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0026 - Ray and Pat in, "Road Trip," Pt. 10 (Patreon)

Published:
2023-10-27 17:00:08
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

It would be difficult to accept how much unsuccessful slang I generated in order to create an original phrase that means "barebacking." (The line, "Answer him, you Barebackin’ Beagle! You Nut-Smugglin’ Snoopy! You Lie-Pipin’ Snoopy!" sits to the side of the artwork you see here.) "Skinnydippin' the salami" was as good as I could do, and now here it rests, along with Ramathustra Ron's special mushroom chair.*

Which mushroom-fueled sequence tends to come to mind first, when you recall your trippin' days? Type it up for us in the comments. Don't type about the time you walked past a big rock at the beach at night and could tell that it was 1932, because that one's all mine.  

*Several virtually un-sittable renditions of this chair also rest to the side of the artwork you see here. One of them actually has those two back slats connect on the front of the back rest. It was like if AI had to draw a chair. Hey, remember that stuff? 

**I also toyed with the idea of making the black Zenni/buttons blob you see coming together in the bottom row turn into Todd, but that's because I am high as hell.

Files

Comments

Jay Y

Every time I look at Pat's hair, I feel like I'm taking a Rorschach test

Jordan D Cowman

We always knew that the mushrooms were hitting when the one tree started to look like bike chains.

EndgamerAzari

When your boy's your boy, he's your *boy*.

Ben Sunshine-Hill

D’awwww. Yet we must not lose sight of the fact that Pat is the worst.

Zen Window

im pretty square when it comes to tripping the trip fantastic but i do remember once being surprised by a giant grilled portabella "patty" on what i thought was going to be a mushroom burger that opened my eyes to how hard veggie options can slap

Don Rowe

SINCE. SMALL. TIMES.

John Robinson

Indeed he is, but reëstablished here is that Ray, for all his own various faults and failings, is the best, even when dealing with the worst.

Spyguitar

Wandering around our mostly-deserted college campus with our heads unscrewed, the week between graduation and reunion. It was late at night, there were big arc lamps illuminating the quad and the soon-to-be drunk-alumni-filled event tents. Moths and other assorted flying insects divebombing the arc lamps looked like the flames of heaven, to our wide-opened third eyes

Tim Melody Pratt

one time I was tripping and there was some old jazz playing and I was transported through time and space in astral form to the venue where the band was playing and then I transmuted into pure music and realized it was my own soul that had been recorded that was on acid, though, on shrooms I mostly just think about ants

EndgamerAzari

But, as Ray pointed out, he's *their* worst!

Elyse Renée

That’s right Ron, Pat is *our* asshole

Nicholas

1. The second panel made me laugh the hardest I’ve laughed in months. Thank you. 2. To your question: my friend putting on a Captain Beefheart record and me saying the music was “squishy”. (I don’t think I was wrong). 3. We absolutely love to see two dudes fighting but then immediately becoming buds again so they can fight with a third dude

Yelahneb Unicornucopiax

In 2005 I was on my honeymoon in the UK when I tripped on shrooms for the first time, staying at my sister's flat in London. For a brief window of time, psychedelic mushrooms were legal, but only because the British government fucked up the wording in such a way that you could only get busted if they were dried out - fresh ones were as legal as seasalt and we bought them at an open air market in Camden. We tripped that night and went out to get Thai food. Once at our table, I realized that I suddenly had no idea how to look at a menu and order food, so my wife took that on while I searched for a bathroom below stairs. Having found a suitable urinal, I took my time, reveling in the singular joy that is indoor plumbing. It was then that I looked to my left, and spotted a small blue wooden door. It was about 3 feet in height, and matched nothing. I spent either minutes or years staring at it, contemplating its significance, its purpose, and most importantly, trying to decide whether or not to open it. I landed upon two potential options: 1. Wash my hands and go back to being married and eventually old 2. Open the door and pass into a realm from which I would never return Eighteen years later, I have two kids, a mortgage, and I make art out of floppy disks. Did I make the right call? Impossible to say. Later on during the honeymoon we dosed in St. Ives and watched the tide roll out for many hours. We went to Stonehenge as well but were out of shrooms by that point.

