AM7: Durance, chapter 20 (Patreon)

Kavon focused on the traffic and not the wispy thread of worry Darren projected through the bond. The light turned red, and Darren cleared his throat. Kavon waited for him to say something, but he remained silent. Even the bond was quiet.

“Does it occur to you that we’ve had more than our share of dirty cops lately?” Darren asked.

Kavon winced. Traci Frane had spied on them, Ben Anderson had magically harassed a team member, and those were just the corrupt law enforcement officers on their team. “Any job with power is going to attract people who want to abuse it.”

“That’s pessimistic.” Darren’s voice was weary. 

A car cut them off in traffic, but Kavon was too tired to get upset. “And true. The church sexual abuse scandal, police brutality, corruption in politics—it all comes from the same source.”

“Yeah. People suck.”

Kavon chuckled even though he largely agreed. “Maybe a little. But any job with power will attract a certain percentage who see an opportunity to abuse others. How many pedophiles have we found in youth sports programs or schools?”

“Too damn many.”

Kavon rested his hand on Darren’s knee. “Then why would you expect it to be any different with law enforcement? Most officers and agents want to help their community. A sizeable percentage wants a stable job with a good pension. And then there are the others.”

“The ones who use the system to target the vulnerable?” Darren asked. “The assholes who think a gun makes them a god and who beat cuffed suspects while witnesses with cell phones record it? The ones who think they’re so great that no one would ever question their right to do whatever they want to others?”

“And most are disgusted by that behavior, just like you and I are,” Kavon said firmly. Darren was supposed to be the optimist of the team, but recent events had clearly tarnished that. “Don’t lose sight of the fact that most people in law enforcement want to help their community.

“Then they should start by protecting the community from bad cops.” Darren sighed. “But that’s not why I joined. I was right out of college and I’d been so damn sheltered that I’m not sure I realized how unfair life is.”

That shocked Kavon; he had always thought of Darren as a crusader. “Why did you join?”

“Out of self-preservation.” Darren sounded disgusted with himself. “In school, my grades were all over the place. If a class was interesting and challenging, I got an A. If I was bored, I struggled to get above a C. The same in college. When a recruiter talked about the FBI program, I thought it would challenge me enough that I might avoid getting fired for being a shitty employee.”

“You’ve become a champion,” Kavon said.

“Because I realized people needed one, but that came later. I never was focused—not like you.”

“Your view of me is skewed,” Kavon said. As much as Darren’s unflagging confidence bolstered Kavon’s confidence, Kavon hadn’t earned it. “I never wanted to be the center of a fight for Talent rights in or out of the FBI. I wanted a quiet life where I could made a small difference in the world. I wanted to be a teacher.”

Darren grinned and waved his hand through the air as though outlining a banner. “Kavon Boucher’s school of magic. I can see that.”

“I wanted to be a history teacher,” Kavon corrected him. “I wanted to show kids that shamans were normal people.” While his friends had complained about younger siblings, Kavon had enjoyed reading his little brothers and sisters stories and teaching them the cool parts of history. His mother had taken a spoon to his butt more than once for telling them historically accurate but age-inappropriate stories about lynchings and witch burnings and plague victims.

“Seriously?” Darren’s incredulity made Kavon wonder who he was. He wasn’t the young man who had reluctantly followed Dave’s advice and joined the FBI when the agency had first recruited those with Talent.

Kavon changed the subject. “We should ask the Djedi center about any shamans in local law enforcement.” 

Thankfully Darren followed Kavon’s lead. “Bennu chose me when I didn’t have a Talented cell in my body. We shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss mundane suspects.”

“We won’t dismiss them because plenty of shamans and magic users hide their talent. But Bennu could see you through my eyes.” The light turned green, and Kavon turned into their driveway. One of their neighbors waved. Before Darren had moved in, none of Kavon’s neighbors even recognized him. Of course, back then Kavon never would have played basketball with them or helped people carry moving boxes. Darren had pulled him out of a self-imposed exile Kavon hadn’t recognized. Darren waved back while Kavon parked the SUV.

