August Intruder- Chapter 225- Five Celled Antimale Organism (Patreon)

“And I keep on saying that you shouldn’t allow Nin to boss you around all the time.”

Melmarc looked back at Ark, closing the door behind him with a sigh. “Nin doesn’t boss me around.”

<<Ow!>>

Melmarc paused and looked down. “Oh my gosh, Veebee. I’m so sorry.”

Veebee strolled into the room, rubbing his head. Its mouth moved as if it was muttering something as it did so, but Melmarc heard nothing. Ark stood at the door, looking at the both of them until Melmarc finally closed the door.

Ark nodded to Veebee and said to Melmarc, “What was that about?”

“What?” Melmarc asked a little defensive, knowing what Ark was talking about.

“You get a familiar and forget that you have one,” Ark cocked a brow. “That’s just irresponsible.”

“It’s not like that,” Melmarc groaned. Funny enough, he was aware of where Veebee was and what Veebee was doing, the problem was he had to focus on Veebee to be aware of him. He had to consciously think of Veebee. “He usually flies.”

Veebee paused, looked up at Melmarc and blinked. <<Veebee not fly.>>

“Hovers?” he rectified, remembering that Veebee was actually supposed to be some ancient all powerful being deserving of the respect.

Veebee shook his head. <<Veebee not hover.>>

Ark chuckled a little. “It’s like listening to a babyish and more polite Spitfire.”

“Levitate?” Melmarc tried again.

<<Veebee not levitate.>>

“Oh.” Melmarc paused, now he was confused. “What does Veebee do?”

<<Veebee exist.>>

Ark burst into laughter and intentionally fell over the three seater couch in their apartment. “Veebee exists,” he said, then laughed louder.

Melmarc ignored him and focused on Veebee while Ark continued to laugh as if he was watching the funniest thing in existence. “How exactly does Veebee… exist?”

Veebee shrugged. <<Like this?>>

He was suddenly levitating in the air again.

“Wait, what?” Ark blurted, climbing up the chair. “Did what I think happen just happen?”

Melmarc nodded very slowly, as confused and flabbergasted as his brother. Veebee hadn’t levitated until he was at eye level. Veebee had just suddenly become at eye level.

How?

Melmarc blinked the thought away, uttering it himself. “How?”

<<How what?>> Veebee asked, cocking its head to the side in confusion.

“How did you do that? You were there,” Melmarc pointed at the ground, “and now you are here.”

<<Veebee shift existence.>>

Veebee was looking at him as if he was dumb and Veebee could not understand why he was done.

“Veebee,” Ark said slowly, coming to join them, “shifted his existence.”

Veebee blinked at him, dots for eyes blinking like a cartoon character. <<Why Veebee he?>> he asked.

Melmarc blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

<<Veebee shift existence because Veebee existential being,>> Veebee said, answering Ark’s question and forgetting about his own.

Melmarc shook his head. “No, we’ll get back to that one. What do you mean why are you a he?”

<<[Demon Lord],>> Veebee pointed at Ark, <<call Veebee he. [August Intruder] call Veebee he. Why Veebee he?>>

Ark tilted his head very slowly. “Is Veebee a she?”

Veebee hovered in place, emulated Ark’s action. <<Why Veebee she?>>

“Hold up.” Melmarc raised his hand to stop everything. “Is Veebee a he?>>

Veebee shook his head. <<Veebee not he.>>

Melmarc swallowed visibly, then asked slowly. “Is Veebee a she?>>

Veebee looked down at what was supposed to be his groin and shrugged. <<Veebee not he.>>

Melmarc paused. Was he about to get some kind of education in existential being biology or whatever it was called. Veebee sounded like a boy so he had assumed that Veebee was male. And when Veebee wasn’t busy sounding like a boy, he sounded like a demon clawing at the gates of hell while cursing God. He wasn’t exactly sure what that sounded like in decibels, but it was just the feeling he got when Veebee chose to be ominous and all powerful.

