Chasing Butteflies Chapter 55: Trial After Trial (Patreon)

Olivia sat by the front sideline of the painted practice field, staring vacantly across its green and brown mottled surface. The shining gold and silver forms of so many instruments sparkled in the sunlight where they lay.

This is so absurd. So, so absurd that it's almost unbelievable.

Intellectually, she'd known about the baseless and over-the-top nature of teenage gossip. Even if she'd been pretty safely inured to it last time around, she had enough examples from pop culture to educate her on what she'd missed. Yet she'd always taken those examples as exaggerations, impossibly over-the-top dramatizations with only a few tender roots in reality. Seeing it in action was an entirely different matter—especially when that gossip applied to her.

It's not just that it's patently false. That's part of it, sure, but that I can get. What really gets me is that no one seems even remotely interested in finding out the truth.

She didn't recall seeing a single other band kid at the party, which should have meant a lack of primary sources. That anyone spreading rumors about it couldn't be taken at face value, since they clearly didn't know what they were talking about. However, it also meant that there was no one to vouch for her actions that night. No one in this group, at least. And she somehow suspected that most of these kids weren't in regular contact with the football players, cheerleaders, and other popular kids.

Even if they are. Even if I can get someone to correct the record... Would it really matter?

She thought back to Emma's reaction. Even the flute, someone who she’d thought of as her friend or at least on her side, hadn't done more than shrug at her denial. As though her side of the story didn't really matter.

Which makes sense, given that no one else is clamoring for it, either. I suppose I should just be happy she even approached me about it. Though it really felt like she just wanted more juicy details.

Olivia let out a long breath and lay back on the grass. It seemed that drama was far more interesting than the truth. And if that was the case, what could she really do about it? Go on a crusade to correct the record? Hardly. She knew how that would go. That would just prolong the topic, or worse, make everything stick even harder due to her protests. Then what, simply wait for it to go away, for some spicier story to take the headlines?

She started humming under her breath. A nostalgic song, one that seemed oddly fitting for the situation. It had been an anthem for rebellious teenagers railing against overbearing, pearl-clutching adults who treated them as problems more than individuals. But for the first time, she found just a glimmer of sympathy within herself for those adults.

Teenagers really can be terrifying... Actually, this song isn't actually that old, is it? When did it come out again?

"Whatcha humming?"

Olivia started at the sudden intrusion. A head popped into her field of view, blocking the sun from her face. Light streamed through the strands of technicolor hair that fell into her vision.

"Oh! Hey, Lexi. It's nothing." She quickly covered. "Just a song I'd heard."

I hope that I've heard it at this point. I really need to do a deep dive on current music, just to get my facts straight.

Luckily, Lexi didn't press. "Hmmm. Whatever."

The girl straightened. Rather than leave it at that, Lexi took a couple steps around to plop down next to Olivia on the grass. Her “exercise shirt” was really a tee for some emo band with the sleeves cut off, its black and white color scheme contrasting with her everpresent rainbow bracelets and hair.

"Just so you know," Lexi said suddenly. "Not everyone believes the shit those bee-otches are spouting. Some of us actually have brains."

The girl gave a pointed look over her shoulder at Alyssa. Olivia blinked in surprise. She hadn't talked to Lexi much since that first day, when the girl had helped Olivia find her classes. She’d seen the trombone around during practice, but old Olivia had never really talked with her much, so seeking her out wasn’t in the cards. And yet despite that, the girl had once again made it a point to seek Olivia out and offer some support.

"...Thanks," Olivia said. "It's really fine, though. I'm just... a little annoyed, is all."

Lexi snorted. "You should be. But Alyssa's always been like that. I hear she came in with the biggest section of flutes in forever, then ran them all out. Totally made life hell for them, just to get section leader. Naomi's the only one who stayed because she couldn't care less."

"Huh," Olivia said. It wouldn't surprise her, though she also hesitated to put any real stock in the story. Even setting aside the fact that Lexi was spreading a rumor, just as Alyssa had.

Though the more she looked, the more it became clear that Olivia wasn't the only one at odds with her section leader. She'd already seen the fractures within the flutes. The sophomores and one of the two juniors clearly didn't like her, either. It only made sense that would extend to the rest of the band.

That means there's probably some drama between the two juniors then, over who will be section leader next year... Ugh. I absolutely do not want to be involved in that.

"Here we go!"

Coach Brian's call was echoed by the drum majors as they urged the band back onto the field. Olivia stood and brushed herself off. "Thanks, Lexi. Really. I appreciate you coming over."

Lexi just shrugged. "Meh. It's whatever."

