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I am in the post-norovirus (Wikipedia: “Winter Vomiting Disease”) stage wherein gratitude and joy at the opportunity to once again simply walk the earth course abundantly through me. Breakfast shall be 3-5 almonds, the aroma off a piece of toast, and a cautious gulp of matcha. Then we’ll see how arm day at the gym goes. Hopefully I can at least get to the front desk check-in then back to the car.

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Comments

Josh Egbert

This isn't even the worst day T has ever had.

Dan Brookes

Never thought about using lotion before

Jesse LE

I'm not sure what's sadder, the broken glasses or Teodor genuinely thinking "she's my boss, we're on the same side."

Christopher Malone

There's a metaphor here about the substance/style debate...

Amit Katz

I keep reading to see how hard T is going to fall and it's getting pretty gruesome

zoë

i'm sure recalling his time in the back of nice pete's van is some comfort to him

Bob the Fish Productions

He died in front of pornography once and that wasn't the worst day he ever had. Better than this, though.

Oppido

The sad thing is, T could've hustled rent money out of Ray weeks ago with a 15-minute game of pool, but instead he had to have Ego about it.

Oppido

The broken glasses at least make for satisfying bookends with the shattered phone screen.

Not Hector Jimenez

Clearly you haven't fully explored Carey's body of work.

Jay Y

"She's my boss, we're on the same side." Sweetie, no....

Sedric and Charlie

my god Teodor I think this is the second least dignified death you've ever had

Liz

Teodor using too much lotion while jerking off is the kind of character detail that spirals out into the mind and takes hold. My theory? He read an article about the dangers of a dry jack (skin breakdown, irritation, possible infection) and wayyy overcorrected. Like, he goes through two bottles of Jergens a month overcorrected.

Cy Heffley

chris using that atomic habits mindset, just put on your workout clothes and call it a friday king

Joe Locastro

T is the distilled hope, misplaced trust, and over-achievement expectations of my entire generation.

Bungus Bronbo

Flexing? Funking? Fouring? Fadeing? Flowing? Ah, it could be anything! Another fantastic cliffhanger, looking forward to more clues for what the covered word might be!

Clench and Cheese

Fuck dude, I had no idea you were such a dick of a landlord. You're already a god who can grant Teodor eternal life, a third leg, a million billion dollars (like you did for Ray) or Elon Musk's head on a spike (not a jar). But no, you break his phone, write him mean notes, then bust his glasses and twist his ankle. You're going all old testament on his ass.

Cf Duddy

The symmetry, the mystery, the below the surface hysteria, Teodor’s Return to Saturn is terrifying!

Shawn Warren

the actual largest tragedy here is Teodor's phone situation

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

Mr Onstad, you're not being at all unreasonable regarding the rent. However, the amount of lotion/lube a dude jerks it with is his own private kingdom.

Dusty Lee

I seem to remember Téodor having a chance at receiving a third leg in the back of Nice Pete's van...

Josh Egbert

It wouldn't even rate top ten worst things the Lil Shaver has ever heard in that house.

Lisa Taylor

Honestly that's what broke me.

GruntyGinMan

There's like 7 worse things going on in the living room

GruntyGinMan

One gets the impression Lyle told Onstad T spend a couple thou on fashion and fashion accessories.

Lionstooth

Teodor Orezscu, you are now entering... The Twilight Zone

E Corcoran

He's also the spinelessness and sexual fecklessness of that generation.

Oppido

Achewood is really in its "bears lying dead on the ground" era.

Traedran

I don't know if it counts as his private kingdom if children behind the barrier of a bedroom door are mentioning it to the landlord because they cannot not hear the little sad bear's onanistic fury.

Thickolas

"She's my boss, we're on the same side" Holy cow I knew he was a dumb boy fooling himself but damn that letter put him into full fantasyland

Joe Locastro

So true, dammit. It feels like fate is turning his wheel as much as his own bad decisions sometimes.

Matt Amis

Dang but T is having a rough one

2scrogz

I don't know how you expect to ever receive the rent if you keep writing him deeper into catastrophe like this. Or maybe T would find a way to fail this hard anyway, with a focus and intensity normally reserved for successes, even if given every advantage.

A. Hamster

i have had norovirus

2scrogz

Wait a minute, the broken high-end men's eye-wear in the final panel is giving me this weird foreshadowing vibe... like Ray is about to show up, save Teodor's ass from his financial predicaments while cracking wise on T's terrible choices, resume his relationship with Tina, and pen a brand new Prime Time Records hit, "LovePhoenix Remix." Think of the Tradition of Excellence!

A. Hamster

Also, I have been informed via Facebook ad that Wingstop has declared this month to be “Dry Rub January”.