“What,” he asked very carefully, “is Veebee?”

If Ark was sitting down right now, he would be on the edge of his seat with anticipation. He watched Veebee with almost wide eyes, and it was surprising that his mouth was not open.

Veebee looked at them as if they were making a mountain out of a molehill. It was almost as if it was not that serious and everybody was supposed to know.

<<Veebee it,>> Veebee answered.

Melmarc paused, blinked, looked at Ark. Ark was just as confused as he was.

“Veebee,” he said.

Veebee nodded. <<Yes?>>

“You told the gentle man a few days ago that you are in fact not an it.”

<<Veebee it.>>

“Yes,” Melmarc confirmed, “but you told the man that you are not an it.”

<<Yes.>>

“And now you’re saying you’re an it.”

<<Yes. Veebee it.>>

“Then why did you tell him that?”

<<Because Veebee not it… that time.>>

Ark squinted. “Is that an existential being thing?”

Veebee nodded happily. <<Yes. Veebee existential.>>

“And what was Veebee that time?” Melmarc asked.

Veebee paused. <<Veebee five celled antimale organism.>>

Melmarc opened his mouth, then closed it. He opened it again. Closed it. He pursed his lips, thought of what he was going to say, opened his mouth, closed it. A moment of silence passed within which no one said a word. Finally, Melmarc found his words.

“Spaghetti’s not in the fridge,” he blurted out.

Ark burst into another bout of laughter. “Oh my God, this is so hilarious. He broke you.” He sat on the ground, still laughing. “I did not see that coming.”

“Were you a five celled antimale organism at that time or are you a five celled antimale organism?” Melmarc asked, ignoring Ark’s jibes.

<<At that time.>>

“Then what is Veebee normally?”

<<Veebee existential being.>>

“And what is an existential being? What do we call them? He? She?—”

<<It,>> Veebee answered as if it was common knowledge. <<Veebee it.>>

Veebee blinked at him as if he—it—could not understand what he was not understanding.

“Veebee,” Ark said from the ground, almost wheezing in his laughter, “What do they call a five celled antimale organism?”

Veebee blinked. <<It.>>

Melmarc’s jaw dropped. “But you told the man that you’re not an it.”

<<Yes,>> Veebee nodded.

“So if you were an it, how come you were not an it.”

<<Veebee was it,>> Veebee pointed out. <<Veebee just tell [Sage] that Veebee not it.>>

Melmarc paused and a thought came to his mind. It couldn’t be, right? He wasn’t sure he wanted to believe it.

“How is that?” he asked, already suspecting the answer.

Veebee shrugged. <<Veebee lie.>>

Melmarc ran a hand down his face. “Oh.”

<<[Demon Lord] lie,>> Veebee said. <<And [August Intruder] lie when [August Intruder] not suppose to lie. Veebe not suppose to lie but Veebee try to lie.>> It grinned. <<Veebee lie well. Lying easy. Veebee not like but lying easy.>>

“Wait,” Melmarc slowed the conversation, “you lied because we lied?”

Veebee nodded. <<[August Intruder] not suppose to lie. If [August Intruder] find way to lie, Veebee learn way to lie too.>>

It smiled at him like a child waiting to be praised for doing the right thing.

Melmarc looked back at Ark in horror.

Ark was smiling. “Oh my God, Mel. We’re horrible parents.”

He burst into laughter again. Sometimes, just sometimes, Ark could be insufferable. Right now was one of those times.

Pushing it aside, Melmarc turned to Veebee to teach him the right thing. His mouth was open, his mind had generated the words, and the words were on his lips when he stopped himself. He had just found himself in a moral dilemma. The good thing was to tell Veebee that lying was bad and it was not supposed to lie. That was the good thing.

On the other hand, Veebee usually listens to him, so if he told it not to lie again, it would most probably not lie again. That was good… but was it right?

