Episode 147: A CLASH OF KINGS, THEON VI: "The Noose" SHOW NOTES! (Patreon)

Hello and welcome to the Not A Cast … podcast: the one true chapter-by-chapter podcast going through A Song of Ice and Fire one chapter a week. I’m one of your hosts Jeff better known as BryndenBFish.

And I’m your other host Emmett, better known as PoorQuentyn.

Welcome to the one hundred and forty-seventh episode of the Not A Cast, titled: “The Noose: An Analysis of ACOK, Theon VI,” in which Theon continues to be the worst person in the world, only for someone even worse to show up and break his face.

This episode is brought to you by our NotASmallCouncil:

• Hand of the King WolfmanZack
• Grandmaester Timbob, troubleshooter of systems and designer of circuit boards
• Lord Commander of the Kingsguard Mark N.
• Ser Keith J, Master of Whisperers
• Lord Philip the Merciful, Master of Laws
• Archmaester June, Healer of the Lesser Poxes
• Ragged Michael, Warden of the North
• Nelson the Hammer, Prince of Dragonstone
• Scarlett the Other Red Woman and Mistress of Whisperers
• Lord Micah, the Quilled Lion, Warden of the West, Herald of the Golden Tooth, Master of the Banefort and the Kraken’s Bane
• Lord James: the Jim that was Promised
• Lord Jake, Assistant (to the) Hand of the King
• Lady Xena Valyrian
• Ser Jack, Lord of Ser Arthur Dayne and Prince Rhaegar Targaryen's Sad Prophecy Boys Club
• His Grace’s High Inquisitor Frank
• Laurence, Prince of Dorne
• Kelly, Warden of the East and Mistress of (Old) Bay of Crabs
• Steven the Steadfast, Master of Hounds
• The Blue Winter Rose Knight of Highgarden
• Lady Stephanie
• Lord Carlos
• Lord Andrew the Restless, a Priest of the Drowned God
• Ser Sourcedelica
• Sugar Tits Dent the Troglodyte Warrior, formerly known as Low Energy Dent, True Master of the Banefort and True Master of Coin
• Lord Penchant for Nostalgia
• Queer Alex, Beyonce's Favorite Stan and Bastard of Chromatica, Rainbow Commander of the Theydes and Gentlethems
• Haldivar, The Waiter for TWOW
• A-a-ron Damphair Prophet of the Forsaken and High Priest of Euron Crows Eye
• Lieutenant Glenn Lord of H town
• Vanerys of the House Colgaryen, the First of Her Name, Princess of Dragonstone, Mistress of Art, The Overworked, Queen of the Pencils, the Eraser and the First Draft, Queen of Monochrome, Devotee of the Great GOT, Portraitist of the Realm, Lady Realist of the Seven Kingdoms, Blender of Paints, Maker of Drawings and the Michaelangelo of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
• Lord Adam T
• Lady Alexandra of Tarth
• Ser Kristoph Logas, Bloody Scorpion of the Red Field, Defender of the Letter of Kin, and the Wolverine of house Qorgyle
• Lady Elizabeth, Mistress of Horse (Faced Lesbians)
• Ser Josh Snow Bastard Bounty Hunter of the North
• Ser Veyor, Chief of Parties in the Frozen Wastes
• Lord Peter
• The Dead Sheppard Reborn, Preacher of the Poor Fellows
• Marshall Harrison—Absent, shipwrecked in the Jade Sea
• Grave-Robb Stark, the Cadaver King and Horror of Harrenhal
• Olaf, proponent of establishing a feudal, pseudodemocratic system of Great Councils, wherein every count votes
• Ser Tim: The Knight Who Was Guided By Voices
• Lord Nick
• Thucydides, Lord of Plagues
• Ser Jack, Lord of Ser Arthur Dayne and Prince Rhaegar Targaryen’s Sad Prophecy Boys Club
• Lady Anna, The Lovely Castellan
• Pat Yronwood, the bloodroyal and guardian of the Boneway
• Lord Charles Tyrell of Highgarden, Lord Paramount of the Mander, Defender of the Marches, High Marshal of the Reach, Warden of the South, and The Heir of House Tyrell
• Luke, Lord of Lone Leaf & The Pillar of Autumn
• Master of Zorse
• Joe Snow “King of the Metro North and protector of the Tri-State”
• Squire Matt S, future Ser Matt S, the one who will bring balance to the Kingdoms
• BWord, Queen Beyond the Wall
• Lord Kyle
• Lord Samuel Seaworth
• Ser Max, Lord Commander of the Constitutional Guard
• Blackberry the Bold, Champion of Feel Good Times
• Lady Ivory Dayne, aspiring noble author in the seven kingdoms, lady of Starfall, wardeness of the south, and patron of freewheeling bisexuals
• Lady Jemisa, She Who Suggests That Coconuts Migrate
• Lord Kristoff of Arendelle, official ice master and deliverer, the valiant pungent reindeer king, keeper of feisty pants, and prince consort to his ginger sweet love Queen Anna (Pronounced Ah-nuh)
• Lord Sir Septon Ruthers

Spoiler warning: All published books, 5 novels, 3 Dunk and Egg novellas, histories, interviews, TWOW sample chapters, as well as Game of Thrones the TV show. Anything and everything!

Question

So, we have a question from Ser Tim the Knight who was guided by voices that will be our discussion topic for this episode, but here we wanted to read some of the reviews you all have left for us as we appreciate those who take the time to write reviews for us and wanted to read them aloud as a small way of saying thanks.

Our first review comes from Atlas, our Lady of Knowledge who writes:

I had already read this series three times before coming across this podcast and deciding to reread it for a fourth along with the two podcast hosts. Their insights are always shed new light on a series I always thought I already knew forwards and backwards and provide an extra level of depth to a story already full of depth. I have a new appreciation for all the characters thanks to this podcast. And I can’t wait for the day Jeff finally admits that Sansa Stark is his favorite character. Muhahaha.

Sweet Melisia writes:

These guys provide a very detailed analysis of ASOIAF. I love that you can tell how much work they put into their research. They know their stuff and I appreciate their devotion to their craft.

Lady Veronica, the abandoner of the children at the Inn at the Crossroads, writes:

This podcast is poetic analysis, informed discussion and amazingly relatable commentary on the greatest fantasy series of all time. And I’m pretty addicted to it.

It’s a shame they’re such Stannis haters, I can understand where they’re coming from a lot of the time but they sure do keep the Stannis talk to a MINIMUM. They never bring him up unless they have to.

I just had one question though that has never been answered. Did Jeff go to war? Also who is Jeff?

Finally, for today, Karamariee, writes:

I found this podcast while going through some kinda spiritual awakening type thing last year and thought “ah this will be good easy listening to balance me out.” WRONG. Who would have thought a podcast about a fantasy series could get so deep? I find myself saying along “AMEN, brother,” and meaning it.

Not only do these guys dig deep into literary analysis, military/global history, cultural issues, and the human condition, they’re also just perfectly matched hosts — each bringing a clever perspective to the table in their own unique ways. The only thing I question is HOW DOES JEFF TALK SO FAST?? It’s a mystery. This podcast is truly a joy to listen to. Thank you!

So, thank you to everyone who leaves reviews for us. We read all of them, and we appreciate all the feedback. As we sometimes say: reviews are the best way for other people to find our podcast, and more importantly, they make us laugh and smile.

Yes indeed. Keep it up! And for patrons, our next patreon-only bonus episode “Already Dead”: our analysis of Man of Steel will be out for all of our Poor Fellow and above patrons will be out starting on Thursday, March 26th! But enough about reviews and patreon. When we last checked in with Theon, he had done some rape, sent Reek out to round up the boys and murdered some children. But hey at least the kids weren’t Bran and Rickon? (No) Let’s find out if actions continue to have consequences in this synopsis of ACOK, Theon VI!

Synopsis

Maester Luwin came to him when the first scouts were seen outside the walls. "My lord prince," he said, "you must yield."

Theon stared at the platter of oakcakes, honey, and blood sausage they'd brought him to break his fast. Another sleepless night had left his nerves raw, and the very sight of food sickened him. "There has been no reply from my uncle?"

"None," the maester said. "Nor from your father on Pyke."

"Send more birds."

"It will not serve. By the time the birds reach-"

"Send them!"

Well this is ending in a completely unexpected outcome with Theon trapped in Winterfell, cut off from his family and facing almost certain death. How did this happen?

Theon knocks his food aside and gets out of bed naked and angry. He wonders if Luwin wants him dead. No. Luwin serves, but not just Theon. He serves the realm and Winterfell. Now, Luwin doesn’t exactly like Theon, but he doesn’t hate him either. He’s bound by oath to serve the castle and realm, to counsel whoever holds Winterfell. And now he’s counseling Theon to fucking yield, bro.

Instead, Theon gets a pile of clothes off the ground, and … god dammit, Theon. Put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket. He shakes out the dirty clothes and then thinks he needs clean clothes. WEX!

Luwin goes on to say that Theon is not going to make it. The northmen are going to take the castle by assaulting it in a hundred places, and Balon is not going to help out. If he’s doing anything, and he’s not, he’s going to try to hold the Neck. Luwin counsels Theon to ask for mercy from the northmen, and the maester knows a way. But before Luwin can tell him the way, Theon blusters that he’s a big strong ironborn. Send the birds like Theon commanded. He wants his armor cleaned, and his garrison in formation out in the yard. Luwin reluctantly agrees. And then we’re down to the yard to hear Theon’s battle speech.

