Apologies (Patreon)

Don't think it's been a secret (harhar) but my mental health has not been great the last year and a half to two years.  It's a constant roller-coaster where I feel decent one day and beyond the pale the next.  This has delayed pretty much all my plans for this year, from videos I wanted to finish to other projects and ideas, to commissions I really should get done.  It's been terrible, and I have been getting counseling to help with the depression.

As you have seen, I have tried out new things to get past this, like the pose box and RoR to allow myself more freedom, to many things I never even talked about, but nothing has really worked.  One of the few things that kept me sane was just doing random stuff on my own, which you may notice in the archive draft folder using forbidden models.  If your looking for some nostalgia, check out that archive for personal stuff you may see a lot of a certain horned lady in there.

In the end though I kind of killed this place.  Interest is low, subscriptions are down, and I am not making enough money to survive.  I took on a graveyard job part time to fill the gaps, but even that won't be sustainable at the rate I lose you guys every month, and the loss of sleep is kind of killing me too.

So I thought about why I keep going back to the old models.  It's not the lore or setting anymore, as I stopped playing that game a long time ago now.  It's really the OCs, the attachment to my own characters and own stories that I was able to mingle with other characters and mesh with the styling.  As you know, I wanted to create my own fantasy setting, but lack of time, will, and savings prevented that from really happening and each month I lost more of you it just seemed like a farther and farther dream.

Have an idea though, and I wanted your guys input.

The last three weeks I have done some intense scouring of the net and have found a load of resources I can use inside Unreal for both movies and interactive scenes.  My idea is to have two "Unreal Projects" that I can just animate and stick stuff in.  One will be based on FF14, as I showed before, but the other will use outside resources to create a sort of pocket dungeon that I can just run wild with.  It will have new OCs I design and play with, but also can have tons of cameos from other franchises, like LoL, Witcher, etc, being pulled through, like a multi-verse. 

This won't replace the videos, which I still plan to do and post publicly, but instead will be something extra I do on my own time, with little quick videos I will post on my main twitter only and interactive downloads that will be exclusive for you guys.  If this works out, maybe I can turn it into a game, or a full setting, who knows.  What you guys think?

Anyways, for those that have stuck with me since I started to lose it, thank you, and I hope I can be better for all of you starting next year.  Jinx will be soon.