“You want anything, baby? Some more pasta maybe, or another box of those double-fudge cookies you like? Aw, are you still feeling maxed out? Your belly is looking so round, so I’m not surprised. It’s okay, sweetie. I checked on the calorie-counter app and you’ve already eaten 16,354 calories today, so you’ve earned a break. Mmm, are you my big, fat, sexy pig? Yes you are. I’m gonna rub your bloated gut for you in just a sec, honey, but why don’t I quickly grab that box of cookies? You know, just in case.”
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