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AD FREE: Story Report - Everyone Is Lying to You (Patreon)

Published:
2025-09-10 18:52:20
Imported:
2025-09
Tags:

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Content

Mrs Pearlmania's STORY REPORT returns with a Trad Wife influencer murder mystery thriller! This month our favorite momfluencer read a book that is so incredible it made Mr. Pearlmania audibly gasp MULTIPLE TIMES. 

This story has it all: thinly veiled references to Ballerina Farms, Harrison Butker, and the secret lives of mormon wives; instagram frenemy stalking; and so many well deserved twists that it LITERALLY makes Mr. P applaud out loud. 

As always the story reports are AUDIO ONLY! So sit back, relax and enjoy the experience. 

Files

Comments

ScrambledPhoenixEggs

Perfect timing! Just finished an exhausting note from a difficult patient yesterday and it's my day off so I need to kickstart some fun!

_WaWa_is_taking_over_AL_

I love that Mrs. P has the beauty school experience but it’s Mr. P who fucked up baby pearlmania’s hair 😂😂😂 sincerely someone who cut her toddler son’s fringe bang backward and he looked like an Asian little lad

Rockstache

Two quick notes while I work: I had to help my sister in law trim my niece's mullet because the kid's hair grew in uneven and it was horrific torture for everyone involved.

Rockstache

Second note: before my kid started 4K this year, I could wake up at 6 am, play Fallout 76 or No Man's Sky for an hour, but now kiddo wakes up at 615 or 639 for school. Bye bye gaming morning.

Aricka Doble

I just placed this on hold in my library app. Im so excited to read this. Its like grown up Nancy Drew and Desperate Housewives had a baby

tach.o

I’m so happy it’s soup season. I love my potato soup- can’t wait to hear Mrs P’s 🥔 🥔

March

Not to be just the absolute biggest nerd but "Bex" was the shout in the dragon language in skyrim that was used to open the gate when you were practicing whirlwind sprint. So having the nickname becks or "bex" meaning open in dragon speak and she is a sluty college girl just makes me laugh

tach.o

I’m only 27 min in and I am ready to RIDE AT DAWN to end Grayson 😤🤬

shmelbyyy

YAY GRAYSONS DEAD lol

Caitlanabanana

Yes pleeeaaaaase! I need a palate cleanse from the news 😵‍💫

Rockstache

I've heard that chickens attract as many bugs as they eat, and I hope for Mrs. P's sake that I'm wrong.

Mrs._P's_Slug_Tongs

OH MY GOD I FEEL SO SEEN YALL I AM THE HEAD BAKER AT SUCH A BUSY FUCKING BAKERY I START AT 4:30 AM BC BREAD PROOFING AND DONT GO HOME TILL LIKE 2-3PM I am forever sleep deprived but thankfully I have Too Many Tabs in my ear holes all day

Still Waiting For Mrs P's Fancy Slowcookers

So, I enjoyed listening to this book a while back and the algorithm sent me the recommendation of Feeders by Matt Serafini to read after. It has a similar modern tech chaos vibe of this book, but heavier on the bloodshed and includes some spookies too. Definitely read the TWs and note that there's a dog fatality, but it's not an Old Yeller emotionally connected mc way (if that helps at all).

sloppybones

So fun to listen to! I just put the audiobook on hold on libby and I'm 80th in line. By the time I get to listen I will have forgotten most of the details, can't wait!

Nick Palmer

I have 13 chickens on 1 acre. I have no ticks and I spend less than $100 a month on food. Just get her the damn chickens Alex. Think of the quiche, won’t someone think about the quiche!

Chloe the Fae

Haven't even listened to the full episode yet but get her the damn chickens! I miss my chickens so much. They have such personality. Go with silkies and faverolles! The faverolles are super sweet and pretty and make lots of good size eggs and the silkies are just hilarious and make amazing mothers so you can hatch baby chicks and keep a perpetual flock. Think about it. Faverolles are the lap dog of the chicken world. Them and my little bantams were my absolute favorites.

President of the Fishbein Fan Club

My friend has 5 kids, and at least once a month I text her saying “I don’t understand how you have 5 children”

That_Wokelahoman_Teacher

I read both books that Mrs. P was thinking about for this month and think that Mr. P would not have appreciated the other book quite as much. I’m one of seven and grew up in a fringe evangelical (cult) church. Watching the shitty men get got healed something in me 🥹

Sara_the_Bookworm

I looked the author up on Goodreads and her little bio says she loved to Zoom into book clubs during the pandemic. And she does live in Philadelphia! Maybe a little Story Report interview would be cool.

Rockstache

Dungeon Crawler Carl has been recommended by one RL friend and now the universe about 50 times, so that's on my list after I finish the Murderbot series.

DamnYouVodka

Unpopular opinion, I didn't like it 😬

DamnYouVodka

For the French fry/onion ring debate: French fries are generally the healthier option if you’re choosing between the two; they tend to be lower in calories and fat per serving than onion rings. Potatoes also provide some potassium and vitamin C, while onions offer antioxidants 🫡

Nikki Ann

I listened to the audiobook of this and loved it. It was like I took you guys and smashed it together with my crime podcasts.