"The northmen will be on us before nightfall," he told them. "Ser Rodrik Cassel and all the lords who have come to his call. I will not run from them. I took this castle and I mean to hold it, to live or die as Prince of Winterfell. But I will not command any man to die with me. If you leave now, before Ser Rodrik's main force is upon us, there's still a chance you may win free." He unsheathed his longsword and drew a line in the dirt. "Those who would stay and fight, step forward."

Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross music thumping in his head at how epic that shit he just said was, he waits. But no one says anything. They stand around, looking at each other. Theon is very understandably upset that no one wants to be a part of his suicide pact and thinks that he’s been, wait for it, forsaken by his family. He’ll have to do this alone.

But then Wex comes forward, and then Black Lorren and a bunch of consonant-and-vowel-named ironborn shitheads step forward. (Seriously, their names are Kromm and fucking Werlag? I cannot get over this fact from Theon chapters).  Theon has a grand total of seventeen bros on his side, but the ten that Asha sent are a no. Theon tells them to get lost and go back to Asha. So, they all leave, and Theon orders his seventeen bros to man the walls. If they survive, he’s going to remember them. I’m sure they’re all moved.

Black Lorren stays behind and tells Theon that the castle is going to fuck them up as soon as the attack is launched. Theon knows this, but what should he do? According to Lorren: kick ‘em all out. But Theon doesn’t want to do this.

“Is the noose ready?"

"It is. You mean to use it?"

"Do you know a better way?"

"Aye. I'll take my axe and stand on that drawbridge, and let them come try me. One at a time, two, three, it makes no matter. None will pass the moat while I still draw breath."

He means to die, thought Theon. It's not victory he wants, it's an end worthy of a song. "We'll use the noose."

"As you say," Lorren replied, contempt in his eyes.

Surely, Lorren is most concerned about the ethics of using a noose and not for some rape-rob-murder-ironborn reason, right?

Wex gets Theon ready for battle by getting his armor on, and then Theon goes to take a lookout from the watchtower. He sees the northmen have come and are encircling the castle with probably two thousand men. And they were in the process of constructing a lot of siege weapons and would build additional siege engines from the wood in the wolfswood. And which houses had come to attack Theon?

The Cerwyn battle-axe flapped bravely wherever he looked, and there were Tallhart trees as well, and mermen from White Harbor. Less common were the sigils of Flint and Karstark. Here and there he even saw the bull moose of the Hornwoods. But no Glovers, Asha saw to them, no Boltons from the Dreadfort, no Umbers come down from the shadow of the Wall. Not that they were needed. Soon enough the boy Cley Cerwyn appeared before the gates carrying a peace banner on a tall staff, to announce that Ser Rodrik Cassel wished to parley with Theon Turncloak.

Turncloak. The name was bitter as bile. He had gone to Pyke to lead his father's longships against Lannisport, he remembered. "I shall be out shortly," he shouted down. "Alone."

Weird that Theon had gone to Pyke to do something but had ended up doing something else. And now everyone was so mad about that. It didn’t make sense.

Anyways, Black Lorren didn’t like the order, thinking that Ser Rodrik wouldn’t keep his word with someone he thought was an outlaw. Theon finds this OUTRAGEOUS! He’s the Prince of Winterfell and Heir to Pyke. He orders Lorren to get the girl. Lorren gives him another “murderous stare”, and Theon realizes that Lorren hates him too. Everyone hates Theon. It’s a venerable #mood. He was about to die friendless and alone. So, he had to live.

Theon heads out to the gatehouse with his ugly-ass crown on, and Theon knows that the people of Winterfell hate him as they watch him go by.

When the drawbridge was lowered, a chill wind sighed across the moat. The touch of it made him shiver. It is the cold, nothing more, Theon told himself, a shiver, not a tremble. Even brave men shiver. Into the teeth of that wind he rode, under the portcullis, over the drawbridge. The outer gates swung open to let him pass. As he emerged beneath the walls, he could sense the boys watching from the empty sockets where their eyes had been.

Beyond the portcullis and in the market was Ser Rodrik ahorse with a Stark banner carried by Cley Cerwyn. From the houses were archers. Spearmen to the right and Manderly knights to his left. And Theon realizes that everyone here not only hates him. They want him dead.

"Ser Rodrik." Theon reined to a halt. "It grieves me that we must meet as foes."

"My own grief is that I must wait a while to hang you." The old knight spat onto the muddy ground. "Theon Turncloak."

"I am a Greyjoy of Pyke," Theon reminded him. "The cloak my father swaddled me in bore a kraken, not a direwolf."

"For ten years you have been a ward of Stark."

"Hostage and prisoner, I call it."

Rodrik remarks that if Theon was a prisoner, Ned would have thrown Theon into a dungeon, but instead Ned raised Theon as a son, like the sons of Ned that Theon had definitely murdered. Rodrik wishes he could kill Theon now. But Theon is here to parlay. What does Rodrik want?

"Two things," the old man said. "Winterfell, and your life. Command your men to open the gates and lay down their arms. Those who murdered no children shall be free to walk away, but you shall be held for King Robb's justice. May the gods take pity on you when he returns."

"Robb will never look on Winterfell again," Theon promised. "He will break himself on Moat Cailin, as every southron army has done for ten thousand years. We hold the north now, ser."

Ah, but the Ironborn only hold three castles, and Rodrik is taking Winterfell now. Theon then decides to offer his own terms:

"Here are my terms. You have until evenfall to disperse. Those who swear fealty to Balon Greyjoy as their king and to myself as Prince of Winterfell will be confirmed in their rights and properties and suffer no harm. Those who defy us will be destroyed."

Young Cerwyn was incredulous. "Are you mad, Greyjoy?"

Ser Rodrik shook his head. "Only vain, lad. Theon has always had too lofty an opinion of himself, I fear." The old man jabbed a finger at him. "Do not imagine that I need wait for Robb to fight his way up the Neck to deal with the likes of you. I have near two thousand men with me . . . and if the tales be true, you have no more than fifty."

Theon thinks he only has seventeen, but then he smiles and says he has something else. He signals with his hand to Black Lorren.

The walls of Winterfell were behind him, but Ser Rodrik faced them squarely and could not fail to see. Theon watched his face. When his chin quivered under those stiff white whiskers, he knew just what the old man was seeing. He is not surprised, he thought with sadness, but the fear is there.

"This is craven," Ser Rodrik said. "To use a child so . . . this is despicable."

"Oh, I know," said Theon. "It's a dish I tasted myself, or have you forgotten? I was ten when I was taken from my father's house, to make certain he would raise no more rebellions."

"It is not the same!"

Theon's face was impassive. "The noose I wore was not made of hempen rope, that's true enough, but I felt it all the same. And it chafed, Ser Rodrik. It chafed me raw." He had never quite realized that until now, but as the words came spilling out he saw the truth of them.

Rodrik angrily declares that Theon was never hurt. Yup. And the same will hold true for Beth Cassel as long as ...

Ser Rodrik never gave him the chance to finish. "Viper," the knight declared, his face red with rage beneath those white whiskers. "I gave you the chance to save your men and die with some small shred of honor, Turncloak. I should have known that was too much to ask of a childkiller." His hand went to the hilt of his sword. "I ought cut you down here and now and put an end to your lies and deceits. By the gods, I should."

Theon ain’t scared of Rodrik, but the soldiers he had were a different story. If Rodrik has Theon killed, Beth is going to be hanged.

Ser Rodrik's knuckles had gone white, but after a moment he took his hand off the swordhilt. "Truly, I have lived too long."

"I will not disagree, ser. Will you accept my terms?"

Rodrik has a duty to the Starks. So, instead, he offers himself to take Beth’s place. Rodrik hopes Theon sees that he’s worth more than Beth. But Theon is unmoved. He knows the Manderlys and Tallharts don’t care about Rodrik’s life. He’s keeping the girl strung up until Rodrik relents on the attack.

"Gods be good, Theon, how can you do this? You know I must attack, have sworn . . . "

"If this host is still in arms before my gate when the sun sets, Beth will hang," said Theon. "Another hostage will follow her to the grave at first light, and another at sunset. Every dawn and every dusk will mean a death, until you are gone. I have no lack of hostages."

Theon wheels Smiler around and trots back to the castle, noticing the heads, thinking they’re watching him. He has the horse pick up the pace. Above him, Beth Cassel cries, and Theon gallops away from at that. When he reaches the courtyard, he gives the horse to Wex and says that maybe this will work. He orders Beth to be brought down until sunset, and now it’s time to get drunk.

In Ned Stark’s bedchamber, Theon tries to get good and drunk, knowing that the northmen are going to attack. But the wine doesn’t work. Theon knows that if it was his neck in a noose with Lord Balon outside, the attack would have already started, but the men of the green lands were soft, though not soft enough. Regardless, when they attacked, Theon knew he and his men would bite it hard, even if they killed many times their number.

Theon stared at the flames over the rim of his wine goblet, brooding on the injustice of it all. "I rode beside Robb Stark in the Whispering Wood," he muttered. He had been frightened that night, but not like this. It was one thing to go into battle surrounded by friends, and another to perish alone and despised. Mercy, he thought miserably.

