A Portrait From Space, chapter 1 (Patreon)

So. Here's a thing.

I've mentioned before that Pandora and Isabelle have their origins in a story I wrote in around 2003. In this story, Isabelle, then named Swanchita, was a princess who ended up captaining a spaceship after a series of odd events. Both she and Pandora (then called Peipei) were cisgender in this story, and there were some differences in their personalities. Proto-Isabelle was more naive and trusting, at times bordering on ditziness, and proto-Pandora was more of a comedically horny anime lesbian archetype. The whole thing was influenced a lot by anime I was watching at the time: stuff like El-Hazard, Lost Universe, Steel Angel Kurumi and Vandread all seem to have served as inspiration.

I began writing this story right around the time I was first wondering about my gender. I think I quickly realized that proto-Pandora was the character I most wanted to write about, even though she was conceived of originally as the protagonist's comic relief sidekick. And when I re-read this story a couple of years ago I realized that the character seemed, somehow, to read as very trans despite being, well, cis.

Despite hating a lot of the details of this story, the characters were back in my head at that point and I was soon dreaming up new adventures for them. This is eventually where Pandora's Tale sprang from - taking the elements that worked and crafting a new story from them. Peipei and Swanchita became Pandora and Isabelle. Romilla was a partial inspiration for both Con (the grumpy, pessimistic partisan) and Miss Fortuna (the knowledgeable adult in the room). The characters of Zerryn and Sanction ended up kind of fused together to create Zero.

I'm presenting this story here as kind of a historical artifact. I don't think it's aged super well, and it's much more of a silly adventure story than Pandora's Tale is. I'm definitely trying way too hard to be Douglas Adams in places. But with those disclaimers in place, there are still bits and pieces that I quite like, and if nothing else it's an illustration of where my brain was at 17ish years ago.

So here it is: A Portrait From Space, chapter 1: Young Alien Types

There are some things best left to the professionals.

Brain surgery, for example, and bomb disposal. Air-traffic control... that was another one.

Some people may be tempted to add politics to the list, but they’d be incorrect for various reasons. Firstly, there is nothing in the universe worse than a professional politician. Secondly, even relative amateurs could do it, which brings us to Swanchita.

Swanchita was a politician, albeit through no fault of her own. She was the first princess of the Kingdom of Lufecia, a nation of some importance, on Ulaani, a planet of no importance. At seventeen years of age, she would shortly be participating in her first major political act, namely marriage.

He was cute. Unnaturally cute. Prince Ilivo of North Ampasa. Admittedly, they had only met a few times, but it was fair to say that Swanchita was bowled over by his good looks. She certainly wasn’t alone in that sentiment, since Ilivo’s attractiveness was legendary across the planet. Of course, she herself was said to have legendary beauty- not entirely true, but it was the sort of thing people always said about princesses. Swanchita was more ‘cute’ than ‘beautiful’, but princesses are rarely described as cute.

The sky was clear tonight. Swanchita lay back on the grass and stared up at the stars. There had been a time when she had done this almost every night. She had first discovered this spot as a child, and she often used to give her ever-present bodyguards the slip and spend some time here, contemplating things. It was a small clearing, just off from the palace gardens, and a perfect vantage point for her favourite childhood hobby- watching the sky.

Ulaani was new to interstellar travel. It was less than fifty years since the planet’s first contact with an alien species, and few people had ever left the planet. This had made space travel all the more fascinating to the young princess.

“When I grow up,” she used to say, “I’m going to buy a spaceship and fly all over the galaxy.”

Everyone always nodded and smiled politely, and commented on what a superbly vivid imagination she had, while knowing that there was absolutely no way that anyone of Swanchita’s importance would ever be allowed off the planet and into the great unknown of space. Nobody ever thought to mention this to her, though.

She’d worked it out for herself eventually. Maybe that was why she hadn’t visited this spot for so long.

Why had she come here tonight? She wasn’t at all sure, but it felt right.

A point of light sped across the sky. Maybe it’s a spaceship, she thought to herself. She smiled. The vast probability was that it was a domestic aeroplane... but it recalled that wonderful time in her childhood when any object in the night sky that moved (and quite a few of the ones that stayed still) was a spaceship.

Those dreams had long since been replaced with reality. But she couldn’t complain. In a few weeks she’d be married to the most sought-after man on the planet. One day she’d be the ruler of an entire country. She couldn’t ask for more than that, really.

She let out a happy sigh and settled back on the grass. There was something very comforting about knowing one’s destiny. There was a lot to be said for fantasy, but certainty had its own appeal too. Closing her eyes, and feeling the soft summer breeze on her face, she reflected on the fact that she had never felt so safe, so secure.

All of which made the following events especially ironic.

A silent, invisible energy engulfed her. Without even noticing it was happening, the first princess of Lufecia faded from view.

The crewman approached the cell with extreme caution. He could just make out the occupant.

A tall woman with a furious expression was putting on a green hood, one which all but obscured her long red hair. In fact, she was dressed almost entirely in green. As he understood it, she was a nun, or something similar. On the basis of this, he’d expected her to be co-operative. He’d already discovered that this wasn’t the case.

He remained still, not really wanting to enter. She was scary, yes... but hardly the scariest person he’d ever encountered. It was just that... well, she was a woman. One couldn’t deal with women in the same way one dealt with men...

The woman looked up suddenly, noticing his presence.

“You there,” she said sharply. “Celeran.”

The last word was said with particular bitterness. The Celerans were the greatest economic and military power in the galaxy, and not entirely adored by many of the other races. Most Celerans didn’t realise this, and those that did had no idea why so many people disliked them, which in itself was actually part of the reason.

The crewman hesitated. “Um... what is it, ma’am?”

“When I woke up I was undressed down to my underwear. Why?”

“Well, you see...” The crewman shifted nervously, blushing. “Ahem... we needed to perform the medical tests. There was no other way...”

The woman stood up and walked slowly towards him. The fact that there was a security force field separating them did little to comfort the thoroughly embarrassed and intimidated crewman.

“I requested no medical tests,” the woman said icily.

He nodded. “Yes, I know. But this is necessary. Please try to co-operate. We won’t inconvenience you any more than is absolutely necessary...”

The woman snapped. “Inconvenience? Inconvenience? You intercept my shuttle, put me under sedation, strip me down to my underwear and carry out medical procedures without my consent! This is no way to treat one of the Holy Sisters of the Fifth Star Order...”

It briefly occurred to the crewman that he’d heard of the Fifth Star Order before, but he quickly put that to the back of his mind as the woman’s tone grew ever more confrontational.

“Why am I here?” she demanded. “I’ve broken no laws. You have no right to detain me like this. Why won’t you tell me what you’re doing to me?”

“I’m sorry, ma’am. But I’m not briefed to give you that information.”

The woman appeared to calm down suddenly. “So be it.”

Well, he thought, that was surprisingly easy.

The woman raised her right hand. A ball of white light formed in it, which she brought crashing down on the force field. It collapsed instantly, allowing her to pounce on the terrified crewman.

“Now the tables have turned, eh?” she taunted, pulling him inside the cell and slamming him against the wall. “You should have been more careful.”

“How... how did you do that?” he gasped.

The woman laughed mockingly. “Typical ignorant Celeran. The Holy Sisters of the Fifth Star Order have telekinetic powers... didn’t you know that?”

Right... so that was why he’s heard of them. The crewman did his best to struggle against the infuriated nun, but she was incredibly strong. “Please...” he begged. “Be reasonable!”

“Tell me what you’ve been doing to me,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “Tell me what you’re up to.”

“I... don’t know!” the crewman replied.

Her grip tightened. “Tell me.”

“I’m telling the truth!” he insisted. “I don’t know what we’re doing all the way out here. It’s top secret. Some sort of government business. That’s all I know, I swear!”

The woman paused. He wasn’t lying.

She let go, and he staggered towards the exit. “You’re letting me go?”

“Actually,” she said calmly, “not just yet.”

A much smaller energy bolt shot from her hand, and hit the crewman in the chest. He instantly lost consciousness and dropped to the floor.

The Holy Sister shook her head, stepped over him, and quietly slipped out of the cell.

The chief engineer studied the duty roster. “Okay... Cadet Cusp, you’re being transferred to Maintenance Team B.”

