[Lucifer] Ch: 47 [The Devil Babysits] (Patreon)

AN: Didn't get time to edit. A bad rainstorm is going on. Wifi down. Had to use mobile internet. Let me know if you find any mistake. I'll fix them tomorrow.

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[Trixie's School] [Afternoon]

Lucifer pulled the Corvette into the pickup area outside Trixie's school, right on time.

Chloe had called the school ahead of time and informed the front office that Lucifer Morningstar would be picking up Beatrice that afternoon. 

He stepped out of the Corvette and waited near the front gate while children poured from the building in noisy groups carrying backpacks.

Several parents glanced toward him.

A few mothers glanced twice... more than twice. His devilish charm was on, so they couldn't help themselves.

Lucifer adjusted one cuff with a satisfied smile before searching through the crowd.

Then a familiar little voice rose above everything else.

"Lucifer!"

Trixie came running toward him with a huge smile, her backpack bouncing against her shoulders while her dark hair moved around her face.

Lucifer barely had time to brace himself before she wrapped both arms around his waist. He looked down at her before resting one hand gently on top of her head and giving her hair his usual affectionate pat.

"Hello, tiny human. I see you've survived another grueling day inside the child prisons."

Trixie pulled back and looked around him with immediate curiosity. "Where's my Mommy?"

Lucifer's expression softened slightly as he remembered exactly why Chloe had asked him to come. "Your mother is currently knee-deep in some rather tedious police business, so I have been tasked with keeping you out of trouble until further notice."

Trixie accepted that explanation almost immediately. "Okay."

Lucifer blinked as they started walking toward the parking lot. "That's it? No interrogation regarding my qualifications, criminal background, or complete lack of experience supervising small humans?"

Trixie looked up at him. "Mommy trusts you."

The simple answer slowed Lucifer for half a step.

He quickly recovered and continued toward the Corvette while pretending the words hadn't landed somewhere unexpectedly uncomfortable inside his chest.

"Well, naturally she does. Your mother is finally developing excellent judgment."

They reached the car, and Lucifer pulled out his phone before opening the passenger door.

Chloe answered after the second ring.

Lucifer leaned against the Corvette while Trixie waited beside him. "Detective! Happy to report I have successfully extracted your offspring from the educational facility. No international incidents to speak of."

Chloe released a quiet breath. "Thank you, Lucifer. Seriously. I'll call you when I know how long this mess with Dan is going to take."

Lucifer glanced toward Trixie before lowering his voice slightly. "Take all the time you need, Detective."

Chloe thanked him again before ending the call.

Lucifer slipped the phone into his pocket and opened the passenger-side door with a theatrical flourish.

"Your chariot awaits."

Trixie looked at the Corvette, then slowly looked up at him. "Can I drive?"

Lucifer considered the request with impressive seriousness. "Hmm. Perhaps when your feet can actually reach the pedals."

Her eyes brightened immediately. "Really?"

Lucifer helped her climb into the seat before reaching across and making sure her seat belt was secured properly. "Of course. Unlike your mother, I'm a firm believer in introducing a healthy amount of reckless endangerment early in life."

Trixie grinned while Lucifer closed the door and walked around the front of the Corvette.

She removed her school backpack and placed it across her lap while Lucifer settled into the driver's seat and started the engine.

He glanced toward her as he pulled away from the curb. "Right. So, are you hungry?"

Trixie nodded enthusiastically. "Uh-huh. I want chocolate cake and ice cream."

'I knew it.' Lucifer slowly turned his head toward her. "For your actual meal?"

Trixie nodded again with complete confidence. "Chocolate cake and ice cream."

Lucifer faced the road while considering the request. For perhaps the first time in his existence, he found himself experiencing something dangerously close to responsible adult instincts.

"Your mother entrusted you to my care. I feel there's an unspoken expectation that I provide sustenance containing vitamins, or proteins, or whatever it is you growing humans require to not wither away."

Trixie looked at him seriously. "Chocolate comes from cocoa beans."

Lucifer glanced over.

She continued with perfect confidence. "Beans are a vegetable. Vegetables are healthy."

A smile tugged at Lucifer's mouth despite his effort to remain responsible. "That is an appallingly deceptive leap of logic... and I couldn't be prouder. To the dessert counter!"

Twenty minutes later, Lucifer discovered that responsible adulthood had lasted considerably less time than expected.

