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DR 125 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-07-29 19:42:03
Edited:
2025-10-29 20:12:42
Imported:
2026-06
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Schnee-heart

Schnee-heart

Comments

Tony Martin

Yay Weiss. Thank you for explaining everything to Jaune. And I'm sure that after to get a plan in place for your father, you are going to go hunt down Pyrrha to sort her out. Very nice bit of character and relationship building for her.

Dragonhulk

Weis gets major best girl points for this, especially because she does bring up cultural reasons why Pyrrha rejected the idea and tried to help figure out the underlaying issue. Of course it may be that she sees it as a two way road, with June deferring to her on social aspects that he admits she's better at and she defers to him on things like magic, tactics, and other things that he has demonstrated himself to be superior in.

daniel koval

I really hoped we were past this -icefers autism but man it just keeps dragging on. We really need some major character growth for the MC, it’s been seen in the other characters but man it is lacking in the MC. Hopefully the story gets back onto the adventure soon. Edit: On reflection it’s the MC’s undeserved pride that is especially grating. He expects the world to bow to his wishes and everyone to immediately explain themselves to him, in a way he gets, and then gets pissy when things don’t go his way. On one hand this is incredibly well written characterization for the draconic influence but damn is it annoying to read when it keeps happening again and again. The world doesn’t revolve around him and he isn’t the biggest dick at the table, at least not yet, yet he keeps acting like every should kiss his ring. The MC needs a major ego check and soon. No Phyrra also needs some serious work also but damn a therapist with some badass bonafides that can make the cast sit down and listen while not letting them get away from the uncomfortable realities is needed.

Mr Mouse

Really sweet chapter, good to see progress with Weiss, and hopefully Pyrrha

Mark

Pyrrha needs to outright state that the blood feud could target other members of her family who are not as strong as they. She and MC may survive, but her family would be in a position to blackball her or face the consequences of her partners choices.

PublicLee Speaking

Can you explain what you mean by 'undeserved pride', and how asking for an explanation he can understand before he does something that someone else wants him to do is 'expecting the world to bow to his wishes and everyone to immediately explain themselves to him'?

E. William Brown

This indirectly reminds me of a question that's been bugging me off and on for about the last fifty chapters. Which is, what exactly does being stamped actually do in this setting? I ask, because as near as I can tell from the story the answer is 'absolutely nothing'. Yes, yes, I get that you don't want it to be a perfect mind control effect, and that makes sense and is certainly better than the way a lot of people write it. But you'd expect there to be some degree of mental effect, or else why all the moral concerns? At a bare minimum, you'd think that someone who is compelled to feel unshakeable loyalty to you forever would actually do things you ask them to do, or at least answer when you tell them to explain themselves. But even that doesn't seem to be the case. Pyrrha's lack of jealousy and willingness to recruit more girls for Jauncifer might be due to the Stamp (although maybe not - her behavior is understated enough that she might have other reasons to like the idea). But aside from that she seems like a completely normal teenage girl in a normal relationship, right down to the usual attempts to covertly run her boyfriend's life and turn him into her servant through social manipulation.If I was making guesses based purely on the story, I'd be forced to conclude that 'loyal' in this case means something like 'won't cheat on you with another guy', or maybe 'won't dump you for someone else'. Which would be a defensible interpretation from a strict rules lawyer point of view, but why would the Company bother handing out Stamps if they're that useless? My best theory so far is that the Stamp is affected by the intentions of the user, and it isn't doing much because Jauncifer doesn't want it to. Alternatively, maybe it only kicks in when you give orders instead of meekly making requests, which Jauncifer never does outside of combat. Whatever the explanation is, there's definitely something odd going on here.

asdo

That was a good chapter. Hopefully we find out what is going on with Pyrrha. Any excuse whatsoever from her would have been fine, but nothing at all just seemed strange.