“A... actually, sir,” the cadet said meekly, raising his hand, “my surname is Qusp, not Cusp...”

“Whatever. Team B, I want you to take a look at the temperature controls on Deck Six. I’ve been getting complaints from some of the officers. Some of the lifts from the lower sections to the bridge are faulty. Switch them off and figure out what the problem is. Also, there are a few minor glitches in the sewage system...”

This remark provoked groans from most of Team B. The chief engineer continued. “I’m sure somebody will be delighted to take a look at that.”

Cadet Zerryn Qusp, the newest member of the maintenance section, shuddered at the thought. Still, it was his first day on Team B. Surely, they wouldn’t have him negotiating the ship’s extensive sewage system on his first day...

Ten minutes later, Zerryn was dressed in a bio-safety suit, crawling on his elbows through a particularly unpleasant overflow junction. Bastards.

“Wow! Is this a real spaceship?”

Commander Dekka nodded in mild confusion. Usually, people weren’t quite this amenable after being abducted.

The Ulaani girl sat patiently in her cell, smiling. She was quite short, dark skinned, with tightly braided black hair pulled back behind some sort of headband. Her dress was elaborate if minimal. Dekka did his best to ignore this last point and went back to looking over his data.

“And... it says here that you were on the southern continent when we picked you up,” he said, consciously avoiding the word ‘abducted’.

She nodded. “Mm-hmm! That’s where I live. The name of my country is Lufecia. Do you want to write that down?”

“Thank you...” the commander nodded.

The girl looked around in excitement. “Is this a Celeran spaceship?”

Dekka glanced up. Well... since her memory was going to be erased before she was returned, it didn’t matter if she knew. “Yes,” he said. “I’m afraid that a lot of our mission is classified though, so...”

“Oh, I understand, Mr Commander. It’s just so amazing to be on a Celeran ship. To think that I’d be the one to open diplomatic relations with the most powerful race in the galaxy!”

“Diplomatic relations?” Dekka raised an eyebrow.

“Yes! Oh, I’m sorry. I still haven’t introduced myself formally, have I?”

She stood up and bowed deeply. “My name is Princess Swanchita Swanchita, heir to the Kingdom of Lufecia. It’s an honour to make your acquaintance. And you are?”

Dekka gulped. A princess? Oh, God. This was bad, very bad...

“Would you... excuse me for a minute? I have to talk to someone.” Dekka turned and ran down the corridor as quickly as he could.

“Oh dear...” Swanchita sighed. “I think I must have offended him somehow. I need to work harder at my diplomacy skills...”

Captain Sulan was not a patient man. He wasn’t a particularly intelligent man either, but that wasn’t necessarily a barrier to success in the Celeran military. His leadership qualities were non-existent, but his crew still obeyed him without question, primarily because they knew he had some very powerful friends.

“Please explain yourself more clearly, commander. What is the problem?”

One curious feature of Sulan’s speech was that he almost never used contractions. He believed that this gave him a sense of authority, but most of his crew just assumed he didn’t know how to use them.

Commander Dekka tried to catch his breath. He’d just sprinted from Deck Twelve all the way to the bridge, unable to use the lifts because those damn maintenance teams had switched them off for some reason. “Sir... the Ulaani we took... she’s royalty. A princess. They’re going to realise she’s missing... they’re probably tearing the planet apart looking for her.”

The captain frowned. “Then this is indeed a most serious situation. What do you recommend?”

Dekka was used to doing the thinking on board this ship- the captain could barely pick out his clothes without assistance. “Well, sir... in my opinion, the best policy would be to turn around and head straight back to the Ulaani system. We can erase her memory, drop her off... nobody will be any the wiser.”

“What if they see our ship?” Sulan challenged.

“They’re not a spacefaring people, captain. It may not even have occurred to them that the princess could have left the planet.”

The captain shook his head. “No. If we go back there, we might tip them off. We cannot risk letting anybody find out about this mission. For the time being, start the tests on her. We might as well not waste this sample.”

“And then what do we do with her?”

Captain Sulan shrugged. “Oh... I will think of something.”

Dekka nodded. He severely doubted that.

“Hello?” Swanchita called “Anyone out there? Hello?”

She looked up and down the deserted corridor adjacent to the cell. When that man had left, he’d left some sort of force field up. Swanchita had decided that it was probably for her own protection- she was, after all, an important diplomatic emissary- but it was still annoying, because she couldn’t go anywhere. If anything, these people were being a little over-protective...

She thought she detected a movement at the end of the corridor.

“Ooh! Is someone there?” she called. “It’s just that there’s a force field and I can’t get out of this room, and...”

A dark green streak flashed before her eyes, as the figure sprinted towards the cell at lightning speed. There was a sudden flash, and the force field was no more.

Swanchita blinked. “Wow...”

The woman in front of her nodded in acknowledgement. She was tall, athletic, and wearing a strange green outfit that was completely unfamiliar to Swanchita.

“Are you hurt?” the woman asked.

Swanchita shook her head. “No, no, I’m fine! Thank you for asking, though.” It was an unusual question, Swanchita thought, but perhaps she was just being polite.

“Okay,” the woman said, scanning the corridor. “Then we need to escape. If you follow me, I...”

“Escape?” Swanchita interrupted. “What do you mean?”

“I mean escape! We have to leave now, find a way off the ship!”

The princess shook her head. “Oh no... I can’t leave. I’m waiting for that nice commander person to come back.”

The strange woman put a hand to her head. “I see... you have no idea what’s going on here, do you?”

“Well, of course I know what’s going on!” Swanchita insisted. “Some aliens took me onto their spaceship! It’s so exciting!”

“Don’t you get it?” the woman hissed. “You’ve been abducted! We both have! Now hurry up and follow me, okay?” She grabbed Swanchita’s arm and pulled her from the cell.

“But...” Swanchita protested, “shouldn’t we tell someone where we’re going?”

The woman groaned and dragged her along the corridor. This was, without a doubt, the stupidest person she had ever met.

A race like the Celerans didn’t get where they were by cutting corners. Their spacecraft in particular were ingeniously designed, with fully integrated report systems. Which meant that if, for example, an angry telekinetic nun overloaded two security fields, somebody on the bridge would know about it almost immediately.

The small panel marked “Security Breach” flashed urgently on the chief security officer’s console. He didn’t notice it, however, due to the eighteen other panels which were flashing on and off in a most alarming way.

“Captain!” he called. “I’m detecting something up ahead. It’s big... and it’s heavily armed.”

“What? Where is it?” Captain Sulan looked from screen to screen in confusion.

The security officer studied his displays carefully. “I can’t get a visual signal, sir. It’s... like it’s invisible. But I can tell it’s close... very close.”

As he spoke, something became visible on the screens. A succession of blue lines flashed into being, one by one, until the outline of a vessel was visible.

A ship, completely black, now illuminated by patterns of blue light across its hull.

“What the hell is it?” the captain demanded.

“I’ve never seen a ship like it,” Dekka commented. “Whoever owns it must have some kind of advanced cloaking technology... there’s no way a ship that size could have got this close without us detecting it.”

“Open a channel,” Sulan commanded. A bleep informed him that the channel was open, and he spoke.

“This is Captain Sulan of the Celeran Military Vessel Liberty. Please identify yourself.”

There was no reply.

“The vessel is still closing, sir,” one of the officers said.

Sulan leaned forward. “How many life signs are there?”

“I... I can’t tell, sir. We can’t scan while their shields are up.”

One of the strips of light at the front of the mystery vessel grew brighter. Before anybody could react, a blue beam streamed out of it, and the Liberty was rocked by a significant dose of refocused energy.

“We’re hit!” an officer cried. “Main engines are offline, and the primary cargo bay has been breached...”

“Why were our shields not up?” Sulan demanded.

Dekka hesitated before replying. “You... never gave the order to raise shields, captain.”

Sulan scratched his head. “Oh. Well, in that case...”

A second blast of energy hit the ship. Sulan fell out of his chair, and continued to issue orders from the floor.

“Raise the shields. And return fire, now!”

Dekka analysed one of the screens. “That second hit damaged one of our shield generators, so we’ll be operating on reduced power until...”

