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0058 — A Fuck You Friday at Scobler's (Patreon)

Published:
2024-03-29 17:00:09
Edited:
2025-05-25 05:17:49
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

I think I had five versions of every panel of this one. Watch the In-Universe tier for those "director's cut / bloopers & outtakes" panels later today!

If you have deep knowledge of Roast Beef and Molly, let's guess together, below, what dishes they had ordered at Scobler's Family Dining that day. I will chime in and say what I think the best guess is, but if the guesses are not going well, I will eventually tell the truth about their dishes that they ordered.

Files

Comments

Alex McCown

Beef ordered a plain egg white omelette, hold the flavor

Josh Egbert

You've still got it, Onstad.

boothnavy

Avacado toast on dry whole grain.

Distant Egg Song

Beef: Egg whites. Pepper, no salt. Rye toast. They give him two slices, but he only eats half a slice. Sometimes he adds hot sauce, but it's from a bottle that he himself has brought from home, and he has to be sneaky about it because it gives him an upset stomach and he's cranky all day. He hates it when Molly reminds him of that fact, and, in turn, of his own crumbling body, the ever-ongoing march he makes towards the grave, and how if he's lucky his death will be via a sniper bullet to the brain that will steal the kill from the Big A. As such, he tries to sneak the sauce (artisanal, more vinegar than pepper-forward, not a good addition to a proper meal but fine for what Beef decides to feed himself) onto the eggs. Molly can see it happening and generally decides to say nothing. Beef knows that Molly knows, and each time knows that this may be the day that he gets called out for his tragic attempts at subterfuge, and that the ensuing argument would be the thing that leads to a week of sleeping alone that turns into a month and a lawyer and a one-man dinner date of sleeping pills in the nearest creek bed. I feel as though Molly orders corned beef, because she thinks it tastes good.

Alex Russell

Beef and Molly’s turn is one of the Actual Saddest Things in a litany of other ones.

Alex Kay

go suck off a lemon dick is gonna live in my brain for a little while

Oppido

Starting to think Teodor the right-thing-to-say-knower might really have been the better choice for Molly, here.

Oppido

It's a Heavily Encoded "I Love You" Friday

Erik Dunham

Calamity Junkie enamel pin, please.

GruntyGinMan

I think we saw with T what happens when Ray helps someone "get psychiatry"

EndgamerAzari

Those three beautiful magic words: bottomless cobbler sundae.

Cf Duddy

Molly w/ the slam dunk on this FYF

Ste & Danni JM

Beef: Some kind of grilled chicken breast with mashed potatoes. In the end, he left a halo of uneaten meat and potatoes where the side salad touched it, because he knows Scobler's relies on pre-washed lettuce, but all sorts of contaminants can re-enter the salad between the factory rinse and his plate. Molly: Liver and onions, being the closest thing to the hearty offal fare she grew up with. Beef needles her that no-one ever orders the liver, so it's probably been sitting in the fridge for a whole week.

A. Hamster

I feel that Scobler’s would be a place of calorie dishes, crafted from wet and dry applications of bleached flour. Molly has divorced herself from her religious upbringing, yet still finds comfort in some of the traditions. It is a Friday during Lent, so she orders the fried cod with buttermilk biscuits and French fries as her two Country Sides. Beef orders plain white toast and a Diet Coke.

Oppido

Maybe he's not quite at "thanked mushrooms in water" but he's on that trajectory.

Sedric and Charlie

I used to know a guy who insisted that to test out the quality of any restaurant you should order a dish of scrambled eggs, unseasoned, because there's "nothing to hide behind"

A. Hamster

I feel like this hot sauce was researched on the internet as a low-sodium alternative to Tapatio. Beef does not like it, but is committed to finishing it.

Zen Window

molly dropping a hard truth

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

Fuck diabetes on a Friday and every other day. Diabetes is not invited to my bottomless cobbler sundae party.

kdusjjdhxksj

I don't know what beef ordered, but do know that he was not in a good enough mood to do the hamburger with no fries thing from his childhood books. Does he feel shame that he ever did it at all? Perhaps.

Oppido

Ray WOULD be into TikTok. TikTok is like if Ray Smuckles were a platform.

professor husband

Beef ordered a “third cheapest item on the menu”. Everyone knows that the second cheapest is a trap for dudes who don’t want to look cheap by ordering the actual cheapest thing on the menu, and his General Ways make ordering the actual cheapest thing a shameful decision as well. Molly had the pot roast sandwich.

