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Writing in bed is pretty great. (Patreon)

Published:
2024-09-20 05:45:35
Imported:
2026-06

Content

I'm just relaxing in bed doing some writing on the Xander script, and honestly, it's so chill. I have a nice drink, cozy blankets, some good music, and the window open. I should do this more often.

I'm often more creative at night, but between the work day and staying on top life and friends and stuff, I often get into what I call "revenge procrastination" mode. You ever get that feeling where you finally have like an hour to yourself, and you're like, "Hell yeah, I can finally play a game or read" or whatever, and then all of a sudden, your entire body just goes NO. ONLY PHONE ROT. And then you waste 3 hours of time you could be doing something you love or that brings you joy staring at stupid things on your phone?

Sometimes I wonder if it's just the ADHD, at the end of the day, with a complete lack of executive function or if it's something else.

Anyone else also experience that?

Anyway, the script is coming along well, and I will definitely not be repeating last month's shenanigans! Haha. It's somethings hard to find the motivation or the creative spirit, but when it comes, boy howdy is it ever great.

Yes, I am currently procrastinating finishing the script by writing here. I just realized I hadn't really been posting here (or anywhere really) much lately, and I wanted to change that!

Thanks for indulging me my late night rambles. LOL!

Comments

RowdyBo

I also have ADHD. I wasn't diagnosed until my forties. It changed Everything. I always felt like there was "something." It was either fight or flight or lethargy. It was like pushing down walls to do what I wanted to do and achieve what I wanted to achieve. The most difficult was starting. I just could not think we're to start. Butt when I took action and started something, then fight or flight kicked in and the adrenaline cleared my head. Every week or two, the fear kicked in at what had built up, undone, and I could think. I went through accumulated "piles" of papers, that I had not known how to react to, or what to do with. I got work finished in hours that I had procrastinated doing for days or weeks. Not from being lazy or avoiding, but because I just couldnt put my thoughts together where to start or what to do next with things. It's like the poet Emily Dickinson said, I can't seem to put together the thoughts that came before with the thoughts that come after... My friends used to say "Oh, Yeah, that "something" is being gay. And I said "No, It's not that. I'm comfortable being gay." But I always felt like there was something going on. I read a book called "Driven to Distraction" and it changed my life. I saw myself in every page. I realized that the "something" that had plagued me all of my life, was real. And it had a name--ADHD. I literally sat on the couch and sobbed for several minutes-- the relief was so enormous. And importantly, there was treatment-medication, therapy, and learning new habits that made life easier, like I said you asleep making my bed every morning, and clearing my desk off at the end of the day, and never letting any more "piles" accumulate. For me medication was a life changer. It made thinking and decision making so much easier. I once told the God-given psychologist I had found, that I felt guilty every couple of weeks for giving in to being uttterly lethargic and lazy, and simply lying on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket, watching TV all day. And don't nobody bring me no bad news... Her response was, "Honey, it seems to me like you are just taking care of yourself." I will love and be grateful to that woman until the day I die.

RelaxwithMAB

Thanks so much for sharing that. I've had a very similar experience in my own journey with ADHD. I was only diagnosed relatively recently, only kind of accidentally after a series of other medical issues which lead to a paradoxical reaction to medication. Anyway, all that to say, I see a lot of myself in what you've said and had a similar experience with my psychologist who has been so wonderful in helping me integrate this new knowledge into my life. Thanks for sharing, I appreciate it!