“Then just shoot them!” Sulan shouted. “Hit them with every weapon we have!”

“Firing quark displacement beam,” the weapons officer said.

The quark displacement beam was tough. It was one of the latest developments in Celeran military technology, and was illegal in almost every planetary system. It never failed.

Until today, when the crew of the Liberty watched their prized weapon bounce harmlessly off the black ship’s shielding.

“No effect, sir,” the weapons officer reported.

“Impossible!” Dekka gasped. “Captain... what are your orders?”

Sulan stared ahead at the viewscreen, now filled by the hostile ship.

“Enemy vessel is still closing,” an officer said. “It’s on a collision course.”

“Captain?” Dekka prompted.

“In here!” The green-suited woman pulled a panel from the wall, and pushed Swanchita inside. Lights were flashing, sirens were blaring and the whole ship was shaking in the way Celeran vessels usually didn’t.

“What’s happening?” Swanchita panicked as her companion joined her inside the alcove. “Is the ship being attacked?”

The woman seemed strangely unconcerned. “Quite possibly... although only a fool would attack a Celeran ship.”

“Then is the ship going to blow up?” Swanchita asked, frantic. “I saw this film once where there was this spaceship and then some other spaceships were shooting at it and then it all exploded and...”

“Just calm down!” the woman snapped. “Remember, this is a Celeran ship. They can withstand almost anything.”

Swanchita looked down, slightly embarrassed by her fit of panic. “Sorry.” She tried to change the subject. “Umm... may I ask about what you’re wearing?”

“What about it?” the woman asked nonchalantly.

“Well... it just looks so unusual. I’ve never seen anything like it before.”

The woman shrugged. “It comes with the job. I’m Sister Romilla Kerosene, of the Fifth Star Order. All Sisters wear this outfit.”

“Oh, I see!” Swanchita smiled. “You’re a nun! That’s why you’re dressed so conservatively!”

Romilla frowned. “There’s nothing wrong with the way I dress. And who are you to criticise? Look at you, you’re practically naked!”

“No I’m not!” Swanchita insisted. “Where I come from, everybody dresses like this. Actually, my mode of dress is a little more reserved than usual, but only because I’m a princess...”

Romilla raised an eyebrow. “Princess? I see...”

“Mm-hmm! I’m Princess Swanchita Swanchita, heir to the kingdom of Lufecia. That’s on Ulaani. Have you heard of it?”

“No,” Romilla said flatly. “We had a monarchy on my world once...”

Swanchita looked puzzled. “Had? Why, what happened to them?”

“They outlived their usefulness. We disposed of them.”

“Disposed of them? How did you... wait, don’t answer that.” Swanchita looked away. “I hope we’re going to be okay.”

Romilla shook her head. “Will you pay attention? I told you, we’re going to be fine.”

The alarm stopped abruptly, and was replaced by the captain’s voice.

“Attention, all crew! Abandon ship immediately!”

Swanchita’s eyes widened in horror. “What? Oh no!” She grabbed hold of Romilla. “I don’t want to die! What are we going to do?”

Romilla struggled against her. “Hey, get off me! Will you please leave me alone?”

“This is an emergency announcement. All crew, abandon ship immediately. I repeat...”

Zerryn looked around at the maze of ducts and conduits. It suddenly occurred to him that he couldn’t remember where the exit was.

“Uh oh.”

“All of the escape pods are loaded, captain,” Dekka reported as he took his seat behind Sulan.

“Are all of the crew accounted for?”

Dekka started reviewing his list. “I think so. Just let me double check the...”

“Launch escape pods!” Sulan commanded.

There was a deafening noise as the pod disengaged from the side of the ship.

“We will be back,” Sulan said coldly. “Whoever these people are, they will learn what happens when you make an enemy of the Celeran Republic. Today was not a defeat,” he continued, ignoring the fact that it was. “We will be victorious.”

“Preparing pods for hyperspace jump,” a crewman said.

“By the way, sir,” Dekka asked, “which of the escape pods did you place our two guests on?”

Sulan scratched his head. “Guests? Oh... them. To be honest, I kind of forgot about them. Never mind.”

Dekka’s response to this revelation was thankfully drowned out by the jump into hyperspace.

Swanchita and Romilla headed through the now deserted corridors. The crew had gone, and the captain’s announcement had been replaced by an automated proximity alarm.

“Is it really safe to be here?” Swanchita enquired. “I mean... if the crew all left, there has to be something very wrong, right?”

Romilla continued to scan the corridors. “You’re ignoring one important detail... Celerans are cowards. They always bail out at the first opportunity. Now, if I can only find out what’s triggering this proximity alarm...”

“You really don’t like the Celerans, do you?” Swanchita observed. “If you ask me, it’s a little bigoted. My daddy always said that...”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Romilla interrupted. “You don’t know the Celerans like I do. Now be quiet, I need to find... aha. A window.”

The pair approached the observation window, and for a while neither could tell what exactly was wrong with the picture.

Finally, Swanchita twigged. “Where are all the stars?”

“Oh my...” Romilla said under her breath. “Come on! We have to go!”

“Where?”

“Just follow me!” she demanded, doubling back down the corridor. “Run! Run like your life depends on it!”

Swanchita did her best to keep up. “But why?”

“Because your life may well depend on it. Whatever it is that’s setting off the proximity alarms, we just saw it. It was close enough to block out the stars. And if that thing hits us...”

Swanchita gasped. “We’ll explode?”

Romilla grunted. “If it’ll make you run any faster, then yes, we’ll explode!”

“Damn it, I really should have brought a map with me,” Zerryn mumbled as he staggered along the passageway. The bio-safety suit was surprisingly heavy and was seriously impairing his mobility... not that it really mattered anyway, since he was hopelessly lost in a maze which, to his knowledge, only had one exit. Any fear he that had felt upon hearing the evacuation alarm had now been replaced by sheer frustration... It wasn’t fair! You can bet if the captain was trapped in the sewage system, they’d come looking for him. Actually, the captain had become trapped in the sewage system on one occasion...

A massive impact threw him against the wall. About twenty different kinds of alarm began to wail, all of which were equally meaningless to him. Unless...

That’s it! he thought. All I have to do is follow the sound of the alarms, and they’ll lead me to the exit!

“Good work, soldier!” he congratulated himself, struggling to his feet. “Now that’s the type of thinking that gets you somewhere!”

Distant noise, the smell of smoke... and a strange, tight sensation in her right arm.

She had a headache too. She hated headaches- they stopped her from thinking clearly. Wasn’t she supposed to be doing something important right now? There was definitely something...

Headache. Ow.

And that sensation in her right arm again...

Romilla opened her eyes and looked over to her arm. Swanchita was knelt over it, applying a bandage.

“You... what are you doing?”

“Hi! You’re awake!” Swanchita beamed. “Well, when that big thing hit us, you fell over and then you went unconscious. And when I looked, you’d cut your arm, and there was blood which I didn’t like, but anyway, I found this first aid kit, so I...”

Romilla pulled her arm away. “Thank you. I might have sustained a minor injury, but I’m not so helpless that I need a princess to...” She stared at the dressing, neat and perfectly applied. “This... where did you learn how to put on a bandage so professionally?”

“Did I do it right?” Swanchita asked. “It’s just that it’s been a long time, but I used to be in Lufecia Woodland Girl Scouts, and...”

Romilla sighed. Of course. “You learned how to do this... in Girl Scouts?”

Swanchita nodded enthusiastically. “My first aid badge was the very first badge I got. Then I got my nature badge and my swimming badge, but I didn’t get my outdoor survival badge because daddy always made me take some guards with me, so they said it didn’t count...”

“Hey,” she smiled at Romilla, “were you in Girl Scouts? You must have hundreds of badges, right?”

Romilla pulled herself up. “They didn’t have Girl Scouts on my world.” She looked distant for a second, then continued. “Come on. We don’t know how much damage that impact did. We should get to the bridge and assess the situation.”

“Well now...” Romilla mused as she observed the readouts from the captain’s chair, “what kind of ship do you suppose would be able to effortlessly cripple a top of the range Celeran military vessel?”

“A really big one?” Swanchita suggested. “With lots of big guns?”