They sat inside a shopping mall food court with an enormous slice of chocolate cake between them, two bowls of vanilla ice cream, and enough chocolate syrup to concern most medical professionals.

Lucifer had originally intended to purchase Trixie something sensible first. That plan had collapsed the moment she pointed toward the dessert counter. He took another spoonful of cake and ice cream while studying the mixture with growing approval. "I must admit, this combination is considerably better than I expected."

Trixie smiled around her spoon. "I told you."

Lucifer pointed his spoon toward her. "Don't get smug, child. It's unbecoming of someone who still requires a step stool to brush her teeth."

Trixie scooped more ice cream onto the cake. "You're smug all the time."

Lucifer paused.

He slowly lowered his spoon.

"Who taught you that word?" He asked.

Trixie shrugged casually. "Mommy."

Lucifer nodded as though that explained everything. "Of course she did. Your mother has clearly been spreading malicious propaganda about me."

Trixie giggled while Lucifer took another bite.

For the next several minutes, they ate in comfortable silence while crowds moved around the food court. Lucifer occasionally caught himself watching Trixie as she carefully tried to create what she called the perfect cake-to-ice-cream ratio.

It was strangely peaceful.

There was no celestial crisis, murder investigation, family argument, or complicated discussion about destiny. There was simply a seven-year-old girl eating too much sugar while informing him that his technique was completely wrong.

Lucifer hadn't realized how much he'd needed something that ordinary. 'Enjoy the sugar, kiddo. After your mom learns, she'll ban you from eating chocolate for a week.'

Trixie's attention suddenly shifted past him.

Her eyes widened.

Lucifer followed her gaze toward the cinema entrance attached to the far side of the food court.

A large colorful poster advertised Kung Fu Panda 3.

Trixie immediately looked back at him.

Lucifer recognized the expression.

"No. Absolutely not."

Trixie blinked innocently. "I didn't say anything."

"You didn't need to. I recognize a con when I see one, and frankly, your technique lacks subtlety."

Trixie pointed toward the theater. "Kung Fu Panda 3."

"Yes, I can read the poster."

"It's about a panda that knows kung fu."

"I gathered that from the enormous martial-arts panda dominating the poster."

Trixie leaned forward over the table. "Can we please go see it?"

Lucifer looked toward the theatre again. He had absolutely no interest in spending the next two hours surrounded by children while watching an animated panda learn something emotionally uplifting. 

He looked back at Trixie.

She smiled hopefully.

Lucifer sighed.

"Alright, fine." 

Ten minutes later, Lucifer walked into the theater carrying two buckets of popcorn, two drinks, and another bag of candy because Trixie had somehow convinced him movie snacks were mandatory despite the cake and ice cream they'd just finished.

They found seats near the middle.

Trixie sat comfortably beside him while Lucifer removed his coat, folded it with unnecessary care, and placed it across the empty seat beside him.

"If anyone kicks the back of my chair," Lucifer murmured while examining the surrounding children, "I'm invoking divine punishment."

Trixie looked up at him. "Mommy says you can't threaten kids."

"I'm not threatening them with physical harm. Divine punishment can be entirely psychological. Terrible Wi-Fi, socks for Christmas, that sort of thing."

"You're so funny," Trixie said with a giggle as the lights dimmed.

Lucifer expected boredom.

Instead, somewhere around twenty minutes into the movie, he stopped pretending he wasn't enjoying himself. He laughed at Po's ridiculousness, criticized several fighting techniques under his breath, and became strangely invested in the panda village despite repeatedly insisting that the entire concept was absurd.

At one point, Trixie looked toward him and caught him smiling broadly at the screen.

Lucifer immediately straightened his expression. "Don't."

Trixie's grin became enormous. "You like it."

"I am merely tolerating it."

"You like Po."

"I respect his commitment to the bit."

Trixie leaned closer. "You love it."

Lucifer grabbed a handful of popcorn and pointed toward the screen. "Watch the bloody panda."

Trixie laughed quietly and returned her attention toward the movie.

Somewhere near the end, she rested her head against Lucifer's arm. He looked down. Her eyes remained fixed on the screen while one small hand held the popcorn container against her lap.

Lucifer stayed completely still.

After a moment, he adjusted his arm slightly so she could rest more comfortably.

He didn't comment on it.

Neither did Trixie.

When the credits finally began, she stretched and looked up at him with a satisfied smile.