Veebee knew far too many things about far too many things. Veebee knew how to travel between worlds using the [EP] gathered by a Sapient being, amongst other most likely very powerful things.

Veebee was still beaming at him, waiting for his praise. But the beam was not so bright anymore. In fact, it was dimming, dying out. Eventually, it became a confused look.

<<Veebee do bad?>> it asked, crestfallen.

Ark grinned at that and pouted at Melmarc. “Veebee do bad?” he asked in a babyish voice.

Melmarc stared daggers at him before returning his attention to Veebee. “Oh, no, Veebee,” he answered quickly. “Veebee did not do bad.”

Veebee brightened up, beamed once more. <<Then Veebee do good.>>

“Uhm… no?” Melmarc said shaking his head.

“Veebee not do good or bad?” Ark teased, barely holding back his laughter. “Then what Veebee do?”

“Ark,” Melmarc chided.

Ark smiled. “Yes, brother mine.”

“You’re not helping.” That said, Melmarc returned his attention to Veebee.

<<Veebee not do good. Veebee not do bad. What Veebee do?>> Veebee asked, expression blank, as if all the emotions it had been showing had never existed.

“Uhm…” Melmarc wasn’t sure how to explain this concept of morality to Veebee. “Sometimes a thing can be right or wrong instead of good or bad,” he decided in the end. “Sometimes something good can be wrong and something bad can be right.”

What am I teaching a powerful being? he cried internally.

<<So, Veebee not focus on good and bad, Veebee focus on right and wrong?>> Veebee asked.

Melmarc hesitated. Ark said, “Yes.”

Veebee looked at Melmarc, awaiting his answer.

“Yes,” Melmarc answered. “Focus on right and wrong not good and bad.”

<<And how Veebee know right and wrong? Veebee already know some good and bad. Veebee not know any right and wrong. Only voidbeast right and wrong. How Veebee known Sentient right and wrong?>>

“Just listen to anything Melmarc says,” Ark answered. “If he says it’s right, then it’s right. If he says it’s wrong, then it’s wrong.”

Veebee looked at Melmarc again.

That was a lot of responsibility to put on one person. For starters. It wasn’t as if he knew everything about right and wrong. And even if he did, if Veebee listened only to what he said was right and wrong, what happened if he took advantage of that power and, in a moment of determined wrongness, he tells Veebee that what he is doing is right. There was the whole thing with finding the person that attacked his home in the person’s own world and almost killing them. If Veebee hadn’t stopped him, he would’ve killed someone who according to Ark didn’t deserve to die.

“Mel.”

Melmarc’s attention moved to Ark and he blinked. “What?”

“You’re doing that thing where you overthink the simple things again,” Ark pointed out, all laughter and fun gone from his face.

“No, I’m not.”

Ark sighed. “Are you overthinking this right now?”

“Yes.”

“Then you are.”

“No,” Melmarc shook his head. “This is not a simple thing.”

“I don’t know,” Ark shrugged. “It kinda is.”

Melmarc folded his arms, now petulant, Veebee temporarily forgotten about. “How?”

“Veebee’s your familiar,” Ark said.

<<[Existential Assistant],>> Veebee corrected.

Ark nodded in appreciation. “Thank you, Veebee. [Existential Assistant].”

“Yes,” Melmarc answered.

“And that means that he’s here to protect you to the best of his abilities and assist you no matter what.”

<<Veebee it.>>

“I know, Veebee,” Ark said, but did not apologize or correct himself before turning his attention back to Melmarc. “Veebee is here for you and you alone.”

“Veebee is here to make sure that I can be a good ruler of the world and do it right,” Melmarc corrected.

<<No,>> Veebee corrected.

Ark and Melmarc looked at it. “Sorry, what?” Melmarc asked, surprised.

