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In part one of a multi-strip arc which narrowly escaped the title Return to Fogleg-Codhorn, we see Ray Smuckles arise from the Pharaoh's pit only to be greeted by Roast Beef, his friend of many years. A surprise guest appears: who can it be? Is it Noel Gallagher, from Oasis? Is it a floating hallucination test that sees if you can tell the difference between Travis Tritt and Billy Ray Cyrus? Or, in a considerable bucking of tradition, is it someone with contemporary relevance? Tune in next week for the thrilling reveal!  

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Comments

JB Robinson

a perfect return. I'm so glad we get to see these guys again. thank you, Chris.

Achewood

Huzzah! You're quite welcome; thank you for your kind words.

Salad Larry

I’m so pumped I could play a trumpet with my cock

Achewood

The perfect thing to say, ever

Alex Ruppel

So happy to be here reading it. Off to a classy start.

Cosmo Bear

Achewood: you saved me from myself.

caylen

Man Glad You Went And Did A Thing. good shit dude

Dusty Wilson

Throwing elbows at the Dollar Tree for those plates

Jordan Peretti

People what got $5 can pretend like it's Assetbar days down here and enjoy internet creative anachronism, what a treat

Dieting Hippo

Super glad to see 'em out and about again.

Jason Love

Trying to reconcile the facts that "Achewood is back" and "it has comments now" is one hell of a way to spend the evening.

Cayce

It is happening again

Within Wheels

REJOICE! THE PROPHECY IS FULFILLED!

Adam Beal

In my opinion this is good, all of it in general.

Mrbimbin

He'll yeah we are back!

Jon

Phillipe is going to be six, now. I can't handle this.

Jonathon Valenzuela

Gonna walk around yelling ‘Player, r u six?!’ at people

Jon S.

what a good day today is

Jonathan

Mashed “sign up” extremely hard on this one

MAGS

we're so back

Anu Kirk

WELCOME BACK!

Sebastian

oh boy it's today!

Arrison Warner

It was this or my monthly coffee, and I decided I don't need that anymore.

Kenny

I’m new-ish to achewood (some people i like on twitter have shared panels before), what’s the best way to get caught up on the lore

A. C.

Well worth it

Christopher Malone

A reason for joining Patreon. Looking forward to the new stuff!

Bexx

I’m in tears. TEARS! I’ve waited for so long! I’m here for it!

Yes Pressure

our every move is the new tradition

Andrew Gillies

Just go to Achewood.com and get stuck in

David Garrett

Dang it I just got laid off and you hit me with an offer I can’t refuse.

Ethan Lavery

Woke up with ass in my pants and wasn't sure why. Found the Patreon and it all makes sense now.

Andy Jennings

You did this. You made it happen.

Ray

Fuck us up, Onstad

Moira's Machine

This tops the day I met the guy who invented salami.

Teri Aitch

I can! I CAN tell the difference between Travis Tritt and Billy Ray Cyrus and IDNATYOAO

Clench and Cheese

Really glad you're doing this Chris. I think by making it so that you're getting paid you'll drive yourself to keep at it even when it's hard, which is the hardest thing for a successful cartoonist to do. Look at Gary Larson or Bill Watterson who had to crank out material every single day forever. It meant the world so many people but that didn't stop them from quitting. I'm glad that you're back with this and the zines. It was a big part of my life 20 years ago so I'm happy to see it again.

Rich Pigott

Ray is looking trim as all get out. How does he do it?

KP

YESSS

Ian Volner

DELIGHTED EXPRESSION SEEMS FAIRLY FIXED

Matt Thurston

By only appearing from the waist up.

Elyse Renée

we’re so back comment section

Datura

I have been checking the Achewood homepage almost every day for over 6 years now, thanks for coming back Chris. It is the greatest comic ever conceived

Ben Wissett

The higher res art looks hell of crisp chris

Kayla Unknown

there are no words for how fast i pledged $14 when i heard today that this was a thing

GruntyGinMan

$14?? That's what I spend on those organic beans from Oklahoma!