Discouraged that he’s about to be cancelled, Theon gets his bow and arrows and heads down to the courtyard to do some archery practice. He shoots arrows after arrow until his fingers are bloody and his shoulders sore. He ruefully remembers saving Bran’s life with the bow, but he can’t save his own life with this bow.

As the sun starts to set, Theon knows if he hangs Beth, then the northmen will attack instantly. But if he doesn’t hang her, everyone will know his threats are empty. It’s lose-lose.

"If you had a hundred archers as good as yourself, you might have a chance to hold the castle," a voice said softly.

When he turned, Maester Luwin was behind him. "Go away," Theon told him. "I have had enough of your counsel."

"And life? Have you had enough of that, my lord prince?"

Theon aims his bow at Luwin, telling him that he’ll kill him if he “counsels” him any more. But Luwin is unafraid, knowing Theon won’t. Theon pulls his bow and asks if Luwin would stake his life on that.

"I am your last hope, Theon."

I have no hope, he thought. Yet he lowered the bow half an inch and said, "I will not run."

"I do not speak of running. Take the black."

"The Night's Watch?" Theon let the bow unbend slowly and pointed the arrow at the ground.

Luwin tells Theon that Rodrik knows that the Starks are friends to the Watch, and he’ll allow Theon to join the Night’s Watch if he surrenders.

A brother of the Night's Watch. It meant no crown, no sons, no wife . . . but it meant life, and life with honor. Ned Stark's own brother had chosen the Watch, and Jon Snow as well.

I have black garb aplenty, once I tear the krakens off. Even my horse is black. I could rise high in the Watch-chief of rangers, likely even Lord Commander. Let Asha keep the bloody islands, they're as dreary as she is. If I served at Eastwatch, I could command my own ship, and there's fine hunting beyond the Wall. As for women, what wildling woman wouldn't want a prince in her bed? A slow smile crept across his face, A black cloak can't be turned. I'd be as good as any man . . .

But then an alarm is sounded. Theon thinks the northmen are starting the attack. Luwin urges Theon to raise a peace banner. But then Kromm tells Theon that the northmen are fighting each other. Another group came up and pretended to be friends with Rodrik, and then they attacked.

"Is it Asha?" Had she come to save him after all?

But Kromm gave a shake of his head. "No. These are northmen, I tell you. With a bloody man on their banner."

The flayed man of the Dreadfort. Reek had belonged to the Bastard of Bolton before his capture, Theon recalled. It was hard to believe that a vile creature like him could sway the Boltons to change their allegiance, but nothing else made sense. "I'll see this for myself," Theon said.

Luwin follows Theon as they head up to the battlements. From the high angle, they see the carnage below as men scream and shout. And though the Bolton men are fewer, they’re better led, and they decimate Rodrik Cassel’s army with heavy cavalry charges. Theon watches one dude drag himself across the ground to the center of the market square before he dies.

The crows came in the blue dust, with the evening stars. "The Dothraki believe the stars are spirits of the valiant dead," Theon said. Maester Luwin had told him that, a long time ago.

"Dothraki?"

"The horselords across the narrow sea."

"Oh. Them." Black Lorren frowned through his beard. "Savages believe all manner of foolish things."

The night grows black, and the sounds of battle begin to die down. Only the screams and moans of the dying and wounded remain. And then a column of riders rides towards the gate, and at the front was a knight in dark armor with a pale pink cloak flowing behind him. They demand entry. Black Lorren asks if they’re friend or foe.

"Would a foe bring such fine gifts?" Red Helm waved a hand, and three corpses were dumped in front of the gates. A torch was waved above the bodies, so the defenders upon the walls might see the faces of the dead.

"The old castellan," said Black Lorren.

"With Leobald Tallhart and Cley Cerwyn." The boy lord had taken an arrow in the eye, and Ser Rodrik had lost his left arm at the elbow. Maester Luwin gave a wordless cry of dismay, turned away from the battlements, and fell to his knees sick.

The man says that they would have killed Lord Manderly, but he didn’t leave White Harbor.

I am saved, Theon thought. So why did he feel so empty? This was victory, sweet victory, the deliverance he had prayed for. He glanced at Maester Luwin. To think how close I came to yielding, and taking the black . . .

"Open the gates for our friends." Perhaps tonight Theon would sleep without fear of what his dreams might bring.

Bolton men cross the moat and through the outer and inner walls. Theon heads down to the courtyard with Black Lorren and Maester Luwin to greet his … friends. He asks how many the Boltons lost. Twenty or thirty according to the man whose helm is non-ominously shaped like a skinless and bloody face with a mouth open like a silent howl of anguish. When Theon comments that they were way outnumbered in the battle, the man says that's true, but Rodrik thought they were friends. They weren’t. The man cut off Rodrik’s arm when he extended it in greeting. And then the man revealed himself to Rodrik by removing his helm which the man now does to Theon.

"Reek," Theon said, disquieted. How did a serving man get such fine armor?

The man laughed. "The wretch is dead." He stepped closer. "The girl's fault. If she had not run so far, his horse would not have lamed, and we might have been able to flee. I gave him mine when I saw the riders from the ridge. I was done with her by then, and he liked to take his turn while they were still warm. I had to pull him off her and shove my clothes into his hands-calfskin boots and velvet doublet, silver-chased swordbelt, even my sable cloak. Ride for the Dreadfort, I told him, bring all the help you can. Take my horse, he's swifter, and here, wear the ring my father gave me, so they'll know you came from me. He'd learned better than to question me. By the time they put that arrow through his back, I'd smeared myself with the girl's filth and dressed in his rags. They might have hanged me anyway, but it was the only chance I saw." He rubbed the back of his hand across his mouth. "And now, my sweet prince, there was a woman promised me, if I brought two hundred men. Well, I brought three times as many, and no green boys nor fieldhands neither, but my father's own garrison."

Theon had promised Reek things, and he decides not to renege on it. He orders Palla to be brought out for, um, hey, what did you say your name was again?

"Ramsay." There was a smile on his plump lips, but none in those pale pale eyes. "Snow, my wife called me before she ate her fingers, but I say Bolton." His smile curdled. "So you'd offer me a kennel girl for my good service, is that the way of it?"

Theon does not like the tone of voice Ramsay is using. He states that this was what was promised. But Ramsay doesn’t want Palla anymore. He wants Kyra instead.

"Are you mad?" Theon said angrily. "I'll have you-"

The Bastard's backhand caught him square, and his cheekbone shattered with a sickening crunch beneath the lobstered steel. The world vanished in a red roar of pain.

Later, Theon is on the ground, rolling around. He tries to shout for the gates to be closed, but it was too late. Dreadfort men kill his Ironborn bros. Lorren gets surrounded by four men. Ulf gets a crossbow bolt. Luwin was trying to reach Theon, but a horseman puts a spear between his shoulders. Another Bolton dude throws a burning torch onto a thatched roof.

"Save me the Freys," the Bastard was shouting as the flames roared upward, "and burn the rest. Burn it, burn it all."

The last thing Theon Greyjoy saw was Smiler, kicking free of the burning stables with his mane ablaze, screaming, rearing . . .

And that is ACOK, Theon VI. What a chapter, man. What did YOU think?

Depth

It might feel like ACOK is out of gas after the Battle of Blackwater, with these last few chapters mostly just setting up ASOS. Not in this case, though! Of all the POVs in ACOK, Theon is the only one who doesn’t appear in ASOS, so his story has to stand on its own terms. And it does, in large part because it wraps up in spectacular style. Theon VI is a gut-churning nerve-shredding chapter. Theon has his back against the wall; George does an expert job making us sympathize with Theon and also flinch away from him with repulsion. And just when you think Theon has been saved, it turns out he’s been condemned. This is our last Theon chapter for a long while. Thankfully, it’s his best one in the book.

Like the Blackwater, George uses a series of reversals to intense dramatic effect here. Theon is doomed. Theon is saved. Theon is very, very doomed. It’s an intense chapter! And having gone through and re-read all of Theon’s ACOK chapters prior to this episode, I’ve noticed a semi-pattern in how George did it all. Theon I, III and IV end with plot cliffhangers: where is Balon planning to invade? What’s the prize that Theon is after? What are Theon and Reek planning for Bran and Rickon? Meanwhile, Theon II and V end with plot revelations springing forward from plot twists: Balon revealing his plans to attack the North and Theon’s revelation that he killed the miller’s boys instead of Bran and Rickon. And here in Theon’s final chapter, George uses those reversals to do both a major plot revelation (Reek is Ramsay, and Winterfell is burned) as well as setting up the thirteen year cliffhanger between the publications of ACOK and ADWD: what happened to Theon. Visceral, horrifying and crushing. We’re in the emotional headspace of A Storm of Swords.

