Ask Smut January 2025 (Patreon)

This Month, the Questions were:

1: Big question, but here goes. I have been with my partner for nearly 6 years, we live together and are a part of each others family. He is my best friend and I love him. However, we have only had sex once in the past (nearly) 4 years. I am the only one trying to initiate intimacy, in several ways, and have always been told no. Some of them are health reasons, but sometimes I just want a cuddle or a physical touch and he says he will but never does. He knew from the beginning of our relationship that I have a high libido and enjoy physical intimacy, but being rejected for half of our relationship means that the part of my brain that is attracted to him and wants a romantic/sexual connection has just shut down. I have tried having serious talks with him, I have tried arranging days out and dates, I have even spoken to him about an open relationship, but there is always a reason it doesn't happen (whether it's legitimate or him being lazy). I'm curious, what would you suggest for my situation?

2: When I first got to know my partner, they were very kink friendly and had a little 'toolbox' of treats. Despite this, and many talks about kinks we are both into, my partner does not seem interested in acting out any of these kinks, and has never even used any of their 'tools' on me. If I bring up any kinks or toys, it's always 'let's do that another time'. Any advice for bringing these talks into reality?

3: As a beginner to bdsm, and I do wanna try to be a dom, but I’m also very critical about myself, making my first attempt to put it in reality to be so difficult. Because I don’t want to mess it up, or making the other person feel bad. Do you have any suggestions for a dom in her first try? Or what would you do if something goes wrong in the process of bdsm stuff.

4: Would accept a long-term relationship with someone who is suicidal? She needs a lot of attention and companionship and proper guidance, as a Dom/older man or a man, would think it's a burden?

5: Im quite shy around my partner when it comes to sex. Even though ive seen everything on them. Any tips on how to lessen that?

6: What advice would you give to a Sub whose Dom has ignored the use of their safe word?

7: Since it's the season for it; best & worst Christmas gifts?

8: what's your favorite impact toy?