Joyce open-shirt pin-up redraw, exploratory pencils 1 and 2 (Patreon)

While the Book 14 Kickstarter has been taking up almost all of my time the past few days, I've been trying to sneak in some work on the promised redraw of the older Joyce art.

I dunno! None of my pencil gestures are speaking to me so far. I'm not sure what it is. I'm gonna keep trying, though, and you can have a look at two attempts in the meantime. Tell me which one is obviously better, and I'll say NEITHER!!!! YOU FOOL!!!!!