Bexx

My Husband is currently driving all over town to Dollar Tree’s looking for these plates!

Ratticon

Gonna take a lot to keep me away from you

Nicholas Williams

Oh my god. To get that sass back. [gazes wistfully at the horizon]

J

Welcome back!

Shannon

Holy shit

Rob Dalton

Here comes a special boy! [Oh damn Colter McCorkindale done already said that; low-hanging fruit, I s'pose.]

Nurndelwyn the Profuse

holy shit all of my qualia were just majorly upgraded. Ray roaring throws off powerful MGM lion vibes. I can now resume living my best life

Spooky Silver Eyeball

Is there a way for the resolution to not require me to get my reading glasses?

Zachary

who I gotta blow to get some fuckin' alt text?

Matt Mitchell

I was wistfully reading Ray’s advice column this week, and now this. The fastest I’ve signed up for anything. Rad chilies.

Matthew Hutton

I have checked the site every Sunday for the last 6 years and change... Glad I never gave up.

Achewood

You should be able to tap and zoom; the uploaded strips are like twice as big as the ones on Achewood; let us know, and thanks for subscribing!

homunculus

Looking forward to the paper plates in the shop. I'll treat them like fine china.

homunculus

one of the true wonders of Achewood coming back is finding a dude who has my first name as a last name and my middle name as a first name. you got some good names, chochacho.

professor husband

I’m imagining a trap remix of “Also sprach Zarathustra” as Ray scrambled onto the scene.

Rob Dalton

As a man once said the universe it doth abide, Fellow Dalton® — and no mistake. Bevan is my middle name, just to throw more vittles on the communal griddle…

Mars

I’m your passenger (deftones)

Stavro

hell of such as meow

non (tyler)

Extremely happy to see and catch up with these knuckleheads again.

Jared Rutledge

I have successfully avoided Patreon until now, but I am not averse to the $9 monthly fee for fresh Ray & Beef. My son is coming in July and there is already an Achewood print in his nursery. Our every move is the new tradition.

Oppido

He'd probably just talk the whole time to keep it from getting awkward

Oppido

Player, R U Getting Your Bone On Six Times?!

Jay Y

Grrr! Roas' Beef! mmmmm

Nick Cummings

I haven’t laughed this hard at a sleeve of paper plates in my entire life. Thank you for this experience 🙏🏻

TJ

HELL YES

lake

Brain tape since young days dawg…

Lauren Johnson

The Assetbar comment section returns :')

Jed

Daaang, it's good to feel a thing once more!

Freddie Wong

Player, R U Six?! is straight up the funniest panel in the entire last decade of comics, online and off.

Don Campbell

Deancain30…..yes. Yes to this. Xx

jason

Here comes a special Joy. Thank you Chris. Hugs, player.

Simon Helyar

wow - Achewood is so much easier to read now with the advent of retina screens!

Calliope the Coyote

"proclaim with me on my ravages" has entered my lexicon with unprecedented speed

Yelahneb Unicornucopiax

Also thank FUCK you're back on the horse. You survived the aforementioned ravages, as well as those outrageous slings and arrows of fanboys tryin' to get a piece of the action

denv_eric

The font on the birthday plate is the same one Teodor uses for Ray's logo back when they start an advertising agency together. This implies Teodor is selling public-domained Ray merch on the down-low.

Achewood

I’ll see if I can add any; I was all preoccupied and forgot to satisfy this parameter

Achewood

Congratulations! Which print? (Congratulations also on the child)

Achewood

Top-tier fontspotting, my good fellow

Jared Rutledge

Thank you sir! The Great Outdoor Fight sidecar one with "our every move is the new tradition." Bought it before I found out I was going to be a dad, but it applies nicely!

Irving Washington

I miss the Assetbar anarchy, I learned so much. "One day you shall cease to be a fumbling boy, and become a learned man."

Patrick Harris

holy shit you're back this is the greatest day ever ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Neal Gray

So glad this is back. Dem plates hade howling. Missed this ish, for reals.

