First Look: Chapter One of Misfits Like Us (Patreon)

This first look is taking the place of a teaser today for Teaser Tuesday, as this chapter is the ultimate tease! So a teaser isn't coming, but there'll be three (yep, three!) teasers tomorrow 🎉 We hope you enjoy chapter one of Misfits Like Us! 

IMPORTANT: Please do NOT screenshot and/or share any portion of the post. This is an exclusive first look for the Patreon and for your eyes only. Thank you!! ♥️

MUSIC: we listened to "Free" by Florence + The Machine while writing this chapter.

Dear Unearthly Reader,

One day, possibly millenniums from now when you discover this planet, I imagine you’ll find this story entombed beneath centuries of rubble and heartache. If it’s buried with my fragile bones, likely you’ll think I’m the strangest creature you’ve ever seen. With my human arms and legs and feet. This story is not just so you’ll understand how often I’ve thought of you—that I’ve wondered what you’d be like and if your planet is far better than the one I’ve lived on.

I want you to know who I am. Even if I’m gone.

This is my story that I hope you’ll find and be able to read.

And it’s his.

I couldn’t exclude him. You’ll find out why soon enough.

The story does not begin with my first breath on Earth. I’ve started at the part that matters the most to me. May you discover something of worth in this text; I hope it finds you well.

Somewhere far, far away,

Luna Hale

LIFE ISN'T SOMETHING complicated to me. Been living for twenty-nine years. Think I can survive for one more. I’ve got that ruthless confidence that makes love to merciless independence, and my head isn’t in the clouds with some over-hyped optimism. I just know if I’m in the dark, I’ll dig my way through shit to find the light.

Self-reliance is the best drug my parents ever gave me.

Elbowing the front door shut, I’m quiet as I enter the Philly house. Eight bedrooms. Plenty of bathrooms. House is a funny way of saying mansion.

Though, not that many call it one. It’s not swimming in crystals and marble like the Cobalt Estate. It’s cozy with furniture you’d see in family sitcoms. Shelves aren’t stocked with first edition novels in different languages. Just comics.

Lots and lots of comics.

It’s still strange being here and not with the Cobalt Empire. I protected two Cobalt brothers before I was assigned to protect a Hale. Thought I’d be assigned to every Cobalt before I was put on a Hale’s detail.

Mainly because of their dad.

Mostly because of him.

Goals—I make them often. Most people probably think I have none. But I got ‘em.

Goal: Don’t run into Loren Hale.

It’s Friday. I’ve succeeded all week. I deserve a cheesecake, thank you very much. Might go get one tonight. What’s stopping me?

Her dad.

I push back the nagging thought. He’s not stopping me from eating cheesecake. He’s not. And no one likes a nag. The kind that poke at your brain and make you rethink yourself at every turn—those gotta be the worst. I don’t like rethinking everything.

I just like doing.

“I’m at the Hale House. Where you at?” I ask in a whisper, phone propped to my ear with my shoulder. It’s the ear without the tactical earpiece. My hands are full of Earth’s greatest nectar.

Wawa coffee.

Two steaming to-go cups warm my palms.

“New York. Trying not to wake up my baby sister,” Oscar tells me quietly and spits in the sink, probably brushing his teeth this early a.m.

“Need some diapers?” I ask lightly, a grin forming. I hear his grunt, like he wants to retort but can’t with a mouth full of toothpaste, so I go on. “Gotta get the pureed chicken and gravy for your baby, man. Can’t let her starve. Only the best for Baby Jo.”

He mumbles out, “You have recent experience eating baby food?”

“Nah, that shit’s expensive.” I did once look up the cost of baby food. When I thought I got a girl pregnant. Baby wasn’t mine. Didn’t even sleep with her. Turns out, the baby belonged to my uncle in prison, and now that baby has been adopted by Farrow and Maximoff Hale.

Life does have happy endings that way. I have to believe in them. Or else what’s the point, right? Some great endings just take an arm or a leg to reach.

I hear the faucet.

Oscar spits again. “You say any of that around Jo and she’ll have your nuts rolling on the floor ten-feet away from your dick, and I’ll watch and laugh.”

I will too. “Sounds like your sister just wants in my pants.”

“No, no, no. Sister jokes are officially off-limits. Legitimately, you’ve met your quota, which should be zero.” I don’t usually bring Joana into things.

“All I’m saying is she’s not a baby. Isn’t she twenty-one?”

“Almost.”