Maybe Darren recognized Kavon’s dark mood because he didn’t say anything as they headed up to their apartment. When Kavon saw their unguarded door—again—a frisson of worry distracted him long enough for Darren to slip his own hand into Kavon’s. Normally Kavon avoided public displays of affection, but no one was around, and the lack of his bull guarding the door left Kavon disquieted. He squeezed back.

Kavon expended enough magic to check his perimeter defenses before reclaiming his hand from Darren so he could unlock the door. 

“I was hoping to find the guides here,” Darren said softly, his disappointment echoing Kavon’s. The lack of guides was only one part of his frustration with the day.

“I fucked up,” Kavon said. The words were bitter in his mouth.

“You didn’t have a red letter day, but you didn’t do anything that every other agent hasn’t done,” Darren said.

Kavon gritted his teeth. “I know better.”

Darren sat on the arm of the couch. “So does every other agent. So do I. We all have days where the frustration gets too high and we fuck up.”

“I’m the supervising agent.” Kavon slapped his hand down on the cold granite countertop.

“You’re a human being,” Darren shouted back at him. “Welcome to the human race where fucking up is one of the requirements. We’re all under a lot of pressure, so it’s not like anyone expects you to maintain perfect composure.”

The surge of anger caught Kavon off-guard, and for a moment he thought the bond had channeled Darren’s anger toward him. But it hadn’t. No, he was angry at Darren—for forgiving him, for holding it together in the field, for breathing. Kavon wasn’t even sure. Rather than start a fight, Kavon headed for the bedroom. He slammed the door hard enough to make the wall shiver, and then guilt piled on top of the anger.

Kavon sat on the edge of their bed and he tried to sort his feelings. In the living room, the television played softly, but Kavon didn’t feel like fit company. He didn’t even want to be around Darren long enough to walk through the living room to get to the stairs, so he sat and stared at nothing.

He had almost reached the point where he had locked down his emotions when the door slowly opened. Darren leaned against the jamb. “Want to talk?”

Kavon said, “No,” but he had no illusions that Darren would go away that easily. “It’s my job to provide solid judgment in the field.”

“Yep,” Darren agreed, “which is why the regs ban you from investigating cases where you have too much invested to stay cool. That scene out there... yeah, it wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t surprising and no one will think any less of you for having human emotions.”

“Maybe they should,” Kavon said. “You had even more reason to lose it, and you didn’t.”

“Ah.” Darren sighed and then inched his way into the room as though expecting Kavon to go off like a bomb. That heaped more guilt onto the pile of emotions Kavon was already trying to process. “In case you’ve forgotten, I’ve lost it plenty.”

“You didn’t today, and when O’Brien had me pinned in that zombie spell, you kept calm when I panicked.” That had been one of the worst moments of Kavon’s life. Dying in the line of duty was a danger he willingly faced, but the threat of having his free will stripped by a manipulative puppeteer was terrifying.

“I didn’t panic today because only one of us can freak out at a time, and it seemed like you have the right of way, this time.”

Kavon rubbed a hand over his face. “You’re the one who nearly died.”

“Exactly.” Darren sat next to him on the bed. “That’s why you get dibs on the freaking out. When you nearly get killed, I plan to freak the shit out. Besides, I tend to schedule my panic attacks around things that matter more to me... you know, like whether people like me. Christ. I can be a twelve-year-old girl sometimes. Correction. I can be a twelve-year-old tween with no social skills.”

“Darren.” Kavon stopped. He carried as much blame for that as Darren. And Coretta and Rima carried a tiny percentage for not listening when Darren said Ben Anderson had targeted him.

“Yeah, I know. It was unprofessional and a little pathetic. But my point is that we just lose it on different stuff. I like to tell people that back when I was a probie, I reported my bosses for mishandling that Talent case because I was a badass. I act like I was all about defending the victims. And I do hate it when agents pick and choose who to protect; however, I will admit that part of my anger of that was the fact they treated me like I was the weird kid who needed to shut up and stand in the corner. I don’t handle rejection well. Not even a little.”

Kavon pulled Darren close and embraced him. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. Standing up against experience, senior agents is no small feat. You risked everything because you believed those assholes were wrong.”

