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I was getting back on my feet in 2012 when SPIN contacted me for a commissioned strip, mistakenly believing they had their finger on something with hip, timely mass-appeal. What they actually had their finger on was a freshly-rehabbed, newly-divorced guy who counted change to buy dinner, and was about to land an $80/week job covering restaurants for a snarky alt weekly* in a bleak American backwater. Wiz Khalifa I was not.

I was also not about to turn down some cash and exposure, so I fired up the desktop tower that I had lugged (on the bus) to the apartment room I was subletting, recycled some art and ideas, and net-60 later I had a sweet little check.

See you next week, when I either fire up Téodor's Adventures at Microsoft, 1952, or resurrect another one of the character blogs! (Oh, and I'll see you twice Friday, and also tomorrow with another unearthed Tenmen track, if you're in the Author's Tier.)

*This link plops you into page 5 of the 24-page archive of my Portland Mercury restaurant critic pieces, because the first twenty all seem to be little blips about something called "Burger Week."

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Comments

Anthony Thompson

The bottom triptych-over-time (a) is actually good and (b) is so comfortingly similar to Chris Ware. Love it much!

Jenn

I lived those divorce days. They suck. Your details really pierced me here, but I know that wasn't the point of what you wrote. Glad you got through to this side.

Daniel Burt

You'll always be my Wiz Khalifa...

Tom P

Is... is Roast Beef looking at turds? Time turds?

Bruce Wright

By the way, that Spin panel of RB explaining how he dreams of giant apocalyptic machines would also make a great shirt. DO IT

Achewood

When I open the Print on Demand shop, you'll be able to make any shirt you want! Prob early 2027, which is coming way faster than anybody could have calculated.

Achewood

It was meant to look like stacks of poker chips / money (this was unsuccessful)

Achewood

I think we should all agree though that he is looking at Time Turds

Bruce Wright

I never dreamed of such technology

Achewood

[frantically looks up if Wiz Khalifa is good]

Achewood

Queueing Elton John's "I'm Still Standing" which is my theme song way too often

Achewood

Dude, this saying is off the chain!

Achewood

He's the one comics influence I will cop to. Thanks!

Tom P

money is basically time turds (you can have that one free, but if it makes you a lot of money, gimme a free shirt)

Tim Melody Pratt

I too am anything but bored with the potential of falafel

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

If you happen upon Mia Khalifa in that search, you have only yourself (and Daniel Burt, and maybe me) to blame.

Daniel Burt

I accidentally googled Burj Khalifa, all fairly benign images to be honest.

Achewood

Thank you for going deep 🫡

2scrogz

Paying businesses out on Net60: normal, industry-standard, expected. Paying people out on Net60: absolute bullshit that would never fly in the bi-weekly paycheck world, but regularly leaves independent contractors waiting on pins & needles for two months to see the fruits of their labor.

C C

I love the throwback to Ray hanging out at the currywurst stand. Pommes oder brot??!!

Zach M

in 2012 i was graduating from a technical college with my sights set on a future in the exciting world of computer networking. i could subnet the hell out of an ip address range but would never in a million years have known how to turn a relatively beloved cast of offbeat cartoon cats and stuffies into an $80 paycheck from SPIN Magazine. i have no idea what the point of this comment is.

Nicholas Williams

Remember 2012 when every restaurant on earth was like "holy shit let's do fuckin' rad-ass burgers" and also remember how that has somehow never ended?

2scrogz

Finally one can figuratively "live-blog onto Hanes" the exact panel of Ray musing about live-blogging his thoughts on George Clooney learning Coptic onto a t-shirt. Meta!

2scrogz

Okay but a "THIS AIN'T NO GOOD" t-shirt is more and more a sane person's conception of everyday-wear given the general state of things in [Current Year]. Could be time to make the comic a reality.