Bungus Bronbo

Don't go outside and look up, because it might hit you how you're a speck of a speck of a speck of a speck of a speck of a speck. If you're lucky it'll also hit you how much of a miracle it is to exist before the drugs wear off, otherwise it'll ruin your trip.

J.

I stood on the sidewalk and observed cars passing. They became ancient as they passed to the east and brilliantly new as they passed to the west. Cigarettes unlit and relit themselves without intervention. I could easily juggle many irregular objects.

Bungus Bronbo

ALSO FUCK YEAH PAT SHOWING A LITTLE HUMANITY THAT'S A BIG DEAL

BenSlaveryisGood

I ate a quarter of mushrooms and went outside in the middle of a Massachusetts blizzard. I was diving into snowbanks and screaming, “MERRY CHRISTMAS” at the top of my lungs to every car that drove past. It was early February. Shimmering lights danced in the air & I momentarily possessed the mind of a Golden Retriever. Some of the most fun I’ve ever had.

J.

Shout-hissing the words "not... weed!" would be easier if Patreon enabled formatting in the comments.

Holler Wizard

The last time Pat smiled like that was when he became Nice.

David Kettler

I got high on shrooms at Coachella and saw the thriving mass of crowd demand that the performers channel their raw energy, refine it, and return it to them as glorious Art. Not as something to be appreciated on its own, but rather as masturbatory confirmation of the crowd's own preening coolness. Puppets controlled by the eye of the public. It was too much pressure to bear, watching them contort themselves to ride that lightning live in front of everyone, and I had to go lie down. While lying down, I also became convinced that the giant palm trees towering around the grounds were older and deeper and wiser than all of us small animals, and were the real ones running the show.

Ben R. Williams

I ate half of a mushroom cap and shortly after I had to project my consciousness into the astral plane to wrestle my soul back into my body through a little hole in the top of my head. To outside observers, this apparently looked like me very gradually falling out of a chair over the course of 30 minutes.

andrew

Ron's playing checkers. Ray's playing chess.

Ian Custer

I was in college when I took acid for the first time. I spent most of the trip at my friend's house playing vinyl records and smoking cigarettes, really just getting completely lost in the music. I had a long discussion with my friend about one of our other close friends leaving town to move to the west coast, and things got a little emotional - we were genuinely sad that this guy was just going to pack up his shit and leave. After all the experiences we had shared! I went back to my dorm eventually, still pretty high, and put on Boards of Canada in my headphones as I watched the walls breathe in time with the music. I was a little raw, emotionally, and a little scared of the trip going sour, and thought that the music may have been a poor choice (Geogaddi is an album that always produces a lot of weird feelings for me). Then, during a lull in the music between tracks, a voice rang out from the dorm hallway: "DUDE! YOU PUT *SHIT* ON MY DOOR HANDLE!" I laughed for so long. I didn't have a grand revelation, because nobody really does on acid. But I don't take things as seriously as I used to. Also our friend ended up moving back because it's kind of hard to make it in Portland by yourself if you only have a guitar to your name.

Rob Dalton

first time i shroomed — a skinny 20-year-old — i spent what seemed like eight years laughing at my reflection in a mirror because all i could see was gabe kaplan.

Heather J

Bonnaroo festival, 2006. My friends and I had a simultaneous aural hallucination that Tom Petty sounded just like Montgomery Burns from the Simpsons. We all looked at each other furtively…”like, did you hear that?” I also had a semi-religious experience in the EDM tent at the 2007 Virgin Festival listening to DJ Sasha & John Digweed play a set. But that was just awesome, not bizarre.

Amy Lewis

My friends and I watched Kate Bush videos and made the MOST delicious tabbouleh. I also found a mysterious, shining talisman while walking around campus that turned out to be a discarded bottle cap.

