Chapter 18 - Worse Than You (Patreon)

“Yen? Is that you?” a voice called to me.

I peeked up from my seat in Beginner’s Rest to see Nigel. At least, I assumed it was Nigel. It looked just like him, but he was now much older. He’d grown taller, too. Much taller. Enough to tower over me. And his body. So broad. So strong.

“N-Nigel!” I sprang from my seat, barely keeping my hands from overturning the table. My grin felt as wide as my face. “When did you get here?”

Nigel tilted his head, studying me with an intensity that made my stomach flutter. His violet eyes sparkled with something I couldn’t place.

“Why are you staring like that?” I asked, my voice a pitch too high. Heat flushed my face as I turned away, pretending to inspect something exciting on the floor.

“You’re cute,” Nigel said suddenly.

I looked up, my face crimson like the guts of a monster had spilled over my face.

Nigel placed one hand on the table before me and tossed it across the room. “I must have you.”

“N-No!” I barely resisted as he grabbed me and pulled me to the floor. “N-Not in the public!” I shrieked, embarrassed.

I felt lips on my neck. My body was warm. It was nice, considering how conscious I was of where we were.

Lifting my head, I—

Why can’t I move my head? It’s stuck!

My eyes opened.

I was back in reality.

There was no inn. Nigel wasn’t there. I was alone. My head was buried in my sleeping bag, and something kept my head from moving freely.

“Goddamit,” I complained, embarrassed. “Right at the good part!”

My fingers brushed against the offending snag, and my stomach sank. My horns. They’d grown overnight, poking through my hair and stabbing into the dirt like little anchors. After a solid minute of cursing, twisting, and punching at the ground, I finally freed myself.

“Son of a bitch!” I felt the horns. They were sticking out as far as a finger when they were barely pointed the day before. “Why?! Why are you suddenly so much faster?!Shit!”

This was an unnatural level of growth that hadn’t happened before. Granted, I was debating cutting them before I left because they were nearly poking through my bangs, but I didn’t want to deal with the pain and reasonably reasoned that they would not double in length in a single day…as they did…

Why did this happen? I wondered. Why now? Why literally now for the very first time? Cause of the forest? Cause I’m getting older? Something else? What?!

I didn’t have the answer, but I knew one thing: they needed to disappear. I’d made inroads with the group, enough that they conversed with me nicely. Showing them my horns the very next morning would likely destroy whatever goodwill they had for me, likely forever, if I had to guess.

For a brief moment, I looked between my legs as the dream replayed in my mind. Furrowing my brow, I looked at the roof of my tent and sighed. “Trading pleasure for pain.” I pulled on my horns. “Good morning to me.”

I peeked out of the front of my tent as silently as possible. The sun was barely beginning to rise. I spotted Kardin sitting in the middle of the camp by the fire. In his hands was his sword. He sharpened it while staring into the fire as a backdrop.

If he’s on watch, then it’s almost time for everyone to wake up, I realized. Need to get moving.

With an exaggerated yawn, I emerged from my tent and rubbed my eyes. Kardin caught my gaze immediately.

“Morning,” I said, faking a shiver under my blanket, which I purposely brought out to hide my horns and face. “Anything happen?”

Kardin glanced at me, his sword flashing in the firelight. “Not a thing. Go back to sleep if you want to. I’ll give it another hour or so before I wake everyone up.”

“It’s fine.” I scratched my face awkwardly and looked away to feign embarrassment. “Nature’s calling.”

“Ah.”

“I’m gonna go for a bit. Don’t wait up.”

“R-Right.”

With that, I strutted out of camp.

“Why is she bringing her blanket?” wondered Kardin as I exited the area.

As soon as I was out of view and a reasonable distance away, I dropped the blanket, channeled wind mana into my legs, and tore off into the woods. I ran as fast as I could for thirty seconds, then stopped. When I looked back, I was so far away from our camp that I couldn’t see smoke or even the rocks making it out in the distance.

“That’s far enough.” My codex appeared in my hand, and I pulled out a knife, letting the book dissipate in a burst of particles right after. “Horns first, then camp.” I hesitated. “No, bathroom first, then horns. Don’t want to piss myself from the pain.”

I completed task one, which was a lovely moment amongst the trees and nature. Then I was back standing with a knife to my head, one hand gripping a horn with the other bearing the blade right against the black, calcified tip protruding from my crown.

“I hate this, I hate this, I hate this!” I whined. I took a deep breath, huffed in and out rapidly, and channeled wind mana into my hand at the most concentrated rate I could.

“What are you doing?”

