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Blurb (Patreon)

Published:
2022-06-10 16:51:37
Imported:
2026-06

Content

I'm going back through Gods of Misfortune, recreating the universe "bible" that I lost when my computer died, taking my backup with it. It's going well, and I have book 1 scheduled for an Aug. 9th release and have booked editor time for book 2 in July, so hopefully that will follow not too long after. I'm about to start reading that one and updating my "bible" before I start book 3 where they actually get together.  But anyway... I thought I would ask for some feedback on the blurb.

- - - -

Regi has settled into a comfortable life away from his home and family and gods. By choosing to leave the Empire, he chose to leave all those behind and live alone and godless. Oh, he still claimed to follow Poque, goddess of wanderers, but he didn’t expect her to notice him as he worked on Coalition ships. However, when an improbable series of events strands his ship near a black hole with no engines and no communication, he must wonder if the gods’ first blessing—misfortune—has found him. If so, he needed to find the second blessing that followed, or the entire crew would die.

Dante had a rather uncomfortable life until aliens kidnapped him, and then it turned downright miserable, but when a ship shows up claiming to be law-enforcement from the Coalition, he wonders if life might improve. The security chief is kind with an expressive face and velvety skin, not that he’s noticing any of that. It’s just that he’s been alone for a long time and having someone touch him with kindness is stirring feelings Dante hasn’t felt for a long time. However, he doesn’t have time for foolishness when they’re on a pirate ship and trying to escape certain death. Danger first, deciding how to ask an alien out on a date second.

Comments

Simone (snowsim)

Only because it distracted me: "for a long time" repeated then "time" again in next line. Otherwise, it makes me eager to jump in!

SigrunC

Coming a bit late here, sorry about that ! Glad that these books will be out soon. Comment on blurb- in the first paragraph it changes from present tense (when a series of events strands him…) to past tense in the next sentence . Should continue with present tense (he needs to find the second blessing or the crew will die). Makes it more active & open-ended. 2nd paragraph - Maybe revise first sentence a bit to make it a bit shorter and punchier - something like “Dante’s life was uncomfortable before the aliens kidnapped him, and afterwards it was downright miserable.” then start a new sentence with When a coalition ship…. Other that that it sounds good, except I would replace the he’s in the sentence about the security chief with Dante’s as it might be unclear whether he is Dante or the security chief if someone is reading quickly. May then need to take out Dante in the following sentence. I almost wonder if the last sentence shouldn’t say “Survival first” or something similar, that makes it clear that they are dealing with the danger, not looking for it or enjoying it.