Romilla used the captain’s console to pull up some more data. “It was a rhetorical question, princess,” she sighed, “but you are partially right. From what I can tell, the ship that hit us was extraordinarily well armed, not to mention well shielded. They only suffered minor damage from the collision. Plus, it seems they have stealth technology of one kind or another...”

“But why would they deliberately ram another ship?”

“I can’t answer that definitively,” Romilla replied, “but it may have something to do with there being no crew on board. Since their shields are down, I was able to perform a life scan. There are no life forms on board that ship.”

“I see,” Swanchita nodded. “But weren’t they firing on us?”

Romilla stepped down from the captain’s chair. “It would appear so. I suppose a ship on auto-pilot could be set to automatically fire on any other vessel that got too close... but that still doesn’t answer the question as to why. Anyway, how are you doing with those internal scans?”

“Well... um...” Swanchita looked away, slightly embarrassed. “I could be doing very well, but I don’t know, since I... don’t know how to read Celeran writing. Sorry.”

“What? Well, why didn’t you just say that when I asked you to do the scans?” Romilla headed over to Swanchita’s console and took over.

“I just didn’t want to seem unhelpful,” Swanchita replied. “I mean, I would have done them, but...”

“Never mind,” Romilla interrupted. “We’re not alone on this ship. I’m picking up one... no, two... no, wait, definitely one other person on this ship.”

Swanchita leaned over to look at the readout, despite not being able to understand it. “Who?”

“I don’t know,” Romilla said, standing up. She cracked her knuckles. “But I suspect that one of the Celerans must have remained behind.”

“So... what do we do now?”

Romilla picked up a portable scanner. “Find some weapons. We’re going to take a prisoner, princess.”

It had been a long trek, but he knew he was almost there. The noise was getting louder... almost deafening. Just around the next corner... this had to be it...

Zerryn turned the corner, and saw it.

An alarm, attached to one of the outlet pipes.

“What?” Zerryn cried in fury. “What sort of idiot installs an alarm in the sewage system?” He collapsed against the wall. “That’s it. I’m never going to get out of here.”

He hurtled forwards as the wall behind him exploded. 

“Eeew!” he heard a female voice say. “Is this a sewage pipe?”

“Who... who’s there?” he asked, turning his head. He was greeted by the sight of a green-clad nun pointing a vicious-looking automatic weapon in his direction. 

“Hello, Celeran,” Romilla said through a barely sane grin. “Care to explain what you’re doing crawling around the drainage system?”

Zerryn pulled his helmet off. “I... I got lost. Do you know what set off all these alarms?”

“We’re asking the questions here, Celeran!” Romilla said dismissively. “Do you really expect us to believe that one of the Celeran military’s highly trained soldiers remained behind because he got lost? What are you really up to?”

“I’m not a highly trained soldier!” Zerryn protested. “I’m an engineering cadet! I’ve only been in the military for two months, and I have no idea what’s going on, okay?”

Romilla snorted. “Protest all you want. You’ll get no sympathy from us.”

“Hi!” Swanchita smiled, crouching down to greet him. “I’m Swanchita! It’s so nice to meet you! What’s your name?”

“I can’t believe they abandoned me...”

“Stop your whining!” Romilla commanded, looking over her shoulder. She was bringing up the front, with Zerryn in the middle and Swanchita at the back. “You’re lucky we didn’t just kill you.”

“Kill me? Why? I don’t get it, just what have I done to make you hate me so much?”

Romilla stopped and turned. “Your vessel kidnapped me! They also kidnapped her, so don’t play innocent.”

Zerryn looked genuinely confused. “Kidnap? No way... I mean, that’s impossible. Why would a Celeran ship kidnap a couple of foreigners? It doesn’t make sense!”

“Well, maybe it had something to do with all the weird medical tests they were performing on me... without prior consent, I might add! Obviously part of some devious, top-secret Celeran conspiracy...”

Swanchita raised her hand. “But... um... if it was all a top-secret conspiracy, and Mr Qusp here is only a cadet, then surely he wouldn’t know anything about it. Surely they wouldn’t give top-secret information to just anyone.”

Zerryn sighed. “Well... it’s true that I wasn’t told very much about this mission. But... come on, we’re Celerans! The good guys! We don’t go around abducting people... do we?”

He looked at the others for support. Swanchita just looked at him blankly, while Romilla’s opinion was all too evident from her expression.

“Listen,” she said calmly. “Until I discover otherwise, I’m going to assume you’re a part of this conspiracy. After all, it was your decision to join the military, so you have to accept some responsibility.”

“It was not my decision!” Zerryn insisted. “We have conscription on Celera! I had to join! I didn’t want to be a part of the army, I just wanted to be an engineer! I’m a pacifist, damn it!”

Romilla turned her back on him, and continued to walk. “Princess,” she said casually, “if he tries to escape, shoot him.”

Swanchita looked down gingerly at the small weapon in her hands. She had never fired a weapon before, and didn’t intend to start now. “Actually...” she began, “is that necessary? I’m starting to feel really sorry for him. As it happens, I’m a pacifist too, and he hasn’t done anything to threaten us...”

“Yeah,” Zerryn nodded. “Some support at last. Thank you.”

“Plus, anybody who gets lost in a sewage system obviously isn’t competent enough to have any real responsibility, right? I mean, look at him. Would you leave him in charge of anything?”

“Well...” Zerryn sighed, “I suppose I should still be grateful...”

There was a distinct rumbling noise. Romilla opened her mouth to say something, but she was cut off by the sound of an explosion. Swanchita and Zerryn were both knocked off their feet by the shockwave. 

“What the hell was that?” Romilla demanded. Zerryn was already up and checking a data screen mounted on the wall.

“Um... I’m afraid that explosion was one of the main oxygen tanks going up. Fire suppression mustn’t be working... uh oh.”

“What? What does ‘uh oh’ mean?” Romilla urged.

He scrolled through more data. “The blast seems to have fried the life support system. Oxygen’s been cut off.”

“No! This is awful!” Swanchita exclaimed.

Romilla cocked her weapon and swung it in Zerryn’s direction. “I bet we’d survive for longer if there were only two of us...”

“Wait! Hold on a minute!” Zerryn protested. “This is a big ship... and we’re only three people. It’ll be hours before the air runs out.”

Romilla thought for a while, then nodded. “Yes. In the meantime, we should think about evacuating. Are there any escape pods left?”

Zerryn turned back to the screen. “No... but I am reading a small vessel of some kind in the hangar. Looks pretty old...”

“My shuttle!” Romilla exclaimed, delighted. “My beautiful shuttle! Okay, we can escape in that...” The scanner in her hand beeped. “What the hell...”

“What is it?” Swanchita asked.

She studied the item, puzzled. “I think I’m picking up another life form again. I think... but the reading is incredibly vague. There’s no way I’d be able to pinpoint it.”

Her hand tensed as Zerryn tried to take the scanner. He relented, and tried a different approach.

“Um... may I take a look? I think I know how to isolate life signs.”

“Very well.” She grudgingly handed the scanner over to the cadet, who began furiously altering the parameters. 

“Now... if I just block out our life signs, and turn it up to maximum sensitivity... here we go.” He displayed the result- a few fluctuations on an otherwise flat background. “Doesn’t look like much. A signal that flat has to be coming from someone in biostasis.”

“Biostasis?” Swanchita echoed. “You mean frozen?”

He nodded. “In a manner of speaking, yes. I had no idea we were carrying anyone in stasis, though.”

“Are we going to get them?” Swanchita asked, concerned. “We can’t just leave them here.”

Romilla took the scanner back from Zerryn. “I suppose you’re right. Can we pinpoint their location?”

Zerryn shrugged. “We don’t need to. There’s only one place on the ship that has biostasis pods.”

The Science Deck was strictly off-limits to most people, but fortunately the doors couldn’t argue with a well-aimed energy blast, courtesy of Romilla.

“So, where are the stasis thingies?” Swanchita asked, looking around at the strange equipment.

“Not sure,” Zerryn replied, moving ahead. “I’ve never been up here before.” He looked to Romilla. “Because I’m just a cadet, and therefore not party to any weird conspiracies.”

Romilla ignored him and moved towards a large metal door with a round window. There was light emanating from the inside, and what could just have been the outline of a figure.