I turned to see Kardin staring at me.

We held each other’s gazes for a minute.

Kardin glanced at my forehead, my knife, then at my face.

I could feel my cheeks swelling red with embarrassment as whatever words I wanted to say instantly caught inside my throat.

Kardin was the first to react. He pulled out his codex and removed his sword from its pages. Hurriedly, he took a few terrified paces back as he braced into a stance and pointed his sword at me. Sweat beaded at his brow. “You’re an archdevil?!”

I dropped my knife. “Uhhhh…” It clattered uselessly to the ground. “No?”

Both of us deadpanned at my stupid comment.

“You—you were hiding this, too?!” Kardin’s voice cracked, his fear breaking through his usual composure. His sword shook in his hands, but he didn’t lower it. Sweat dripped down his temple.

I raised my hands slowly, palms open and fingers spread. “Kardin, please. It’s not what you think. Just… let me explain.” My voice trembled, and I hated it. But I couldn’t let him panic.

He didn’t move. The light caught his wide eyes as they darted between my face and my horns. “Talk fast.”

I immediately threw myself to the ground until my forehead was scraping the dirt. “Please don’t tell anyone about this! Please! I’m begging you!” If it worked on Tannin and Bruno, it would probably work on Kardin, too. He acted tough, but he had his kind moments.

Sure enough, glancing up, I saw Kardin’s blade drop slightly as confusion raced across his face. “What?”

“I mean you no harm. I’m a peaceful person who likes to help people,” I said. “I was born with these horns. They don’t define who I am. I do that.” I smiled as I sat up on my knees. “There’s no need to be afraid of me.”

Kardin winced. “You have white eyes and horns. How could I not be?!”

I immediately touched my face. I’d left my blindfold back at camp, assuming Kardin wouldn’t follow after me. Immediately, I laid down on the ground in a ball, defeated. “I suck so much. I spent a decade hiding my horns and nearly five years hiding my eyes, and I revealed both in less than two days to a bunch of strangers,” I pouted. “It’s your fault, Nigel!” I screamed into the sky.

“What are you on about?” asked Kardin.

I looked up to see Kardin placing his sword back in his codex. He showed no fear in his posture or face for some reason. If anything, it was almost as if he were staring at me like a sick puppy lost in the woods.

“What?” I whined.

“You just destroyed every image I had of archdevils,” muttered Kardin with a look of near disgust.

I sat up quickly. “What?! What?! You want me to try kill to you or something?! Would that make you feel better?!”

“Would you?”

“…no.”

“Yeah, I just realized that. Huddling into a ball and crying really sold me. It was too genuine and pathetic.” Kardin sighed. “You’re a little stupid, aren’t you?”

It was the first time anyone had ever said those words to me. I was unsure if I was relieved or annoyed by that.

“Now that this—” Kardin gestured at my horns, “—is out in the open, do you mind telling me who you are?”

“Who I am?” I uttered as I sat up and crossed my legs. “Same as before with some additions,” I scoffed. “My human parents found me as a baby, adopted me, and raised me in this village. I want to be an adventurer and I joined you guys for experience at Tannin’s behest. And what I said before is true. I like helping people. I want to help people. It makes me feel good. Kindness is free, but it’s the hardest thing to give, so I want to give as much as possible.”

“R-Right.”

“I’ve been mistreated my entire life just for being presumed to be a forest devil,” I continued. I pointed at my horns. “As soon as I saw these fucking things growing, I knew I had to hide them. Do you know how painful it feels to cut them off? Yet I do it twice a month to keep up appearances! I would rather bite off my fingers every day than cut off my horns. That’s how much it fucking hurts!”

“C-Calm down, Yen.”

“Listen, I could have easily killed the three of you whenever I wanted,” I just kept rambling. “If I meant you any ill will, I could have turned this forest into a funeral pyre,” I snapped my fingers, “like that. But I didn’t, and I wouldn’t! Even though I’m an archdevil!” My head rocked crazily to the side. “You want to know why? Because I’m not an irrational monster bent on destroying every human and controlling the world. I’m a rational, free-thinking individual with hopes, dreams, and feelings.” I puffed my chest out proudly. “And I’m good at everything I do.”

“Except remembering to put on a blindfold and hide your horns,” said Kardin in an attempt to cut me off.

His blunt, sarcastic wit caught me off guard. I was immediately silenced.

“My initial reaction was something engrained in me. It was rude. I apologize. From what I’ve seen of you and how you speak, you’re not evil. Airheaded, perhaps, but not evil. Trust me, I have family members meaner than you. By a lot.” Kardin chuckled. “If we skip over when you tried to poison our food last night, you’re a generally kind person. Annoying, but kind.”

