Guide to Surviving, chapter 13 (Patreon)

Stella woke slowly, waiting for pain to strike. It didn’t. She opened her eyes slowly, and her first sight was the back of Alicia’s head, her black hair tangled and draped over one of the cot poles. “Alicia?” Stella’s voice came out as a croak.

Alicia’s head whipped around. “You’re awake.” She rested her hands on Stella’s arm, and the connection between them was rich and full of emotions that teased at the edge of Stella’s mind. Hope. Fear. Complex feelings that blurred the edges of Stella’s awareness.

“How are you—”

Stella shot to her feet, a growl erupting as she dropped into an attack pose. Only instead of just bending her knees, her body kept dropping until she landed on four feet. The pregnant woman retreated, her hands held out in front of her, and Alicia leaped into Stella’s path.

“She’s not a threat.” Alicia glanced over her shoulder. “She’s not an immediate threat,” she corrected herself. “Take a deep breath and let the wolf go. Just breathe out and focus on human feelings.”

Stella whined. What did she mean by human feelings? The sight of two paws under her head made the panic rise in her chest.

Alicia crouched down. “The wolf thinks about territory and pack and threats. Think about your father. Think about the relationship you had with your brother before the world ended. Think about something complicated and human.”

Stella thought about how she didn’t understand her relationship with Alicia. She knew that Alicia felt like part of her, but the memory of Alicia’s hand resting on her shoulder brought up much more complex feelings that didn’t have an easy spot in her brain. Were they friends? Were they pack? Were they more? How should Stella feel about the idea that Alicia had watched her? And how should she deal with a brother who she would rather pretend didn’t exist? Jordan was the key to complicated and human.

Stella straightened up, flexing her hands as she tried to wrap her head around the idea that she was a wolf. A wolf. She grinned at Alicia.

“I guess calling a wolf spirit isn’t as difficult as I assumed,” Alicia said with a wry smile. “Are you ready to leave?”

“Um, what about the zombies? And why did that kid draw the zombies here in the first place?” Stella shook her hands as her fingertips and nails tingled and burned. The members of the Scrappy family were scattered through the room, and Stella was uncomfortably aware of each. Her gaze landed on Sally who lay on a nearby cot watching, her gaze wary. “And my brother still has a blood tracking spall on me.”

Sally pushed herself up, and a black woman with high cheekbones helped her. “I could help with the tracking spell. But you can’t leave the children here. Your brother is on his way, and we don’t have enough people to hold him off.”

“It didn’t help that you sent the local zombies toward the school,” Chad said softly.

Sally cast an unhappy look in his direction.

Alicia stepped between Stella and Sally. “Your children are not our responsibility. We’re going to have to move too fast for this whole group.”

Sally shook her head. “No. You don't understand. Our children, what hope do they have in a world overrun by zombies? They're just humans. You can make them wolves, give them a chance to survive.”

“People can learn to live in a world full of zombies,” Stella said. “I did. We can help you pack up and evacuate ahead of Jordan reaching town. He has so many people in his group that they aren’t going to move fast. You have time.”

Sally continued shaking her head. “You say humans can survive, but you’re proof that even the strongest humans can’t survive. Were you living or were you breathing until the day came that you found the courage to lay down and stop breathing?”

“Enough,” Alicia snapped. Sally flinched away from her anger, but then her expression firmed into something resolute. “My son asked about you, Stella. He asked if we should invite you in, and so I used my magic to decide whether you would be useful, and my magic told me that your spirit was so weakened that you wouldn’t survive long. You certainly wouldn't survive a pregnancy.”

A cold chill went down Stella’s spine. “Pregnancy? What does pregnancy have to do with anything?”

Sally ignored her question. “Your spirit only strengthened after you found your werewolf, after you realized that you could become spirit touched and build a life. You know as well as I do that humans are no match for zombies. Shifters, magic-touched, selkies and others—that's who will survive when the last humans have died.”

Given that Jordan was still going strong, still using the skills their father had taught them, Stella knew that was wrong. “Some humans have the ability to survive.

“Will humans be able to rebuild?” Sally raised her eyebrows in challenge. But a second later, all the energy drained from her. “If you cannot forgive us, I accept that. I won't ask you to lift a finger to help us, but please take the children.”

A woman came from the back of the crowd with a two or three-year-old and her arms. “Sally, you can’t be serious. We can’t let someone take the children.” She clung more tightly to the little boy.

“Evie, if it’s a choice of clinging to Alexander and allowing him to die or letting him escape the coming battle, which would you choose? Would you condemn your son?”

“I’ll go with them.” She raised her chin and stared at Sally.

“I don’t remember inviting anyone to join our pack,” Alicia said with a growl. Anger, fear, and an overwhelming urge to shove her way free of the room and all the people in it coursed through Stella’s chest. Alicia rested a hand on Stella’s shoulder, and the surge of emotion settled. However, a growl still slipped free before Stella could stop it.

The black woman abandoned Sally’s side and scooped up a little girl who looked a lot like her. “I have been loyal for years, but I was promised a safe place for any child I had. I won’t turn my child over to young women who don’t know them and who have no experience raising or teaching children.” She turned to Alicia and bowed her head slightly. “No offense, wolf.”

“None taken,” Alicia said.

