Shirtless gymnast will bag your groceries, big man (Patreon)

"Hi sir. We're raising money for our college gymnastics team so we're offering a shirtless bagging service for customers here today. Oh thanks - it was my idea actually. Can we help, cause I notice that you have about four . . . wait FIVE trolleys? Do you have a big family? Oh shit, this is all for you? All this pizza, cake, ice cream, cookies and other fattening shit is all for you?? Fuck, no wonder you're so fucking fat! Sorry sir, I didn't mean to be rude. Oh, you're a "gainer". Yeah, I've heard about people like you. Tell you what: I'm about 180 lbs, so I'll go and get three of my teammates. We'll have a shirtless weigh-off at the garage next door and if you weigh more than the four of us combined, we'll bag all your groceries for free? All right, big man - I knew you'd be into that! I'll text Troy, Colt and Scottie - Scottie weighs about 220, by the way - and we'll meet you at the industrial scales. This is gonna be awesome!"