I couldn’t tell whether I should be annoyed by all the insults stuffed in between the nice comments or content that he wasn’t swinging at me with his blade.

“I’ll keep your secret. Get up.” Kardin turned away from me and motioned for me to follow. “Let’s go. We’ve got a job to do.”

I stared after him, stunned. “You will? Why? That makes no sense.”

“Why do I get from telling people about you?”

“A bounty, maybe?”

“Don’t need it.”

I stood up and followed after Kardin, plucking up my knife and storing it in my codex. “You’re an adventurer. You’ll always need money.”

“That’s not why I do this.”

“Then why?”

“Because I feel like it.”

“Liar.”

Kardin shrugged.

When we arrived back at camp, Lars and Gabby were already packing everything into their codexes.

I hid behind Kardin. “Shit, I need to get my blindfold so they don’t—”

“Yo!” yelled Kardin, getting Lars and Gabby’s attention. “Yen’s got horns. She’s an archdevil.” He pointed behind me. “Gabby and I were right, Lars. She was hiding something else.”

“Besides the white eyes?” wondered Lars nonchalantly.

“You knew?!” I peeked over Kardin’s shoulder, surprised.

Lars chuckled nervously from a distance, rubbing the back of his neck. “We, uh, kind of had an idea already. Your sword lit up white like a beacon back with the Ignivis. Not much of a secret, honestly.” His tone was light, but his glance at my horns lingered just long enough to give away his unease.

I fell to my knees as Kardin casually entered the camp and started rummaging through his stuff. “Kardin’s right, I am stupid.”

“I usually am,” joked Kardin.

“You said you’d keep my secret!”

“Not from them.” Kardin gestured at Lars and Gabby. “Obviously. Besides, we had a bet going.”

“I bet you were just hiding the eyes,” said Lars.

“I bet you were planning to rob us in our sleep,” admitted Gabby sheepishly.

“And I thought you were…well, I didn’t think you were an archdevil,” concluded Kardin. “Guess that means you win. Congratulations.”

“Yaaaay,” I droned with a blank expression on my face. “Lucky me.”

Gabby hesitated as she approached me, her brow furrowing slightly. When she finally reached me, her fingers hovered near my horns before gently touching the space between them. “They’re… not as scary as I thought they’d be,” she murmured, almost as if trying to convince herself. After a pause, she gave my head a soft pat. “There, there.”

Lars, standing a few steps back, nodded in agreement. “You’re… definitely not what I expected. But maybe that’s a good thing.”

“Amazing,” I uttered. “So many kind words directed my way even though I was born a monster. Fascinating.”

Lars exhaled sharply, his expression darkening as he met Yen’s gaze. “You really did grow up around humans, didn’t you?” His tone was heavy, almost bitter. “No one’s better at making you hate yourself for being different.”

For some reason, those words resonated through the group like a sudden gust of wind. I watched as the expressions on everyone’s face darkened.

Right. Well then. Big problems, Yen, I thought. Three people you barely know have seen your horns and eyes. The eyes are kind of a problem, but not as big as the horns. The real question is, do I trust them enough not to harm me?

My expression calmed. “I despise killing,” I thundered, snapping them all out of their heads. Gabby stepped back from me, her hand leaping from my head. “Unless I have to. And I have killed people before,” I said rather coldly, earning sharp glances from the trio. “I don’t care what you guys do or say about me. I’ll be fine. But I have a family that I love. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them. Nothing.” I leaned forward with a savage grin, my mouth slightly agape and my teeth poking out. My eyes glowed. “If they get hurt, I’ll make you pray for a world without an afterlife. Otherwise, you’ll have to remember what I did to you before you died for all eternity.” I softened my expression and smiled. “Sound good?”

The trio stared at me.

“We have our own shit to deal with,” said Kardin. “What you are doesn’t matter to me in the slightest. Are you going to do your job?”

“We’re still doing the job?” I wondered as I pointed at my eyes and horns. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Then…yes.”

“Good.” Kardin’s face softened. He suddenly looked wracked with an incomprehensible level of exhaustion. Lars and Gabby looked the same way. All three seemed weaker and smaller. “Trust me when I say this—you’re the least of our worries.”

What’s that supposed to mean?

“I’m glad we’ve got everything cleared up then,” I muttered.

“Good. Now pack your shit,” ordered Kardin. “We’re almost done. Hurry up.”

