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0049 - The Account, Pt. 8, 2-PAGE FINALE (Patreon)

Published:
2024-02-02 18:00:12
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

That's right, this one's two pages long. Don't forget to read the second page, because that is where the finale is. If you just read the first page, it will seem like a pretty bad finale, or at least the kind of anti-finale that has been popular in Hollywood lately, ever since writers' parents stopped reading them Agatha Christie as infants. 

EXCELSIOR

FINALE FINÁLE FINĀLE

Files

Comments

Shawn Clark

Beep is a hell of a drug.

I Am Sancho

Fucking hell. I also read this about an hour after finding out I didn't get a job I was really after, so that message from Tina, double damn.

Derek Adams

Doc Andretti has got no mercy

Lynsey McCoskey

Ray's "Ok. Aight. Sucks" face/phrase combo is so good

Spyguitar

I would like to feel like that one tank in Nintendo, tho

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

Oh no, Haldol. Never good news when you have to have Haldol on hand. Rough chuckles my guy.

bootblacking

Don't you ever want to put on a great big T-shirt and cry

BenSlaveryisGood

I have to know which tank from nintendo beep makes the kids feel like.

Daniel Grieff

Not wanting to relate to Teodor is the essence of being like Teodor.

Yelahneb Unicornucopiax

Sometimes I worry that every T moment we've been seeing is a hallucination from during the van times with Nice Pete and that old dude with the schlong

Linus Lee

We're all weak chinese linoleum if you think about it. fragile.

bootblacking

Also: Onstad WTF what did Teodor ever do to you

Joseph E.

So Elon was just a hallucination? This comic has been so weird before pthat it didn't even occur to me that he wouldn't be real.

Clench and Cheese

They just laid off 700 people at my company, but this time it didn't include me. Haldol is smooth and buttery compared to Thorozine, so Tedor gonna have a fine, but dull, time

EndgamerAzari

We all knew this wasn't going to end well for T, but this goes so far beyond my expectations of humiliation and degradation that it feels like the time my karate instructor demonstrated a kick to the back of the knee on me (spiritually)

Brian Sutton

The tanks in Guerrilla War are a perfect allegory to being in Beep-State.

EndgamerAzari

Since he got the text from Tina, his bill got paid somehow, though...

b.zap

First Winnie, now Teodor. It's unbearable.

Captain Chaos

Onstad why you got to do a thing poor Teodor

Josh Egbert

Anyone know where I can get some beep?

Marc Harkness

I'm now really questioning all of Doc Andretti's diagnoses back over the years.

EndgamerAzari

I imagine having to pick up the physical and mental pieces of Ray's adventures takes a toll on a man and his professional motivation.

Alissa & Will Hattman

The only thing I knew about this arc was that it was going to end with T in horrible pain but this still shattered my expectations

Rob Dalton

My linoleum could be harder.

John Robinson

That strikes me as the hand of a benevolent Smuckles acting. A Ray-us Ex Machina, if you will (please don't).

blair

Yo, could someone who doesn't have the cataracts please relay Tina's message?

Jarret Cooper

ARGH WHAT IS REAL I have to go with Tina's text being part of the hallucination, and I will hear no more about it.

Allan

Sometimes the real stuff is fake too. Sometimes the fake stuff is real too.

Mark Redacted

From: Tina Teodor, thank you for your time but it's not a fit. Your unpaid trial period is over.

Oppido

Could be the phone itself was a hallucination too. I could see Andretti not wanting T to have his phone while he's in the detox tank.

J.

Haldol comes in a convenient, peanut butter cup form for comfort.

Jake McIntyre

He does Pay Attention, after all

jordan b.

the turn I didn't expect but that we all deserved ( except maybe Téodor ).

Oppido

I dunno man. I'm not a HUGE fan of "it was all a dream" endings, especially for storylines that I've spent two months getting invested in. That said, those final six panels are devastators, and this was at least a nice bit of character redemption for Ray, who I'm still a little peeved at for failing to even register Pat's post-Ron olive branch.

Omurice

I’d give anything to have a doctor with the diagnostic skills of Dr. Andretti. My damn quack never heard of beep.

Bungus Bronbo

damn chris what did teodor ever do to you

Zen Window

im assuming ts not being an unreliable narrator here because the alternative is daaaark and far less funny than rays well meaning but lets face it dumb ass misunderstanding the entire situation

Oppido

I'm starting to think that at some point, a bear was a cock to Onstad and did not wage peace.

blair

Thanks! Holy shit.

Kayla Unknown

99% sure the joke is that T's fall from grace was so outrageous that Ray and Dr. Andretti assume it was a drug trip, yeah.

Josh Egbert

What could be more of a Loser Move than to tell your friend about the situation & they have you put on a 72 hour hold? Elon chose well.

zaratustra

Reality has three options here and they're all sad. The end! No moral.

GruntyGinMan

Woo I am NOT afraid to take in the world Smash Bros champ now!

RJ Carmine

All MBAs are like that. Having one isn't correlated with anything other than shafting employee wages. Capitalism is a hell of a drug

Nicholas Williams

Doc Andretti fuckin' comin' for Tina in his own gentle way.

Tom Morris

Nah not like this. Not like this

Funkulus

Bleak, Onstad, bleak.