• Caught in a trap
  • Theon spent his last chapter drowning in his terrible decisions; Theon VI is all about the consequences, which come in some unexpected forms
  • George captures the queasy dread of someone who’s always been able to charm their way out of trouble realizing that it won’t work this time
  • Can’t stop what’s coming, as they say in No Country for Old Men, and like your average Cormac McCarthy/Coen Bros character, Theon is victim of both fate and his own actions. He has tried so hard to be in charge of his own life, but all his efforts have been futile, and now they are backfiring
  • The opening line of the chapter tells us that scouts have been seen outside the walls, heralds of Theon’s doom. We learned in Theon V that Ser Rodrik defeated Dagmer Cleftjaw, and will be marching back to Winterfell with his fellow Stark loyalists. Now that army has arrived
  • Maester Luwin tells Theon that the game is over. He has no choice but to surrender. Theon, however, is in no mood for sensible advice
  • His nightmares about his crimes have robbed him of sleep, and even the sight of food sickens him; George includes a blood sausage for a reason
  • Theon is exhausted, paranoid, terrified, bitter, resentful, self-loathing--he’s on the verge of snapping, and can only take refuge in his feigned authority. He’s Cersei at the Blackwater; he’s the Mad King near the end
  • He orders Luwin to send more birds to his father, his sister, his uncle, demanding they come save him. It’s a waste of time
  • The birds wouldn’t reach them quick enough, even if they did want to help him...which they clearly don’t, or they would have by now
  • That’s the painful truth Theon can’t face. He did all this to prove himself a proper Ironborn badass, but his Ironborn family has still rejected him, and now they’re abandoning him to his fate
  • On the strategic side of things, Theon and the rest of the Ironborn invaded the North at the best possible time with the North divided and already fighting a civil war over the Hornwood lands.
  • Given this division, the Ironborn easily took Deepwood Motte and Moat Cailin and successfully raided the Stony Shore.
  • Then Theon was able to take Winterfell, because the castle was undermanned, with Dagmer’s assault on Torrhen’s Square distracting the northmen.
  • And then? What then? What did the Greyjoys do after that? Let’s recall noted military genius Balon Greyjoy’s plan:
    • Those who remained behind are the cravens, old men, and green boys. They will yield or fall, one by one. Winterfell may defy us for a year, but what of it? The rest shall be ours, forest and field and hall, and we shall make the folk our thralls and salt wives.
  • What’s the next move here? What are the Greyjoys doing to secure their advantage in the North?
  • There is no next move. The Greyjoys have simply taken three castles and are sitting on them. The rest of the North isn’t yielding, and the Ironborn aren’t pressing forward to attack additional castles.
  • For instance, Castle Cerwyn is a mere half-day’s ride from Winterfell, and there is no move to take the castle.
  • Meanwhile, there’s been no movement by Victarion from Moat Cailin to secure places like Barrowton.
  • Asha has simply stayed in place at Deepwood Motte and hasn’t threatened Bear Island.
  • The timing of the initial invasion was incredibly fortunate for the Greyjoys, but the rest? Magical bullshit thinking on Balon’s part and dumbshit execution on his lieutenants’ part.
  • And now with Ramsay Snow dead, and the assault on Torrhen’s Square repelled, the northmen have rallied to retake Winterfell.
  • This is the opposite of the Lannisters and Tyrells after the Blackwater. They’ve exploited their amazing timing, squeezing every possible advantage from their victory.
  • It’s also the opposite of what the Golden Company does when it lands in the Stormlands in ADWD. They’re taking lightly-defended castles left and right and building momentum for Aegon.
  • The momentum of the initial invasion ended at Winterfell, and now Theon is trapped here, knowing that the northmen are out for his blood.
  • At some level, Theon has internalized this, and has accepted death:
    • I'll not go to my grave in dirty clothes.
  • But on another, more conscious level, Theon is too cowardly and arrogant to face the consequences for his actions, so he lashes out at Luwin
  • He demands to know if Luwin wants him dead. I feel like Theon wants someone to tell him to his face what a monster he’s become
  • Luwin, however, neither defies Theon nor cowers before him. He is calm, unafraid, which of course only makes Theon angrier. Theon has been trying and failing to express that same self-assurance
  • Why is Luwin so chill, given what Theon has done? As we’ll learn in Bran VII, the maester is already pretty sure those dead kids aren’t the Starks
  • Now, Theon still murdered those kids, and also several people in the castle. So any affection Luwin once felt for Theon is gone
  • But Luwin can’t hate Theon either, because like Dagmer, he understands why Theon is doing this. As he says in the show, it’s all a performance
  • Dagmer remembers Theon from the first half of his life; Luwin was there for the second half. They both know him well enough to see through it
  • Luwin says that he taught Theon everything he could: writing, math, history. He wanted to teach him more. He doesn’t say what, but it’s implied that Luwin wanted to give Theon a moral foundation, a sense of belonging
  • Luwin knows that Theon pretended to kill the Starks because he’s desperate to belong somewhere; that isolation wasn’t his choice
  • I think George is trying to guide the reader’s perspective here: condemning Theon for his crimes, while recognizing that he didn’t just wake up one day ready to kill kids. This was a long slow process, and it says as much about the world around Theon as it says about him
  • As such, Luwin still feels a duty to him, and also a duty to his maester’s vows, which compel him to give good counsel
  • Luwin is the maester equivalent of “a knight who remembered his vows.” Most maesters, from what we see, function like ordinary politicians
  • Luwin (like Aemon) is the rare exception that genuinely try to serve the realm, however they choose to define that nebulous concept
  • Why is surrendering good counsel? Because Theon is ludicrously outnumbered, even before half his men abandon him
  • That’s why he was sending birds to his family asking for help, but Luwin reminds him that his father Balon is hyper-focused on Moat Cailin
  • He’s keeping Victarion and the vast majority of Ironborn troops stationed at the Neck to prevent Robb from returning to the North
  • While that is the crucial chokepoint, Theon is right that this plan does not make provision for the thousands of Northmen left in the North
  • They are in position to attack Moat Cailin where it’s vulnerable. Theon could serve a valuable function keeping those troops tied down
  • The problem with that, as Luwin patiently explains, is that there will be no lengthy siege. The Northmen will come over the walls in a hundred places
  • Both Balon and Theon’s plans have gigantic blind spots because they are motivated first and foremost by pride. Father and son aren’t that different
  • Theon surrendering is the best move he can make, not only for himself, but for the smallfolk of the castle; Luwin is looking out for their interests, as he told Bran the night Theon took the castle. They are his responsibility. Unfortunately, Theon has darker plans for the people of Winterfell
  • There’s a lot of political and military sense in Rodrik Cassel aiming for Winterfell before confronting Victarion or Asha.
  • First, from a tactical perspective, Rodrik estimates that Theon has fifty men, and Rodrik has him badly outnumbered with nearly two thousand soldiers.
  • So, it’ll be a comparatively easy victory than going for Victarion and Asha who probably have a few thousand under their respective commands.
  • But taking Winterfell and avenging the Starks is a political momentum change for Rodrik.
  • Much like Stannis and Roose determine in ADWD, Winterfell is the heart of the North, and whoever controls it holds political legitimacy over the North.
  • If Rodrik takes Winterfell - a foregone conclusion, right? - then he can rally additional northmen to his cause and aim next probably for Victarion down at Moat Cailin: the gate between the north and the south.
  • As will be discussed at significant length in ASOS: Moat Cailin has never been taken from the south, but the northern approach is vulnerable to assault.
  • Rodrik will just need a few more men, a political victory at Winterfell, and then Victarion is dead meat.
  • Moving beyond the politics and military strategy of it all, I think the dynamic of Rodrik Cassel vs. Theon is some understated awesome writing by George here.
  • Why? Because Rodrik Cassel is a sympathetic character, the northern cause is a sympathetic one whereas the Ironborn are not sympathetic.
  • So, we’re rooting for the northmen to come in and scour their lands clean of the Ironborn.
  • But on another level, Theon’s reckoning is not rooted within a context of geopolitics but rather personal abandonment by his family.
  • I don’t think we’re meant to sympathize with Theon’s actions in ACOK. George goes to great lengths to show his fucked-up actions in nearly every chapter.
  • And I don’t think we’re meant to exactly sympathize with Theon’s mindstate either with his misogyny, shallow, rapey thought-process.
  • Instead, I think George finds the emotional core which garners Theon’s sympathy from his reckoning that he’s been abandoned.
  • And it’s not simply that he’s been abandoned for geopolitical reasons, but because he’s Theon: the son Balon abandoned, the boy Ned Stark “raised as a son” as Rodrik will claim later, but Theon subconsciously knows the truth: Ned was cold and distant to him, because if Balon did more Balon shittery, Theon’s head would be on the chopping block.
  • That perspective refracts outwards, and he has plans for both the residents of Winterfell and for his own life, provided he can find enough bros to stand their ground at Winterfell.
• Inspecting the troops
  • Having rejected surrender, Theon now has to make the case for fighting on to his men. Which he...doesn’t even really bother to do
  • Instead, he all but acknowledges that they’re screwed, and that they can either run or die. He draws a line in the dirt and asks them to choose
  • On one hand, I appreciate Theon being blunt and direct, allowing them to make their own call. On the other, what a ludicrous performance this is!
  • Theon does not acknowledge that he led them into this hopeless situation with no plan to extricate them other than demanding his family save him
  • He never had anything to offer, no reason to be seen as prince other than his endless assertions that he was one. So no one crosses the line
  • Even in his thoughts, Theon can’t bear to face up to responsibility. He blames everyone else for leaving him: his father, his sister, even Reek
  • Theon is so detached from reality that it would be easy to detach from him in turn, except that George writes his POV so intimately
  • We feel every skin-crawling second “beneath the great grey walls and hard white sky.” Anyone who’s ever experienced public humiliation knows how time seems to slow, your brain soaking in every miserable detail
  • Theon feels like he’s drowning. Isn’t that appropriate, given that the source of the cultural divide here is that he’s not drowned enough, not a proper Ironborn man? He’s drowning in his own alienation from the Old Way
  • Wex saves him, just like Podrick saved Tyrion. There are many parallels between this chapter and the Battle of Blackwater; I think it’s deliberate
  • Theon is the usurper like Joffrey, and gives a desperate last stand speech like Tyrion. Stark loyalists want to retake Winterfell from him like Baratheon forces wanted to retake King’s Landing from the Lannisters. And in the end...well, we’ll get to that later!
  • Anyway, Wex is the only one with personal loyalty to Theon. The mute bastard, bottom of the social hierarchy, steps forward with courage
  • That shames some of the rest (as Tyrion shamed Sandor’s men into riding out with him). Theon winds up with seventeen diehards. The rest leave