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•

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We didn’t say another word about devils or white eyes for the next few hours. Things went right back to how they were at the start. Kardin led the way to where the Velocavious was spotted, Gabby and Lars supported him, and I watched from the rear in case anything happened.

The only difference was that I started to think that these people were absolutely insane.

They actually don’t give a shit, I thought. I mean, they’re all humans, and I’m the devil of their nightmares. They’re all from Camden. I don’t care what they said to my face. It’s easy to lie. There’s no way they don’t have terrible views of devils, worst of all archdevils. What is wrong with them?

Suddenly, my head hit a branch. “Ow,” I groaned. I tried to pull away, but the tips of my horns were embedded into the wood. I tugged my neck until the branch snapped. Annoyed, I plucked it off my horns and threw it behind me.

“Watch out. There’s a branch there,” called Kardin, glancing at me over his shoulder. Gabby and Lars smiled at his little comment.

“Shut up!”

“You’d think you’d be used to it.”

“I’ve spent most of my life cutting them off, so no, I’m not used to it,” I shot back.

Apparently, that was the end of the conversation because we trudged forward without another word.

“Argh! I can’t take this!” I shouted. “How are you all so calm?!”

The trio looked back at me without saying a word. They just continued forward in the woods toward our contracted destination.

“Have you all met an archdevil before?” I asked. “Is that why it’s like this?”

“I haven’t,” replied Kardin.

“Nope,” Lars added.

“Not once,” said Gabby.

“Have you lived in devil-heavy regions for a long time? Like the Broken Bits or the Devil Continent?” I wondered.

“Visited the Broken Bits once a few years ago,” admitted Kardin. “Didn’t stay long enough for it to make an impact.”

“Ditto,” added Lars.

“Same,” said Gabby.

“Did you grow up around devils?” I questioned. “Gabby said you’re from Camden. Lots of enslaved devils living there, I bet.”

“That’s not the reason,” decided Kardin after a moment. “But yes, we did.”

The other two nodded.

So if it has nothing to do with how they’ve lived or were raised, it must be circumstantial, I reasoned. Humans naturally hate devils, or at least they don’t respect them. Other devils tend to either ignore or be nice to other devils because they’re familiar with each other’s plight. I stared at the back of my party’s heads. It’s because we’re all familiar with what it means to be a devil.

“Are you guys being persecuted or something?” I wondered out loud.

The vibe of the group immediately darkened. I saw the sides of Kardin’s jaw clench. Gabby’s head flinched reactively. Lars cleared his throat as soon as I was done speaking.

Ah. There we are. Answers.

Before I could ask a follow-up, something above caught my eye. I looked up and was greeted with destroyed branches, crushed treetops, and fallen leaves.

“Hold up,” I said. Without waiting for a response, I moved ahead of the trio until I was in the lead. “There are signs of something big flying through here.” I pointed upward. “Look at the tops of the trees. Lots of snapped branches, all in a similar pattern moving at an angle. Something big was flying low around here.” I glanced about the area. “Judging by the angle—” I looked in the brush for my intended target and spotted it instantly. “There we are.” I plucked a massive feather entangled between twigs and leaves. “Proof.”

The feather was about the size of my arm. It had the shape and length of a really long, twisted piece of hair. There was a faint smell of decay coming from it, and it reeked of corrupted miasma—a scent akin to a stale wind baptized in rancid water, ashes, and rotten soil.

“Based on all this, we need to go that way.” I pointed east deeper into the forest. “Ready?”

“How do you know all this?” asked Kardin.

“Oh, my dad taught me tracking when I was a kid, so I could always hunt food when needed. The skill’s translated well into this part of my life,” I explained. “Trust me, I’ve been doing this for years. I’ve got this. If we head this way, we’ll find either its hunting grounds or nest.”

Kardin looked at me for a moment. His gaze then drifted to where I suggested we go. “Lead the way then.”

“Awesome.” I stood up and strutted forward. “Our prey awaits.”

We followed the path likely set by the creature some distance away. There were times when the beast dipped above the trees and showed no signs of destruction. We still followed the creature’s general direction, and the familiar destruction above would return. There were also bones, feathers, and feces to follow. We were on the right path.

Around half an hour in, the destruction started to dip. Trees were bent, there were destroyed branches on the ground, and feathers were more abundant.

I halted the group. “We’re close to it. Be on guard.”

The trio nodded. Everyone pulled out their weapons, including me. Prepared, we set forth.

Soon, we were in a small clearing. It was an obvious nest. There were branches and bones brought in and encircling the place. Trees were purposefully knocked down to create space. The miasma felt thick and evil, like something spent a lot of time in the area. There were corpses of animals littering the places—some half-eaten and others rotting.

