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Episode #842: Jurassic World: Rebirth (2025) (Patreon)

Published:
2026-01-20 05:00:04
Imported:
2026-01
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“It’s all melted together into one chocolate bar of horrible…” - Chris on the Jurassic World sequels

On this week’s episode, the gang’s heading down to the equator to take a dangerous boat ride with Scarlett Johansson and Mahershala Ali in the latest dino-centric sequel, Jurassic World: Rebirth!

Is this the most half-baked movie of last year? Why couldn’t ScarJo be a grown up version of Clone Girl from Fallen Kingdom? Why are we so obsessed with referencing the first movie? Why is the story engine just a lame video game plot? Did they have any idea what to do with this mutated dinosaur idea? And were they kidding with that Snickers product placement? PLUS: The Skeleton League touches down on the island to collect Dino-skeletons.

Jurassic World: Rebirth stars Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali, Jonathan Bailey, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Luna Blaise, David Iacono, Audrina Miranda, Philippine Velge, Bechir Sylvain, Ed Skrein, and Rupert Friend as Martin Krebs; directed by Gareth Edwards.

We hope you are enjoying AD-FREE WHM! Thanks so much for being the kick-ass Patreon subscriber that you are. Your support keeps the lights on around the old clubhouse and keeps us on the air. We know you have a lot of options for podcast enjoyment and we're stoked you chose to spend some time with us!

Grab your tickets now for the first leg of the 2026 tour! We’ll be in Los Angeles on 2/22, Minneapolis on 3/20 and Chicago on 3/22—don’t wait, snag those tix now!

Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

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Comments

johnny stocker

These are some I can't even watch along with for the episode. After the first one, I've lost about 50-75% interest with each subsequent sequel, so I think I'm in like the second or third decimal places of caring now.

Jan

What a beautiful mess this movie is. No story just names & rerun stuff. No exciting scenes and yet i wanna like it but somehow it just is the very worst movie. Worse than dominion. I don’t drink coffee

Robert

“Maybe your direct one of these, you fuck” Sing it, Eric

Matthew Lloyd

I switched off when Bridgerton guy said "its a sin" to kill these lab grown abominations

Matthew Lloyd

The giant frog trex thing was a complete waste.

Kureigu

If they had stuck to one storyline I think it would of been one of the best but the mercenary hunt for Dino dna and family lost on island stories mashed together ended up rushing and taking away from both.

Lar

My bestie and I just watched this without knowing y’all were doing this. And SO MANY TIMES they’d throw on the John Williams score and we’d go “oh you didn’t earn this” lololol like I was trying to explain the plot to my mom and I honestly couldn’t. Something something witchcraft to make a medicine??? Fuck if I know. What a mediocre film.

Lar

Every time it cut to the family my friend and I were like “genuinely who are these people and why should we care” like why didn’t the boyfriend or dad die? Or Mahershala? Or ScarJo? Like????

Lar

Also I’m so glad y’all made the Loomis joke because my friend and I were doing that the whole time too.

MrBonesMildBride

“Your snacking led to your own death, sir.” That’s the most relatable character in the franchise, Andrew. My chocolate-carbon footprint is immense and it shames me.

Craig

More than 20 minutes before we get our first husky ScarJo impression!

Tim O'

I really appreciate that we're still using the voice from the Lucy episode

Josh

Hot people in fairly well rendered locations was enough for me. Maybe the bar is just that low at this point.

MarkNM

Judging from the reaction in my theater, the T-Rex is still the star. Everybody still loves the T-Rex. The T-Rex, properly supported, can still kick ass. And yet it's reduced, like Aldo Ray, to making a tired--probably drunken-- appearance, in a movie that is beneath its former station.

Aaron Dowler

The biggest error this movie makes, which flies in the face of all evidence, is not everything having to do with dinosaurs in modern times but pushing this narrative that black ops mercenary psychos value human life at all!

Matt Watterson

More like Ali keeps the picture in his son-visor, amarite??? 🤗

James

Now I want WHM to cover more Mahershala Ali movies on the show just so we can get more updates from his agent on the Blade movie.

ediblegenius

Best thing that's come out of the jurassic park universe since the original JP is the battle at big rock short that came out a handful of years ago

Adam Ray

Haven't listened to the episode yet but before I do, ISN'T IT JUST SO FUNNY WHEN BAILEY'S CHARACTER CHEWS ON THAT ALTOID FOR 5 MINUTES?!?! COMEDY GOLD!

RonnieSoak

Thank you! I thought I was the only one. "Oh no, the rancor!" (Me, screaming to no one, as I was watching it by myself)

Billie Jackson

Although he appeared in a ton of dreck like Bog, wrt Aldo Ray this is best exemplified by his appearance in the 1979 adult film Sweet Savage.

Billie Jackson

Until then, at least there's his lead villain role in Luke Cage.