“You’re assuming I’m noble as opposed to insecure,” Darren said.

“When I showed up, I assumed you were a junior agent trying to show off how much you learned at the academy and earn brownie points. I used my Talent to check your motives, and all you felt was indignation and fear, and you still spoke up. Give yourself credit.”

Darren took a deep breath, and some of his more negative emotions faded. “Only if you give yourself credit. Any mistakes you make, you make out of a desire to protect your people. You’re a good man, and the only reason the FBI rules ban you from investigating a case involving your own people is because any agent would lose their shit in the same circumstances.”

Kavon wanted to believe that, but he feared it was wishful thinking on his part. He knew better, and he’d let his emotions override his good judgment. Darren ran his hand up Kavon’s back, and a shiver of lust followed the warmth of his touch.

The sharp shift in his emotions startled Kavon but he realized that Darren had opened the bond and pushed lust and affection through. “That’s manipulative,” Kavon said.

“Yep,” Darren cheerfully agreed before getting up. He moved to stand between Kavon’s knees, his arms resting on Kavon’s shoulders. “I’m just using the tools available to remind you that you have an overprotective lover who won’t let anyone beat up on you, not even yourself.”

Kavon rested his hands on Darren’s hips. “Is that so?”

“Yep.” Darren popped his p. 

“I feel like it would be rude to continue my self-flagellation when you’re right here.” Kavon slipped his hands under Darren’s shirt. 

“Oh, definitely.” A tremor went through Darren, and he leaned closer. His breath came quicker, and Kavon slipped his hand behind Darren’s neck and pulled him closer. Their lips met, and Kavon ran his fingers through Darren’s thick hair. Darren leaned into Kavon, tilting his head to the side and deepening the kiss. Kavon fumbled at Darren’s buttons with one hand. 

Kavon grabbed Darren by the waist and pulled him down to the bed. Their teeth clacked together, and then Darren was laughing and squirming. “We aren’t teenagers to rip each other’s clothes off. Let me get rid of the shirt.”

“I thought you were a tween,” Kavon said. He regretted the words when the joy Darren radiated dimmed. Darren shifted to sit on the edge of the bed. Kavon rested his hand on Darren’s back. “I’m sorry.” He relaxed his hold over the bond so Kavon would know how much he regretted his careless words.

Darren gave him a lopsided grin. “None of us are perfect. I won’t let my issues define me if you’ll do the same.” He tossed his shirt at the side chair.

“Deal.” Kavon pulled Darren back down and assaulted his exposed nipple. In seconds, Darren was writhing and gasping. Kavon thought he’d sexually tortured Darren past the point of coherent thought, but then Darren flipped them and straddled Kavon’s hips. When Darren waggled his eyebrows, Kavon laughed. Joy flowed through the bond as Darren unbuttoned Kavon’s shirt, running a fingernail lightly over the skin. 

Darren moaned, and Kavon flipped Darren to the side and then pinned him to the bed before kissing him again. This time Darren got more aggressive. He ran dull teeth over Kavon’s lower lip. Lust slammed into Kavon as he was caught in that double existence of the bond. Kavon pinned Darren to the bed, but he also felt hands on his wrists, pinning him down. 

Darren ground his erection against Kavon’s hip, and Kavon made an undignified half-strangled cry as the lust wound around them, tying them together. Kavon pulled his shirt over his head and sent it flying. Kavon hurried to get his pants undone while he toed off his shoes. He felt Darren’s anticipation under his own skin.  

Kavon sent his pants after his shirt and Darren was there, kissing him hungrily. Darren hooked a leg over Kavon’s hip and their bodies pressed together—skin against skin. Sweat and need and lust swirled around them. Kavon nipped Darren’s shoulder before he started kissing the side of his neck. 

“Fuck. Do something or this is going to be over embarrassingly fast,” Darren gasped. He thrust his hips forward, pressing his hard cock into Kavon’s groin. The surge of raw, manic need slammed through Kavon. He damn near came.