Sedric and Charlie

my god that's some Requiem For A Dream shit right there

Oppido

Someone pointed out below that maybe it WASN'T all just a dream, and that T was just richly screwed from every direction, including by a clueless Ray. I hope this is the case and that I was wrong! It'd be both bleaker and much funnier this way.

Ben Wilinofsky

My theory is that Teodor is a vessel for all of the parts of Onstad that he is unhappy with. Who amongst us has not daydreamed up a special hell for our own lesser demons?

KTB

I mean quite rightly. Ray might have assumed this was a scam on Tina’s part if T hadn’t been so naïve that he overlooked obvious details (the agency being constantly empty, no talk of money, the clients being bottom-barrel takeout joints) and failed to relay those details to Ray. And then T tells him about the Elon call, and the Elon call probably is a delusion caused by his pretty bad fall and presumed concussion. Either that, or it’s an absurdity of Achewood, but either way it puts T’s story into a place where it fits more closely to drug trip than reality.

KTB

Chalk my opinion up as: not a dream, but T brought it on himself, and Ray and Dr Andretti are responding rationally.

Jenn

It's too bleak

Jenn

I bet T was not actually hallucinating. I don't think he beeped. The truth will come out! *screams*

lake

So Tina was squatting in the empty offices and using Teodor to get herself free meals.

C C

I guess it just doesn't matter if it was a hallucination brought on by Beep or a sad piece of his reality, he was always going to get fucked. There are some people who seem to have every opportunity and resource to succeed yet every decision they make is the wrong one. Life will always make sure Teodor is fucked every which way.

Alex Ruppel

It's like achewood poirot

Chris Ressler

What’s the point of bringing something into the world if you can’t torment it endlessly- god, probably

Oppido

Anyway, it looks like Teodor doesn't have to worry about housing in the immediate term.

GruntyGinMan

Congratulations Jesus Christ. You are our horrified expression of the week.

E Corcoran

those were beautiful moments

E Corcoran

the quality of her commodore makes up for it

AzureSP

The re-read on this is really satisfying. All the Tina stuff just clicks.

A. Christopher

T: "I have a broken ankle" Ray: "Hop in" In darkest times, Ray will still be Ray.

Tom Morris

It happened to me IRL.

zaratustra

broken ankle ain't like Teodor

John Ashton

Ouch. Definitely how my first year out of university worked, economically (Happier times have visited since).

John Ashton

unbearable. I see what you did there.

Nicole Lyden

What is the “one tank from Nintendo” - I gotta know the specific tank

Tom

I of course thought of Kid Chameleon* , here's how chatGPT described: "It sounds like you're describing "Kid Chameleon," an old SEGA Genesis game released in 1992. In "Kid Chameleon," you play as a kid with the ability to change into different forms by putting on different helmets. Each form has its own abilities, and one of these forms is indeed a tank, among others like a knight, a samurai, and a maniaxe. The game is well-remembered for its challenging levels and the variety of power-ups and transformations available to the player. It's a classic 2D platformer that was quite innovative for its time due to the sheer variety of gameplay mechanics introduced through the different character transformations." *ok fine I didn't actually remember what it was called but still close enough for the robots to figure it out

Omnithea

Master Blaster? Tank jumps around.

ladiesbane

I don't love Teo the way some people do, but harming him in this way is making me angry. Why wouldn't they try him on a little atypical, a little antidepressant? He's not harming himself or anyone else; why do they have him in a seclusion room? It's not okay.

Brian Horstead

He noticed that ain't like Teodor because he pays attention

jacob moore

We got that non-Teodor POV scene of Tina trying and failing to get Lunch Lord's business so I'm assuming she was just using the empty marketing office to hustle Teodor until Ray and Andretti accidentally gaslit him

2scrogz

"Late with the rent? Narrative arc gets bent!" -Onstad, apparently

2scrogz

At first I thought the same - that Tina was real (but really hustling Teo with her fake "Agentce"), but Elon was fake, a post-head-bonk hallucination. But someone else pointed out that, if Elon's call was hallucinated, how did Teo's phone service get restored enough to get the "You're fired!" text from Tina? So I think it all actually happened to Teodor, but he's such a fuck-up at narrating what happened to him to Ray - and Elon's proposition is so far-fetched - that from Ray's/Doc's perspective, it just looks like Teodor's got psychosis / grandiose delusions.

Duncan

I thought maybe Blaster Master? There's no drug on earth that could make you feel like BATTLETANX, though.

Thickolas

It's a good thing he's under observation because just following the story sure made *me* contemplate self-harm.

Mina Roller

To add insult to injury, T ended up assigned to room 5.

Andrew Reynolds

Pretty sure T's phone wallpaper is Ian Curtis. Of course. My brain is fizzling trying to remember if I saw that in a previous comic. Also, holy shit.

Distant Egg Song

Who's more legit? The loser or the loser who got fired from a job where his sole duty was to be a loser? Two souls chasin' each other down the same drain, dude.

Brandon Rahhal

Kid Chameleon could become a tank, but KC was never a Nintendo title. It's possible the doctor is mixing up the older consoles but I think the Master Blaster tank makes more sense. Though I was stuck on the tank from Ikari Warriors, the one that could be TWO tanks if you and a friend executed the secret maneuver of entering the command to enter the tank at the same time.