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Holy smokes is there a lot of stuff in this week's B-roll strip, which posts in tiers 2 & 3 two hours after this goes live!

Did you see the movie Bottle Rocket? It's from when Owen Wilson was just ninety pounds of forehead. I thought it was hilarious back when I saw it in the 90s, with its deeply pleasing scenes of farcical panic. It's a bit of what I was trying to channel with these two knuckleheads here.

Tune in next week, when the boys and I resolve all the loose ends and unanswered questions, plus a large surprise which doesn't involve a visual depiction of a dead car salesman getting his ass eaten out by a coyote! (If your work computer blocked that last sentence, it was graphic and rude.)

Files

Comments

Jordan D Cowman

Leo deserved better. Do you have any idea how much volume he did?

Omnithea

Hell of a way to earn your wings.

Josh Egbert

Nothing brings old knuckleheads from small times together like ancient cat death rituals & deceased salad tossing by forest wildlife

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

A reminder that these are cats. Superstition suggests multiple deaths are not only possible but likely.

Oppido

Possible formatting error in panel 3? Beef's dialogue typeface is the same size as Ray's? But other than that, this feels blissfully like Classic Beef is back. Pre-pecker Beef. How to Beef the Beefy-Beef Way.

Adrian Ingham

Corpse arranging is all very stressful, but also the #1 most effective dude re-bonding activity

emitydna

Ray's fear in panel 3 suggests there is a market for a more elite, discreet food delivery service

Daniel M Ford

Nothing brings feuding old pals back together like the need to hide a body. Also I love the way the strip plays against the expectation I had based on the title, which was for a different kind of hijinks. Masterful.

Oppido

It feels like a tough choice is barreling down on Ray here: Won't it look suspicious if Leo's body is found in the woods just as Ray's musical about Leo is debuting in theaters? But can Ray set aside his ego and keep his magnum opus in a drawer?

Condorito

May we all find a similar resting place under similar circumstances.

mutecypher

Leo was/is one petty dude, lacking in perspective in the most fundamental ways

Zen Window

it is a sad commentary on the state of american media that getting ones ass eaten out is just fine to portray but getting one ass eaten out has to be censored censored censored one is far more wholesome than the other and it aint the one the censors let by

Ben Sunshine-Hill

Remember: “Outer corners slope down, Smokey’s in town. Outer corners flat, just a civilian cat.”

Bruce Wright

I haven't been moved like this since Stinky's death in Hate comics.

Asherdan

Gosh and dang, that tongue hanging out is the perfect little light touch. *chef's kiss*

emitydna

a person delivering food in airwolf cannot be bribed or bought. the reach has been grasped.

A. Hamster

I mean you can have a pile of organs on primetime TV as long as there isn’t a penis on top

Ryan Boyle

There's no arrangement here that would satisfy Leo. Best to leave him with his best feature on display.

Distant Egg Song

Roast Beef has been to Heaven multiple times and Hell once. He has standards. He knows that it would make no sense for a respectable afterlife to let Leo leave.

blair

"We took entirely different sets of information away from high school" is going to be another Achewood Phrase that escapes into the wild.

Shawn Ritchie

"Man we took entirely different sets of information away from high school Ray" is SUCH a great line, laughed out loud at that one.

b.zap

Wolves be all, Looks like Teador got here first

Omnithea

Ah Hell, Beef. Did Molly kick you out? Is that why you're sneaking around?

A. Hamster

You think you’re in Hell, it turns out just to be Tucson

Douglas Wykstra

Wondering whether the headlights behind you belong to police cars is a universal quandary. When do I get to stop acting like I care what the rules of the road are? Did I renew my registration?

Clench and Cheese

Man this would have been the perfect trip for the volvo of despair. Beef and Ray would have just fallen out the doors into the forest crying.

Achewood

Jesus CHRIST why do I not bring that car back Excellent call

Achewood

I don't know if I should say this out loud on the internet, but I have no fucking clue where my license and registration are, and my license expires tomorrow on my birthday.

Achewood

I hope to address this in the epilogue, as the absence of Molly in Beef's adventure so far has been a weak point. Perhaps she was visiting ancient Wales.