  • Black Lorren is among those who remain. He takes Theon’s suicidal logic to its natural conclusion: let me stand out there and take them all on
  • Instead, Theon tells him to use the noose. Before we learn what that means, we see that it makes Black Lorren hold Theon in contempt
  • He is despised by both sides. Theon thinks that the very stones of the castle have rejected him. If he dies, he dies alone. What choice does that give him but to live? Theon wants to find meaning and community before he dies, but he’s cut off every avenue of doing so. He is totally alienated
  • Great parallel on Theon/Tyrion/Joffrey! And if we return oh-so-briefly back to the 1993 pitch letter, Tyrion was the one who was going to burn Winterfell before George swapped Tyrion for Theon doing the deed.
  • Unlike Tyrion, though, giving his big battle speech and getting shouted up as “Half-man! Half-man!”, Theon is met with sullen stares until Wex crosses the line and shames seventeen to cross the line.
  • I think there’s something to take away from that distinction of battle speeches and what their subordinates do.
  • For all of Tyrion’s faults that we’ve covered extensively in ACOK of not weaponizing his underdog status, he’s still engendered enough respect to have men chant his moniker and then ride with him on one last charge out of the gates.
  • Yet barely a dozen dudes end up crossing the line to die for Theon.
  • One thing that comes to mind about Tyrion is that he’s offering his men something to fight for: their homes and their city.
  • Plus, Tyrion can plausibly argue that there’s a small chance for victory at the Blackwater if they sweep Stannis’ men off the north bank of the Blackwater.
  • But at the same time, Bronn and Jacelyn both told Tyrion that the gold cloaks and sellswords would kill for him, but they wouldn’t die for them.
  • So, if there’s one very small positive thing to be said for Theon here: his men are willing to die for him.
  • But what exactly are they dying for? They know the castle - a castle they’re not emotionally invested in, like Theon - is going to fall to the northmen, but seventeen guys are willing to die for it.
  • What I think is actually occurring is that these Ironborn morons get shamed by Wex, and their honor (such as it is) requires them to all die.
  • I don’t think that’s actually a good thing. Die for your city, family and home? Sure. Die for an ideal? Alright. Die because your honor is on the line and in such a way that your death will not even be remembered in song and story like Black Lorren wants?
  • The thing is that many Ironborn are in complete earnestness about the old way, paying the iron price and what is dead may never die.
  • That stands in contrast to what occurs in Season Two of Game of Thrones.
  • This scene in the show is quite enjoyable, but it's an entirely different dynamic. Theon poses at being of the Old Way, but his ironborn fellows are a bit more cynical about it.
  • When Theon yells at his Ironborn bros, they play at joining Theon in his heroic last stand, and then the whole thing is played for laughs as Dagmer Cleftjaw whacks Theon with a spear butt and leverages Theon for safe passage from Winterfell.
  • In this, the Ironborn don’t distinguish themselves from the normal craven way of Westeros, and the Old Way is just for show.
  • Still, in its earnest version here in ACOK, is it any better? Dagmer Cleftjaw (who is a merged Dagmer/Black Lorren/Gelmarr character in the show) still helps Theon murder the shepherd’s boys.
  • Posers, true believers or cynics: the endstate is the death of innocents.
• Negotiating with Ser Rodrik
  • George then shifts our focus to the other side of the struggle: the Northmen come to retake the castle in the name of the Starks
  • This army is evidence of the political strength of the Stark name. There is seemingly no member of the family left in the North; the Ironborn invasion has destabilized the region. Yet Ser Rodrik was able to gather these men
  • At the same time, you can see the impact the war has had. No Glovers are here, because Asha took Deepwood Motte. No Umbers, because the Greatjon took every man of fighting age with him. Barely any Hornwoods, because of the inheritance crisis we saw unfold in Bran’s chapters
  • All of this matters, because while Ser Rodrik still has more than enough men to defeat Theon, he winds up not having enough to defeat Ramsay
  • For the first time reader, though, this army looks formidable, especially because they are animated by murderous hatred toward Theon
  • As Theon rides out to meet them, the ugly crown on his head doesn’t prevent him from shivering as the winds of winter cut right through him. He feels the eyes from the heads on the walls staring down at him
  • Ser Rodrik has archers watching his every move, a line of knights from White Harbor ready to ride him down. Theon knows many of these men, has partied with many of them, but knows it will not save him
  • The fact that they know him so well makes them hate him more, not less. There is a sting of betrayal that isn’t there with, say, Asha, or Dagmer
  • They were friends; they have become foes. Theon addresses that right away, saying that it grieves him to meet Ser Rodrik as an enemy
  • On one hand, this is an empty courtesy, and a galling one. If Theon didn’t want Stark loyalists to be enemies, he shouldn’t have invaded the North!
  • On the other, Theon does mean it at some level. His goal was to gain acceptance from his Ironborn family. He had tunnel vision; he didn’t think through how the Northmen would see him until it was already too late
  • He remembers miserably how he was sent to Pyke as Robb’s emissary, to bring Ironborn longships to bear against the Lannisters
  • It seems like a million years ago. It seems like he was a different man. How has everything got so turned around?
  • As Tyrion says in ASOS, it goes back to our parents. We dance as puppets on their strings, and our children will one day take our place
  • When Rodrik calls Theon a turncloak, Theon reminds Rodrik that he was born a Greyjoy of Pyke. Surely that is where his loyalty lies: his patrimony
  • Rodrik insists that Theon’s status as a ward of Stark for ten years ought to have fostered loyalty to Winterfell. Theon counters he was Ned’s prisoner
  • But prisoners, Rodrik points out, are usually thrown into dungeons. Theon got to ride around in nice clothes getting laid. He ate and fought and laughed alongside the Stark boys, and then he butchered them
  • I think they both have half a point. Rodrik is right that Theon cannot exactly claim ill treatment that would motivate him to seek revenge. Murdering child foster brothers is a clear escalation of violence
  • Theon is right, though, that he’s a Greyjoy at the end of the day. He never took the Stark name, and was never going to. What does he owe them?
  • I’m always skeptical when people demand credit for not mistreating others. Sure, Ned didn’t chain Theon to a wall. Whaddya want, a medal?
  • I think it’s revealing that Ser Rodrik confesses to “undying shame” about his own role in the process. He trained Theon in the arts of war
  • Luwin said much the same thing: I tried to teach you, but it wasn’t enough. He told Bran the same thing regarding Ned’s parentage of Theon
  • Even as these adults reel from the horror of what Theon has done, they realize their own culpability. They raised him; they produced him. The whole point was to reduce violence between their peoples, and it only got worse. Where exactly did the system break down? How did we get here?
  • George offers an answer in this chapter: we got here by treating children as currency, coin to be spent to gain advantage in the game of thrones
  • Theon says he has something better than men. He raises his fist, a signal to Black Lorren on the castle walls
  • As when Lorren mentioned the noose, we still don’t know what Theon is actually doing yet. All we have to go on is other people’s reactions to it
  • Rodrik’s stern face breaks. His chin starts to quiver. He’s afraid, Theon thinks sadly, but not surprised. After Theon killed children, who could be surprised by anything he does? Is there any crime he won’t commit?
  • It is despicable to use children this way, Rodrik says, as objects in war, taking advantage of their helplessness and our love for them. Theon admits that yes, it is despicable. He would know: he was used this way
  • Theon had to pay the price for his father’s rebellion. Whatever lessons Balon was supposed to learn did not take hold. He just waited for Ned and Robert to die, and then he resumed his war with no thought for Theon
  • The game of thrones made no room for Theon Greyjoy. Even if he’d conducted himself better, he would still have no place to call home
  • He was ripped from his home as a child and exiled as a stranger in a strange land, all too aware of the death sentence hanging over his head
  • Was he treated well at Winterfell? Sure. They never put a noose around his neck. But it was there, he says. He felt it all the same
  • To me, this is the most poignant moment in Theon’s ACOK chapters, in which George reveals the callous politics that have shaped his psychology
  • It’s all the more powerful because Theon didn’t even consciously realize this pain until he expressed it out loud. He has gotten used to the noose
  • So now that he has come into his own power, it’s the only tool he can think to use. It’s all he was taught; his fathers never showed him anything else
  • Theon was forged in the cycle of violence. He perpetuated it on the miller’s boys, and now he perpetuates it on the Cassel family. Ser Rodrik feels trapped, no good options, just like Theon. No one receives mercy
  • I love how Rodrik’s disgust breaks down in desperation. He addresses Theon by his name, and asks how can you do this? How can you make me condemn my own child to death? For it’s young Beth with the noose around her neck, sobbing, stuck between the two dead heads on the walls
  • Those heads are the answer to Rodrik’s question. Theon’s already gone over the edge, and feels that it’s too late to pull back
  • He will be the monster they believe him to be, reflecting what they did to him. I think it’s a perfect way to write a believable moral descent
  • Back in Bran’s first chapter in AGOT, Ned Stark told Bran that there is no crime that a deserter will flinch from, that Gared had to die to prevent further harm from occurring to the people.
  • You can argue the semantics of a turncloak and a deserter, but their crime is similar, and I think we see the full extent that there is no crime that Theon will flinch from to stay alive.
  • The trajectory has gone from turncloaking to killing a former acquaintance to killing defiant Winterfell staff members to rape to murdering two boys to cover up Theon’s bungling of holding Bran and Rickon to now stringing up a girl and threatening to hang her if the northmen attack.
  • The thing of it is that it’s not quite the straight trajectory as I was making it out to be. Is Theon truly a turncloak? According to him, he’s not.
  • Theon was a Greyjoy first, and then a ward/hostage of the Starks thereafter.
  • But that layer of Theon covers up another layer: he may not have felt like the son of Ned Stark, but he found community within the army of Robb Stark.
    • "I rode beside Robb Stark in the Whispering Wood," he muttered. He had been frightened that night, but not like this. It was one thing to go into battle surrounded by friends, and another to perish alone and despised. Mercy, he thought miserably.
  • Theon may not have felt like Ned Stark’s brother, but as he told Bran when he took Winterfell, he did feel like Robb Stark’s brother.
  • And Robb felt similarly to Theon, and despite Catelyn’s warnings, entrusting him with the mission to Pyke to bring the Greyjoys to the Stark side.
  • But Theon repaid that trust with betrayal.
  • Is it truly betrayal? I think, one on level, it is as it betrays Theon’s original purpose in going to Pyke.
  • On another level, it’s not quite turncloak betrayal as Theon is a Greyjoy first, and he’s trying to fit into his family again.
  • But here’s the crux: we can argue about the naming convention of whether Theon is a turncloak or a Greyjoy or a Stark or what not, but that’s not what gives this scene emotional heft.
