Your twink roommate is pretty pissed off about your gains, fat boy. (Patreon)

“Come over here and tell me everything you’ve eaten today, piggy, and don’t fuckin’ lie. The trash can is literally overflowing with takeout bags and there’s like five pizza boxes stacked out back. And you keep telling me you wanna LOSE weight. Dude, your weight has doubled at least since you moved in here. My twink buddies all talk about how big you’ve gotten, how disgustingly obese you are. So do something about it, fat boy, or get the fuck outta my apartment.”