PublicLee Speaking

The key component here is that she thinks what she's doing is for Jauncifer's own good, so her doing so is her being 'loyal' to him. However Loyal does not mean Compliant, and it certainly doesn't mean Obedient, as she is being pushed beyond what she'd normally do in order to do what is good for him, even if he personally disagrees. The Stamp is 100% in effect, but that's not necessarily a good thing here, it's just so subtle that it's very hard to easily pick out where Pyrrha ends, and the Stamp begins.

Michael Friede

For me it’s the refusal to say, “I don’t understand what the problem is. Please explain it.” Instead he demands an explanation, and diggs in his heels. Not always, and you handled the Weiss conversation in a much more fluid way and I like that. Pyrrah is in the wrong too, its Jaune’s tendency to demand that really gets to me. He’s not a child anymore, and I get the sense that he’s not used to being able to meet people in the middle. Pyrrah isn’t his sisters or his life on Earth.

daniel koval

Sure: if I had to assign a major sin to this incarnation it would be pride. That said it really fits the whole dragon side of the MC so I thought it was intentional. Throughout the entire story that’s been the core of this Jaunes triumphs and failures. It is pride that drove him to break out of the mold that his mother and sisters forced him into. It’s is also pride that he falls back onto in tough times, he takes a kind of perverse pride in throwing his shitty childhood into the face of people that he ends up in fights with. An example of the undeserved pride is how he makes no effort to change his approach to any of the people and circumstances in his life. He constantly bulldozes his way through any social situation and makes no attempts to modulate his own behavior or learn how to interact with the people close to him on their level. He has made no effort to learn about the various cultures of Remnant, he’s made no effort to learn the basic history of this world. He has learn a bit from what others have told him but put forth no effort to learn on his own, he has a lover that he treated poorly by not doing some basic googling of her culture, nor has he made any effort to learn other than asking people he has a complicated relationship with random questions. His behavior is egocentric, if it isn’t his way it is irrational. You can see this in his interactions with the main cast at throughout the series. He has never looked into how his smell is affecting his interactions with the various Faunus he meets, he insults various groups from Mistral by mocking (even if in his mind he is telling the truth) their religion by saying he is a dragon. Even if he is right the least he could do is take an evening and look into what’s going on there, hell talk to Oz, but that doesn’t even occurs to him. With these issues he goes around constantly saying things to the effect of “why didn’t they explain, why didn’t they ask” all while projecting a terrible attitude and acting like he owns every room his is in. He is creating enemies and alienating potential allies with his behavior all over. Oz has to smith ruffled feathers all over and the MC is oblivious. TLDR: he deserves to have pride in his accomplishments but he acts like a dick a lot. This in turn expresses as pride in things he didn’t earn. A more current look at this comes from the whole tournament issue. The MC just decided out of the blue, that his lover doesn’t get to fight. He didn’t consult her, he didn’t ask anyone their opinions, just made a decision and then gets offended that his wife in all but name is mad at him. Then tells her she has to explain to him how him making unilateral decisions with zero thought to her views, dreams, and wants needs to be broken down kindergarten style. This is a mix of the draconic pride “I am the leader, no one gets to question me.”, the massive mommy issues this MC carts around like a freaking dump truck, and the “iv fought the kiddy league of the world and beat them, all must bow to me” pride that has been building. Part of any successful relationship is communication and for whatever reason everyone is in verse is deathly allergic to any sort of meaningful communication and strengthening relationships. His character is a young, brash, prideful, and powerful new hunter. That while having some pretty serious achievements under his belt his general attitude and bearing ruins it. Now I thought this was intentional as a way to show the draconic effect on his mind and actions but the MC has not fought anything that has given him a real smack down. The audience keeps seeing these powerful precursor grim, ones that show the Bethmoths are animals at best while the hordes are fodder. Then we see the MC going “I kicked a bethmoths ass”, when he keeps relying on OOC powers to win while not fighting the real enemy. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing as the MC doesn’t know they exist. But it does get annoying when we, the audience, see him swagger into a meeting of people that have been fighting these wars for decades and demand their respect when he has done comparatively little. All that said thought, I thought it was intentional and we would see some growth from the MC internally with him having to master his instincts and grow and mature as a person but so far that has stalled out for a long time. The rest of the cast all have major issues and contribute to the problem but this is specifically about the MC. Now I am on Patron because I like your writing, I want to fund your journey as an author. Don’t take any of this as an attack on you, I am here because I am invested in multiple stories you write and I have loved the various stories evolve. This is more a critique/my thoughts on this specific MC and his issues. It is very jarring to go from some of your other stories/verses where the characters grow and evolve and then back to this one where the MC is very very different.