I know her birthday is in the fall. Late October. Next month, actually. I try not to forget things like that when it comes to the people who matter to me. Oscar matters. Which means so does his almost twenty-one-year-old sister.

“And she’ll always be my baby sister to me,” Oscar concludes.

“Yeah, I know.” Even though I’m an only child, I understand the power and bond of a sibling. And not just because I’m surrounded by families.

Families that I’m dedicated to protecting.

While I walk through the Hales’ foyer, I’m still trying not to be loud. So I don’t ask much about Joana living at his Hell’s Kitchen studio, which security (aka Akara Kitsuwon) pays for. I’m guessing she’s not moving out anytime soon. Free place to crash. Extra time spent with her big bro.

Who would leave?

Oscar is at his studio only when Charlie Cobalt is in New York, and then when Charlie is here, Oscar stays at the Philly apartment he owns with his husband, Jack.

The life I lived in New York, rooming with Oscar and protecting Beckett Cobalt while he protected Charlie, that doesn’t even feel that long ago. Though, I know it’s been almost two years.

In two years, my best friends both got married.

Amazing things.

And then the bad:

In two years, I wiped out my bank account for an uncle that I don’t even like.

In two years, I’ve sleepwalked more than I have in the past ten.

In two years, I haven’t been able to stop thinkin’ about her.

Fuck me, right?

Oscar keeps chatting. “I have ten minutes before I go chase Charlie around Manhattan with my husband.” I heard Jack is filming some kind of travel project for Charlie while We Are Calloway is in post-production. Editors are tweaking the Summer Olympic footage for the newest season.

The docuseries is fire—the kind of television that makes you think a bit harder. I do love those shows as much as the ones that just entertain and help you escape for a second. Just gotta be in the right mood for each one.

Oscar and I used to have a bet to see how many times our faces appear on We Are Calloway, but I put a halt on that ever since he married into production and became more than background filler. I didn’t have a hundred bucks to lose. Not when I was giving my paycheck to Scottie.

I still am.

But Akara offered all of Security Force Omega a raise. So now I do have some cash on hand. It’s not all going down the Scottie drain. I appreciate what Akara did, knowing he upped everyone’s pay to help me out, but I wish I could’ve proved that I had this under control myself.

That I didn’t need to take in order to give.

“I’ve got less than ten minutes,” I tell Oscar while I linger in the foyer. “I’m picking up Xander for school.” My eyes graze the Hale family photos on the hallway table, and I tear my gaze away before I see her face. “You hear rumors about a wedding ceremony?”

“That’s one of the things I was calling about, bro. Did you know?”

“Nah. If it’s true, it must’ve been a spontaneous thing after their proposal. Certified Meadows.”

“I’m not shocked they flew all the way to motherfucking Fiji or that they would tie the knot early, just that Kitsuwon didn’t ask for my help in keeping that shit under wraps. Stealth was at an all-time low. There’s like a hundred pics of them frolicking in the ocean.”

I laugh.

Banks Moretti and Akara Kitsuwon most likely married Sullivan Meadows in Fiji. They were all wearing the same kind of braided twine on their ring finger. Pictures surfaced maybe an hour ago. Two or three? With the time difference (nighttime in Fiji, morning in Philly) and the photo leak, it’s sorta hard to pinpoint the exact moment it all happened. No one else is there. Just the three of them in what I’m thinking was a private ceremony. Except for the paparazzi.

They caught everything.

I’m still grinning. “Guess they didn’t care if the whole world saw.”

I imagine Oscar grinning right back. “Good for them.”

“Stamp,” I say, stamping my name all over that statement in agreement. I’m wondering if Oscar already saw my tweet early this morning.

Three thumbs up for the happy triad 👍 👍 👍 #KitsullettiForever #polyawesome

I didn’t want to confirm a wedding happened because A.) they might want to hold off on a public statement since they most often ignore press, and B.) no one in security has confirmed if it’s real or rumor yet, even if it looks real to me.

My one tweet ignited a bunch of comments.

@callowayzrulz: Three thumbs down! Sulli is such a disappointment. She should’ve chosen ONE guy. It’s gross she’s with two.

@GorrforEternity01: stop advocating for Sulli to be with two men. It’s not right.

@Jer_Bear78: we were all rooting for her and then Sulli goes and does this. #KitsullettiNever #polyawful

@love-beam8: Evidence that the Meadows are the worst family. Cobalts & Hales would never. Fight me.

Akara isn’t in my time zone or on the same continent to suspend me from Twitter. So I told love-beam8 to go eat a cupcake. Find their happy place.