Sergio V. Grajeda

Lol. I imagined George Lucas face palming and saying something to Steven Spielberg. Like: "Hey man, that looks similar to one of my Rancors, buddy"!

Jason

I, for one, am excited for the T-Rex's string of low budget straight to streaming movies filmed in Budapest. T-Rex and Travolta in Maxium Cailber coming soon!

Jason

Andrew out here throwing barbs like my doctor. You eat one bag of peach gummy rings during your annual check-up and nobody let's you forget about it!

Hainsworthy

Rueben Blades has entered the chat.

MarkNM

T-Rex wants you to know that the recent GoFundMe to pay his back rent was a scam set up by his velociraptor former assistant.

Rose Esposito

When I first saw The Fabelmans I really thought the "if the horizon's in the middle, it's BORING" David Lynch bit was destined to become a WHM Classic Quote, but not so much. Is it now finally becoming a thing thanks to the SKELETONS??? and did anyone else see last year's Freaky Tales? I strongly feel it was Jay Ellis' Blade audition, and I am sold tbh. Luv Mahershala, but somehow I doubt this planned version is going anywhere.

Smaug

Andrew hating on 65 while recommending Jurassic World Colon Rebirth is fuckin wild

RJ Cunningham

The fuck happened to the buildings of NYC? I thought it was Miami at first yikes

Tru$tn01

In these skeleton movies, how would they, say, purchase something?

Clever Girl

Daniel Salazar aka Danny Boy?! Love him.

Clever Girl

I came here to make this joke. 😞

Clever Girl

If anyone has an uncle who looks like Mahershala Ali, please send me his info. I have loved him since he played Richard in the 4400.

Luke Witherell

I believe that in their world bones equal dollars. Heard it in a song once.

Craig

I have a feeling it goes back even further. Possibly an episode about a movie that didn’t even have her in it.

Emil Svensson

Larger bones, larger denominations?

Tala Hobballah

Eric I haven't stopped laughing at the Scarjo/epstein timing in the press I hope she never lives it down.

JK

Will never get tired of the ScarJo impressions

Sarah Montgomery

The secret of happiness is low expectations.

Richard Buttry

Great episode, but I can’t be the only person who had fun with how fucking goofy this thing was after the previous ones.

Ben Sharpe

Always love your Wishmaster Jinn impressions, Im waiting for Wishmaster Sausage Claus crossover

Matt Nelson

I know you guys probably get this a lot but every time the Skeleton Crew comes back, it makes me so happy, *every* time. Thank you, guys.

MrBonesMildBride

Teeth are the agreed upon currency in the SKELETON LEAGUE. Molars are most VALUABLE.

I.C. Weiner

I know you guys probably don't actually care but I believe Andrew mentioned the river scene was from one of the books, he was correct, it was from 1. Also, the convenience store scene is more or less from the second book. Almost all these movies feature one or two scenes from the books that weren't adapted yet but I think we have officially harvested all the meat from those books. Also, originally they did have a scene of the Titanosauruses fucking but they pulled it for some reason before release.

Clever Girl

Mahershala goes looking for his uncle, Wesley.

Clever Girl

Two Blades: The Hunt for Unc

Clever Girl

During the scene with the sleeping dino, Dr. Loomis should have whispered "get your ass away from there!" At the older daughter. Just go for it. Lean all the way into the nonsense.

J HEASLEY

Rogue one is one of the best star wars movies. Possibly the best.

We Hate Movies

It's OK to like a movie! I actually really really like Rogue One. The other guys don't. - Eric

Zack Gillespie

There needs to be a Skeleton League Patreon tier where you guys use only skeleton league voices. My fave bit hands down. You could call it We Skeletons Hate Movies.

Adam Tharpe

My wife and I nearly did full sitcom spit takes when Cabin riffed on ScarJo having to tell little “Adam” (me) and “Amelia” (my wife) about their dad getting eaten! 🤣

Tim O'

Rogue One is excellent. (I think Solo is fine, but it would have been much better if they'd made it 20 years earlier, with 1990s Woody Harrelson as young Han Solo and Paul Newman as the 2010s Woody Harrelson character.)

Tim O'

2 Blades 2 Furious

Nina

Making Eric yelling Nina my ringtone

stephen sammartino

I died laughing to this episode twice! I myself have been Bookered

Frank Grimes

I haven’t seen this yet, nor do I care to. But the way you’re describing the gas station and convenience store sounds like the last action part of the book The Lost World. Wish they’d made that story in 1997.

Dave Waters

The husky voiced ScarJo impression is cracking me up!

Dave Waters

I saw this in D-Box theater, which means the seats shook. I think that added to my enjoyment of the Dino stuff.

Dennis Stack

I love how Steve's ScarJo impression is like a more aggressive version of his Nic Cage 😂