[Lucifer] Ch: 30 [Beauty and the Devil] (Patreon)

[That Night]

Lucifer Morningstar had entered Alexandra's apartment with expectations.

He hadn't voiced them because even he had enough social awareness to know that announcing them would probably ruin the evening. Still, after an entire day of chess, yoga, hiking, lunch by the ocean, laser tag, and enough emotional honesty to make Linda proud, Lucifer had naturally assumed the night would eventually move toward something more familiar.

Preferably something involving Alexandra pressed against him, several hours of enthusiastic kissing, and a bedroom door that remained firmly closed until morning as they made love like there's no tomorrow.

A man could dream.

Instead, Lucifer found himself sitting on Alexandra's couch with one arm stretched across the backrest while an animated red-haired mermaid sang about wanting to become human on the television.

He slowly looked toward Alexandra.

She was curled comfortably into the opposite corner of the couch with a bowl of popcorn resting across her thighs, completely absorbed in the movie.

Lucifer glanced toward the television again.

Then he checked the time.

They'd been watching cartoons for almost an hour.

"This is what you invited me upstairs for?" Lucifer finally asked, sounding personally betrayed by the universe. "I've spent thousands of years inspiring temptation across civilization, and somehow my evening has become an animated musical about a teenage mermaid making terrible contractual decisions."

Alexandra kept watching the screen while reaching into the popcorn bowl. "You said you didn't have plans."

"I didn't realize that statement constituted consent to Disney."

She laughed and threw a piece of popcorn toward him. Lucifer caught it without looking and placed it inside his mouth with an expression that suggested even his irritation required perfect style.

"You've seriously never watched The Little Mermaid?" Alexandra asked.

Lucifer gave her an offended glance. "Darling, I've met mermaids." Flashes of old memories appeared in his head, back when he was in the Silver City.

Alexandra slowly turned toward him. 'Oh, the way he says it with full confidence... I can't even tell if he's joking or dead serious.'

Lucifer continued watching the television with complete seriousness.

"You've met mermaids."

"Several varieties, actually. Most are considerably less musical and significantly more unpleasant once they're hungry."

Alexandra stared at him for several seconds before shaking her head and returning her attention to the movie. "I don't even know why I keep asking questions when I already know you're going to say something insane."

"Truth frequently sounds insane when reality has been aggressively sanitized by children's entertainment," He replied.

Alexandra smiled into the popcorn bowl. "So you're saying Disney lied to us."

"Constantly. Although the singing crab is surprisingly believable."

She burst out laughing, nearly spilling popcorn across herself.

Lucifer's mouth curved into a satisfied smile as he watched her recover. He'd discovered throughout the day that making Alexandra laugh felt strangely rewarding, especially when she stopped trying to maintain the polished composure she'd developed around cameras and strangers.

By the time Ariel reached her happy ending, Alexandra had moved closer without saying anything. Her bare feet rested under one leg, and her shoulder leaned against Lucifer's side. His arm shifted from the back of the couch and settled around her shoulders. It felt comfortable enough that he didn't question it.

The credits began rolling.

Lucifer stared at the screen thoughtfully.

"So," Alexandra said as she tilted her head toward him, "what did you think?"

Lucifer considered his answer. "Sebastian carried the entire production."

Alexandra raised an eyebrow. "That's your review?"

"The crab understood responsibility, contractual danger, and romantic timing considerably better than every human and aquatic creature surrounding him."

"You liked it."

"I tolerated it with unexpected enthusiasm."

"You liked it," Alexandra repeated while smiling.

Lucifer looked down at her. "I refuse to provide you with evidence that may later be used against me."

Alexandra reached for the remote and immediately started searching through another menu.

Lucifer's eyes narrowed.

"What are you doing?" 

"Picking the next movie."

He looked toward the clock again. "There's another one?"

Alexandra looked delighted by his concern. "Moulin Rouge."

Lucifer stared at her.

She kept smiling.

