Chapter 47 - Empty Again (Patreon)

My brain pulsed, my thoughts drowning in static at the sight of Nigel dying right in front of me. I couldn’t comprehend it. The world felt hollow, unreal, as if it had split in half around me.

I looked at my hands, peeling them away from his body. They trembled, slick with his blood—warm, human, impossible.

The thought of him dying—

Another pike of earth shot toward me.

I didn’t have time to grieve. No time to think. No room for agony.

My hand moved on instinct, overflowing with water mana and triggering the Heavenly style. I struck the pike aside, sending it spinning into a nearby building, where it shattered into drifting fragments of mana.

My sorrow burned away, replaced by a fury deeper than anything I had ever known. Raw and alive. An inferno beneath my skin.

But even as anger roared through me, it was dying. Each fading breath from Nigel dimmed it. I could feel the numbness creeping in, clawing at the edges of my mind, spreading from the corners inward.

If he died, I would go empty again. I could feel it waiting for me.

But there was no time to think. No time to break.

Another pike tore through the air toward my head.

It wasn’t a stray shot—this was meant for me. Nigel was just collateral.

I caught the pike with my bare hand and stared toward its source, my Heavenly Style sharpening my senses until every grain of dust seemed suspended in the air.

A house in the distance. That was where she was.

Mana surged through me like fire through veins of oil.

•••

Elaine’s marks pulsed faintly, the black etchings on her skin brightening with each surge of mana. Her horns lengthened by a few millimeters. It was so subtle, she didn’t notice. But her power felt sickly, twisted. The taste of metal filled her mouth, her throat burning from the energy building beneath her skin. It was the kind of mana that reeked of corruption, one that strained the body even as it fueled the will to kill for love.

She fixed her gaze on Yen. Blood, a mix of her own and Nigel’s, painted her torso in dark streaks. Her lips moved, whispering something inaudible until her lone eye snapped to Elaine’s location like a predator spotting prey. The wind shifted. Burning debris rattled in the distance, and for one still heartbeat, the world froze between them.

Elaine froze, too. Her heart hammered, breath shallow and ragged. The sight of Yen, like a monstrous goddess, stole the breath from her lungs. 

Yen’s hand rose, fire swirling in her palm. It condensed. Red, then orange, then burning blue. The heat warped the air as it pulsed like a miniature star. The sound it made was wrong, more alive than flame should ever be.

She released it.

The fireball screamed across the street, a comet of fury tearing through the smog.

Elaine was already running. The instant the sphere formed, instinct screamed louder than thought, and she hurled herself out of the building.

BOOOOOOM!

The blast obliterated the house she’d just escaped, splinters of timber and molten shards flying in every direction. The shockwave rippled outward, knocking birds from the sky and rattling the cobblestone streets. Burning debris whirled past her as flames devoured the wreckage. Embers cascaded across rooftops like fiery rain, and within seconds, half the street was aflame. The air grew suffocating, thick with oil and smoke, the smell of ash and burned flesh coating her lungs. The ringing in her ears drowned out all thought. For a moment, there was only heat and silence.

She darted between alleys, searching for cover, every step kicking up dust and debris. Stealth was her strength. It's how the Ethereal Council trained Primordials like her. Those exceptional in the art of death. Elaine had no reason to risk a direct fight. Decades of training had taught her that skill was worthless if you didn’t live to use it again. She was a warrior, an assassin, and above all, a survivor. Shadows were her weapon. Patience, her ally.

If she hadn’t misjudged the pike’s trajectory—if it had skewered only Yen instead of piercing Nigel first—the fight would have ended before it started. Elaine knew that. She hated that. The memory of that single error clawed at her like guilt given form.

Emotion ruined precision. The old Elaine, the one who followed orders and killed without hesitation, would never have missed. But the woman she’d become was flawed. Love, passion, and fury blinded her. She wanted Edwin’s eyes on her, even if it meant his wrath. Better to burn under his gaze than vanish into the dark. Even if it killed her.

Screams rippled through the streets as villagers rushed to douse the spreading flames. Buckets toppled, voices cracked, chaos erupted. The world was burning, and they were its architects. Smoke swirled through the narrow streets, turning the air into liquid heat. Each sound echoed like the heartbeat of a dying world.

Elaine calculated her next move, forcing herself to breathe past the pain, but before she could act—

A leg crashed into the left side of her face.

The impact was catastrophic. Pain detonated through her skull; her cheekbone shattered, her eye crushed, her jaw cracked sideways, teeth snapping like glass. The world spun in violent color, dust and stone flying past as her body was hurled through the air.

Then came the crash.

She plowed through one wall, then another, then another—each explosion of splinters louder than the last—until the fifth building finally gave way beneath her weight. She landed in the town square, a heap of flesh, blood, and agony. Her vision blurred, her breathing ragged. Blood pooled in her mouth, warm and metallic. It was a taste she knew too well. When she coughed, a tooth clattered into the dirt with a dull clink. She looked up through the haze.

