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My Finished Short Film (Patreon)

Published:
2023-07-05 20:07:45
Imported:
2026-06
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Files

Previews only

The Void King

Comments

bapholomew

Fantastic. But you can’t be great at both writing AND directing, it makes the rest of us look bad. Can I bribe you not to be? Pretty please?

Nina Piroutz

the clean and precise vision and directing? the perfect pacing? the the lighthouse vibe? the westley aesthetic? the spoken battle intro with the music??? i'm- holy shit i'm in awe. the sound design is awesome and the king gave me straight up chills. the twitching? scary as hell. this is incredible.

Ben H

I don’t have a unique insightful thing to say… during the battle I was thinking (holy fuck this was a lot of work) the king was badass. I will be watching again later on my tv. It’s 6:45am and I haven’t even made coffee yet

Julian Jr Merrier

Sorry if my somewhat review of the film itself is from ignorance, lack of film literacy, or any literacy for that matter. But maybe a layman’s view of the whole thing which I hope brings something valuable for you. And sorry if I have a lot of questions since this film might be heavily into symbolism. Or maybe I’m reading too much into it. Anyway, first off, I enjoyed most of the short right up until the end. The conversation with the Void King seemed a bit weird to me. Somewhat cryptic which is what you might be aiming for. I knew when Elia left with both the head of the Void King and his brother’s body he might’ve turned into the King himself. To bring it back a bit, I didn’t really like Althar explaining to us what has happened so far. But I know it’s a choice you wanted to make. I’m more of a guy who loves to be immersed in a story and the world. Althar’s recap of past events and talking directly to the audience breaks it for me. Made me notice the imperfections in the fight and set design. Both of these are not awful since this obviously isn’t a big budget film. But the monologue made me open my eyes to it. I do love Althar talking about learning to “love the nightmare” as it reflects more on learning to love his brother Elia and why he didn’t leave. It can also hint at Elia eventually becoming the external nightmare they’re after. Now, the questions. Which maybe you’d love? And my attempt of interpreting things. First off, does the eye on the sword have any significance? I can’t think of anything and you bring attention to it. What is the point of the Tree Demons? Are they just set dressing? Why didn’t Creem attack Elia when he had his back turned and when Althar was injured? Did the Void King order that? Speaking of the Void King, why did he mimic Althar when he started to cough? And what did Althar mean when he asked “Why would you do that?” Was it Elia who stabbed him earlier and that is why Creem didn’t attack? Since Creem was giggling at Elia stabbing his “friend” and then he knew to bring him to the frail Void King for replacement. The Void King does look worse for wear, given his movements. That's all I had. I just wish the short film was a little more straightforward. And maybe needed to given its length. Then again, it might be what you're going for anyway. I feel like Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul perfected telling a straightforward narrative while having symbolism in that narrative, but it doesn't take the forefront or confuse audiences. It's there to enhance the story and characters rather than to take away from it. I digress. The short film is pretty damn good overall regardless.

Local187
>>113088041

Sorry for the late reply, I appreciate this. The eye sword exists primarily because I wanted to make an eye sword. But also it's kind of "when you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail" or something. Tree demons were definitely just there for set dressing.... uhhh....I think Greem is just a coward, he wouldn't have tried that. The other voidlings definitely picked on him his whole life. He was the subject of many running jokes on set. Overall TVK is purely poetic, I wasn't trying to ground it in any magic system or internal logic. The idea is that to take power, you basically have to lower yourself to the level of your enemy, thus continuing a cycle. I also just wanted to direct a thingy, so a lot of elements come from that. The entire sword fight is here simply because I wanted to do a sword fight. I think "why would you do that" is basically him blaming Elia for the endless crusade. The implication of this is that the other 101 crusaders basically died the same way, buying into Elia's fanaticism. But I agree a lot of that doesn't really come out through the dialogue. Hope that answers your questions!

Brendan Russell

Well done, It was reminiscent of The Seventh Seal, The Green Knight, of course Lord of The Rings, and staged/narrated like a Shakespearean play. An effective way to tell the story with short time and budget. It had all the makings of a story, Thesis, Antithesis, and Synthesis, with a quite literal interpretation of the latter. Five acts, with seemingly one scene for each, very efficient. Most importantly, the effective yet extremely brief delivery of the final act, moved me emotionally and sent me into contemplation. When the bass dropped in that fight scene, it was quite gratifying, I only wish it dropped a few seconds sooner. ;) Artistically, I enjoyed the combination of styles you presented, the juxtaposition of a modern style soundtrack into a Bergman visual style surprised and delighted me. Once again, well done!

Straps-of-skin

I liked everything except for the monologue the white cloaked brother gave. It felt strange, like he was looking right into the camera like a character from the office. I feel like backstory is better ignored if it cant be weaved into the story but it is a short which I have no experience with making so maybe that was simply a necessity. The overall aesthetic and the conflict between the brothers was very interesting and now that I think about it, that backstory did give context that made their conflict more “meaty”. Maybe that is a bad word to describe what I’m trying to say.