Olivia jogged back to her place as the rest of the band sauntered onto the field. But to her surprise, a few other people jogged with her. That was new. Usually, she felt like a bit of a tryhard when she hustled.

She met the eyes of one of the trumpets who'd hurried after her. The boy grinned. "You got a head start. Next time, I'll beat you."

Olivia's eyebrow rose. "I didn't know it was a race."

"Why not? If you didn’t wanna race, you shouldn’t have ran!"

She couldn't help but chuckle a bit. That was fine with her. Anything to get her mind off of this pregnancy nonsense.

Though it does make me wonder... If it's that easy to start a rumor, then maybe that's what happened to Trisha, too? Maybe all of that hubbub was completely wrong about her. At this point, it wouldn't surprise me.

"Set!"

The band snapped to attention. Olivia pushed the thoughts aside once again, more than happy to think about something else for a change. Right now, it was time for music.

***

That night, Olivia found herself sitting around the table with her mom and dad, boxes of Chinese food piled high between them. It was a surprise, as usual, and luckily she hadn't quite gotten around to putting the chicken she'd been marinating on the stove when Chandra burst through the garage door. It would keep until tomorrow.

Chandra finished regaling them with a story about her coworkers' efforts to hide their lunches from office thieves—something just disconnected enough from business talk that her dad didn't object. Then, she picked up her chopsticks and turned a cheery smile onto Olivia. "So! How was your week, sweetie? Anything special happen?"

She thought about it. Alyssa's antics had definitely put a damper on things, but aside from that...

"Pretty good, overall. As for special... I mean, the doctor's visit probably counts there, but—"

"Doctor's visit? Were you sick?" Chandra cut in. She looked between her daughter and husband with obvious concern.

"Oh! No, nothing like that. I was just going to get a blood test. For diabetes?"

Chandra froze, chow mein dangling from chopsticks that were halfway to her mouth. "Diabetes?"

Oh, shoot. I didn't tell her about that whole thing, did I?

A wave of guilt washed over her. It wasn't entirely warranted—after all, there hadn't exactly been a lot of opportunities for her to talk with her mom, not beyond a quick "hello" or "goodbye" on occasion. Still...

I know it's not my fault. Not entirely. But I could be making more of an effort to check in with her, to reach out when she forgets. Or take better advantage of those brief times I do see her, rather than let them slip away.

Part of her shied away from the idea, hiding behind the excuse of timeline consistency and keeping things the same. Wasn't this more in line with what she'd done before? Yet those excuses were becoming more and more hollow with each passing day, as each little ripple she made intensified into larger and larger waves.

Olivia gave her mom a brief update on the whole food situation. When she'd finished, Chandra was quiet for a long moment. Then her smile returned. "Well! That's certainly a surprise. And absolutely fascinating. Your grandmother was one thing, of course, but I myself never noticed such symptoms—I wonder if it skipped a generation, or if there are simply dietary differences in our upbringings that caused different results? Maybe I should get tested myself, just to help answer some of those questions! Once your results come back and we confirm things, of course..."

Chandra quickly returned to her usual animated self, all abuzz about the new development. Olivia glanced to the side. Her dad had remained silent during the whole exchange, and she couldn't help but notice the slight air of disapproval radiating off him. Not directed at Olivia, of course. It was clearly directed at his wife.

The tension in the room was clear—so clear that Olivia had no idea how she'd never noticed it before.

...It's because they're not together enough for me to notice. Which is a massive problem in itself.

Now that they were, the ticking time bomb of their relationship came into full focus once more, demanding her attention. She wracked her brain for more information about the divorce—specific trigger events, dates, things like that—but came up short. All she could remember was that it took place near the end of freshman year. Whatever inciting incidents led up to it happened out of her sight, or simply had escaped notice in her younger self's naive mind. Maybe she even blocked them out.

...What do I do about it?

Before, she'd been able to shelve the question. It was a long way off, and she had enough immediate concerns to worry about. At least, she had before. Now that she'd made more than a few possibly major changes to the timeline, it was much harder to ignore the situation before her.

Can I even justify letting this happen, with everything else I've let slide?

The obvious answer was no. The fact that she didn't have an active role to play in the divorce—if her parents were to be believed—didn't make things any easier, either. It meant that simply sitting back would inevitably lead to watching this train wreck play out in slow motion. Something that bothered her deeply.

This was one of her biggest sticking points with walking the tightrope of her old life. It was right up there with turning down Lance, at least when it came to current events. But she'd already let herself deviate there. What justification did she really have for letting this happen?