For a heartbeat, the smoke parted.

Yen stood over her.

The Primordial's body dripped with blood, her one eye burning white-hot, a beacon of wrath and despair. The sigils on her fingers and wrists glowed like molten iron, pulsating in rhythm with her heartbeat. Her black hair, loose and wild, shimmered with red undertones as the wind tore through it. Dust and ash clung to her skin, streaking across her cropped shirt and torn pants. Barefoot, her toes pressed into the fractured earth, the ground itself seeming to shudder beneath her fury.

She tore open her codex and reached inside with violent intent. The air shimmered around her arm as she yanked out a sword, the steel vibrating from the surge of energy that flowed through it. She tossed the codex aside. It burst into glittering particles of mana that quickly faded into the air.

A single heartbeat passed. The heat between them seemed to solidify.

“You tried to kill me in the woods,” Yen said. Her voice was flat, deadly, but beneath it trembled grief. “Edwin knew that, didn't he?”

Elaine glared, blood dribbling down her chin.

“And he let you live.” Yen’s tone sharpened, eyes narrowing with animal focus. “And this is how you repay him? If an owner won’t put down his pet when it bites someone—” she hissed the word— “then someone else will.”

Yen struck. The blade swept low, aimed to sever a leg.

A wall of stone erupted between them, intercepting the strike with an echoing clang. Sparks scattered through the air as the sword rebounded with a metallic scream.

Elaine used the recoil to propel herself backward, boots skidding against the dirt. Yen’s follow-up blow obliterated the wall in a burst of fire, smoke curling into the sky. Another orb of flame followed. Elaine slashed it midair, the explosion scattering into a thousand glowing orange particles that drifted like dying fireflies.

Yen’s expression hardened. Her lone white eye gleamed, its glow casting a cruel light on the world.

Elaine drew her own weapon from her codex, the blade singing as it met the air. Orange mana flared along its edge, cascading off in dancing sparks like fireflies. The heat shimmered around her, bending the air.

A Heavenly Master.

They both were.

“You little brat,” Elaine spat, her words thick with blood and fury. “I’ve been fighting since before you were born. Enjoy your lucky strikes. Things won’t end well for you.”

Yen’s stare was unbroken. “Kneel before me,” she said coldly, “and I’ll grant you a painless death.”

Their swords collided in the next heartbeat.

The ground split beneath them. Windows shattered, stones jumped, and the air itself pulsed with the weight of their clash. The sound of mana and metal howled like a storm. For a second, even the fires around them bent away from their power.

If mana alone decided battles, Yen would have ended it instantly. Power, however, wasn’t absolute. Not in their world. Not for mana. The world had rules that defied logic. Skill could outweigh strength. A dog could kill a lion if it struck true.

There were no absolutes. No true victors.

Fear ruled where power faltered.

Even with her white eye blazing, Yen found herself pinned, Elaine’s blade buried deep through her shoulder. Pain surged through her body like lightning. Her grip faltered, her breath catching. Rook’s words echoed in her head like prophecy. Having white eyes only gave her more arrows to shoot, not stronger ones. A partial truth that became evident when steel met steel. 

It didn’t matter how much power Yen had. Technique always triumphed. Experience outlasted talent. Time created monsters far more dangerous than mana ever could. Humanoid creatures that lived the longest became the strongest.

Blood spilled down Yen’s arm, sizzling as it hit the fractured stone, steam rising like ghostly smoke around them.

•••

I created a pocket of wind amid the crumbling battlefield. The force shoved Elaine back, the air cracking like thunder between us. The vibration traveled up my arms, rattling my bones. We landed hard, circling each other like predators in an instant, blades ready, both breathing heavily. 

I had never fought another Heavenly Master before. It made me tense and annoyed. The fact that I couldn't overwhelm her with raw mana, that because our techniques were on the same level we were basically even, pissed me off to no end. 

Even if I were a prodigy, it didn’t matter. My edge—white eyes and reincarnation—only made me grow faster, not invincible. Anyone my age didn't stand a chance. But Elaine wasn't my age. She probably had decades on me. She was time and blood and rage given shape, the kind of veteran who turned killing into an art form.

Still, I’d kicked the shit out of her. Her rhythm faltered, her stance wavered. Blood trickled down her arm, and her breath came shorter. I’d had longer to adapt to my eye, longer to control my power. That should have been enough.

We were both injured, but we were not the same. Both of us had advantages and disadvantages over the others.

Heavenly Style first. Blend in spells when I can, I thought, steadying my breath. Switch to Chaos Style when I need to end it. It’s the perfect counter.

Satisfied, I lunged. My sword stayed tight to my body, thrusting with precision and speed. The strike cut the air like lightning, the force rippling through the dust cloud between us. Elaine spun aside, narrowly dodging, but it left me open.

Her counter came instantly. It was a downward slash meant to cleave me in half.

