the corner where the shadows were deepest. Leander wondered if he was trying to use his talent, but he didn't wince in pain and the shadows didn't move before Xi looked at him again. “There are far bigger monsters out there than Druwolf. He's a simple monster motivated by money and a need to be the center of attention. That makes him almost mundane.”

Leander wanted to scoff and argue, but something in Xi's expression stopped him. He didn't know what Xi had seen working for the police, but it clearly haunted him.

Xi caught Leander’s left hand so now he held both. They stood so close that their breath mingled and their bodies brushed against one another. Leander swallowed, discomfort vying with far deeper feelings that he refused to name. “We are in this together,” Xi said. 

Leander wanted to believe him. He wanted to believe that there was someone that he could rely on forever, someone who knew how irascible and unreasonable and angry he got and still chose to stand with him. But he also knew that Finn would have made those same promises to Tecca. Leander could imagine them standing in the same position, holding one another's hands and looking at each other while they promised each other forever, and that had not ended well. Leander couldn't afford weakness. 

He drew his hands away from Xi and took a step backwards as he gathered his thoughts away from the dark places they had wandered. “I have to put Shanlin first,” he said firmly. Relying on people, loving people, never ended well.  “Do you want to take the right or left side of the bed?” he asked in the most professional voice he could muster.