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Nathan's Message to Natasha:

I only hope that you made it out alive Natasha. I write this while you sleep in my bed. I write this after I felt your tormenting breath while we danced in the halls after putting our children to sleep. I write this after you shuddered in fear for what will happen and I had to squeeze your worries away.

You might not know when I'm writing this because we've done it so many times; it's become a ritual between us. Even thinking of us makes me smile. Just remembering your name brings warmth to my heart.

How many years has it been since I've brought flowers to you? I remember when I brought you roses and you laughed at how clichéd it was. Then I brought you lillies and you looked at me fondly, calling me silly. Then I brought you Tulips and you gasped, telling me I shouldn't have.

And when I brought you Orchids, you laughed in delight and gifted me a smile that put everything I've seen to shame. After that, I brought you every flower there was. Some you loved, some you hated. There were even some you were allergic to. Those were the best because they gave me an excuse to spend more time with you.

And yet, here we are, still in love despite being forced apart.

It was the petals of those flowers that have withered and died, that fueled our love. I am sad for the sacrifices those flowers made for us.

I am sad for the sacrifice I'll have to make when the time comes.

I am sorry If you're reading this. It means that I couldn't fulfil my promise of being with you. There are so many things I still want to talk to you about, even after we've lived together for years.

I still remember the feeling of your tears soaking into my chest when the news of your husband's death reached us.

Soon after, even my soul trembled with grief and anger when the news of my wife being captured reached us. I remember holding the letter, sitting on our bed numbly, while you pressed yourself against me.

I remember that so very well. Only you gave me warmth in those times Natasha.

Only your name upon my lips and the fate of my child gives me the will to go on.

And so, I apologize.

For every unspoken word, I didn't have the courage to say.
For everything I did that hurt you.
For failing to meet you after I promised we would run away.

So I muster up the courage now. I muster up my courage to tell you that I love you, even though it's too late. I muster up my courage to tell you that I am sorry that you never saw me shed tears for us. I loved you even when the burdens of responsibilities were placed upon my shoulders. I loved you when I was forced to marry someone I did not know and love, and it is that love that has carried me so far.

I still love you, even though I am loyal to my deceased wife. Not a day passes by when I don't look at your sleeping form and think of laying next to you. Of kissing your forehead, and telling you those three words.

Not a day passes by when I don't think of what would have happened if we met beneath the mulberry tree.

What would have happened if we had run away and left everything behind. In the end, it's what we have done, haven't we?

We've run away, hiding from even our own kind, playing pretend they didn't exist. And now, I find myself unable to love you as my heart desperately desires. I can't, because I know it will only pain you. So I'll carry this burden for both of us.

Because in the end, looking back now, there is nothing left to call my own. Nothing but your love, and my child.

And I couldn't be more grateful.

Thank you.