"That was awesome."

Lucifer stood, collected his jacket, and gave the screen one final glance. "It was surprisingly adequate."

Trixie narrowed her eyes.

Lucifer sighed dramatically. "Alright, fine. The panda has moves. Are you happy?"

She smiled triumphantly and took his hand as they started walking toward the exit.

Lucifer looked down at their joined hands.

He could've pulled away.

Instead, his fingers gently closed around hers while they walked through the crowd together.

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[Chloe's Apartment] [Evening]

Chloe stood in the middle of the living room with her arms folded and her eyes narrowed toward the front door.

She'd arrived home less than ten minutes earlier expecting to find Trixie watching television and Lucifer doing something inappropriate with her kitchen, yet the apartment had been completely empty. Chloe had checked Trixie's room, the bathroom, and even the backyard before pulling out her phone and preparing to call Lucifer.

That was when the lock finally turned.

The door opened, and Trixie walked inside first with Lucifer following directly behind her.

Chloe's eyes immediately dropped toward the small shopping bag hanging from Trixie's hand.

Trixie froze.

Slowly, she moved the bag behind her back while giving Chloe the most innocent smile she could manage.

Lucifer noticed the movement and looked toward the wall clock.

They were late...

...Very late.

Lucifer smoothly adjusted his coat and began backing toward the still-open door. "Ah, Detective! I see you've successfully returned from your tedious police affairs. Right, well, my work here is done, I think I'll just see myself out. Enjoy the family reunion."

Chloe smiled sweetly while keeping her arms crossed. "Take one more step toward that door, Lucifer, and see what happens."

Lucifer stopped immediately and slowly looked back toward her. "Right. Well. That smile is significantly more terrifying than your service weapon."

Chloe ignored him and looked down at Trixie. "And you, young lady, go change, wash your face, and start your homework before I find out what else you've convinced Lucifer to buy."

Trixie clutched the bag tighter and hurried toward her room. "Okay, Mommy."

Chloe watched her disappear into her bedroom before finally releasing a long breath. She rubbed both hands over her face, then looked toward Lucifer, who was still standing suspiciously close to the exit.

"So... was she too much?"

Lucifer's expression changed immediately. He stepped away from the door and slipped both hands into his pockets. "Hardly. She is remarkably entertaining. Slightly manipulative, alarmingly persuasive, and she possesses a truly diabolical talent for exploiting loopholes. I'm taking notes, frankly."

Chloe narrowed her eyes. "What did you feed her?"

Lucifer hesitated for half a second. "Food."

Chloe stared at him.

Lucifer sighed. "A modest appetizer of chocolate cake and ice cream, followed by popcorn, various gummy sweets, and whatever radioactive syrup they pump into those cinema sodas."

Chloe's mouth slowly opened. "Lucifer."

"In my defense, she presented a surprisingly compelling argument regarding cocoa beans being vegetables."

Chloe closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Lucifer smiled faintly before his expression softened. "She wasn't a burden, Detective. We had a rather lovely afternoon. We dined, we watched a film about an impossibly agile panda, we did a bit of light consumerism, and she talked without pausing for breath."

He glanced toward Trixie's bedroom.

"She's a wonderful kid."

Chloe looked at him for a moment, and 80% of the irritation left her face. "Yeah. She really is."

Lucifer smiled. "Though come tomorrow morning, you may want to brace yourself for the inevitable sugar crash. Godspeed with that."

Chloe chuckled a bit. Then she walked toward him. "Thank you for everything, Lucifer."

Lucifer noticed her sad face. She was putting up her usual face for Trixie, and he could tell it was hard for her. She had to make some hard choices today.

"You alright?" He asked, looking concerned.

Chloe shook her head.

Lucifer closed the main door. "It was hard, wasn't it?"

"Yes. It was. I don't know, Lucifer," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. The fierce, unyielding detective looked entirely exhausted. "Some days, the line between the right choice and the necessary one is just... so blurred. I feel like I'm constantly choosing between a bad option and a worse one."

...

[Meanwhile...] [Back at the warehouse]

Amenadiel appeared before the open floorboard. He bent down and noticed a tiny drop of blood. He touched it and felt Lucifer's divine energy.

"Blood... You are actually becoming mortal. Did you expend the last of your divine grace just to stand against me? Oh, Lucifer... do you have any earthly idea what this means?"

With a burst of wind, he disappeared.