“Hey...” she called. “Is this it?”

Zerryn darted over. “That must be it! Wait, let me see if I can make out who’s in there...” He tapped a few commands into the control panel, increasing the light from inside. He then pressed his face against the glass, and let out of whoop of joy. “Oh my God... I don’t believe it!”

“Ooh! Who is it? Who’s in there?” Swanchita urged, clearly excited.

Zerryn looked back, beaming. “A catgirl.”

“A what?”

“I forgot... they’re kept in stasis before they’re delivered... but I had no idea there was one on this ship! They’re specially bred... and highly sought after! I can’t believe I found one!”

Romilla shook her head and took a step back. Swanchita was still confused.

“Wait, so is it a girl or a cat? I don’t get it.”

Zerryn paused. He had to be careful with his description. “A girl. More or less. But they’re created in labs on Celera, and genetically programmed so that they’re completely obedient to one person. But they’re kind of expensive, so not many people have them. The upper classes back on Celera use them as sla... um... servants.”

Romilla stepped between Zerryn and Swanchita. “They’re slaves,” she said. “Pure and simple. I’ve heard all about them, and how the Celerans try to justify their use...”

“Hey!” Zerryn objected. “They’re not slaves! We don’t have slavery on Celera! They’re programmed to be obedient, so it doesn’t count as slavery!”

“Oh, I see,” Romilla said mockingly. “So if I was to hypnotise you into obeying me, that wouldn’t be slavery either, I suppose.”

“That’s different!” Zerryn countered. “We created the catgirls! If it weren’t for us, they wouldn’t exist! They owe us!”

Romilla pushed him away. “And they say science has no compassion. What do you think, princess?”

Swanchita scratched her head. “Well, I think it all sounds horrible... but it doesn’t matter, because we’re going to free her! How do we get her out?”

The two women began studying the controls. “It has to be one of these buttons...”

“Wait!” Zerryn called. “You shouldn’t do that! If you...”

“Stay out of this!” Romilla responded. “How dare you try to excuse the use of sentient beings as slaves! You’d sooner condemn this poor, innocent soul to a life of enforced debauchery than you’d let her live one moment as a free spirit! To hell with your distorted Celeran values! Now stand aside and let us free her!”

Exasperated, Zerryn decided to give it one more try. “I was only going to tell you that...”

“Silence!” the nun commanded. She looked back at Swanchita. “Any luck?”

“Well, I thought if I just pressed enough of these buttons, it’s bound to open eventually,” Swanchita smiled. “Poor little thing, stuck in there... I can’t wait to get her out.”

There was a hiss. Swanchita and Romilla looked into the chamber, and saw gas seeping in, engulfing the occupant. There was a high-pitched mechanical whine, and the door slid open.

“We did it!” Swanchita cheered.

Romilla smiled to herself. “Come forth, lost soul. You’re free.” It was times like this that reinforced her faith.

Air. The cool air in her lungs.

Light. Too much light. She shielded her eyes.

Compulsion. Something she needed, needed more than anything else. She moved forward. She had to find it. She couldn’t bear to be without it. But until she found it, she wouldn’t know what it was.

She fell. She was so weak... 

She stopped falling. Somebody had caught her. She opened her eyes, still struggling against the light...

A face smiled down at her. In an instant, she knew it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, or would ever see. A warm, welcoming sensation of certainty flowed through her body. She could relax now. This was the one.

Swanchita did her best to elicit a response from the diminutive catgirl collapsed in her arms. There was no denying her appeal- long orange hair, parted slightly on both sides by two catlike ears; pale, almost completely white skin, and a long, most likely highly impractical orange tail. Romilla would have described her mode of dress as scandalously minimal; Swanchita would have described it as nothing out of the ordinary.

“Hello?” Swanchita called softly. “Miss Catgirl? Are you okay?”

“Yes...” the catgirl said, staring back at Swanchita with adoring eyes. “What is your name?”

“Oh, I’m Princess Swanchita Swanchita of Lufecia. But you can just call me Swanchita, because...”

Despite her weakened state, the catgirl managed a little gasp of excitement. “Princess? Oh...” Her eyes closed, and her head fell into Swanchita’s lap.

“What? What is it?” Swanchita prompted. 

The catgirl took a few moments to regain her composure, then sat upright opposite the princess. She bowed her head. “Princess Swanchita Swanchita of Lufecia, I humbly submit my services to you, now and forever.”

Romilla stepped forward. “Wait... this isn’t right! Why is she being subservient? We freed her!” She knelt down beside the catgirl. “You don’t have to obey her! You’re free!”

The catgirl looked back, uncomprehending.

“That’s right!” Swanchita nodded. “You don’t have to do what I say. We let you out so that you could do what you wanted to do!”

The catgirl paused for a while longer, then embraced Swanchita, delighted.

“Oh! How generous of you! My princess is such a caring, benevolent soul! It’s going to be such a pleasure serving you, mistress!”

“Mistress?” Swanchita echoed. “Oh... this isn’t right at all. Did we wake her up wrong?”

Zerryn stood a few feet away, his arms folded. “No, you woke her up exactly like she was supposed to be woken up... by her owner!”

“What?”

“That pod contained a gas, which was released the moment you gave the command to open. The gas was designed to activate her obedience programming, and make her latch onto the first person she saw.”

Romilla tensed. “You... knew this would happen?”

“Yes, I did. I also tried to warn you... twice... but you didn’t listen. Given enough time, I probably could have worked out how to open the pod without releasing the gas... but what do you care? You don’t need help from an ignorant Celeran, do you?”

Swanchita looked at her delighted companion, then up at Zerryn. “And there’s nothing we can do about it?”

“Not that I’m aware of, no.”

“Well...” Swanchita smiled at the catgirl, who responded with a joyous squeal. “At least she seems happy.”

“Of course she seems happy,” Romilla hissed. “She’s programmed to be happy. She doesn’t have any choice in the matter!” She turned away, furious. “I cannot condone this.”

Swanchita stood up. The catgirl immediately stood up with her. “Well, either way, we’ll just have to deal with it. I suppose she’s my responsibility now.”

Romilla sighed wearily. “Okay. Let’s just get to my shuttle.”

“It’s probably locked down,” Zerryn commented. “If you want to release it, you’ll have to do it from the bridge.”

Romilla stood at the bridge security console, working. Zerryn was nearby: close enough to supervise her progress, but leaving enough distance to ensure his personal safety. Swanchita sat in the tactical officer’s chair, the catgirl crouched happily beside her.

“Do you have a name?” Swanchita asked.

The catgirl thought. “No... I don’t think so, mistress.”

Zerryn looked over his shoulder. “Catgirls are usually named by their owners.”

“Well, isn’t that sweet?” Romilla said mockingly.

“You should probably name her,” Zerryn suggested, ignoring Romilla. “Unless you want to keep calling her Catgirl.”

“Hmm... you’ve got a point there,” Swanchita nodded. “But what can I call her? I’m not very good at thinking of names... Let’s see... When I was little, I had a cat called Peipei...”

Zerryn shrugged. “That sounds okay.”

She looked down at the catgirl. “What do you think of it?”

“Oh... any name you choose for me is perfect, mistress!” came the reply.

“Then Peipei it is!” Swanchita announced. “Although, now that I think about it, my Peipei was a boy cat...”

Romilla stood up. “Excellent. My shuttle is free to leave. Maybe I should just check where we are first...”

She walked over to the navigation console and glanced at the display, then looked at Zerryn. “What’s wrong with this?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he replied, heading over to join her. “I checked it just a minute ago, it’s fine.”

“I don’t recognise our position,” Romilla continued. “Just... where are we?”

Zerryn checked the display again. “Well... this is a pretty remote section of the galaxy...”

“How remote?” Swanchita cut in. “I have to get back to my planet! How far away is it?”

“I don’t know exactly where your planet is,” Romilla sighed, “but I assume you’re from a region of space close to where I was abducted. If that’s the case, then it will take my shuttle a little over ten years to get there.”

“T... ten years?” Swanchita stammered, horrified. “I can’t be away from home for ten years! I have duties, obligations... I have to get married! How did we get so far away?”

