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Hey folks,

as promised. I took the weekend to rewrite the story and take my time with it. I completely changed it after the first 2-3 pages. Added more pages and changed the overall story.

Should be better now. 

The old version of the story is still available if you prefer it. 

There will be no further changes to the Tohru set. Moving on to the Makise Set.

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Comments

Rob the Hungry

loving the new story any chance of this getting a sequel showing the fates of kanna and kobayashi?

Tonk

Kobayashi: Not unless she gets selected to join the poll rooster. Kanna: Not happening. Too young of a character.

Re-Maker

Welp, I did like the previous version enough already, but I definately appreciate the improvements you done

Rob the Hungry

it doesn't have to be a full sequel more like a short epilogue centuries later of both tohru and kobayashi abandoned in a dump similar to the jean of arc epilogue. you could even make it an option for the single image poll have the patreons decide the epilogue.

Zakuzelo

Much better. Thanks for that.

Spicy-Tacos

Really great! The new story is a lot better. Love the improvements you added.