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30 Blessing (Patreon)

Published:
2025-06-09 07:56:50
Edited:
2026-03-15 11:21:32
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

[Removed per stubbing for Kindle Unlimited Release]

Comments

Giovanni Compagnoni

Hello there, love your work! Here however some criticism with the hope of highlighting a trend I found in the latest chapters that lower the quality of the story in my eyes. “Do you find me an incompetent goddess? A blind one?”' Now the question is, if I were a multi-centenarian old goodess, that has kept together, protected and inspired millions of people for a long time, that has fought and bested legendary individuals, surely with a well qualified circle of advisers, why would I ever care about the opinion of an 18 year old with a very limited experience of the world out there that I met 3 days ago, on a conundrums regarding self worth and the responsibilties/obligations of the Divine? So, two things, characters acting in opposition to what their background and logic's been shown to be, such as MC being so keen to start a friendship with his bully, or saying that he cares about the city as much as the son of the lord of said city for the wack reason of 3 people didn't spit on me during the 6580+ days I've lived there (now that i've been away for a week or two). I feel some aspects and priorities should be adjusted, motivations and insights tweaked. Or the villain assassin, head of a group of elite assassins monologuing instead of finishing the job, and physically attacking only the tank, or mentally attacking only the person with mental defences and MC with mental help - or not incapacitating the obviously resurrecting person instead of killing him. Or not taking the super important knife you were supposed to secure. Utter incompetence! If it was the only way of making this encounter work, it's probably too early to add it to the story, because it felt very unsatisfying. Or the aforementioned Goddess, that is not asked but _told_ to explain what a blessing is, with no reverence or respect, and doesn't act upon the disrespect/smite down the mortal - not that every god should be the same, but the setting was shown as 'everyone only expresses utmost respect and social anxiety when communicating with the goddess'. The second thing is that I find that making MC important and relevant in every situation is also lazy writing, like repeatedly glazing him for things that should be nothing special from the point of view of the people voicing those comments, such as 'wow MC your mind is really something' said the legendary immortals killer, that has faced and met by definition geniuses and outstanding people for millennia. I hope the criticicm is taken well as I mean nothing less than the success of the story! Best regards!

OstensibleMammal

Hi, thanks for the criticism. I am not bothered by it at all. I'll look through these details as well. One thing to note is the MC glazing. This is something I've been doing a bit more deliberately for this story (maybe a bit sloppily at times) mainly because it adds a bit more of the feel-good kick to things. I'll try to think of a more effective way to present this sometimes, perhaps. The character moments, I'll look over and consider.

Giovanni Compagnoni

<3 Hello! Just to add context on what I personally find frustrating regarding the glazing point - some of the most satisfying things to read in the progression fantasy genre are when you finally get to those dramatic moments/epic rewards/smart plans/unique powers, when the edge is shown, the brilliance etc... as a consequence, I believe that if everything is described as incredible and special (also things that are not) then nothing is, and those cool moments by contrast are diminished. I love both your other works btw. Have a nice day!

SirWins

Man. I was about to write a long paragraph telling these exact same critiques. But you said it better than could. And I absolutely concur with all of these criticisms.

SirWins

Giovanni was spot on with that feedback. It was very odd for a goddess to open herself to a bunch of teens. Very very odd. Why would she ever even think of showing a vulnerable side to surface dwelling humans? And the reassurance was even more laughable. Like what? An 18 year old giving reassurance to a centuries old goddess? Just odd. I feel like the composer is overrated. She was hyped before we met her through the exposition. But man is she a disappointment. There is no gravitas to her. In godclads all the powerful formidable being had aura/gravitas to them you could feel it in the writing.

Tock Blue

I think the best balanced moments there are where you show, as in this chapter a little with valor to Adam, that the MC is not the be all. that others have strength. I think tweaks to the composer, to valor, the automata instructor could strengthen the story. the biomancers and high vampire and harkness being able to do things he categorically can't strengthens it. let him grow faster than others, be unusually resilient. but let others shine for their experience, varying pov or focus, or abilities. the scribe skull in your other book was a good example - another path to power, another set of ethics.

Tock Blue

re: Adam, I think that it plays out well. mc has connections, has his people. doesn't take much to feel strongly about Home, and doesn't have the noblesse oblige or loyalty to the republic. for feel good picaresque I think OM has balanced that well, they're very different characters who have been plopped onto a roller coaster together.