People who hate on Kitsulletti think it’s their 9-5 job to burn anything happy. And I’m always hoping to preserve good, joyous things.

“Second thing I wanted to talk to you about,” Oscar says while I’m in the cozy living room. Quiet and still. No one is awake yet, maybe. Xander’s parents are usually late risers like he is.

“What’s that?” I whisper.

“The triple date.”

I hold in a sigh. Not this again. “Triple Date? Never heard of her.” I swig my coffee. “What’s she look like?”

“You’d know if your ass stopped bailing on us. Farrow and I invited you to a triple date, not a two-hour mass. What’s the issue, bro?”

“Been busy.”

I’m not busy enough where I can’t make time for my friends.

“Not busy enough to bail on us,” Oscar retorts. He knows me well. “You were never averse to double dates with Redford, so a triple one shouldn’t be complicated.”

It shouldn’t be, yeah.

I’m quiet.

Oscar fills the silence. “Two weeks from now. I have the night off. We’re going out. Come out with us. Me, you, Redford, his husband, my husband, and whatever date you want to brin—”

“Shhseee.” I make a static crackling noise. “You’re…break…sorry—”

“Donnel—”

“You’re…break…up—”

“You motherfucker—”

“Can’t hear…got…go.” I drop the phone off my shoulder, letting the cell thump onto the top of the couch. After setting down one of the coffees on the floor to free a hand, I hang up on Oscar.

Do I want to go on a triple date with my best friends?

Mostly, yeah, I do. It’ll be a good time, and I like to strive towards those good things. Happy things. Lucky things. The things that make you stretch your arms out wide and breathe.

Old Donnelly would just pick someone up at the bar. Bring ‘em along. Not caring that they’d likely end the morning crawling out of bed and wishing they hadn’t slept with me.

New Donnelly isn’t as interested in that.

I don’t know why.

And then I do. I just don’t want it to be true. Because life is easier if I just move along without considering Luna Hale in everything. I don’t need to be thinking about her. Wondering what she’s doing.

What she’s up to.

I’ve never really been friends with a girl. And she’s the first girl that’s just a friend to me, and it’s been fucking me up, honestly.

After I send a text to Xander, telling him I’m here, a low growl lifts my eyes.

A fluffy, black-furred dog is guarding the Hales’ staircase. At least she’s not baring her teeth at me, but the deep rumble against her throat is telling me to get lost.

I’m not scared away that easily.

Think that must’ve been a pro in my bodyguard resume. Paul Donnelly is gonna stick around through all the terrifying things.

“Salem.” I gently greet Kinney’s dog from afar. She’s big. Weighs probably a buck-ten, and she’s considered a puppy. Not even two-years-old yet, the Hales’ four Newfoundlands are still growing.

I take a step (not even in her direction), and Salem arches her head. Growl deepening.

I freeze in place. “Still not liking me?” I look her over. “You know your whole litter has no problem with me. Arkham, Orion, Erebor—they all love me. Except you. What gives?”

Drool drips off the Newfie’s mouth and wets the hardwood.

Slipping my phone in my back pocket, I slowly crouch down to pick up the second coffee off the floor—every inch lower, she growls and twitches like she’s close to charging. “Vested by the power of Wawa. I come in peace.” I make a quick grab, both coffees in hand again.

She doesn’t lunge.

I smirk. She might not like me, but I still love her. “We have something in common, you should know. We’d do just about anything to protect the Hales.”

Salem lets out an uncertain growl.

Protecting this family might be my job, but there’s something about being a bodyguard that has never felt much like a job to me.

It’s not work. Not when it’s my whole world—when it’s something I look forward to day and night, something I know I’d miss, something I’m trying tooth and nail to preserve.

I guess it’s more like a purpose.

For once, I get to help people. I get to help them survive tomorrow. I get to be relied on and depended on and trusted upon, and I know I can do it. I’ve done it for six years already, and I’m pretty damn good at it, if I do say so myself.

Salem shuffles side to side, further blocking the staircase. Wasn’t going up there anyway. I’m just waiting down here for—

“You.”

I go cold at the sharp-edged voice.

My face drops with my smile, dread snaking down my spine, and I lift my gaze off Salem and to a different sort of threat.

Loren Hale has emerged from the kitchen, the door swinging shut behind him. Like always, he looks like he wants to annihilate me.

“Misfits Like Us," Copyright © 2022 by K.B. Ritchie