RBM

Damn, this has Implications for my own life

Nathaniel Keen

I think Roast Beef's tummy would be too upset to eat. He might order something just to choke it down in front of Molly. My guess? They split a cobb salad, then got a sugar cookie* on the way out to the parking lot. *It has a smiley face on it

blair

I just watched what I thought was a pretty modest lunch jack my Continuous Glucose Monitor just south of 200, so I ain't handicapping anyone's order. I passed up the Cacio e Pepe Roast Potatoes and everything.

Funkulus

Beef: A single slice of toast, a smiley face drawn on it in the wrong kind of ketchup. Next to it, two lemon slices and a single poached egg, no pepper. The cook spilled a drop of molten butter on one corner of the toast which has caused the smile to run and it now has the appearance of Dracula's O-face. Molly had the blue plate special, hold the corn.

Stephen Heintz

My hunch is that Molly had something like trout with a baked potato and unsweetened iced tea.

NotAnon

Molly wanted something nice for going out for lunch so she got a soup and salad, Caesar and vegetable, and spoiled herself by also getting a half honey ham and swiss. Roast beef , not trusting a sit down restaurant with a mascot ordered a plain water grilled cheese that came with a small pre-packaged bag of chips. Each item simple enough to inspect for any foul play.

Amy Lewis

Roast Beef would order today's special of goulash but would end up eating the saltines that came with Molly's soup instead.

Stephen Heintz

Roast Beef ordered a lean pork dish that the kitchen got wrong, so he agonized over whether to eat it or send it back. In the end he just picked at his side of asparagus, asked for a to go box, and threw his entree away in the bathroom trash.

C C

I just love the fact that Ray took the time to garnish his bottomless cobbler sundae, will he save the flag and re-use on his next bowl??

Jeff

Beef got a burger with absolutely nothing on it. Just meat and bun. Molly got Southwestern Chicken Strip Salad, dressing on the side.

Aaron Kimball

Between his depression and stomach issues and general cheapness, I think Beef probably got some plain pasta noodles with some olive oil (not butter) on top. This is on the kids menu but not the main menu, but Molly sweet-talked the waitress into letting him have a "full size" portion. In practice he'd have been ok with the kid-size portion anyway.

Don Rowe

"click-pimp" is going in my glove compartment

Clench and Cheese

This reminds me of when Roseanne came back on TV and the old cast members were mean to each other with fresh jokes that made me sad for the time when I enjoyed watching it because nothing else was on TV.

trashd

Outstanding Onstad <3

lake

Third panel Ray is so happy I love it

Jacquelyn R Walters

MOLLY. Delivering the punchline that is both funny and fucking depressing. Oh Molly, I'm so sorry this is where you wound up.

Jacquelyn R Walters

Molly is trying to eat "clean" these days, so she ordered the poke bowl that uses watermelon in place of tuna. Roast Beef had the smash burger and fries with the bottomless cobbler sundae for dessert because he is a hypocrite.

Lionstooth

Jesus Christ each panel goes harder than the previous

cody

Didn’t see that last panel comin at all, and it was perfect.

Luke Harper

Yay the banter is fully back!

Datura

Chris, I was reading through one of the books and I saw that you described the "we buried french fry today" strip as "so far from 'canon' that it should have gone in an appendix" and that these strips were like banging together cutouts of the characters in your backyard. Just wanted to say that I have always though this strip is a wonderful wrap-up to the overarching Ketel One joke with Ray and I truly love it. If I was going to get one of those framed strips (do you still do those?), it would be this one, though since it is dependent on many previous strips for context, I wouldn't display it, but keep it in a box of curiosities, to witness privately, and chuckle inwardly. In any case I was reading that commentary and saying to myself "No, Onstad! This strip is great!" so I hope your opinion has changed on these earlier strips. They live in a beautiful space between the extreme obtuseness of very early "Philippe is standing on it" strips (the main obstacle to introducing anyone to Achewood tbh) and the more coherent story-driven later strips. Regarding that, do you have a suggestion on the best strip to have someone start reading Achewood? Some suggest the party. This book I have starts at the dirtiest dudes strip that introduces the cats, which I think is a good option as well. Just curious about the answer to this from the comic horse's mouth (did we never get a horse character?!) Thanks always for bringing joy to me and many others. The french fry strip is high art. (Or at the very least, the highest of low art. Maybe we can split the difference and call it medium art. Though I think if you were to apply the high classification that would be perfectly acceptable.) xo and thanks again Soda Man

2scrogz

"Click-pimp who majored in front-facing camera at the university of western confirmation bias" is the most eloquent but succinct way I've seen anyone sum up the current sorry state of social media. Thank you for that.

Daniel Stewart

I got an actual out-loud chuckle from that line too, and then breathe-recited it a couple of times to feel it out

Achewood

Thank you for the kind words! First strip to read? I suggest the North Korea Magical realism arc, but that's just today. The most downloaded of all time is Ray Gets Sort of Stoned.