Stella would have complained that the woman had no right to suggest that she and Alicia were incompetent, but when it came to kids, Stella was the epitome of ineptitude. She had tried babysitting once and she’d lost the twelve-year-old while trying to keep an eye on the four-year-old. That didn’t scream competence.

“The goal has always been to find a way to use magic to our advantage. We have to let the children leave,” Sally argued. Despite the vehemence, her voice had a tremor.

“Oma, no,” Chris said loudly. “I won't go without you.” He tore away from the blonde woman trying to hold him back and threw himself at Sally. She threw her arms around the little boy.

“Alicia,” Stella said softly.

“No.”

“Come on.”

Alicia glared at her. “You would be useless with children.”

“Rude.” Stella crossed her arms, but Alicia just pinned her with an unamused look. Stella wilted. “Okay, fine. It’s true as well as rude. but we can’t leave kids behind.” Stella wanted to think that Jordan wouldn’t hurt children, but she still remembered her father calling out for help when the zombie had grabbed him. Stella had been screaming, but Jordan dragged her away. He’d left their father begging for help, and that was his own flesh and blood. She didn’t trust Jordan to leave the kids out of the fight.

Chris was still crying, holding onto Sally with both fists. The other children seemed to absorb his distress, and they all clung to their chosen adults.

“We’re not separating parents and children,” Alicia said.

“Valid,” Stella agreed. The idea of dragging crying children to safety while their parents died—that was too close to her nightmares. “Who are the parents?”

All the adults began looking at each other. Stella looked at Chad, but he avoided her gaze. So did Sally and the women. The blacksmith and the woman who helped him both met her gaze, but all their emotions were locked behind blank expressions. Stella sneezed, and half the adults jumped.

“I’ve fathered all of them,” Geoff said.

Sally pushed herself up so she was sitting on the edge of the cot, Chris still clinging to her. “He’s the only one with even a hint of magic. I am too old for more children, so if we needed a young one who could continue my spells, that child would have to come from my son.”

Stella opened her mouth, and closed it, unable to come up with an appropriate response. All the things she wanted to say were not for children’s ears, and there were too many children in this room. And all of them were Geoff’s children.

Oh shit. Pregnancy. Sally had done some sort of spell to see if she was strong enough for pregnancy. Sally hadn’t been willing to offer her a place unless she was strong enough to give birth to a potentially magical child. Stella was nauseated.

Alicia pushed Stella toward the door.

“Um… zombies?”

Alicia graced her with a disgusted look. “You’re a wolf. Who runs faster, humans or wolves?”

“There are neither humans nor wolves involved in this equation. You have dead humans who don’t feel pain or get tired versus a newly made werewolf who doesn’t know how to run on four feet. Excuse me for thinking that’s not ideal.”

Alicia winced. “Fine, we’ll practice with your wolf form, but you had better learn fast.”

“You won’t leave us,” Sally pushed Chris to one side, and Geoff stepped in to scoop up his son. His son. Apparently every child here was either his son or daughter. Stella glanced at Chad and the blacksmith and wondered how they felt about that.

“The hell we won’t,” Alicia said. “We don’t owe you.”

“I can get the blood tracking spell off your pack mate, and I will if you give me a magical vow that you will protect our children.”

“Mom,” Geoff said softly.

She waved him off. “Maybe cat-shifters aren’t family oriented, but everyone knows that wolves are rabidly protective of cubs.”

“Cubs?” Alicia demanded. “They’re children not cubs. We don’t even call our own children ‘cubs.’”

Sally pressed her lips together in a way that reminded Stella of her own mother's attempts to be silent when her mother-in-law had made comments on her housekeeping. Hopefully they were not about to have a repeat of those fights. Sally might be asking for a favor, but she was also a witch, and Stella had to assume that an aggravated which was unsafe

“What do you want from us? I could craft spells to keep your den safe.”

“House. We live in a house,” Alicia snapped.

“We lived in a house,” Stella corrected her. “Past tense.” Stella moved in front of Alicia. “None of us are in a great spot. I don’t know why you think two wolves are going to change the odds, but I promise that will not deter my brother. We’re all neck-deep in shit, and I’m pretty sure the zombie mob outside the fence won’t make things better. If being a shifter was some sort of trump card, you would have asked Chad to change you guys into cat shifters.”

“Yeah, no, they wouldn’t have,” Chad whispered. No one else reacted to his comment, so Stella suspected they hadn’t heard him. Or maybe they were distracted by the moans of the zombies outside. That was a little distracting.

“We need you,” Sally said. The parents didn’t seem to agree. None of them would even look at Stella and Alicia.

“First thing first, Stella needs time to use her form or she’s just going to get killed and then we’ll have a rabid wolf running around the place. Wolves.” Chad rolled his eyes. “So dependent on their precious packs.”

Stella braced for a nuclear explosion, but Alicia just narrowed her eyes. “Cats,” she said, the word slow like she was pushing it out of her mouth like cookie dough out of a press. “So unreliable.”

Chad narrowed his own eyes.

“Of course,” Sally said brightly as if two were-creatures weren’t about to eviscerate each other in front of the children. “Chad, show them to your space, please, and give Stella time to master her form. And in the meantime, think about what it would mean to leave all these children behind. Just think about it.” Sally offered a grandmotherly smile, but the hairs rose on Stella’s arm and a chill went down her spine. She remembered how her mother used to laugh and say someone had walked over her grave when that happened. It wasn’t that funny when she was dead.