Matthew Thomas

I absolutely spent my first mushroom experience listening to Lungfish's Talking Songs For Walking and Love is Love streamed from my friend's see-through Apple Mac and watching Gene Simmons coalesce, in full make up, from the wood grain pattern on the back of his bedroom door.

Alan

The only time I mixed mushrooms and coke I got all my limbs into my friend's TRX set up in his basement. I called it the "Gorilla Cage" and made like I was trying to furiously attack everyone that came by, but I was restrained by the TRX straps.

Sedric and Charlie

I have not done the shrooms but I know a guy who did when visiting... Leeds, I think, and whilst he and a friend were wandering the city at night he became obsessed with the idea that the entire city was actually a fake set up by the British government as a psy-op

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

Shrooms have never done me wrong. I was a bona fide Nature Girl, all chasing Pan through the wooded Appalachian foothills with some tooty flutey in the headphones. The couple of times I dropped acid though, fuck me sideways, BAD TIMES. I had a gallbladder attack during one of those times and severely sprained my ankle misjudging a curb the other time. Also, hell yes Pat and Ray are brochachos 5eva.

Benjamin Archer

My friends and I were collaboratively drawing, by which I mean one guy was drawing and two others were standing at his shoulders saying things like "eh, erase that line. not feeling it.'" and "THAT'S a good line."

Walter Cooke

Not a rock on a 1932 beach, but I thought I was a dog and could smell the WHOLE beach and the ocean and the friends I was with (also on shrooms). I ran dog-like on all fours up and down the beach smelling millions of different odors. Which was cool until I decided to smell the woman next to me and stuck my nose in her crotch. She laughed loudly and held my head tightly in place. Afterwards I felt very embarrassed and apologized but she said she didn't even remember it happening. Just as well...

Nicholas Williams

A good friend and I lay on top of an enormous rock in the North Carolina mountains in the freezing-ass dead of winter, in the middle of the night, listening to two other tripping friends crash around in the underbrush and pretend they were idiot bears. It was ok that they were acting this way, because it was good, and it filled our hearts with love for them. Later, on the walk back down the mountain, I looked down a trail and all these droplets had frozen on the pine branches and were glinting in the moonlight, and I absolutely understood why our ancestors believed in faeries.

GruntyGinMan

Basically this is the shrooms version of electrocuting his dick

blair

It's like Beef's smile in The Math.

Brian Sawicki

A friend and I were tripping shrooms when another friend, who was not tripping but was acutely aware of the fact that we were, brought out two $1 kites from Walmart from out of nowhere. The three of us proceeded to walk to the highest parking garage we could find and fly the kites on top of it, where the wind would be unobstructed and we could be away from other people. It just so happened that the wind was blowing at like 30mph that day so the cheap kites were whipping around in death spirals and nearly injuring us numerous times as we tried to control them. I laughed harder than I had ever laughed before. It is possibly the closest I have ever come to experiencing pure happiness in my life.

Adam Whybray

Losing my sense of selfhood and so believing I could just choose the self I would return to via a Mortal Kombat-style character selection screen; before this, believing I was a cat and then thinking I was trapped in an endlessly looping corridor for all infinity.

Adam Whybray

I went with Air's 'Moon Safari', which was a blissful choice, into 'Geogaddi', which I found a rather bad chouce... into the Legendary Pink Dots's 'The Maria Dimension', which was a largely terrible choice!

Oppido

Lyle getting in touch with his Pooh Sorrows, Pat and Ray remembering why they were knuckleheads in the first place... the Achewood gang are older and wiser these days, and it's beautiful. (And the part of me that's terrified of maturity takes comfort in knowing Todd is frantically slurping his cocaine out of the mud puddle he spilled it in, even now.)

Joshua Nadas

This has been a fabulous story arc. Really enjoying it

Mina Roller

1982, 18 years old - drank some shroom tea at the house of the Bojangles Chicken manager, with all of my male coworkers. They all laughed it up and had a great time, running up and down the stairs. I was sitting on the couch counting minutes for hours. Not fun. I did way better with acid.

cody

I think it turned into Todd all by itself, no particular assistance required. Also I have not properly tripped because I’m a square. Weed makes me insane and I fall asleep when I have three drinks.

