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Roast Beef's Latest Junk Shop Find (Patreon)

Published:
2024-02-17 17:41:52
Imported:
2026-06

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Content

Please enjoy the full transcript of this long-forgotten public service bulletin, recently discovered by Roast Beef Kazenzakis at a cavernous junk shop several miles out of town. 

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Comments

GruntyGinMan

So this was definitely written by a mod of /r/suburbanhell and /r/fuckcars right?

Achewood

Me, after this last week in Savannah

Julie (HiDeeHoGal)

It's similar in Atlanta. Drivers there display a confused mix of malice and carelessness. Then they leave their cars and become human again, all with disbelief of how they have to behave in order to drive.

Ben Sunshine-Hill

But wait! The walk sign - it is misshapen! It peels away from its illuminated housing to reveal - a Ford Expedition! OHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIT

Omurice

Savannah would be better for ya. You just get in trouble in Atlanta.

Distant Egg Song

Fascinating. I've observed a similar lust for the lifeblood of their fellow motorists in the eyes of certain Houstonian drivers, but to think that the murderous urge towards pedestrians is so universal in Savannah is a troubling one indeed.

Stavro

My headcanon is that Beef found the transcript and made Ray ($) and Teodor help him film a recreation where he could cosplay as 'Bug'

A. Hamster

In Pennsylvania, pedestrians would do well to approach the second story of their homes with caution, as motorists may use culverts as a launching point to target them.

b.zap

neckbeard pedimotorast

professor husband

I was about to say… Savannah is positively genteel compared to 285 or 400, or even just Buckhead on the right evening…

C C

I get the impression Onstad did not find Savanah to be especially pedestrian friendly. In my several regrettable visits to Georgia, I have found it lacking in the charm so often spoken of in travel reels.

Crumbles

On my first visit to Savannah, I found myself drinking a beer next to a young man attending SCAD. When prompted with a "how's it going?" he proceeded to inform me he had been robbed at knifepoint in broad daylight walking home for lunch, which had been ransacked for his TV. It did a fine job of tarnishing both the southern charm and the notion of undirected perambulation.