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Twilightmentary (Patreon)

Published:
2017-06-11 15:46:03
Imported:
2026-06
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  • Twilightmentary.mp3

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Content

On our second commentary track of 2017, we're jumping off the cliff and taking on the first film in the Twilight series—it's the WHM Twilightmentary! Strap in as we ask the hard questions like: Why doesn't that dad know what blankets are called? What is with Taylor Lautner's terrible wig? Why are none of these kids smoking weed? Who would upend their child's life for a minor league baseball player? And is that high school football legend MIKE. DEXTER.? PLUS: This film is a crash course in where not to have an orgasm. (Hint: Biology class!)

Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro. 

Files

Previews only

Comments

Ray

Her dad actually refers to Ranier beer as "vitamin R"

Hulk Savage

I watched/listened to this last night. I had never seen Twilight.

Jeremy F

Finally picked up the 5 movie collection for only $13 on Blu-ray. Looking forward to this

Nicole

I wonder if Robert Eggers is a fan.

Alexander DeMoll

I hate that I knew whenever a line was taken directly from the book.

Felipe Sobreiro

You guys are really down a dark path this month with Transformers and now this!

Charles W

Thanks for doing a commentary on a movie I actually own (and please don't ask why I own TWILIGHT).

Stephanie St Martin

Please do the whole series. My cheeks hurt from laughing so hard 😂

Krystal Kush

Please do the entire shebang. I need to hear you riff on suicidal Bella crashing motorbikes so she can hallucinate her vampire boyfriend.

Alex Emery

People said that Twilight was a bit close to necrophilia. Warm Bodies, same production company, said "hold my beer."

Alex Emery

They should have had Michael Shannon play Carlisle and forget to tell him not to be Richard Kuklinsky.

Alex Emery
>>5620398

I think i said I'd pay fifty a movie. They get really baaaad. The third wasn't actually that awful for a Twilight movie. I'm fine with revising a series. God Wicked is good.

Radah

Awesome commentary! I would love it if you did the entire series but would be happy if only the last two movies were done. They're absolutely crazy.

SquirrellyRage

Super funny commentary! And for everyone who is in the US, FYI Twilight is on netflix.

Rob Couch

I love you guys, so I don't want you to have to do the whole series. But . . . I LOVE you guys, so PLEASE do the whole series!

Alex Emery

Don't forget Warm Bodies and Maximum Ride ; apparently Summit does borderline beastiality and necrophilia movies regularly.

Mkaythanks

Please do the entire series! I know they're terrible and it's a straight up shit show by the end. You guys are right, the dialogue is taken directly from the books...yes, I read them all. The song played over the "falling in love" montage is supposed to be a lullaby Edward composed for Bella. 😅

Nicole Lechuga

Please, please, PLEASE do the entire series.

TJ Guiney

I'm still dying for ID4mentary, but these would be a great series to keep up.

Gerald

Great commentary!! And yes please do the entire series!!!!

Scarlett

Pleaaassseeeee do the entire series this was fucking fantastic!!!!!!!!!!

Lanna Marie

This was amazing! If you can stand to do more please do the whole series!

Felipe Sobreiro

Here's another vote for you continuing the series of commentaries. I can keep updating the cover art as you go

Janine McCargo

So I was re-watching the twilightmentary because I finally figured out which controller button turns on the subtitles in Netflix for the PS4 and as aside banter you guys were talking about Meat Loaf's "I'd do anything for love" video and didn't know who directed it. It was directed by Michael Bay. True story. Somebody's probably told you this on twitter, but just in case.

erik

I cant believe you guys are going to make me watch thing fucking movie, is my ex-girlfriend behind this ? 😜

Christopher Brielmaier

I don't think there's anything that can get me to watch this turd but a WHM commentary might change my mind. Might.

Michael Daniels

Watching this in 2021 and no, Rush Limbaugh is definitely not a vampire

Pierce Johnson
>>5800613

I actually saw this with my ex and it was much more enjoyable in the company of an attractive person.

Pierce Johnson

I vote no on continuing the series. I imagine a lot of us have obsessive tendencies, but this is something we have to leave unfinished. We can't go doing every bad movie series. The commentary was great, but I think the source material was worse than the movie with baby girl dance contest in mental hospital movie.

Allison
>>6167795

LOL 'baby girl dance contest in mental hospital' is the most awesome description of that movie. Also, I had to leave the room when watching it because it's terrible-ness made me SO angry!!