M. J.

walking around outdoors on a baseball diamond and the ground is breathing, eating sand at gulf of mexico sobbing and exclaiming that her hair was so red

Nicole Hendershott

I walked with my friends to the edge of our college town and, after hours of immature mutual self-reflection, desperate for a meaningful climax that midnight in rural Southern Illinois could never provide, I picked a puddle in the newspaper press’s parking lot, announced we had come there to “take the waters” and lovingly washed my face with it.

Kayla Unknown

Hung out at my now-ex-girlfriend's pool and spent two years legitimately unsure whether or not I was a mermaid. Not sure why that one... lingered. The mid-20s are a hell of an age to remember.

Thea

I've been enjoying all the stories in these comments, but this one's my favorite.

Thea

I feel like I must've been doing it wrong, both times I've tried mushrooms it's been in a closed bedroom to ensure a safe environment so the trips have been mostly internal. I think my experiences have been pretty standard: - I talked to a part of myself that usually isn't available in that way* and decided that the only really important thing in life is love. - When tripping together with my partner, it felt like we were one and turning into a kind of soup. At certain moments I was worried and/or hopeful that after the trip we'd get ourselves mixed up in reassembly. - I felt like everything, including myself, was becoming mushrooms. Everything belonged to the mycelial network and having anything less than complete empathy for everyone and everything seemed incomprehensible. I cried at the cruelty of my fellow humans/mushrooms towards each other, as it's ultimately a cruelty towards the self. - It seemed so clear that I could come back to this state of mind any time I wanted, no chemical influence needed; I'd just need to nudge my mind in this easy and obvious way that I can't identify outside that moment. I wish this had been true. * "a part of myself that isn't usually available in that way": if I'd had even the slightest inclination towards religion I'd probably have thought I was talking to god, but it turns out that even on mushrooms I don't believe in such things. A pity, perhaps.

Thea

Also all the classic visual stuff, of course - colors swimming, surfaces pulsating, sounds being visible. I found myself wondering - how much of this is induced by the chemicals themselves, and how much of it is shaped by preconceived notions based on media?

Jacquelyn R Walters

Many fun trips in my youth. One that stands out was taking mushrooms at my friend's apartment, turning on Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and partway through the movie, there was a blackout. The power was out for hours. We lit candles and tried not to get scared in the dark. We talked and talked and felt like we'd figured life out. I went to the bathroom, which was being lit by only a small tealight candle, and I decided it was nice in there and felt safe and refused to come out for more than an hour. My friend's boyfriend had to leave and use the washroom at a nearby Tim Hortons. I discovered that if I sprayed the aerosol air freshener above the candle, the droplets ignited and sparkled. I finally left the bathroom because I'd sprayed so much air freshener in this small enclosed space that it was making me cough and I had to come out for air.

Josh Krauter

I thought my beach towel was Pam Grier. It was a fun couple minutes (hours?).

Datura

once my friend and i ate 9 grams of dry shrooms each and he whipped out his dick in public and kind of just held it and looked at me

Datura

brisk weather trips are memory makers

Datura

Todd got a M.Ed. and is teaching continuing education to people afflicted by palsy

Nate

Jesus CHRIST this cuts through the thick muddling fog of reality that is this world post 2016ish. This storyline is the first inhalation of real, genuine air I have felt in ages, and I remember now what it feels like to breathe the air of a world with new Achewood in it.

pieps

all I'm saying is, make sure you all agree on who's responsible for keeping tabs on the chicken tenders _before_ everything starts.

Dan Brookes

The last time (as in most recent and probably the last one) I visited a stone circle and got lost and ended up gurning at people in a National Trust stately home. I then broke my finger on the bus misjudging a combination of where the stair rail was and how a bus might move when turning a corner. Then, on returning to my home city, the effects were only growing so I decided to take a long way home in order to avoid running into any of my students. As luck would have it, I ran into five of them, the paranoia etched into my face with each interaction.