Achewood

the perfect post to make, ever

Achewood

The other thing Ray remembers is that he *almost* fingered somebody during Red Asphalt

Achewood

The main thing I remember from high school was that my history teacher had previously worked at McDonald's and gotten wasted a lot in the parking lot after work, and that is exactly reflected in some of Lyle's backstory.

Achewood

Now that you mention it, random people showing up at random times from the afterlife is actually quite sensical according to this "universe" I've laid out

Achewood

Yeah what was Ray supposed to do, immediately hire him a ton of prostitues and a Beach Boys cover band?

Achewood

I always meant to read Peter Bagge. Would I like it?

Achewood

Man how long did you spend on that I've spent upwards of ten minutes on such errands

Achewood

Who will carry the Larry Flint torch

Achewood

He's become quite intriguing to me. It might be time for an interview in MWYEGTDAT.

Achewood

I mean, at least they tried to do right by their species, giving him an old-school service.

Achewood

One problem with having a readership of high Reading Comprehension is that they keep suggesting fun story threads to follow when I'm actually just trying to wrap this one up

Achewood

You act like they're not going to take his corpse waterskiing next week

Achewood

Is there DoorDash Black, where they aren't like twelve hours late, such as Ray is experiencing?

b.zap

Happy Birthday at the DMV!

Achewood

You really learn who your Ride or Dies are

Achewood

crepes! (autocorrected from Cripes!) — need to fix this, thank you

Omnithea

Whales do live a long time.

Achewood

It's a pretty central conceit of this whole universe, indeed, and it seems to be a characteristic also on loan to the other boobs.

Achewood

This is the sweet spot for a strong friendship. Not even specially deployed army rangers could pull something like this off so cleanly.

Achewood

There are worse places in California than Oakland, but only when they're actively on fire.

Achewood

What if the wolves eat the wings first, will Leo just have like creepy bone-wings, like a Tim Burton X Achewood collab

Achewood

He seemed to sell Ray a new one at least every year, whenever the carpeting no longer held those nice even vacuum lines from the detailing.

Josh Egbert

Ray's Friday Night Party has the infrastructure for that I'm sure

Josh Egbert

Three days of her mother sliding birth charts under her pillow.

Achewood

I'm in heaven just thinking about Birthday Saturday at the DMV

Achewood

She could still have a good 11-13 children, even at her age.

mutecypher

Every dog deserves his say.

b.zap

SPLUT

Bruce Wright

He's done a lot of relatively trivial amusements relying on his frenetic postpunk style, but his magnum opus is unquestionably the multi-decade saga of Buddy Bradley, as portrayed in "The Bradleys" followed by "Hate," who goes from spotty 90s kid to curmudgeonly Seattle hipster to aging, married but still disaffected proprietor of a collectibles shop in Hoboken. He's a generation after mine, but the character types are timeless. I knew people like this and almost was one, sort of.

Oppido

Beef wielding a shoe (his own?) instead of getting his fingerprints all over the body. Thinking dude.

b.zap

Did that once. 4 hours next to a meth couple from a RV, then was told at the very end, You need to take the written test. Happy birthday to me!

b.zap

Wouldn't the elder cat wisdom be, Push the body off the mantle and onto the nice white carpet

b.zap

Or, mantel as the case may be

b.zap

Molly's Beef Adventure

Ben Sunshine-Hill

The Smokey thing came to me instantly, as though from an angelic visitation, and then I spent a good three minutes wondering what rhymes with “flat”

Oppido

May we all one day live in a world where crepes are regularly exclaimed over.

zaratustra

how come in years of bullshitting about subjects you two never brainstormed how to get rid of a body

b.zap

Or, Teodor. As the case may be.

The Good Poster

The boys doing the Professor X finger-temples things to help their brains remember cat ritual. This works, by the way. It makes you think better.

Song Club with John Krane

I just texted a friend "I don't think that I've been keeping you up with Achewood, but Ray and Beef got into a fight where they were writing well-regarded popular musicals about each other and it culminated in the ghost of Leo Fontanette coming back to yell at Ray and then dying a second time." They texted back "ok."

Alexander Rediger

"Do you think a wolf might eat him b-hole first?" This is why I read Achewood.