Zerryn stepped back. “This ship is the latest in Celeran technology. It can cover huge distances in practically no time at all. Unfortunately...” He trailed off, suddenly realising the situation. “Damn it! How am I gonna get back to Celera?”

Romilla slammed her fist down on the console. “We’re screwed! My shuttle probably couldn’t even make it to the nearest inhabited planet without running out of air! This is your fault!” she growled, pointing at Zerryn.

“Aw, stop blaming everything on me!” Zerryn yelled. “This has nothing to do with me, and you know it. If you want to blame anything, why don’t you blame that ship out there?”

Swanchita gasped. “That ship... Hey! Why don’t we use that ship to get us home? Sister Romilla... you said there was nobody on it, and it wasn’t damaged very much when it hit us. Does it have fast engines?”

Romilla was already scanning the other ship. “Yes... not nearly as impressive as this ship’s, but ten times faster than mine. The shields are down, so we can just fly on over in my shuttle. Oh, and look at those weapons...”

“But that’s the ship that attacked us!” Zerryn protested. “We can’t use that!”

“Fine,” Romilla shrugged. “We’ll leave you behind.”

“No, I just meant... never mind. What’s the computer system like? Is it working?”

Romilla paused. “I’m not detecting one. Just a basic auto-pilot system.”

Zerryn began to pace. “Then that’s a problem. A ship that size needs a computer system, especially with only four people on board... Hey, I know! This ship probably has a spare one somewhere. They were talking about upgrading...”

Romilla gave a thin smile. “Then it’s decided. That vessel will transport us home.” She called up an image of the ship on the main screen.

Swanchita and Peipei joined Romilla in staring up at the picture. A black outline, almost invisible against the backdrop of space, with symmetrical patterns of bright blue light zigzagging across the hull.

“It looks scary...” Swanchita observed.

“Imposing, yes, but you can’t fault the design,” Romilla said. “Just look at it. I never dreamed I’d be flying a ship like that. Of course, I’ll never part with my beautiful shuttle. I love that little ship like no other.”

“I’m not usually one to criticise, but it’s a little cramped, isn’t it?” Swanchita complained. 

She, Zerryn and Peipei were wedged into the back of Romilla’s shuttle on the journey over to the black ship. It was clearly designed for one person only. Zerryn was seated in the entrance to the airlock, studying the packaging on the computer system he’d appropriated from the Liberty. The only actual seat in the back was taken up by Swanchita and Peipei: this meant Peipei had to sit on Swanchita’s lap, but the catgirl certainly wasn’t complaining.

Romilla could be heard laughing from the cockpit. “A little too quaint for your tastes, princess? Don’t be fooled... this is a fine ship. It’s been with me since the very start of my quest.”

“What quest is that?” Swanchita asked.

“Ah, I suppose you wouldn’t know. All of the Sisters in my Order must prove themselves on a mission into the unknown. That’s what I was doing... until those Celerans kidnapped me.”

Swanchita leaned closer to the cockpit. “It sounds exciting. What do you do?”

“Depends on what we find. We try to help people, to fight injustice. It aids our understanding of the universe. I suppose this situation is just the newest phase of my quest.”

Zerryn wasn’t listening. He was, however, growing more and more excited about the computer system. “Wow... fully interactive. With an integrated, realistic user interface. It’s called ‘Sanction OS’. Must be a new manufacturer...”

The shuttle’s engines made an unpleasant creaking sound, and a violent jolt knocked Swanchita and Peipei from their seat.

“Sorry!” Romilla called. “I’ve been meaning to get these gears looked at. Everyone alright back there?”

Peipei looked up at Swanchita, sprawled on top of her, and gave a coy giggle. “I know I am...”

“We’re fine,” Swanchita replied, picking herself up. “Don’t worry about it!”

“Unbelievable...” Zerryn muttered, shaking his head. “This ship’s an antique. Should’ve been broken up years ago... hey!”

The airlock door slammed down in front of Zerryn, trapping him in the tiny cubicle. He hammered on the glass, despite the fact he knew it was soundproof. 

“What’s happening? Hey! Why am I in the airlock here?”

A tiny speaker carried Romilla’s reply. “Mr Qusp... you can insult me, my family, even my people... But one more comment about my beautiful shuttle, and I’ll inject you into space.”

Zerryn looked powerlessly up at the speaker. “Okay. Romilla, I’m very sorry I insulted your ship.”

“Good,” Romilla said flatly.

“Will you let me out of the airlock now?”

“No.”

“Are you sure this is the bridge?”

“Yes, princess. I’m just looking for the lights.”

“Okay... wow, it’s so dark. Don’t go wandering off now, Peipei. Keep hold of me.”

“Don’t worry, mistress, I will.”

The lights flickered on. Swanchita, Romilla, Zerryn and Peipei stood at the centre of a large, somewhat minimalist bridge. The fittings were dusty, and only some of the screens seemed to be operational, but it was still an impressive sight.

Romilla looked around her. “This is it. Our ship.”

“It’s nice,” Swanchita nodded. “Do we know what it’s called yet?”

“The name on the ID signal is ‘505’. Not much of a name, but it’ll suffice.”

“We should give it a better name,” Zerryn suggested. “Like Black Shadow. Or Star Destroyer. Or...”

Romilla looked up, irritated. “Shut up. Shouldn’t you be installing that computer?”

Zerryn shrugged. “Fine, I’ll... hey! What are you, captain? I don’t have to take orders from you.”

“Oh, Zerryn... just install the computer, please,” Swanchita said. “But he does have a point. Who gets to be the captain?”

Romilla sighed. “If we must have a captain, then I suppose... well, I don’t know how to say this without sounding conceited, but I...”

“Ooh! Can I be captain?” Swanchita asked, excited. “Please? I always wanted to be a spaceship captain!”

Peipei nodded with enthusiasm. “Yes! You’ll make a wonderful captain, mistress!”

“Now... just a moment, princess,” Romilla replied. “I’m not sure if you realise what being a captain entails. I’ve run my own ship for two years, and I think I’m rather more qualified for the position of captain than you are.”

“Well,” Zerryn smiled, looking up from the computer console, “I think we should vote on it.”

Romilla looked hesitant. “Well... okay. But...”

“Great!” Swanchita exclaimed. “I vote for me! Princess Swanchita, Space Captain!”

“I vote for me,” Romilla said coldly.

Swanchita looked down at Peipei. “And who do you vote for, Peipei?”

“For you, of course!” Peipei beamed.

“Fine, fine,” Romilla grumbled. “And you, Celeran? Looks like you have a decisive vote, not that it matters. You’re obviously going to vote for the princess.”

Zerryn shook his head, and smiled. “Wrong, actually.”

Romilla’s eyes widened. “Then... Well, maybe I underestimated you. After all I’ve done, you’re voting for me?”

“No,” he said calmly, turning back to the computer. “I’m voting for me.”

“But... that’s pointless!” Romilla protested. “You know there’s no way you can win, so why vote for yourself?”

“It didn’t stop you, did it?”

Romilla put a hand to her head. “Listen... I just don’t feel that the princess has the right mentality to...” She was interrupted by giggling.

Swanchita was seated in the captain’s chair, with Peipei on the armrest. “Full speed ahead!” Swanchita laughed. “Take us into hyperspace, Lieutenant Peipei!”

“Yes, captain!” Peipei grinned, saluting. “Um... mistress? Is that an actual order?”

“No, no, I was just... practising and stuff,” Swanchita smiled. “I mean, I don’t even know what hyperspace is. Hey, Sister Romilla? What’s hyperspace? Is it good?”

Romilla just shook her head, resigned to the situation. “This ship is doomed.”

Captain’s Log

Standard Galactic Date 7052:074

“I’m the captain! Go me!”

Swanchita strode out of her ready room, grinning. “What’s our status, Commander Romilla?”

“Commander?” Romilla echoed. “Since when?”

“Well, I thought I should give everybody here a rank. You’re my First Officer, because you know so much about flying and spaceships and things.”

“What about me?” Zerryn asked impatiently. “What’s my rank?”

“You already have a rank, silly!” Swanchita replied. “You told me, you were a cadet on that other ship. I didn’t think you’d want to change it, so...”

He groaned. “Still a cadet. Thanks.”