Clench and Cheese

Now we know what it takes to make Pat smile. However, we must remember that Ray is all churlish because of the guy is a fake, and Pat is mad because he's a fucking bitch and always will be. I hope we don't get a Liebot redemption story next or I will put my head on a rail and whistle for a train.

Andrew

I did mushrooms in Amsterdam several years before they clamped down on them. I was convinced all the furniture in my hotel room was very slowly sliding around in order to form a kind of puzzle. I solved the puzzle and as my prize received the knowledge that dying will not be scary.

John Robinson

Can I safely admit here that I am not, never have been, and most likely never will be a Person Of Drugs? Plants, powders, pills, or potions, I've done none. I even quit drinking in '99, about six months after I turned 21. I'd not a decision I've ever necessarily regretted, but reading the stories here, it does seem like my box of crayons is missing a color or two.

2scrogz

The Good: - My first ever experience, in college. I tried to fold laundry, but I had to stop because it was hilarious, and I was just doubled over laughing at how soft the clean clothes were. I went out to the back porch into the mist of a rainy fall Boston day in just a t-shirt and pants. I had to go back inside because 1. I loved everything so much it felt like my heart would explode. 2. The tree out back was reaching for me in a way that I was not sure whether or not it was threatening. - Out of our gourds in Vondelpark, Amsterdam, with my wife, watching dogs play in the dog park together, laughing so hard that our abs hurt the next day. I strongly recommend watching dogs playing together while tripping. The Not-So-Good: - Ate too much too early with a friend in SF before we were supposed to go to a Black Keys / Arctic Monkeys show in Oakland. We were going to take the BART, but as we stood on the platform, in the heat of midsummer, waiting for our train to come, both of us started to sweat. Profusely. My legs turned to play-dough, and I slid - or rather, melted - down the wall I was leaning against. I started to get The Fear, at being deep underground, in a hot, noisy place, with too many other people. I turned to my friend, who was also feeling The Fear. "We gotta get the fuck out of here" we pretty much both said to each other simultaneously. We struggled up the stairs out of the station, trying to make our way inconspicuously back to his apartment, while the buildings of the Mission district bounced in rhythm like Toontown from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" We watched Super Troopers until we calmed down enough to take a stroll around his neighborhood, to feel like we were doing something productive. By this point, the trip was soured by the disappointment we both felt in ourselves for failing to get to the show. Lesson learned: if you're going to go deeply down the rabbit hole to attend an event, ensure that you can get to the venue before you drop the big dose. These days, I stick to just occasional micro-dosing. I've had the heavier experiences, and I just want to make the trees look a little bit swirly from time to time, not question the entire nature of existence. The anti-anxiety after-effects still work for me at lower dosage.

Vi Hermens

It is. I recommend starting off with weed gummies and getting real comfortable and snack adjacent. Everything else comes with time and dance music.

LowClarity

After drinking and playing frisbee with my friend and her dog, I ate a lot of strong mushrooms with my other buddy and his g/f. He and I threw the frisbee until they kicked in hard, at which point we both said almost at the same time "We need to go inside" (I had jumped on a tree stump to retrieve the frisbee and a strange, lingering feeling shot into my leg from the stump, like I'd disrespected it). We listened to Aqua Teen Hunger Force music and I laid down near a window. Sweaty from earlier, I smelled myself and heard a dog barking. I smelled like fear. I felt like my friend and his g/f wanted me to leave (I don't think they did) but there was no way I could drive. I kept sitting up like I had a question, but words would fail me and I'd lay back down. The bathroom seemed different each time I went in. Eventually, my buddy put on "The Big Lebowski" and the whole movie played quickly in my mind before it came on the TV. I could almost not handle what a great movie we were about to watch. The movie calmed me down and later at night I drove home, feeling like I'd barely survived the ordeal and hoping I could return to my old self by sleeping.

Achewood

Now this is the goods right here people

Linus Mixson

Lie Bot needs no redemption.