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The summer is going... going... going.... (Patreon)

Published:
2019-07-31 00:31:19
Imported:
2026-06

Content

I feel like such a... okay, I won't say failure, but failurish this summer.  I had planned to get Ends, Means done (check), do a major overhaul of Aberrant Magic 7 (1/2 done), and finish The Witness Wore a Puppy Tail (HA ha ha ha ha ha ha).  Yeah.  Not so much.  What have I done?  Sweated, wandered the house confused while trying to figure out what I was looking for, and tossed all night.  I love the lack of periods, but this menopause thing is SHIT.  Pure, unadulterated SHIT.  

And now... and NOW... school meetings have started and they've given me a newbie--a baby teacher straight out of college who doesn't know a Roman from an Etruscan religious belief and can't even start a conversation about trade in the ancient world.  SAVE ME.  Please.  Either that or shoot me.  What should be fifteen minutes of me deciding the first two weeks and making sure I have Powerpoints and photocopies made is now three hours of why, when, why, where, why, how, why.

I know.  I know she needs to start somewhere and it's way better to have a young teacher that asks questions than not.  I can already tell that in the long run she's going to be a great teacher.  This is all good.

Only...

Three fucking hours.  Three.  I'm going to kill her or myself.

And I'm quickly hating myself for how much I'm hating her when she's lovely and bright and a frikken sponge when it comes to the nuts and bolts of teaching. I'm turning into a curmudgeon. The year I'm going through menopause might not be the best year to mentor an early-twenties young 'un. 

I want to come home and write and instead I collapse face-first on the bed and listen to Dr. Phil to remind myself that there are people out there more morally bankrupt than I am.  Hating a bright, bubbly person for being bright and bubbly won't quite win me a ticket to the  Bad Place, but Lord, I might put a downpayment on a ticket if she won't leave me alone to be old and crotchety by myself for just a little bit.

Is that too much to ask?

Oh, and if we're going for wishes, I also want time to stop so I can work on orphan!verse and Earth Husbands and all the fun universes I want to write in, and I can't do that when I have to spend three hours doing fifteen minutes of work.

Comments

Sheena Jolie

I am sending you all the cool breezes and non-invasive mental hugs I can. <3

Lyn Gala
>>25262131

Thank you. I need them, and I need a cone of silence. If you happen to know where Maxwell Smart kept the extras, let me know.

Simone (snowsim)

Just a reminder, menopause does get easier. Hang in there. You're really doing awesomely well, even if it doesn't always feel like it.

Big Gay Monster

You can't be so hard on yourself. You're incredibly productive in ways I could never be. So much respect. Take care of business. Take care of yourself. Stuff like this... It's a hobby, a side-gig. Your fans will understand.

Orangebeaker

I feel your pain. Take all the time you need to write. Your work is worth waiting for!

Lyn Gala
>>25263399

It's hard not to compare myself now versus five years ago. The volume of work I put out then... it goes to show that we all slow down when we get older

Lyn Gala
>>25265146

Thank you so much. I am trying not to be cranky about bright and shiny girl stealing my time, but I also know that she's stealing your stories. Well, classes will start soon and she'll be too tired to ask for advice.

Anka Mauderer

Your fans understand you. Slow down and breathe. It's better to have a little bit of your great work as nothing at all. We wait and we believe in you. You are an awesome person and I send you as many virtual hugs as you need. (In case you find the cone of silence, can I have it next?)

Evelyn St.

I don‘t want to fright you, but menopause started for me when I was in my very early forties, and went on and on... and on... 🙄 Nowadays, with sixty, it‘s almost good, lol. I never went back to getting very easily to sleep like before menopause started, but now I use earplugs and much thinner bedding and it‘s fine. When I felt hot and cranky these first few years, and couldn’t sleep at all, I took a book and started reading, because I wanted to spend the time with some good stories, (or movies, that is) and not getting into an extremely bad mood because I would look at my alarm clock all the time. It worked for me, while accepting the not being able to sleep, I was still tired in the morning, but not cranky and not ready to kill everyone because of it. And strangely I didn‘t need so much sleep that way and could function still. Perhaps something like that will work for you also?

Evelyn St.

(I just never learn, I’m always sending everything away much to soon, sorry!) What I wanted to say as last thought here: perhaps that way, you don‘t want to strangle your annoyingly bubbly young coworker in the morning...😊

Nanette kerrison

Big ol’ non invasive hug! I’m having the heat/sleeping/menopause problem thing too. Plus I’ve been triggered by some very bad things lately - so at teh moment I’m getting up around midnight and going to bed between 2 and 4 pm....I’m just rolling with it.

Mandy Lancaster

Haven't hit menopause yet. It's coming for me very late. Don't be hard on yourself, that was a very full plate to take on for the Summer, and didn't you have some issues with your mom taking up some time, hmm? As to the bubbly young'un, I know it's frustrating but you will get through this. She's lucky to have someone like you as a mentor even in your curmudgeonly phase. You'll be able to help her become the teacher she wants to be. Consider yourself Yoda, he wasn't to thrilled to have a student either. :) Some of our most beloved teachers are crotchety, I think it goes with the job. :)

Mary Ellen

It's super hard to be giving when you are tapped out. It sounds like your body is giving you a really hard time and adding having to grow a baby teacher isn't really the best timing. I hope you have gotten plenty of time to take care of yourself.

Lyn Gala
>>25269719

Thank you so much. Sometimes I feel so caught because I want to do right by my day job, but when Ic an't write, I feel lost, and like I'm letting you guys down.

Lyn Gala
>>25278985

Oh shit. If I have twenty years of this, ya'll are not going to have many more books out of me, that's for sure. This is hard to work through, and with school starting up again, it's rough.

Lyn Gala
>>25279448

I'm much less annoyed by her now. The appearance of actual students has reduced the bubble, so I'm a little more sympathetic.

Lyn Gala
>>25289643

Thank you so much. This time of life is a bitch. Oh, don't get me wrong, I still prefer this to the insecurity of my twenties, but DANG

Lyn Gala
>>25321635

I have a lot of my plate, and with menopause, I do feel like the plate is shrinking, that's for sure. However, I am starting to get my feet under me, so maybe the time issues will settle down a bit.

Lyn Gala
>>25454923

Yeah, I think you're right there. It's hard to keep all the plates spinning, and watching someone thirty years younger than me do it was a bit frustrating