Swanchita continued. “And of course, little Peipei gets to be a lieutenant!”

Peipei squealed in delight. “Thank you so much, mistress! You’re so kind and...”

“Wait a sec!” Zerryn objected. “I’m outranked by her? She’s a catgirl! What has she done to merit the position of lieutenant?”

Swanchita frowned, and spoke with an unusual amount of authority. “Peipei’s just as much a part of this crew as anyone else. I happen to feel that giving her some responsibility is the best way to let her explore her own potential.”

“What potential? She doesn’t have any... she isn’t programmed to! I know more about catgirls than anyone else here, and I know for a fact that they only do what’s within their programming!”

“That’s enough, cadet!” Swanchita put a protective hand on Peipei’s shoulder. “My daddy always said that you should never judge people without getting to know them first.”

Romilla nodded. “Leave the catgirl alone, you ignorant Celeran scum.”

“That goes for you too,” Swanchita continued, turning to Romilla. “I don’t want any fighting on this ship. Stop judging him on the basis of his people.”

There was a pause. Romilla raised an eyebrow, and half-smiled. “Yes, captain. You’re surprisingly good at this, you know.”

“Thanks! I watch a lot of TV,” Swanchita smiled. “Now, is our computer ready?”

Zerryn nodded, and tapped some commands into the nearby console. “It’s all connected. I’m loading it now. It was tricky... it looks like this ship never had an advanced computer system, so not everything was compatible. The memory was a problem too. I’ve had to compress one or two elements of the operating system... but I don’t think it’ll make much difference.”

The main screen flashed on, with a message.

WELCOME TO SANCTION OS, THE NEW STANDARD IN INTERACTIVE SHIP-WIDE COMPUTER SYSTEMS. PLEASE WAIT WHILE THE DATA IS LOADING...

“Is it working?” Swanchita asked.

“Looks like it,” Zerryn smiled.

SANCTION OS OFFERS YOU A UNIQUE RANGE OF FEATURES, FOREMOST OF WHICH IS THE FRIENDLY AND ATTRACTIVE SYSTEM PERSONIFICATION.

Some still pictures of a woman appeared on the screen. She was a redhead; tall and almost impossibly curvaceous. On her head was a futuristic helmet and visor, complete with built-in microphone, and she wore a tight-fitting black bodysuit with metallic silver highlights. Zerryn in particular was captivated by these images.

“Wow... just look at her! She’s gorgeous! Oh, I can’t wait to...”

Romilla coughed noisily.

“Um... get to know her as a person in her own right.”

THE VOICE AND DISPOSITION OF THE PERSONIFICATION CAN BE ADJUSTED TO SUIT YOUR PERSONAL TA... 

ERROR. UNABLE TO LOCATE FOLDER SANCTIONOS/SYSTEM/DATA/IMA309. ABORT?/RETRY?/IGNORE?

Zerryn grumbled in frustration. “Sorry. This happens sometimes when systems aren’t quite compatible. I’ll just keep pressing Ignore until it finishes.”

Fifty-one Ignores later, the system finally reported that loading was complete. Zerryn heaved a sigh of relief and sat down. “At last. Let’s see her.”

The Welcome screen appeared, accompanied by another message.

SOME OF THE DATA REQUIRED FOR THIS SYSTEM IS COMPRESSED OR MISSING. AS A RESULT, SOME OF THE FEATURES MAY NOT FUNCTION AS INTENDED.

“Just start, will you?” Zerryn hit another key. “Start, so I can see that cute...”

He paused. A figure faded into view. 

“That’s her?” Zerryn gasped.

“It does... kind of look like her,” Peipei shrugged.

“She’ll do,” Romilla said, uninterested.

“Ooh!” Swanchita exclaimed. “She’s so... little!”

On the screen was, more or less, the woman from the pictures. Except her head was much larger, her body was much smaller, and her eyes accounted for around half the height of her face. The phrase ‘super-deformed’ seemed very appropriate indeed.

“Hi, everyone!” the girl exclaimed in a high-pitched voice. “It’s a pleasure to meet you! I’m Sanction, your operating system! May I be of assistance?”

“Not to me.” Zerryn sighed.

Romilla sat across from Swanchita in the ready room. Peipei stood looking out of the window.

“I’ve been assessing the engine capacity,” Romilla began, “and it’s not bad. But you should realise... it may still take more than a year to reach your home planet. This is a fairly old ship.”

Swanchita sighed. “I see. Well, I’m sure Ilivo’s out looking for me by now.”

“Who?”

“Ilivo... he’s my prince,” Swanchita smiled. “We’re engaged. And where I come from, a groom would never rest until he found his lost bride. It’s a tradition.” She clasped her hands together in joy. “He’s just so gallant and dashing... oh, I bet he’s already on his mission to find me!”

Romilla thought she saw Peipei’s ears prick up, just for a second. “I see... well, I wish you the best of luck in reaching him. On another matter, I still need to check the weapons and targeting sensors. Would you object to my indulging in a little target practice?”

Swanchita shrugged. “Go right ahead.”

Romilla stood, clearly eager to begin. “Okay. Hey, kid!” she called to Peipei. “Want to watch? I guarantee a spectacular display.”

Peipei turned, and nodded. “I’d love to. Unless you need me here, mistress.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Swanchita replied. “You two go off and have fun!”

“Thank you, mistress!” Peipei skipped over to Romilla, and the pair left the room. Swanchita reclined in her chair, and closed her eyes.

“Ilivo, please don’t forget about me...”

“May I ask you a question?” Romilla said as she studied the weapons console.

“Of course, Sister Romilla,” Peipei nodded.

Romilla looked the catgirl in the eyes. “I know that catgirls can be very protective of their owners. Does the fact that the princess is engaged upset you?”

Peipei tilted her head to one side. “No. Should it?”

“I don’t know,” Romilla replied. “I just wondered if it did.”

“My mistress is clearly very happy that she’s engaged, and that makes me happy too,” Peipei smiled. “Because... I love her dearly.”

“And the fact that she loves somebody else... It doesn’t make you jealous?” Romilla continued. “Most people would be jealous.”

Peipei stared back, not really comprehending. “How very odd.”

Romilla smiled to herself, and went back to her console. “Know what? In a strange sort of way, I envy you. Jealousy is a sin... and such a burden on the mind. I’ve tried so hard to repress it, but it’s not easy. And you don’t feel it at all, do you? Tell me, isn’t there anything you worry about? Anything you fear?”

Peipei shook her head decisively, then paused. “Well... perhaps one thing. I worry that... well, maybe I won’t be able to live up to my mistress’ expectations of me. I’m happy just to serve her, but she’s given me so many other responsibilities. I don’t want to disappoint her.”

“Aw, is that all you’re worried about?” Romilla moved away from the console and started examining some of the nearby screens. “You know, she might be a bit weird, but for royalty, she’s surprisingly amicable. She doesn’t expect anything of you. Neither do I. Just do your best. Now... for some fun! Computer!”

“Here!” Sanction’s image appeared on the screens. 

“Computer, you see that ship out there? The Celeran one?”

Sanction nodded. “Mm-hmm. What about it?”

Swanchita’s daydreaming was interrupted by a blue flash from the window, followed by the low rumbling of a nearby shockwave. She leapt from her chair and darted onto the bridge.

“What was that? What just happened?”

Romilla was laughing triumphantly, whilst Peipei was jumping up and down, ecstatic. Both were looking up at the main screen.

“Hey, princess,” Romilla beckoned. “Come and look at this. Computer!”

Sanction flashed onto the screen, grinning. “Yeah?”

“Give us a replay.”

“Coming up!” Sanction was replaced by a static image of the Liberty, dead in space.

Romilla turned back to Swanchita. “Now, look what happened when I turned this ship’s weapons up to maximum output.”

A blue beam engulfed the Liberty. There was a flash. When the light faded, there was no trace of the ship.

Swanchita nodded, suitably convinced. “That’s impressive...”

Sanction returned to the screen. “Did you see it go boom? Did you see?” The computer sprite started giggling, lost in her own world. “Ooh... that was so cool!” She jumped closer, so that her face took up the entire screen. “Can we blow something else up now?”

“Later,” Romilla replied. “Right now, I want you to scan the area where that ship used to be. Any debris?”

