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Even if you can't place it by name, you've heard this tune your whole life: The Sailor's Hornpipe. No one knows what it's about, no one knows who wrote it, and if anyone ever asks you which song they played as they lowered Foghorn Leghorn's casket, now you have the answer. Did I have several alternate versions of Todd's curse? You bet I did, and they're included in the afternoon B-roll strip. Should I have used one of those instead? The answer's not so easy...but ask yourself, kid: is he willing to throw a gag away just because he fancies the mellifluous meter of an obscure nautical reference?

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Files

Comments

Anthony Thompson

“Tone,” Ray? You know, after a fashion, having morals is a “tone,” Ray.

Bob the Fish Productions

Do your balls hang low Can you swing them to and fro Can you tie them in a knot Can you tie them in a bow

Achewood

Did Ted Nugent release a new track?

Josh Egbert

Face down in elephant nut is how God wants His worst creations to die. This has been established.

Bungus Bronbo

It's close but I'm more comfortable with this Todd than long Todd.

Zen Window

Ray using literacy to save the day has to be the best example of the one-eyed man ruling in the land of the blind I've ever seen.

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

Nice hydrocele, Todd. I do not know what to think of Ray's thoughtful mischief. And shitcrack dreadlock is definitely entering my lexicon.

Rob Dalton

i shall name my next ukulele "elephant nut"

Distant Egg Song

Leave it to Ray to find a way to accidentally storm a castle and claim its ruler's riches in a single evening. Conan the Barbarian could never.

Josh Egbert

Taint-pelt will also get rotation

Achewood

King chochacho grins beneficently

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

That sounds like something you'd slowly and painfully peel off like a waxing strip or band aid.

Achewood

An appropriate name for the dreaded Uke

Achewood

It’s yet t be demonstrated he can decipher L3375P34K

Achewood

Yoked Todd…he may get stuck there for a few seasons

Achewood

They offered Morals at the JC, but it conflicted with golf class.

Daniel M Ford

Last panel of the second row almost made me choke on apple. Definitely loading that one into the always-cocked insult gun in my brain that is aimed only at my truest, closest friends. It's how men bond.

RBM

“Mozart-ass squirrel” is such a perfect way to describe Jorg-Dieter

Bruce Wright

Shit, now I have to change my password.

Achewood

A celebration of this decade’s most popular suffix

Achewood

In Ray’s defense, he hasn’t read Todd’s bumper in 25 years.

Achewood

The syn/ack of the MANTTP protocol

Kriegsaffe No. 9

Immortalizing his favorite Mortal Kombat character in password form, hashtag blessed

Oppido

Interesting character note that Ray doesn't capitalize the "G" in "God," even when presumably referring to a specific deity.

b.zap

Bonch

Derek Adams

This one trick lets Ray skip the pizza box trap

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

Fluid swelling of the scrotum, usually painless and benign. But sometimes it's not. A squirrel sized hydrocele is probably about the size of a human nipple.

Achewood

Was that a 1999 movie with Jean Claude van damme, or am I thinking of Oredstoe (typo for Predator)

Achewood

I debated this for a while. I didn’t want it to be seen as an author’s preference / religious insertion by capitalizing it. No right solution here

Achewood

I hate to tell you this, but that’s not what’s going on here

Achewood

Is this a meme I’m too old to get offered in the Reels

Derek Adams

Lyle's favored trick to get money Away From Todd is to sucker-hang with him and trap him in a pizza box, according to a flowchart from... uh... 18 years ago

Paul Kim

Hi Chris, this morning I saw a mildly disreputable looking man on the street who made me say, as soon as I saw him, "holy shit, it's Lyle in human form." Same facial hair and sulking, dyspeptic look.

rickward

Todd’s manly mane! 🩷💞💖

Ian Stewart

There were at least three solid belly-laughs in this strip, though I do have a tiny bit of anxiety that the idea of drowning someone in elephant semen might break containment and reach some unsavory personalities

Oppido

Oh yes, I didn't read it as any sort of authorial commentary one way or another. It's just fun to think about characters who can audibly pronounce their preferred orthographies. I know people in real life who you can definitely hear it if they're saying "Black people" with a capital or lowercase B.

Jay Y

The man has never been pwned because he doesn't know what that means.

zaratustra

"Beef, what does this computer code do?"

Andrew Gillies

If I remember Ray actually learned everything that there was to know about computers, but then forgot it all with the aid of a hypnotherapist because if any women heard him talking about that kind of stuff, their "tits would fall off and roll under the sofa".