  • It’s rather that Theon feels like his identities are being torn up inside. On an emotional level, he believes that he betrayed Robb, and on an emotional level, he believes that he’s a Greyjoy.
  • But also on an emotional level, he knows that the Starks never trusted him and viewed him as a prisoner.
  • And on an emotional level, Theon knows that his father never accepted him as his son, and that his dad isn’t coming to save him, because of that fact.
  • That’s the framing for what you identified so well: that Theon is willing to do any foul deed was shaped by this by his own experience coupled with his cowardly brittle shell of masculinity.
  • The former rootlessness led to the fragile hyper masculinity compensation and both feed toward atrocity here and in previous Theon chapters.
  • And ultimately they have led him here to where he’s trapped inside his emotions and inside this castle.
• No exit
  • So now Theon has put a crying little girl in a noose and forced her father to watch...and it was all for nothing, as he himself realizes
  • Beth Cassel is not an important enough hostage to restrain the Northmen. No one inside the castle is. Moreover, whether he hangs her or not at nightfall, the Northmen will immediately attack. Holding Beth won’t work for the same reason holding Theon didn’t restrain Balon
  • The logic animating the hostage system has broken down. Theon reflects on how he saved Bran’s life with his bow, how he rode into battle at Robb’s side; that’s how it should work, friendships leading to alliances
  • He’d been frightened at the Whispering Wood, but this is worse. It is one thing to die with friends; it is another to die alone. Again, these are now the stakes of Theon’s story. He’s already jumped headfirst into hell. The question now is whether he’s ever going to be able to find acceptance
  • As I said, George traps the reader in Theon’s head. We can feel the sensation of no exit; all you can do is wait for your doom to arrive
  • The shadow of the broken tower reaches out for Theon like an arm, like a sundial marking the countdown to his final sunset
  • It’s also kind of powerful foreshadowing showing what will happen to Theon once the shadow touches him, when he’s truly confined to a dungeon within the Dreadfort.
  • I was reading the first Theon chapter earlier today, and Theon makes mention of the towers on Pyke, going into the backstory of how once Pyke was one landmass, and then thousands of years of waves beating against the land turned the single landmass into three islands with castles and towers at the highest points.
  • The point there was that Theon was looking forward to being within the shadow of those towers, how he longed to be “home.”
  • But home on Pyke proved a less-than-ideal home for Theon, and his father all-but-rejected him in favor of Asha, thinking him more Stark than Greyjoy.
  • So, now here, Theon is “home” again, but the broken tower of Winterfell has a shadow reaching for him. He’s not precisely home here either.
  • For Theon, there is no home, and the shadows of Winterfell and Pyke haunt him until he’s in a place where there is no light: the Dreadfort.
  • Ironically, the color black also represents potential deliverance for Theon! Luwin emerges again to urge Theon to take the black
  • Theon’s reaction is really well-written, capturing the complexity of his character. On one hand, his yearning for a fresh start is achingly sincere
  • “A black cloak can’t be turned. I’d be as good as any man.” The Watch represents an escape from the torments of identity in a civil war
  • Theon is willing to give it all up--no crown, no sons, no wife. Asha can have the Islands. He’ll tear the krakens off his clothes--quite the image
  • On the other hand, that image also reveals how shallow and thoughtless Theon remains, so eager to avoid a reckoning that he’ll swap it all out
  • He’s still so delusional about his status that he promptly imagines he’d wind up captaining a ship, and seducing wildling ladies as a prince
  • Moreover, we know he’s not exactly right about the Night’s Watch. Black cloaks can be turned, and who you were in your old life still counts
  • So while I relate to the rush of feeling Theon experiences, the possibility of flipping off both sides and starting over somewhere else, the blind spots that led him here have not been challenged
  • And you know George means to challenge those blind spots, because as soon as he introduces this possible path for Theon, he snatches it away. As he writes it, the news of a twist in the battle shatters the daydream
• Sudden battle!
  • Battle talk! Battle talk! Battle talk!
  • Like the Blackwater, George has built up the showdown at Winterfell for so long that when it finally breaks, you can feel the tension gusting out of the outbreak of battle.
  • And also like the Blackwater, this is a moment where salvation for Theon comes as a major twist in the story.
  • But it’s also a twist that’s been well-foundation’d by George. Let’s start there.
  • Starting in Bran V, Rodrik Cassel turns up with the prisoner Reek who had been captured during a skirmish with Ramsay Snow and his Bolton men near the Hornwood Forest.
  • Reek, who you’ll be shocked to find out is actually Ramsay, then is carried back to Winterfell and locked in the dungeon to await Robb’s judgment.
  • Then in Bran VI, Theon takes Winterfell and brings Ramsay into his service after he swears an oath to him and Balon Greyjoy.
  • Theon IV has Ramsay accompanying Theon and his hunting party looking for Bran and Rickon and offering.
  • Theon V has Ramsay killing the Ironborn who were witnesses to the murders, and then Theon dispatching Ramsay with Stark silver to find some “good boys” to aid Theon.
  • And then wham-bam, they show up here in Theon VI to save Theon Greyjoy.
  • So, that’s the published narrative. Let’s turn to other things we know, some subtext here and game out what was going on between Theon V and Theon VI.
  • Arya IX, the chapter which occurs right after Bran VI, has Roose Bolton taking ownership of Harrenhal, establishing a place where he can receive and dispatch ravens.
  • Alongside of this, Roose begins plotting the Red Wedding with Tywin Lannister.
  • This is where the chronology gets a little tricky, but the Freys find out about Robb and Jeyne in Arya X, and then let’s assume that the Freys decide to join in with Roose’s planning for the Red Wedding immediately after.
  • That would mean that Ramsay arrived back at the Dreadfort after Arya X for a reason that will become clear in a moment.
  • When Ramsay arrived, I think what happened was that he found out that Roose had taken Harrenhal, and he sent a bird to Roose to find out what to do next.
  • Roose sends back a bird instructing Ramsay to sack Winterfell but to take the Frey boys alive.
  • Why take the Walders Frey alive? Two reasons, carrot and stick:
    • To keep two sons of Walder Frey alive as a token of Bolton “friendship”
    • As a threat to Walder Frey that if he goes sideways on Roose, that he has his sons as Catelyn noticed just prior to the Red Wedding:
      • Bolton had made a toast to Lord Walder's grandsons when the wedding feast began, pointedly mentioning that Walder and Walder were in the care of his bastard son. From the way the old man had squinted at him, his mouth sucking at the air, Catelyn knew he had heard the unspoken threat.
    • Alternatively, I think if I fucked up the chronology on when Theon VI occurs in relation to the Freys joining with Roose in planning the Red Wedding, it might be that Roose has ordered the Frey boys secured so he can use them as a bargaining chip to bring the Freys into the conspiracy.
  • So, why do I think Ramsay and Roose plotted this one together? Because the Dreadfort garrison is what Ramsay shows up with here, and I can’t imagine them going along with Ramsay to Winterfell -- unless they had the express authorization of Roose Bolton here -- just look at how Roose’s underlings are treated by Roose in Arya X!
  • Anyways, that’s preamble to the actual battle just prior to it unfolding.
  • For Ramsay, the primary mission is Winterfell, and it’s icing on the cake that Rodrik has arrived first but not before they’ve launched the attack.
  • So, now the battle itself.
  • Ramsay arrives with about 400 Bolton troops under his command, meaning he’s badly outnumbered by Rodrik’s 2,000.
  • The numbers alone should dictate an easy defeat for Ramsay, but he has a force multiplier: a surprise betrayal.
  • As Ramsay recounts towards the end of the chapter, the Boltons showed up, playing as friends of Rodrik.
  • Ramsay, himself, approached Rodrik on horseback. And when Rodrik extended his arm out in greeting, Ramsay unsheathed his sword and chopped his arm off.
  • Obviously, Ramsay did this to be especially cruel towards Rodrik who had thrown him into a dungeon.
  • But the second order effect was that the northern army under Rodrik’s command became leaderless at the precise moment that the Boltons fell on them.
  • Beyond that, the northmen were facing the wrong direction. They were preparing to attack Winterfell, and the Boltons attack from an angle that they weren’t expecting, and they posed as friends.
  • In my estimation, Rodrik’s inability to recognize the threat from the Boltons is sympathetic and yet … foolish.
  • Rodrik probably welcomed the Boltons, thinking that having more men would help him in taking on Victarion, but to me that’s, to use a football analogy that I’m sure you’ll love, a receiver turning his head upfield prior to securing the ball.
  • Rodrik had gone to war with Ramsay before, killed Bolton men, killed Ramsay.
  • And he should have been wary of the Boltons showing up and should have had his hackles up.
  • Instead, he dies, and the Boltons charge into the now-leaderless northmen, killing them quickly with a shock cavalry charge.
  • And Rodrik’s northmen, despite their superior numbers, get routed and are unable to form effective shield walls to repel Ramsay and his cavalry.
  • The Boltons use their advantage in surprise to make the Stark loyalists leaderless and then exploit their advantage by repeated assaults against the rest of the northmen — many of whom are facing away from their attack.
  • Theon notes that the Dreadfort men are better-led, which, duh, Rodrik is dead.
  • The end result is that 20-30 Bolton men are killed (a roughly 5% KIA rate), but the Stark loyalists are almost entirely annihilated.
  • This ambush comes as a shock to the reader, even though we saw Theon send Reek out to recruit men in his previous chapter
  • As Theon said in that chapter and reiterates in this one, counting on the Boltons to switch sides on Reek’s say-so was the longest of long shots
  • It seemed more likely that Reek had contrived this mission to get out of the castle, like Littlefinger got out of King’s Landing before Stannis arrived
  • But just like Littlefinger, Reek came back with an army after all. And just like Sansa and Tyrion during the Blackwater, Theon assumes that his sibling has come to save him, because who else would?
  • Theon watches the battle unfold from the walls. It reminds me a lot of the Catelyn battle chapters we’ve covered: the fighting is seen at a distance, the emphasis is more on the visual sweep and the melancholy tone
  • There are no battle lines, “only a swirling chaos of banners and blades.” The inn burns as the setting sun paints the winter town blood-red
  • A wounded man drags himself toward the well, but dies before he can reach it. Theon can’t tell which side he was on. As in Tyrion’s final chapter, the symbols that separate one side from the other fall away, and you’re left with the blunt material facts of death, which claims everyone in the end
  • What happens after we die? By definition, no one knows; everyone projects their own shadow on the brick wall of mortality
  • As night falls, Theon remembers something Luwin told him: the Dothraki believe the stars are the spirits of the valiant dead
  • Nature does not know extinction; it only knows transformation. Death is not an ending; it is a door that opens. We are spirits; we are eternal
  • That’s one perspective. The other perspective is represented by the gathering crows. Men are meat. We rot, and our pretentions rot with us
  • We all have death in common, but that alone doesn’t break down the borders we erect between ourselves. Luwin passed on part of a different culture to Theon, but Black Lorren rejects it. The Dothraki are just savages