PublicLee Speaking

Michael, it seems like your issue is tone, because he did ask for an explanation, and only dug his heels in when he didn't get one he could understand. He literally went 'I don't know what your problem is, can you please explain it' and when he argued against her point, which is allowed just like she's allowed to argue against his, she just kept repeating it, and then tried to cash yet another check on their relationship while, when he tried to do the same, she refused to honor it. Daniel, literally all of your cultural incapability issues also apply to Yang, Ruby, Blake, Nora, and Pyrrha (especially Pyrrha and Yang, as, from your statement, their position as his paramours would mean that they should've spent extra special attention to understand him). Are they also suffering from 'undeserved pride'? I also don't get what's 'undeserved' about it, other than possibly the behemoth fights, but even holding his own against them as he did is a massive achievement. He's also fully aware he won those by slim margins, but, again, compared to what most Huntsmen can do, he's automatically in the top 10% with his performance, likely higher. You can say he's arrogant, but the phrase 'undeserved pride' doesn't make a ton of sense. As for 'throwing his childhood trauma in their faces', does that mean Blake talking about Faunus issues is her 'throwing her childhood trauma in their faces', Weiss's issues with the White Fang/her father, or Nora's Orphan-ness? It honestly seems that you're holding Jauncifer to a standard that most of the cast would also fail, except for some reason they get a pass. Edit: Also, claiming he believes that 'If it isn't his way it's irrational', when, after given an explanation, he nods and goes 'oh, that makes sense', is, ironically, itself irrational. You can understand someone's point without agreeing with them, and it was Pyrrha's twin problems of refusing to explain and making their relationship a one-way street that caused their fight, not his claims that she was being 'irrational'. Edit 2: Also, he didn't 'out of the blue decide she didn't get to fight', he came up with an idea about going about it, in a way that would let everyone but him strut their stuff in a 2v1 they could absolutely win, and was looking for feedback. The problem was that feedback was poorly explained, and then just re-iterated over and over with no attempt to help him understand, and then abandoned in a display of their relationship being very one-sided. Honestly, you seem to be going out of your way to cast his actions in the worst possible light, and I don't see why.

Denn Mael

Weiss becomes a great person as soon as her racism clears up. She gets over it like a bad cold. Blake on the other hand stays racist, but is ultimately forgiven because 1 catgirl, and 2 bellabooty.

TheGrog

P doubled down and continued without doing the intelligent thing and appealing to authority. Has the stamp effect forced her into some kind of thought loop? Or is she getting caught in cultural thought patterns and/or being stupid ...

Dragonhulk

Lee if I may, I do want to point out a valid concern from the original post, and that is the feeling of exhaustion some of your readers may feel seeing a character (younger you) deal with the same social issues in different settings. While I personally believe that the viewpoint of the SI works well in reframing different properties you may want to consider a future magical glimpse with an OC instead of an SI so people can have a story where the main character doesn't have these issues.

suspiciouscoffee

Rereading the chapter after a bit of thought, it occurs to me that Pyrrha may be in a precarious spot. Her dad is 5th son of a minor clan? That sounds like just enough to rise without having the backing to avoid getting squished by those watching for rising powers. If Pyrrha wouldn't bend her knee to throw fights or do illegal shit, she may have turned to someone who would keep her from getting murdered in her sleep or something, and connect to all the benefits she got. What if her not talking about why is related to that? She might be unwilling to talk due to the questions it would raise if she is sworn to secrecy about something, just as Jaune won't break his word to her.

Verdauga

Weiss came in absolutely clutch here.