<<Veebee not here to make [August Intruder] good ruler or anything.>> Veebee shrugged. <<Veebee not care about world. World burn and die, Veebee not care. Veebee here to assist [August Intruder]. If Melmarc want destroy world, then Veebee help destroy world. If Melmarc want destroy Existence, then Veebee help destroy Existence.>>

“That’s just—”

<<If Melmarc want make two [Invoker] and one [Weaver] coming bow,>> Veebee interrupted Ark, <<Veebee make two [Invoker] and one [Weaver] coming bow.>> It levitated higher and started floating over to the door. <<Veebee make two [Invoker] and one [Weaver] coming bow.>> It decided.

“No, no, no,” Melmarc said hurriedly, stopping it. “Don’t make them bow. They are our friends.”

Veebee paused at the door. <<Sentient not friends. Sentient property. Melmarc know this. Sentient that not property only property that not know it is property.>>

Ark let out a low whistle. “Spitfire was bad but he wasn’t this bad when I got him. You’ve got your work cut out for you, Mel.”

Turning, he walked over to one of the couches and sat down, turning the television on. As far as he was concerned, the conversation was adjourned to whenever next it had to happen.

Melmarc focused his attention on a new interest.

“Veebee,” he said, “do you know everyone’s class?”

Veebee nodded. <<Sentient beings are nothing but property. Only as useful as class.>>

“He’s got a point,” Ark called out on the couch, he was watching a basketball match that had already been played. “You don’t give your vacuum cleaner a name, do you? You just know that it’s a vacuum cleaner.”

Melmarc wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be impressed that Ark understood it or if he was supposed to be worried.

“Alright, Veebee,” he said, “how far are they from the door?”

Veebee peeked around the corner of nothing, hovering right in front of the door. It was clearly just an exaggerated action because it wasn’t as if its head went through the door or anything. In fact, it had been hovering in one spot when it did it. It paused, scratched its head.

It held its hands apart. <<This far?>>

Melmarc wasn’t sure if it was fucking with him or not. They would need to have a conversation about that eventually.

“This far is actually—”

There was a knock on the door.

“You know, Mel,” Ark said from the couch, “you’ve got to learn to trust your [Existential Assistant].”

“Sure,” Melmarc said sarcastically, then pointedly checked through the peep hole.

Unsurprisingly, Pelumi, Patience and Martha were waiting on the other side of the door. They were just standing there patiently, not talking, not saying anything. Just waiting.

“We’ve got food, right, Ark?” he asked, looking back.

Ark paused. “Did you cook?”

“No,” Melmarc answered.

“Then nope, we do not have food, just drinks.”

Melmarc turned the doorknob so that the girls would know that he was at the door. “And by drinks do you mean soft drinks or alcohol?”

Ark snorted. “Both.”

Of course.

Melmarc pulled the door open and put a smile on his face. They could handle food easily if anyone got hungry. Ordering a meal in Fallen High was fun. On account of a lot of people being Gifted, deliveries tended to be very fast.

“Hey,” he said, looking at all three girls, “please come in.”

“He looks healthy to me,” Martha said as they all trooped into the apartment and he closed the door. “Please, make yourself…”

His voice trailed off as all their eyes were fixed on him. In truth, they weren’t fixed on him, they were fixed on something just above his shoulder. Veebee.

“Uhm… Marc,” Patience started, unsure of how to continue.

Pelumi pointed. “You’ve got…”

Veebee hovered higher, out of Melmarc’s standing reach.

<<BOW!>> it declared in an ominous and deep baritone, <<To your—Ow!>>

Melmarc jumped and pulled it down by one of its legs. It struggled to rise back up for a while. Melmarc held it down, unrelenting, until it stopped struggling and gave him a confused look.

<<Why not let—>>

“No,” he scolded it. “You will not.”

He paused, looked away from Veebee and saw everyone staring at him as if he was probably not alright. Everyone, including Ark.

There was a moment of silence stained only by the sound of two men giving commentary on a basketball game.

Then Martha broke the silence.

“Oh my gosh!” she squealed. “It’s so cute!”