  • Ironically, this is how the mainlanders of Westeros talk about the Ironborn...and it’s also how the Dothraki talk about all Westerosi!
  • Everyone squints suspiciously at those distant figures across the water, inventing all kinds of barbarianisms and projecting them into the Other
  • Theon’s story is the product of these cultural tensions, the way in which he is not welcome in the North nor the Iron Islands
  • If only we could recognize that we have more similarities than differences. The same will apply to the wildlings in later books. Unfortunately for Theon, this little revelation comes too late to save him
• The Bastard of Bolton
  • As great as this chapter is throughout, the part everyone remembers is the full heavy metal reveal of Ramsay, the Bastard of Bolton. It kept him in my mind all through the long wait for ADWD
  • He emerges from the fog of war like a bat out of hell, wearing armor shaped to look like a flayed man screaming in torment
  • He’s the Dreadfort banner brought to life, the embodiment of punishment and pain. Again, there’s an interesting parallel/contrast to the Blackwater
  • That battle also ended with someone in distinctive armor showing up to sweep away the besieging army
  • But while Renly’s armor was beautiful, Ramsay’s armor is horrifying: the nightmare instead of the dream
  • Had a brief flashback here to the Battle by the Godseye when Amory Lorch rode up to the holdfast
    • A column of riders moved between the burning buildings toward the holdfast. Firelight glittered off metal helms and spattered their mail and plate with orange and yellow highlights. One carried a banner on a tall lance. She thought it was red, but it was hard to tell in the night, with the fires roaring all around. Everything seemed red or black or orange.
  • There, Arya was able to understand that these guys were not friends of the Watch and able to see that their end goal was destruction for its own sake.
  • And Yoren wasn’t about to open the gates to Amory Lorch for inspection to determine if they were rebels.
  • That is not how Theon is going to operate here.
  • Moreover, he’s not actually here to save the day. George hints at that right away when Ramsay refuses to answer Lorren’s question: friend or foe?
  • Instead, the man called “Red Helm” shows off his gifts: the bodies of the Stark loyalist leaders: Cley Cerwyn, Leobald Tallhart, and Ser Rodrik
  • Luwin is sick with dismay, as we might be about Cley (only a boy!) and poor old Ser Rodrik, trying his best for the Starks
  • No wonder Theon feels so empty, in spite of being delivered. It feels so wretched and wrong, just like his “victory” on the Stony Shore
  • He’s made his deal with the devil. You can really feel the doom of all these decisions settling on reread: Theon thinking how close he came to taking the black, or hoping that tonight at last he’ll sleep easy. If only...
  • “Red Helm” hasn’t come to save Theon from his nightmares; he’s come to make them real, punishing him for the murders they committed together
  • As he says, everyone makes the mistake of thinking he’s their friend. Ser Rodrik made that mistake, and so did Theon
  • Ser Rodrik held out his hand of friendship to “Red Helm,” assuming the Dreadfort men had come to join the siege
  • “Red Helm” promptly took Rodrik’s arm off, and then showed the old knight his face. He shows that face to Theon now
  • This is where George’s writing shifts into overdrive. I get why the show didn’t adapt the Reek/Ramsay twist; it’s already confusing on the page
  • But it’s one of my favorite twists in the story because of how many narrative strands it brings together, how much is paid off all at once
  • As you laid out so well earlier, “Reek” has been in the background all through the back half of ACOK, crossing from Bran’s POV to Theon’s
  • It might have seemed suspicious that the Bastard himself was killed offscreen after being built up, but we’ve had “Reek” in his place
  • Now we realize that George never killed off the Bastard at all. He’s been showing us Ramsay the whole time; now we know what kind of man he is
  • He’s the kind of man unable to control his sadistic urges, so that he kept hunting, raping, and flaying women even after moving up in the world
  • He’s the kind of man who would betray his only companion on a dime, dressing the original Reek in Ramsay’s clothes so Rodrik would kill him instead, sparing the man he thought was Reek as a witness
  • Ramsay is the kind of man who would smear himself in shit to survive, improvising his way to Theon’s right hand, promising him support in order to escape the castle, and returning to wipe out his enemies in the North, who have conveniently gathered all in one place for him
  • Seen in full, this is a remarkable rise to power, fitting in with everything else going on like a missing puzzle piece
  • How did Ramsay get away with it? So many factors made it possible. Both Hornwood men dying in battle; the fig leaf of marriage allowing him to gain access to Hornwood lands; the wild card of the Ironborn invasion. He’s been the villain of the whole Northern plot of ACOK, hiding in plain sight
  • Factor in that Rodrik never saw Ramsay before as he said back at the Harvest Feast:
    • "Lord Bolton has never acknowledged the boy, so far as I know," Ser Rodrik said. "I confess, I do not know him."
  • Lady Donella Hornwood had said that Roose had hidden Ramsay from plain sight, probably never bringing him out when other lords visited.
  • It’s ruthlessly clever on Roose’s part, because he probably utilized that old noble stigma against bastards -- the same stigma that kept Jon at the squire’s table during Robert’s feast.
  • And now that ruthless cruelty pays its evil dividends here.
  • Few knew what Ramsay looked like outside of the Dreadfort, and those that did know him are dead like Donella or deceived like Rodrik and the readers.
  • The Bastard cut down Rodrik, the man who spared him, and then showed the old knight his face. As Ramsay describes it, he does the same to Theon. George is compressing three revelations: Rodrik’s, Theon’s, ours
  • All of us realize at once that we’ve been tricked: Rodrik and Theon by Ramsay, and us by George. We struggle to keep up
  • This passage is so devastatingly effective because of how quickly it moves. As we process that Reek was Ramsay all along, he demands his prize from Theon: a woman in exchange for his military support
  • Ramsay makes Theon culpable in his own downfall, one last time. Even after learning what kind of man he’s dealing with, Theon is still willing to turn poor Palla over to Ramsay to suffer rape and mutiliation and murder
  • Theon describes Palla as “a pound of flesh.” George is drawing from Shakespeare to emphasize the dramatic stakes at work. Theon has sold his soul, becoming the monster he thinks he must be to win the game
  • That’s what makes this scene such a perfect nightmare. It’s not just Ramsay steamrolling Theon; it’s Ramsay making Theon more like him
  • That process will only continue. Ramsay sheds the skin of Reek, only to force Theon to accept that name as his own. The abuser makes his victim complicit. You are stinking, worthless, you deserve what you get
  • Theon breaks in the face of torment from without and within. Ramsay takes advantage of his guilt and self-loathing. Ramsay did all this to be seen as a true member of his family, a true Bolton. Isn’t that why Theon did everything he’s done? To be seen as a Greyjoy? To have a place?
  • Ramsay represents the full extension of that logic. He will do anything to anyone in order to be the man he believes he is supposed to be. Those pale eyes are so chilling as he describes how he starved his wife to death after she called him a bastard. He took her castle and kept climbing
  • He hasn’t come for the woman Theon offers, but the woman Theon himself has been having sex with, Kyra. It’s his power move, his emasculation of Theon. Like Asha, he knows where to hurt Theon: sex
  • But while Asha was using tough love to get Theon to grow up, Ramsay is playing with his food. When Theon defies him, Ramsay smashes his face
  • The chapter explodes into fire and blood as the irony hits home for the reader. Ser Rodrik’s army didn’t herald Theon’s doom after all. It was Ramsay, the man he thought an ally, who has come to punish him
  • The Bolton men sweep over Winterfell, attacking Ironborn soldiers and Winterfell civilians alike. Theon was trapped between his two families, his two selves, and now the Bastard is tearing both of them down
  • Theon declared he would hold onto Winterfell no matter what. Now he sees the end result of his crusade: Winterfell burning to the ground
  • As you said, Ramsay almost gives away the game here by ordering his men to spare Big and Little Walder Frey
  • But the first time reader isn’t going to pick up on that, because of the sheer nightmarish power of the imagery
  • Winterfell is home, the cradle of the story itself. We fell in love with the castle in book one. It’s heartbreaking to watch it reduced
  • We’re like Davos watching his gods burn. Our reassuring mighty pillar is being taken away, and we’re alone in an uncertain and violent world
  • As for Theon himself, his last sight is of his horse Smiler screaming as he burns. Theon, of course, is always smiling, even when he shouldn’t. That’s how he was introduced to us: laughing at an execution, kicking the head like a ball. He never takes anything seriously
  • That immaturity has led him here. Ramsay broke his cheekbones and will soon begin breaking his teeth. Theon’s smile is on fire. His face is changing; his identity breaking. His next chapter will be titled “Reek.”
  • You crushed this entirely, man. Wow.
  • Of all the POV conclusions in ACOK, I think that only Catelyn’s conclusion rivals Theon’s for the best-written.
  • But oh what a journey it’s been traveling with Theon. And it’s remarkable that he was never intended to be a POV character until George decided he had to be one.
  • I think there’s a lot to take away from Theon’s journey in ACOK from a narrative and writerly perspective.
  • Back in 2010, George talked about one avenue that he writes, reportedly saying:
    • Another useful exercise for a writer is to write a story from the viewpoint of someone you hate. Someone who would violate all your...if you are right wing, write from the viewpoint of communist. Try to make that person human. It's a good exercise for building empathy. He really tries to get inside the skin of all his characters. Even Theon. Theon has his own reasons for doing appalling things so needs to be able to see why he does what he does and understand it.
  • That’s what’s made Theon so compelling. Theon had “reasons” for being an asshole and doing the horrible things he did, and George really got into his skin to write him as compellingly as he did.
  • But this is not merely a “let’s set Theon up for what’s to come in ASOS”; it’s an arc closer for Theon.
  • In a way, this chapter holds a similar feeling for me that Catelyn’s final chapter at the Red Wedding does.
  • The Red Wedding and the arrival of Ramsay conclude the story of Robb Stark and Theon of House Greyjoy.
  • Ramsay had rode to the walls of Winterfell, playing as Theon’s friend, offering grisly tokens of friendship to Theon.
  • In ASOS, Roose will do similarly with Catelyn, displaying a strip of Theon’s skin, pledging his loyalty to the Starks just before the knives come out.
  • And then the Boltons betray their “friends.”
  • Our heart breaks for Catelyn and Robb at the Red Wedding when those knives come out, and I felt my heart breaking when Luwin took a spear between his shoulder blades.
  • But it’s the sheer visceral horror of death that punctuates my feeling about the Red Wedding. Grey Wind dying at the Red Wedding and Smiler burning.
  • That horse didn’t deserve the fire. Maester Luwin didn’t deserve the spear in his back. The Winterfell staff do not deserve death or the march to the Dreadfort and the horrors there.
  • But with Theon, my heart doesn’t exactly break, and I think that’s George’s writing at its most effective here.
  • Instead, even as Theon reaps every shitty thing he’s sowed in ACOK, I feel pity for Theon.
  • And that’s great setup for when we pick back up with Theon in a few years in ADWD.