"You've trapped me."

"You can leave whenever you want."

Lucifer looked toward the front door, then toward Alexandra curled comfortably against him. He made absolutely no attempt to move.

Alexandra's smile widened. "That's what I thought."

Lucifer gave her a suspicious look. "You're becoming dangerously smug."

"Maybe you're rubbing off on me."

His eyebrows lifted immediately.

Alexandra realized what she'd said and pointed one warning finger toward him before he could open his mouth. "Don't."

Lucifer smiled innocently. "I hadn't said anything."

"Your face did."

"My face is incapable of inappropriate behavior. It's far too handsome."

Alexandra groaned and started the movie.

The next two hours passed far differently from anything Lucifer had expected when he'd followed her upstairs.

They ate popcorn, argued about musical choices, commented on costumes, and repeatedly interrupted one another whenever either thought a scene deserved criticism. Lucifer knew far more about nineteenth-century Paris than Alexandra expected, although most of his historical commentary involved brothels, alcohol, artists who owed him money, and musicians he'd apparently insulted personally.

Alexandra had eventually stopped asking whether any of the stories were true. She was simply enjoying his stories.

Nearly halfway through the film, Christian and Satine reached the elephant room.

Lucifer had been watching with moderate interest when something on the television suddenly caught his attention.

His posture shifted as he narrowed his eyes and said, "Hold on."

Alexandra turned toward him. "What?"

Lucifer pointed toward the television. "Nicole Kidman's nipple."

Alexandra blinked. 

"What?"

"There," Lucifer said with absolute certainty while pointing again. "During the poetry-reading scene. Wardrobe malfunction."

Alexandra stared at the screen, then slowly turned toward him with disbelief. "That's what you noticed?"

Lucifer looked genuinely confused by the question. "Of course I noticed. I possess exceptional observational abilities."

"You've spent the entire movie pretending you're analyzing the story."

"I can appreciate tragedy and breasts simultaneously. Human civilization has accomplished far more difficult forms of multitasking."

Alexandra grabbed a couch pillow and hit him across the chest.

Lucifer laughed as he caught it before she could strike again.

"You are unbelievable," She said.

"I merely pointed out something historically relevant to the production."

"Her nipple isn't historically relevant."

"That depends entirely upon the historian."

Alexandra tried to take the pillow back, though Lucifer held it beyond her reach.

"Gimme that."

"You attacked me with it."

"You deserved it."

Lucifer gave her a wounded look. "Violence because I appreciated Nicole Kidman's anatomy. What a terribly repressive household."

Alexandra reached farther across him in an attempt to grab the pillow. Lucifer moved it again, causing her to nearly fall across his lap before catching herself against his chest.

They both stopped.

Her face was suddenly much closer to his. 'I can't bring myself to hate this smug and egotistic man. And I think... I like him a little too much. Should I kiss him? What if he thinks I'm too desperate? Gotta hold it till our third date. Damn! This will be really hard. I'm gonna jump on him if he takes the initiative.'

Lucifer looked down at her.

Alexandra slowly narrowed her eyes. "You're enjoying this."

"Immensely." He looked into her eyes.

She grabbed the pillow with her other hand while he was distracted and pulled it away triumphantly.

Lucifer stared after it.

"Deception."

"You got distracted."

"I was presented with unusually compelling circumstances."

Alexandra laughed before settling against him again, hugging the stolen pillow against her stomach while the movie continued.

Lucifer shook his head and looked back at the television. He thought he should be bored, but that thought bothered him. He had watched an animated mermaid and a sad musical. Surprisingly, he wasn't disappointed. That fact scared him more than anything else that had happened recently.

Eventually, the last scenes of Moulin Rouge played on the screen.

The moment the curtain falls and the cheering audience is closed off, the tragic reality of Satine's long-term illness strikes. She collapses on stage behind the curtain, gasping for air. Surrounded by Zidler, the cast, and a panicked Christian, she realizes she is dying. In her final moments, she comforts a weeping Christian and asks him to write their story. She tells him that by writing down everything they went through, they will keep each other alive forever. She takes her final breath in his arms.