Kavon collapsed onto his back as he struggled to control his orgasm. Darren rested his forehead against Kavon’s shoulder and said, “You need to turn down the sexy.”

“I thought today’s incompetence did that,” Kavon said dryly.

“Nah. You’re still a sexy beast.” Darren ran his warm hands over Kavon’s chest and then distracted Kavon with a flurry of kisses across his neck and shoulder. While Kavon twisted under Darren’s touch, Darren wrapped his hand around both their cocks.

Kavon arched his back and opened his mouth to cry out, but he lost his voice. 

“Whoa. Head rush,” Darren whispered. 

Kavon blindly groped for their cocks, but Darren pushed his hand aside and squeezed them together. With a cry, Darren thrust down into him, and Kavon grabbed Darren’s waist, holding on tightly as Darren set a brutal pace.

As the need built to a critical mass, Kavon bit his lip. When Darren shuddered and jerked, Kavon lost himself in their shared ecstasy. He drove his hips up as their shared orgasm swallowed them both. Their bodies grew slick and their dicks slid against each other until Kavon’s cock slipped free of Darren’s grasp. 

Kavon gasped for air, and Darren collapsed across his chest. The bond thrummed with contentment so loudly that it took several minutes for Kavon to notice the quieter thread of worry. He pried one eye open and studied Darren. “Are you okay?”

Darren propped himself up on one elbow. “I was about to ask you the same thing.”

Kavon frowned. Someone projected soft worry and a twisted sense of nostalgia, but the apartment was warded well enough that Kavon shouldn’t feel anyone. He struggled up and reached for the sheet. If something odd was about to happen, he didn’t want his dick flapping in the wind. The bull appeared first, and he blasted the air with determination and frustration. It fairly quickly killed the afterglow.

Bennu appeared a second later, and he added notes of mourning and guilt. Kavon swung his legs off the bed. “Darren, why is your guide feeling guilty?” Kavon pushed his bull to yield some of his power. Kavon did not want to run low on magic when the stakes were so high.

“I think this is old guilt. He’s remembering Earth thousands of years ago when he and the other docent purged the world.” Darren stood next to the bull and stared at his guide. Bennu gave a warbling cry, and then the bull blasted out a bellowing challenge. “But I don’t think the bull is ready to admit defeat.”

“Good, because we aren’t going to lose.” Kavon grabbed his robe and pulled it on. Bennu gave another heart-breaking cry. It sounded as if they had at least one doubter in the room.

“Of course we’ll win,” Darren said with a confidence that didn’t match his feelings. Sex had left the bond fully open, and his doubts flashed in neon letters.

Kavon sighed. When Darren doubted their ability to win, Kavon had to rethink their strategy. He pulled the tie on his robe tighter. “We should call Angel, brief him on all this and brainstorm possible strategies with him and Ahtisham.”

Darren whirled around, his eyes large. Kavon hated that Darren was so startled by a little common sense. It was definitely time to listen to his people more.

“What about the others? What about Jen and Anne and Joe and Milton?”

Pushing aside his fears, Kavon considered the new members of the Talent unit. Maybe his habit of digging in was still influencing him, but he couldn’t trust all of them. “We don’t know them well enough, but Milton… he is unsubtle in his feelings.”

Darren snorted and amusement filled the bond.

“His skills and his lack of subterfuge makes it worth the risk,” Kavon said. “Unless you think we should invite them all to a team briefing.” Kavon waited. His gut told him to keep the others away from this conflict, but he also trusted Darren’s judgment. If he wanted to veto Darren when he got insecure and struck out at people, he needed to let Darren veto him when he wasn’t willing to change fast enough.

“So, Milton only. That’s fair,” Darren said. He sat next to Kavon on the bed. “He’s going to freak out.”

“He’s an FBI agent. He’d better be able to handle stressful situations,” Kavon said without any mercy. Darren patted him on the leg and filled the bond with amusement and disbelief. He might have said something about Kavon’s bite and his bark, only Kavon said, “Do you want to catch up on this season of Magic in the Family?”

“Deal,” Darren said. The two of them needed a night of curling up on the couch together. He studied the guides. Maybe all four of them needed some quiet time together.