Foreshadowing/Groundwork

Theon is right that Robb will never look upon Winterfell again, but he doesn’t know why. The Red Wedding is coming!

Theon says that Asha can keep the Iron Islands, and if her story ends the same way as the show, she will indeed end up in charge of the Ironborn.

Luwin says that “the battle for the North will be fought among the ruins of Moat Cailin,” and we’ll see the end result of that play out in ADWD via Theon’s perspective.

Despite the utter destruction of Rodrik’s army, some of his men survive and melt into the Wolfswood, and then as Stannis marches through, they end up joining Stannis’ army.

Ramsay says he wants Kyra, and when we return to Theon’s perspective in ADWD, Ramsay has hunted her down.

Ramsay says that his wife called him Ramsay Snow, but he thinks his last name is Bolton. Come ASOS, Jaime will witness King Tommen signing a writ, legitimizing Ramsay as Bolton in name as well as deed.

Theory/Discussion

Ser Tim, a small council patron and the knight who was guided by voices, asks:

Fellas, I have a question for the next Theon episode.. Why didn’t GRRM give Theon a POV or much of a storyline in A Storm Of Swords? It’s a really long book and there was supposed to be a 5 year gap when it was written.

George in 2004:

Theon won't be in A FEAST FOR CROWS, but that's not to say he won't turn up again in some future volume. He's not dead... though at times he wishes he were. - SSM, 2004

So, thank you to Ser Tim for the question. If you’d like to ask us questions we’ll answer here on the NotACast pod-cast, you are welcome to become a Sworn Sword or higher level patron over at patreon.com/NotACastASOIAF where you can get show notes, bonus episodes, merch, shout-outs and more!

Conclusion

• Thanks for listening!
• Rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Soundcloud, Podbean etc.
• Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/notacastasoiaf
• Follow us on Twitter @NotACastASOIAF, email us at NotACastASOIAF@gmail.com
• Emmett’s social media, Jeff’s social media
• Thank you to our High Lords and Ladies on patreon!
  • Red Rahloo Himself who has renounced his allegiance to the Squishers
  • Lady of a Thousand Words
  • Septon Merrybald, the Shoeless Sage
  • Sister Winter - Lady of the Wolfswood
  • Nessie the Elusive, warden of the Neck, Defender of the North and Keeper of Secrets
  • Ser Thomas the Raven Knight, Lord of Blackwood
  • Ser Way of Course
  • Matt, Warden of the Sanguine Shore
  • Lord Sam K
  • Wisdom Benjicot, Alchemist of Sets and Quanta, Mage of the Arts of Boole and DeMorgan
  • Tibs the Great of House Catnapping
  • Lord J Manderly, Baker of the Frey Pies
  • Septon Merifullheadofhair
  • Lady Silverwing
  • Kaboth the Unfrozen, Lord of the Bricks and Castle Crimson Light
  • Ser Keith of House Corbray, wielder of Lady Forlorn
  • Lord Andrew - Warden of the Dubai Sands
  • Lord Young of the Ghost Woods
  • Lady Meera Reed, Wielder of Dark Sister, slayer of tinfoil
  • Ser Will of the Anarcho-Syndicalist Commune
  • Lord Clay
  • Ser Small Paul, Guardian of the Stone Haven, Defender of Dunnottar Castle
  • Septon T-Bone
  • Refined Wrangler of Icy Arachnids
  • Lady Veronica, who has abandoned the the orphans at the Inn at the Crossroads to become the Queen of Memes
  • Lady Danielle of House Lannister
  • Titanium Pirate
  • Lady Joan, Lady-Ranger of the Frost Fangs
  • Lady Aemy Blackfyre, Analyzer of Chinese Literature and Dismantler of the Patriarchy
  • Cydnii of House Qo, Princess of the Friendly Black Hotties in the Summer Isles
  • Random: Fierce Protector of Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things
  • Sir Lady Jordan Defender of the God's Eye
  • Lord Peter
• Join us in two weeks time for ACOK Tyrion XV, as Tyrion suffers a series of nightmares only to wake up in his even worse reality, and we’ll be back next week for our sloshed review of Zack Snyder’s Justice League!