The film loops back around to the opening scene. A hollowed-out Christian finishing the final pages of his manuscript on his typewriter. The camera pans away from his lonely Montmartre room, tracking past a dark, closed, and quiet Moulin Rouge windmill. The vibrant, chaotic colors of the movie fade away into a cold, blue tint.

Christian provides the final voiceover: "Days turn into weeks, weeks into months. And then, one day, the pain decreases. But the love for her will live forever... The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."

The screen faded toward the ending as Alexandra remained unusually quiet beside him.

Lucifer glanced down at her.

She was still leaning against his chest, though the playful smile she'd worn through most of the evening had disappeared.

The credits began.

For several seconds, neither of them said anything.

Then Lucifer looked toward the television and released a disapproving breath. "Well, that was unnecessarily depressing."

Alexandra's eyes stayed on the television as the credits continued rolling. "You spent half the movie insulting everyone's decisions, and now you're upset because the ending made you sad."

Lucifer looked down at her with mild offense. "I'm criticizing the unnecessary cruelty of the narrative. The poor bastard finally finds someone he loves, survives jealousy, manipulation, poverty, and an extraordinarily questionable amount of singing, only for tuberculosis to stroll in and ruin everything."

Alexandra smiled faintly before resting her head against his chest again. "That's kind of the point, though. They didn't get forever, but what they had still mattered."

Something about the sentence settled uncomfortably inside him. Lucifer looked toward the dark television while old memories moved somewhere beneath Karl's thoughts, carrying faces from Heaven, Hell, and thousands of years he couldn't separate cleanly anymore.

"Humans do have an irritating habit of making temporary things feel incredibly important," he said.

Alexandra tilted her head enough to look at him. "You say humans like you aren't one of us."

Lucifer's mouth curved slightly. "Darling, I've repeatedly told you exactly what I am. Your continued refusal to believe me is becoming quite adorable."

She rolled her eyes, though she stayed comfortably against him. "Fine, Mister Devil. Have you ever been in love?"

The question caught him completely unprepared.

Lucifer's fingers stopped moving against her shoulder as he stared ahead for several seconds. He could've made a joke, changed the subject, or given one of his usual dramatic answers, yet lying wasn't available to him and Alexandra seemed genuinely curious.

"I don't know," he admitted quietly. "I've desired people, cared for people, fought beside them, protected them, and lost enough to understand that attachment can hurt like absolute hell. Love itself has always seemed considerably harder to identify."

Alexandra studied him carefully. "That might be the most honest thing you've said all day."

"I'm always honest," Lucifer replied, though his tone remained softer than usual. "Occasionally, I simply decorate the truth until everyone becomes distracted."

She smiled. "Maybe you don't have to figure it out immediately. Sometimes you just enjoy being around someone and see where things eventually go."

Lucifer thought for a moment, recognizing Linda's advice almost word for word despite Alexandra having absolutely no idea she'd repeated it. "That appears to be an increasingly popular philosophy around me," he said.

Alexandra said, "Maybe everyone else understands something you don't."

"That possibility is deeply offensive."

She lifted herself slightly, bringing her face closer to his. Lucifer's eyes dropped toward her lips, and for several seconds the room became very quiet.

Alexandra clearly noticed where he was looking. "We're still keeping things relatively respectable tonight."

Lucifer gave her a slow smile. "I admire your optimism regarding my ability to remain respectable."

She leaned forward and kissed him anyway.

The kiss stayed soft and unhurried. Lucifer rested one hand against her waist while Alexandra smiled against his lips before pulling away.

She picked up the remote.

Lucifer glanced suspiciously toward the television. “Please tell me you aren’t selecting another emotionally devastating musical.”

Alexandra started scrolling through the movie list with an innocent smile. “I was thinking Beauty and the Beast.”

--