Lance was one thing. That relationship would've ended anyway, so I could make the argument that it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme. But this... If my parents stay together, that completely changes the trajectory of my life, not to mention theirs.

She only half-listened to her mom's chattering. The rest of her wrestled with the problem at hand.

Maybe I need to stop thinking about whether I should stop it. It's not like I want it to happen. But if I did want to keep them together... could I? Can I really change things?

"Well! I suppose that explains why you haven't so much as touched the orange chicken," Chandra chuckled. "Why, as tasty as that sauce is, I can't imagine the amount of sugar that goes into it."

Olivia forced herself to climb out of her own head and rejoin the conversation. She offered her mom a slight smile. "Right."

"Well, if you have any requests for next time, you let me know. I'll make a note to grab them just for you!" Chandra beamed. "Anything else fun coming up?"

She thought for a moment. "Not really? Unless you count waiting for my test results as 'fun'..."

"What about for band?" Her dad prodded. "Aren't you looking forward to something on that front?"

"The first tournament?" Olivia asked. "True. But that's not for another few weeks."

"Oh, how delightful!" Chandra clapped her hands together enthusiastically. "Best of luck to both you and the rest of the band. Knock it out of the park!"

Her mom twirled the chopsticks in her grip and darted them toward her plate, deftly snagging another piece of orange chicken. That was it. They could just leave it at that, move onto a different topic. And yet...

...I can't do it. I can't just leave things like this.

Could she change the trajectory of her parents' marriage? Maybe not. She was "just a kid," after all. Despite being so close to the problem, maybe things had already slipped too far to be recoverable. But that didn't give her an excuse not to try just a little bit.

Worst case scenario, nothing changes, but I'll still be able to say that I tried. That I made an effort to reach out to my mom, rather than just letting her drift away even further than she already has. At least my conscience will be clean.

Olivia swallowed a bite of beef. "Do you... want to come?"

Chandra perked up. "What a wonderful idea! Oh, but what day is it again?" She was already pulling the sleek Raspberry phone from her hip. "We have a huge investor meeting coming up, and everyone's scrambling to get a few last rounds of results in. It's to the point where even I'm considering rolling up my sleeves and getting back in the lab! My team could certainly use the manpower—"

"Can you check your phone after dinner?" Olivia's dad gently reprimanded her.

"It'll be quick. I'm just checking the date." Chandra reassured him, tapping away rapidly.

"It's on September 30th," Olivia supplied. "But I wouldn't ask you to come to the whole thing. It'll be an all-day event, and we'll be busy enough that I wouldn't be able to talk or anything until well after we're done performing. But maybe you can come for awards? Or if that's too early, we can all get together and do something afterwards?"

Olivia tried to keep the note of hope out of her voice. It wasn't a big deal. It didn't really matter one way or another whether her mom came to the event. It wasn't the kind of thing she'd ever cared much about, never held against her. At least, that's what she always told herself. Though Olivia had always made damn sure to be there for every one of the boys' teeball games and school performances, no matter how trivial they sometimes seemed.

No, what mattered to her wasn't her mom being there. She just hoped that the woman would look up for a moment, just long enough to see how astray her priorities had gone. How deeply she'd allowed herself to fall into the hungry, insatiable pit of her career while her family drifted further and further out of reach.

Please. Before it's too late.

Chandra pursed her lips for a moment. "Hmmm... That's two days before the presentation..."

She trailed off. Her thumbs continued tapping across the keyboard, although she'd clearly finished checking the date. A few seconds of silence turned into a minute as the soft clicks of the keypad filled the air like the soft cracking of glass.

Her husband's expression darkened. The longer he sat, the more his impatience became clear. Before he could speak, Olivia cleared her throat. "Mom?"

Chandra glanced up at her daughter as though coming out of a trance. "What? Oh! Sorry, I got a little distracted..."

"...Do you think you can make it?" Olivia asked again. "Please?"

Chandra opened her mouth to respond, then paused. Her furrowed brow softened as she looked at Olivia, her thumbs finally falling still. A flash of remorse flickered across her expression, the smallest crack in the woman's professionally cheery demeanor. The slightest opening.

She smiled sadly. When she spoke, it was with uncharacteristic seriousness. "I'll do my best, sweetie. That, I promise."

Olivia smiled. "Thank you. That's all I can ask."

Chandra tucked away her phone and exchanged it for chopsticks once more. Some of the tension in the air seemed to disperse as they continued their meal. Even her dad seemed to soften slightly after the conversation, talking about the week at his garden store.

It wasn't much. But it certainly felt like a step in the right direction.