“No debris. The ship was completely ionised. I was good, wasn’t I?”

Zerryn hurtled onto the bridge, breathless. “Guys, you won’t believe this! I was just looking out of the window at the Liberty, and it...”

“Exploded?” Romilla guessed.

He nodded. “You saw it too?”

“I pulled the trigger,” she said.

“I fired the cannon!” Sanction added.

“I helped too!” beamed Peipei.

Zerryn clutched his head. “Are you nuts? You can’t just blow up Celeran ships! Do you have any idea what the Celeran military do to people who blow up our ships?”

“I had to destroy it,” Romilla said calmly. “If I hadn’t, your friends would have been back to find out what happened. They’d have looked at the flight recorder and seen this ship. Then the whole damn Celeran military would have been after us. This way, there’s no evidence.”

“Oh...” Peipei nodded. “So that’s why we blew up the ship!”

Sanction scratched her head. “I think I understand now!”

“Well, I knew anyway,” Swanchita lied. “But putting that aside, I was surprised how powerful those weapons were. I wonder why anybody would just abandon a ship this powerful...”

“Maybe because half of the systems are shot to pieces,” Zerryn sighed. “I’ve just been down to the lower decks, and they don’t seem to be connected to the communication system. This whole ship could do with an overhaul...”

Swanchita nodded. “Yes, well... you’re an engineer, right? I’m sure you could fix the problem.”

“But I’m only a trainee!” he protested. “And I...”

“Now, now, Mr Qusp,” Swanchita persisted. “We all have to pull our weight on this ship. There’s a lot to be done!”

He folded his arms and frowned. “Oh, I see. I have to go and do all the work, while the rest of you sit up here taking pot shots.”

Swanchita rolled her eyes. “Oh, very well. If you really want some help... Peipei!”

Peipei saluted. “Yes, mistress?”

“Go and supervise him.”

Zerryn’s eyebrows nearly jumped off his face. “What?”

“I wonder if I’ll ever get back to Celera...” 

Zerryn sat next to an open wall panel, installing a communication module. “This is the worst day of my life. Stuck on some old ship with messed-up computer, a nun who wants to kill me, a princess who picked up her captaining skills from TV, and a...”

He over his shoulder at Peipei, who was standing over him and watching his every move.

“You know, I am capable of doing this by myself,” he said.

“I know,” the catgirl replied. “But mistress ordered me to supervise you, and that’s what I’m doing.”

He groaned. “I don’t work well when other people are watching. Couldn’t you just... supervise from over there?”

“Hmm... I think I can supervise you more efficiently if I just stand here.”

“Okay...” Zerryn said, exasperated. “Why don’t you help me out? I’m sure Swanchita would appreciate that, wouldn’t she?”

Peipei nodded. “Yes! Oh, she would! What should I do?”

Zerryn leaned over, and pointed to a door. “That’s the cargo bay. I’ll need to move into there next. Go inside, and you’ll find a panel just like the one I’m working on now. Take it off, and wait for me.”

“Okay...” Peipei wandered over to the door, and pressed the release button. The door slid reluctantly open, and she stepped inside.

“At last, some solitude,” Zerryn sighed. He finished soldering a wire to the module, and a screen on the wall became active.

“Yes...” he said quietly. “Sanction? Can you hear me?”

Sanction appeared on the screen, and looked confused for a second. “Oh... I don’t think I’ve seen this part of the ship before.”

Peipei leaned back through the doorway. “Mr Qusp? Excuse me?”

“Yeah, just a minute. Sanction, I’ve just patched this section into the communication system. Could you check everything’s working?”

Sanction nodded. “Just a sec...”

Peipei waved, trying to attract Zerryn’s attention. “Hello? Could you come and look at this?”

“Not now, I’m busy. Sanction?”

“Everything seems normal,” Sanction replied. “Although there is a small fluctuation in signal power.”

“I know,” Zerryn said. “That’s just because the module’s exposed. I’ll shut it back into the wall.”

Peipei walked back towards Zerryn.

“I won’t be a minute, Peipei,” he acknowledged. “I just have some things to do here.”

To Zerryn’s surprise, the catgirl walked straight past him and addressed the screen. “Miss Sanction?”

“What is it?” Sanction smiled.

“Can you see inside the cargo bay?”

The chibi shook her head. “No. I see via the communication system. I won’t be able to see in there until the modules are installed. Why?”

Peipei shrugged. “Oh... it’s just that there’s a lot of really weird stuff in there, all just piled up. It’s probably not important, but I thought I should tell someone anyway.”

“What kind of stuff?” Zerryn hurried over to the cargo bay door and looked inside. “Oh my God... where did all of this come from?”

Swanchita, Zerryn and Peipei stood at the entrance to the cargo bay. Romilla was inside, picking through the contents.

“Wow...” Swanchita said after a suitably dramatic silence. “This stuff looks really valuable.” She looked to Romilla. “It is valuable, right?”

“Certainly,” the nun replied. “Precious metals, works of art, some random technology... plus a sizeable amount of cash in various currencies, as far as I can tell. This is quite a collection.”

Zerryn punched the air. “We’re rich!”

“I don’t know about that...” Swanchita mused. “This must all belong to somebody, right?”

Romilla thought for a while. “I’ve heard rumours about pirate ships,” she recalled. “The occupants are forced to abandon their ship for a while... so they cloak it, and set it on a course for a remote region of space. If any ship gets too close, it’s programmed to attack, then continue on its way. When the pirates want to return, they can locate the ship and its contents simply by knowing the course they set.”

“This must have been a pirate ship!” Swanchita gasped. “How exciting! Although I don’t approve of piracy, of course. Do you think we could find out who any of these things used to belong to?”

“The money’s untraceable... the same probably goes for the precious metals. But some of the other items might be possible to trace. I assume you’re thinking the same thing I am?”

“That’s right!” Swanchita replied. “I think it’s our duty to return these items to their rightful owners! Does everyone agree?”

“Of course!” Peipei grinned. “What a noble and heroic idea, mistress!”

Zerryn gave a shallow nod. “I suppose it’s only fair, but I was thinking about all that money... There’s no way we can return it, so maybe we could just...”

“Donate it to charity?” Swanchita interrupted. “Yes, that’s a wonderful suggestion! Well done! I can tell you’re going to fit in with this crew perfectly.”

Zerryn groaned. “Thanks.”

Swanchita looked at Romilla with an ‘I told you so’ expression. “And to think you doubted him.”

Captain’s Log

Standard Galactic Date 7052:074 (2)

“The 505 has a new mission. As well as getting home, we’re going to try to undo the damage caused by the last owners of this ship. I know this will probably make the journey longer, but this is exactly what all those spaceship captains on TV would do! Besides, I just know that Ilivo is going to find me. He’s going to be so proud of me when he finds out what I’ve been up to!

I hope that Romilla and Zerryn stop arguing soon. I know that they’re both good people, and I want everyone on this ship to be friends! I’m sure they just need some time to get to know each other.

Well, I’m going to bed. Sanction says she’ll look after the ship until morning.”

The captain’s bedroom hardly matched up to the sort of luxury Swanchita was accustomed to, but she didn’t mind. It was all part of the adventure. In any case, she was thoroughly exhausted, and would quite happily have slept anywhere. She rested her head on the pillow and looked up at the ceiling.

“I brought you a drink, mistress.” Peipei bowed her head slightly and held out the glass. Swanchita reached over and took it.

“Thanks, Peipei... but you must be tired too. Why don’t you go and get some sleep too, hmm?”

Peipei started back with a look of utter devotion. “Oh... yes, mistress. Of course.”

“Well, goodnight.” Swanchita turned on her side, and settled down.

After a few seconds, she felt something beside her.

“What is it?” she mumbled, looking over her shoulder. “Um... Peipei?”

The catgirl had climbed into bed beside her, and appeared to be asleep. Swanchita sat up and rubbed her temples.

“Peipei, come on. You have your own bedroom. Peipei...”

There was no response. Swanchita looked for a while at the figure, sleeping happily. She let out a resigned sigh.

“I suppose, now that you’re asleep...”

She shuffled over to the far side of the bed, and settled down.

“Sweet dreams.”