Lundyn Rains

I love that Alex is doing self preservation this entire episode

Nixie

This whole plot is amazing. I love when women 🥰🥰

jessimightpanic

Alex kept channeling Stefon during this episode. "Yesyesyesyesyes"

ScrambledPhoenixEggs

Alex: I thought it was *our* yard. Me: [deep belly laugh after a guffaw] Mers. P: No. No. No no no. No. Me: I know!

lesbos4mrs.p

Alex “i want him dead” Pearlman

Witch Of The Waste

This was SO good! Mrs. P, you always make me want to read every book but this one I really need to read immediately!

Stuck in Koala Kanyan

I started this 2 days ago and I'm finishing it today September 13th 2025, and I can no longer tell the difference between reality and fantasy 😅😭😅😅😅😭😅

Smiling, nodding, didn’t get the joke

I got chickens in the panorama and most bugs went waaaay down in my yard, never got a single tick on my dog. The eggs were amazing, and we easily used them to bribe the neighbors into loving the chickens too. And it helps with kids coordination as they try and catch the chickens. So you’re kinda harming your community by not getting chickens.

Kris_Jenner_Sent_Me

As a Becca, from Wyoming I loved this and definitely agree with the 12/10 rating!

Wiscoliz

I read this book and could not wait to hear Mr P’s reactions—did not disappoint! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Rockstache

I showed my kid photos of me in college with hair last my shoulders and she said, "I'm glad your hair is on your face instead of that way."

S.K.

Considering there’s a real product called MUDWTR as a coffee replacement, this did not shock me at all. lol.

Elizabeth Staples

Mrs P don’t be fooled by the influencers chickens and gardens have to be kept separate or they peck and dig everything (I say looking at my own 4 hens in the backyard) you can do this with chicken tractor or coop with a run but the influencers will tell you the chickens won’t dig up your garden and ignore all the poop.

DamnYouVodka

I agree, I think Alex would like it, it's not a -bad- book per se -- it just feels very 'boy' humor coded

angry canadian ginger

The influencer who throws her phone on the mirrors and dances at the mall is so insufferable and the worst part is that she's recording with meta glasses and the phone is just there for no reason

Anne N

As a chicken owner, get them! But don’t get a rooster, only pullets, and don’t run a heater out there it’s a fire hazard. 🥳

Lori Luedke(Lead-key)

I love you Mr. Pearlman but just so you know I LOVE MRS. PEARLMAN WAYYYYY more I look so forward to the story reports so much I’m glad I found you so I could find her

Pariah Carey

The libby skip the line came through! I was 180th in line but I got the book early, finished it and I'm ready for the report!!

Desantis’s.Sleep.Paralysis.Demon.

Mrs. P chickens are fun and awesome and I’ve made my husband with limited carpentry skills build a PALACE. I highly encourage this especially getting them as babies but they will eat your garden up. Mine aren’t ready for the coop yet but they love the garden veggies and if coddling my chickens the most crunchy thing ever that I do so be it.

Potatoes_in_Idaho_aren’t_special

This book was great! If you liked this, i recommend “Look Closer” by David Ellis. There was shifting narrators & so many twists & turns. Listened to whole audiobook in 2 days

Erin

I’m SO happy I saved this for a long drive with my partner. We were gasping aloud, predicting twists, and clapped when baked goods were thrown. INCREDIBLE.

ScrambledPhoenixEggs

Wishing you so much success! Donor x6 'cuz it's not my jam, but wanted to help out folks whose jam it *was*.

ScrambledPhoenixEggs

I adore Mrs. P, and their dynamic together is just so delightful! They are just the right shape of goofy for each other and it makes my day a bit brighter every episode.

annoyedinthevoid

This book was SO GOOD and I agree that it should be an HBO miniseries or movie

JillieBeans

We should get a no epstein guarantee button.

MrsCarterOfMars

Apparently (according to my farmer partner) quail are smaller, quieter, and give the vibes of chicken while taking up less space.

Pirin Tablets

For the people that love perspective change books, one of my favourite series is An Ember in the Ashes by Saaba Tahir.

Zelda Presents

OMG QUAIL ARE SO CUTE I FOLLOW SOMEONE WHO RAISES BUTTON QUAIL AND THEY ARE SO TINY 😭😭😭

Zelda Presents

i'm a little salty (lol salt) that there was no indicator that this episode must be listened to while eating onion rings. oh darn gotta listen a 15th time (i couldn't keep track of th characters + story line and also have raging adhd) but also i listen to the entire podcast on loop 😆

Zelda Presents

OMG!!! EVERYONE VOTE THIS UP ☝️☝️☝️

Michelpy

Finally just finished my copy from Libby! So excited to listen!

mat

an actual jaw dropping story. also mr P's reactions are the best

Jessipoot

I read this book, and it was so good. I got it done in 2 days

Brittany

Single Dad Dan sounds like a combo of Penn Badgley's two most famous characters in one: Dan Humphrey and Joe Goldberg.

Deafleader

Gone girl is VERY triggering for folks that have been blackmailed in that way, i had to leave early