I only had a fraction of a second to examine all this before my eyes enveloped the massive Velocavious crouched on all fours in the middle of the clearing.

The monster loomed over the clearing like a macabre monument to decay and madness, its grotesque form larger than two towering buildings stacked together. Black feathers hung in twisted clumps across its body, their texture more akin to wiry hair than plumage, and the stench of rot emanated from them like a physical force. The creature’s four massive wings—two sprouting unnaturally from its lower back and two from its upper torso—laid flat on its back and lightly touched the ground.

Its four legs were grotesque parodies of bird anatomy, each ending in elongated, skeletal fingers tipped with jagged talons that raked the dirt as it shifted. Eyes, dozens of them, bulged grotesquely from every inch of its body like milky pores.

But its beak was the most horrifying feature. Pulled into a sinister, unnatural grin, it revealed rows upon rows of jagged, sword-like teeth. The smile seemed almost sentient as if mocking us for daring to trespass. The air around it felt charged, oppressive, and alive—a suffocating miasma that gnawed at my senses.

We all braced ourselves for a fight.

But the creature didn’t move.

That’s when my eyes caught something else. Something more peculiar than the creature.

A man in thin, dark clothing sat right underneath the Velocavious. He rested his arm on his knee and looked at the creature’s face. Shaggy black hair covered most of his facial features, so much so that I could make out his eyes.

“You’re finally here,” muttered the man. His voice was quiet but rang in my ear like an explosion. The man stood. He brushed off his backside, stuck his hands in his pockets, and walked in our direction.

Two glowing orange eyes burned in our direction, peaking through the black strands atop his head.

In the next instance, the head of the Velocavious slid down until it separated and hit the ground. The creature’s body soon followed, slamming into the ground with a heavy thump that shook the trees.

Malic filled the air, and I felt tremors of power lick my skin. Behind me, Kardin, Gabby, and Lars trembled. Their faces were filled with fear, and they couldn’t move.

He’s internalized his fire mana to create pressure.

“You three sure have kept me busy,” directed the man at the rest of my party. He acted like I wasn’t even there. “Ah, forgive me. I should bow to royalty, shouldn’t I?” The man performed an exaggerated bow dripping with mockery. His eyes never left Kardin’s. “Though decorum feels wasted on a prince playing peasant.”

Prince?

I turned to Kardin, expecting his usual calm, but his face had gone pale, his lips slightly parted as if he couldn’t catch his breath. His hands, holding his sword, twitched like he was ready to swing wildly at any moment.

“You picked up a stray, it seems.” The strange man looked at me. He was in his early thirties at most, with a clean-shaven face and sharp features. “An archdevil,” he mused, his gaze settled on me like one might regard an insect. “With white eyes, no less. How quaint. Such power in such an unremarkable little vessel—what a waste.” He stared at me. “Run along now. You have no part in this story.”

The stranger flicked his wrist.

A wall of wind hit me like a battling ram, the force ripping the breath from my lungs. My body was hurled backward, crashing through branches and foliage that clawed at my skin. The world blurred—a violent rush of green, brown, and gray. Each impact rattled my bones, the crack of splintering wood echoing in my ears as if the forest was breaking apart beneath me.

My momentum ended in a sickening thud as my body collided with a boulder. Pain exploded across my back, sharp and all-encompassing, stealing my ability to move or even scream. A deep, resonant crack echoed in my skull, and my vision pulsed with blinding flashes of white. I gasped, the sharp tang of iron filling my mouth as blood seeped from a cut I couldn’t even locate. My limbs felt disconnected as if they no longer belonged to me.

The world swam before me, a distorted swirl of shadows and light. My muscles screamed in protest as I tried to push myself upright, my arms trembling violently beneath me. The ground tilted and rolled, and before I knew it, I collapsed back into the dirt, my body giving out. Each breath was shallow and ragged, each movement like a blade slicing through my nerves.

I looked up. There was a clear path carved into the forest where I was flung—cut between the vegetation and trees to where I laid. None of the scenery looked familiar. I couldn’t even tell what part of the forest I was in anymore.

I tried to stand again but immediately fell. Warm blood dripped down the back of my neck, pooling at the corner of my lips. I tasted copper with every shallow breath. My legs buckled as I tried again to rise, and this time, the effort sent a sharp, stabbing pain up my spine.

With a defeated groan, I crumpled back to the earth, the cool grass prickling against my skin. “Ow,” I whispered, my voice barely audible over the pounding of my pulse in my ears.