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Episode #713: Love Actually (Patreon)

Published:
2023-12-19 05:00:04
Edited:
2025-08-21 18:46:35
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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Content

“He’s such an idiot for running right into this fucking turbine…” - Eric on Alan Rickman’s character’s adultery On this week’s episode, our mission to bring Holiday Cheer to you and yours is almost completely derailed with a jumbo-sized discussion on the bloated, miserable, obnoxious holiday fave, Love Actually! When is the feature-length Andrew Lincoln stalker film hitting Shudder? Why couldn’t someone tell Richard Curtis to pick less than 8 storylines for one film? Why couldn’t Laura Linney’s character get a happy ending? And how is that little kid getting away with all of this airport shenanigans so close after 9/11? PLUS: Elton John writes some sausage roll-related Christmas parodies to try and win the Christmas Number Ones contest!

Love Actually stars Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, Hugh Grant, Martine McCutcheon, Liam Neeson, Laura Linney, Rodrigo Santoro, Gregor Fisher, Colin Firth, Kris Marshall, Heike Makatsch, Martin Freeman, Joanna Page, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Andrew Lincoln, Keira Knightley, and Bill Nighy as Billy Mack; directed by Richard Curtis.

We hope you are enjoying Ad-Free WHM! Thanks so much for being the kick-ass Patreon subscriber that you are—your support keeps the lights on around the old clubhouse and allows us to continue doing these shows! We know you have a lot of options for podcast enjoyment and we're stoked you chose to spend some time with us!

Original cover art by Felipe Sobreiro.

Files

Comments

Brendan Kneeland

The idea of “steaming a cake” as British cuisine made me snort laugh 😂 well done Steven

Jorge Guerrero

Holy crap, three hours, is that a record?

Cody Downs

As long as any of the episodes they did on the original STAR WARS trilogy between 2018 & 2019

Alex Fry

Thank you guys for representing the bizarre culture of my home country at Christmas so accurately

Patrick caddy

Damn near 3 hours. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY

Jaime Lee Ezell

Come on back to the airport, everybody! 😆😆 Fantastic episode!!

Alex

FINALLY! Been waiting for this one since I discovered WHM!

MarkNM

This is what WHM's all about, Charlie Brown. Also cum jokes.

Matt

The best kind of episode - a movie I secretly like but know is hot hot garbage. Merry Christmas indeed!

Jason

They're just building up to break Sting's Tantric Sex record.

Smaug

The Nighy "I love you, you fat piece of crap," relationship always reminds me of that line from Spy where Jason Statham is lamenting Jude Law's death and Melissa McCarthy is pointing out that Statham always made fun of Jude Law and didn't even like him and Statham replies," it's called the rivalry of men and you wouldn't understand!" I appreciate Eric and Chris' take on the disgusting shit boy, I've always loathed this kid's story in the movie and I think he's weird af-looking. He has lifeless black eyes, like a doll's eyes, he comes after ya in the airport, doesn't seem to be livin'

Tala Hobballah

I've HATED this movie since it came out so the vindication I feel right now is **chef's kiss**

Joseph Xavier

Yessssss I bloody hate this abomination. Smug git Richard Curtis and all his sycophantic knobs! I hate hate hate that this typifies British/Englishness - bureeghhh 🤮🤮🤮🤮!

Ray

Bill Nighy is 74. He was probably 51-52 when making this. Dude says he's in his mid 50's and looks like the crypt keeper

Paul DeCoursey-Clark

Now Eric can introduce himself as 'ummm, Actually ... Eric Actually.'

Danielle Povlock

I’m excited to dig into this episode. I do an annual reading of Lindy West’s review of this film, sort of like some folks might do with Twas the Night Before Christmas. This episode is a fantastic companion piece.

Deano Rezzz

This is a WLM episode - a We Love-Actually Movies. My fave example of the Xmas No 1 in the UK is when uber-prick Simon Cowell tried to win it with his X Factor group but Rage Against the Machine swooped in and won it with a re-release of Killing in the Name Of.

Lance Flexington

I hope Eric's electrician makes a guest appearance soon

Austin Nealon

Another great episode! This film is one that's grown on me a bit after a couple revisits over the years, but I'd survive a Christmas just fine w/o watching it. The D-Theater tape (HD video on VHS) of this is extraordinarily rare, and it's the only format I own/watch this one on (likely won't be getting it on anything else).

