[Serious post] I'm thinking of canceling subs. (Patreon)

Hey guys, I've been doom spiraling since I started working on that cottontail pic and I wanted to spill some beans here. I wound down my public work under the name Smorepi and I've been focused for the last 2 months creating works for my main account, Imtwopie/Twopie, while also getting into streaming semi regularly, and I'm happy that I did!

This is the proudest I've felt in my own art in years. I've been able to push my poses and compositions so much more, I might even go so far as to say that I feel free in my own canvas again.

That being said, I feel shortsighted and overly optimistic for having promised a Patreon pic initially at one piece released exclusively here every two weeks, then I pulled that promise back to once a month. I promised that Cotton pic back in the middle of August, and I didn't get to start it until 2 weeks ago, almost exactly 30 days later! That pic felt like a total waste of time because I spent 2 weeks on it, it flopped publicly, I fucked the colors and design of Cotton's diner up, and I'm not really happy with the posing and her anatomy! I just spent half a month working on a dud, man!!!

For the last month, I've felt so so slow. That cotton pic was something I could've done in a week if this were july or august, but life has been getting in the way of my work flow so forcefully, I just don't have the time in my life to give to painting 8 hours a day anymore. Greater time restrictions on my painting schedule warms up the little red light of scrutiny that exists in my mind. It burns the joy out of my art. Numbers mean make or break, self-set deadlines fly by and I'm left feeling like a failure for not being able to meet my own expectations anymore.

So, I'm thinking of canceling my subs here and posting everything publicly over a couple week period. Afterwords, I'll either close this Patreon for good, or change it to Twopie so I can focus on my art while giving people the ability to still privately support me. I won't push for incentives or paid exclusives... Plain and simply put, It'll just be for people who like what I make and what to see me make more.

I know this is disappointing for you guys who held out that I would return to my old work any time soon. Wishing that I could keep up with appearances around fat vtuber art was a work of pure self sabotage, and I can't entertain it anymore! I have no love for working in this scene anymore, and I can't justify pretending like I'll come back soon so I can keep stringing you guys along for $2-5-20 a month.

I don't know, man. This feels like the right decision, but I want to give it a couple days. I'd recommend for anybody who wants to keep everything here, feel free to save any of my art here to your PCs and share it amongst your friends. There will 100% be art that I decide not to publicly post, and if I do decide to rebrand this account to Twopie, then I promise its all getting taken down.

This feels like the right call for where I'm at in life, but I want more time to think on this. If you love the art I've made here, screenshot and save this paragraph for posterity, and save everything I have ever posted here. If I go through with this and close my Patreon, or rebrand to Twopie, then its all going away; there's a lot of art here that won't be getting reposted publicly on twitter/bsky, so save everything you want, share it privately with your friends.

I just want to note that this Patreon has been up for, generally, around three years now! There's been a lot of dry times here, but I'm proud of the work I put in to keeping this regularly updated over the last two years. You guys have been nothing but kind to me, and I genuinely cannot thank you all enough for the support you give me. I live my life very financially lean, and the money I make here goes to paying a significant amount of my monthly expenses! There's been a lot of times in my life over the last three years that you guys have been the sole reason I could buy lunch, pay off my monthly student loans, afford my medicine at the pharmacy, etc.

Thank you guys, from the bottom of my heart, for sticking around with me for so long. I can't thank you enough for the love and support you've given me. Its a good time to figure out what the future has in stake for me, and I hope to see a lot of your names around in my future endeavors, whatever I may chose to do.

Sincerely,

-Smorepi