Berthold

This is like meeting up with an old friend you haven't seen in years, and it's so good that you are just baffled as to how you could have allowed yourself to fall out of touch in the first place.

Michael Robrahn

Thank you for coming back. This is appreciated.

Joe and Matt

This is like a warm hug. Welcome back, Sir.

Aaron Bibb

Now I have a serious need for some dank party plates for a special kid in my life.

Michael Akey

Please put out a line of paper plates for children's parties. Please. I beg you.

dmf 23

Tho I have thought about it many times with many creators, the return of Achewood is what has finally compelled me to join Patreon and start putting my money where my laugh bone lies. But I hope you will be gratified that now that I've gone and jined up, it won't be my last. Several other webcomics are next on my list: Kill Six Billion Demons, The Abominable Charles Christopher, drive, 3rd Voice. I bet I'm not the only person who your resurrection will affect in this way. A rising tide lifts all floaties! Also I must say that I have played around with the LLMs and read about them a good bit myself, and while I'm amazed at so much they can do, making me laugh has not been their forte -- which is why I've been *astounded* how funny some of Raybot's advice has been. Sometimes it hits closer or further to Ray's voice, and it's not at the humor level of what you write, but it's hell of funnier than most newspaper strips (or all, now) have ever been! This is a major AI evolutionary step forward to AGI. There's no personhood without a sense of humor. (Many walking hairless apes do not qualify either.)

Achewood

Thank you! I agree, RayBot is a noteworthy step in the progression of this tech. I want to call it “The Deep Blue of Comedy” but I’m not quite there yet. We can always make it better.

Bill Cameron

Okay, so...just so I 100% make sure I'm not missing anything...here's no alt text, right? The description attached to the strip kind of takes on that role?

Achewood

Not yet. I’m looking into this much-requested feature — thanks!

Hannah Flynn

The return of achewood is something I didn't expect but it has immediately added maybe two years to my life. Only downside is narrowly missing my kid's sixth birthday, for which I absolutely would have replicated those plates. Welcome back, everyone!

Steve Bauer

Thanks for resurrecting Achewood, Chris! Been down since fall of 2002, so excited to see what the boys have been up to!!

Ollin Williams

My life hasn't been the same since you left me. I got divorced. My oldest child is estranged from me. I have found love again in the least likely of places. I needed you, I think, the most to really help me feel like I can squeeze some joy out of the old Gyp. Thank you so much for coming back, Chris. Let me know what I can do to make you stay.

Nik

this rules

Greg Earnest

This makes me so happy. Welcome back.

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

I scream laughed at Ray's birthday plate. Thank you so much.

Rabbit Ambulance

I cannot believe I am two months late to this party! Also, Onstad, you bastard! Why did you ever leave us?! (Just kidding. It's good to have you back, buddy)

W. C.

I want Ray's birthday plate on a shirt. Normally I'm like 'Man, why you even got to do a thing?' but you got to do that thing.

Andrew K

I remember the day the last strip was posted on the main site, back in 2016. I kept loyally coming back to the page, like I did every day for years, waiting for a new strip, but it never came. I kept that up for a while, out of nostalgia and hope, but eventually I just stopped. I don't know what possessed me to go on the subreddit tonight and read the Top posts for the year, but holy shit my surprise when the top post, from NINE MONTHS AGO, was that Achewood was back, on Patreon. I was just a kid when I started reading the strip, I never had money to support via merch or anything else. But now, more than 7 years after the last public post, I'm more than happy to subscribe if it means I finally get more Achewood again. I missed you, Onstad... Your every move is the new tradition!

Achewood

The faith of loyal Argos, rewarded! Welcome back, chochacho.

Henri

I've said it a few times over the years, but no one ever paid me any attention at all: Achewood as a whole is the most important instance of art I've ever come across. And it was today I realized it has been back for a while. Part of the charm. Welcome back!

Miles Liebtag

achewood was an absolutely integral part of my terrible protracted lurch into adulthood. i was also extremely pleased today to discover its renewal and this patreon <3