Watch_N_Rewatch

Steve's hanging joke about Andrew Lincoln's character is the funniest thing I've heard today 🤣 love the roller coaster they took us through to get this EP over with

April

I just learned what “gooning” was like a week ago so I found this extra hilarious.

Jason

Best part of the episode is how "Gil Clush" almost sent Stephen to personally visit the Ghost of Christmas Future a few days early.

Infinite Terror

I don't have a chart or anything but that "I, Ray, am Vigo!" part of GB2 has come up a few times.

Busiris

Honestly didn't expect a late-in-the-year contender for funniest episode to be the episode about this movie, but I was bowled over during all the Elton John Christmas sausage songs! Truly hysterical stuff for a truly terrible movie.

John Edwards

Any episode featuring special guest star Mr. Fuck This Movie is an instant classic for me.

Rhea

After going through something similar to but worse than Emma Thompson this year I don't think I can watch this one again lol. Fuck Alan Rickman's character. Piece of shit. Also yeah the insane 'fat' comments and the fact that Kiera Knightly was only 18 in this... I think I hate this movie actually. Hate Actually.

The Great Wheel

My god was this a struggle to get through. What a terrible movie.

Mark D Myers

If I was forced to watch this movie with my mom I'd be a Christmas ghost.

Tim O'

Cum Actually

Craig

Andrew’s description of this as a “coupon movie” is perfect. It always felt like Curtis just wrote down a bunch of ideas for Christmas movies, realised none of them could be fleshed out to 90 minutes (but really tried with the Hugh Grant story) and so just shoved them all together.

Todd B

This is the first time I'd ever connected the dots that this movie was the brainchild of the co-creator of Blackadder. And good Lord, for a show from the late 80s/early 90s, it has aged one HELL of a lot better than this movie has.

Emily B

This feels like several WHM episodes in one. What a deal!! The Xerxes bit was killing me lmao

Shontel Moulton

Andrew Lincoln walks away to the theme from Roswell.... Feel like that was missed

Shut It Off

Did I miss them covering the Liam Neeson storyline?

We Hate Movies

It's been burned into my brain for nearly 35 years! - Andrew

We Hate Movies

Then you're gonna love the Prisoner of Azkabanmentary... - Andrew

Alex Fry

Sorry to report that Tony Blair was in fact marketed as a sexy man. He also bought in the most women MPs in the history of the UK who were referred to as “The Blair Babes”. Whereas now he’s just a renowned war criminal.

Craig

Ben Elton (creator of The Young Ones) came in from season two and transformed the show. He probably could have made this a better movie too!

Z

Subplots that go nowhere seem to be a reoccurring thing in Richard Curtis films, because I still remember the useless side story in the Mr. Bean movie involving Peter MacNicol trying to deal with his rebellious daughter while also putting up with Bean's shenanigans.

Zora McBride

Hell yeah, I have no idea what we're about to be in for! My girlfriend loves this movie, while admitting it's got plenty of problems. I can't wait to watch it together and experience the LOTR-length whm treatment!

Renee Maunder

My family tried with this one year, we got about 20 minutes in before we switched to a local channel playing an amateur Indian dance competition (we are Polish). Better movie.

Laura Coleman

I love this movie. So much. After 911 it’s what this then 20-something needed to cope with the trauma of it all. So, bah humbug and merry Christmas!

Felix Forrester

The only reason I know what gooning is is because of this song. The show kinda sucks but their fans are stupid talented. Had this song stuck in my head for hours after hearing you goons keep talking about gooning. https://youtu.be/eUEIczekP2c

Mitochondria

My ex made me watch this and actually liked it, should have been a red flag. The only part I liked was Alan Rickman, and if I was a hot young lady who worked with him I probably would have gone for it too 😆

Ajax

I almost attempted to watch this movie and you guys saved me. You save lives.

Darcy MacDonald

Every year my brother-in-law wants to argue that "God Only Knows" is a Christmas song. Not as in, "Die-Hard-is-a-Christmas-movie," but, "This song was written about Christmas and I'll die on this hill." The bell shaker is apparently the indisputable proof.