I dropped, cutting the weight from my legs. Her blade hissed through the air where I’d been, slowed by its own momentum, giving me just enough time to twist upward and strike back.

Elaine’s eyes widened.

My foot snapped into her legs.

We hit the ground together, rolling, flailing, our blades clashing in a storm of sparks. The rhythm of steel and flesh and breath blurred together, violent and chaotic. The ground trembled beneath us as the force of our strikes cracked the cobblestones. Each impact rang like thunder in my ears.

It wasn’t graceful. It was savage. It was survival.

Elaine slashed my side. I carved her arm. The smell of smoke, ash, and blood filled the air, heavy and metallic. Sparks flew as our blades locked, boots sliding through the dirt slick with blood. We kicked, pulled, and struggled for dominance. 

One of my kicks cracked her chin, jerking her head back with a spray of blood. I brought my sword down and pinned her thigh to the ground. Her scream tore through the square, raw and guttural, echoing off the walls of burning buildings.

I dragged myself forward by the hilt, the blade grinding deeper into her leg. My free hand slipped into my codex, drawing a knife in a single motion. I stabbed it into her gut. Another scream erupted from her throat as I pressed closer until we were face-to-face, her breath hot and ragged against mine.

Then I saw it. Elaine’s horns lengthening, her wounds knitting shut, her flesh pulling together with unnatural speed.

The skin around the knife began to close.

Her fist crashed into my jaw.

Bone gave way. Pain exploded through my face, and I was hurled backward. The world twisted. Everything blended into one smear of motion. 

Pikes of stone erupted from the ground, impaling me midair before I could react. Agony seared through my abdomen. The sound was wet and sharp. Blood sprayed from my mouth, splattering the ground below in dark rain. For a heartbeat, I saw nothing but white.

I forced the pain down, spinning wind around me to break the next volley. My mana whipped through the air like a cyclone, lifting me sideways. I ripped out the three pikes embedded in my stomach, flipped them in my grip, and hurled them back with all my strength. The force tore at my shoulder.

Elaine moved.

The wind-charged pikes hit the ground, detonating one after another. The square erupted in a storm of dust and debris. Each impact gouged the earth, leaving smoking craters where she had stood. Shockwaves shattered windows and sent rubble raining from rooftops. The air turned gray and thick, choking all sight and sound.

The screams had stopped. The town was silent now, save for the roaring wind and crackling mana between us. Most of the people around us had fled, but a few still watched from the shadows, drawn to the carnage like moths to flame. I didn’t care. I didn’t want to care.

All I wanted was to kill.

The bloodlust drowned everything. My pulse pounded like war drums in my ears. I was reckless, bordering on suicidal, but I didn’t care. My body would heal. I would endure. If we fought long enough, I would win. Eventually. My “more arrows” meant more chances to recover, even if they didn't equate to raw power. The only question was who would land the killing blow first.

We were equals, yet not. Balanced, but unraveling.

The fight could go either way.

I hovered above the ground, wind swirling beneath me. The dust from my attack choked the air. I couldn’t see Elaine, and I doubted she could see me. The smoke turned everything into a watercolor of gray and flame.

A tense stillness. A temporary stalemate.

“You think you’re the only one who can fly?” came her voice behind me.

I turned. Elaine floated there, framed by darkening sky, her hand raised. Three glowing bands circled each of her fingers, burning bright orange even through the haze of darkness.

She only had one on each finger, I thought. How?

No answer came. In a flash, I was sent plummeting to the ground like a rock falling from a cliff into water. The earth swallowed me, cushioning me with pain.

Elaine descended like a specter, landing softly. Dust swirled at her feet. Her orange eyes glowed beneath the shadow of her hair. She saw my gaze and lifted her hands, letting me see the truth. Three bands, each finger burning with molten orange light that seared the edges of my vision.

“You aren’t a true warrior of Paradise until you’ve mastered the elements as they were meant to be controlled,” she said, voice low and taut with pride. She studied her hand, then looked at me. “Three bands are the minimum. You’d know that if you were one of us. They return us to how we're supposed to be. Before the rules.” Her gaze sharpened, venom lacing every word. “But you’re just a lost pup. A parasite choking the brilliance of the greatest man I’ve ever known.” Her voice trembled with rage. “And for that, you need to die.”

The way they’re supposed to be controlled? The phrase echoed in my head, cutting through the fog of pain.

She plunged down at me with her sword.

I shifted left, cloaking myself in earth mana, wrapping it over me like a blanket. Her blade slammed down, embedding in stone, narrowly missing my head, sparks flying as orange energy split the barrier apart. Mana crackled through the debris.

She could fly. She could command multiple elements at once. The three bands—what did they mean? How had she hidden them from me? And what makes them different from two bands? What's her edge?

The questions dulled my anger for a breath, long enough for doubt to creep in.

Then the ground opened like a clam.

Elaine appeared ahead, her hands spreading wide as if to rip the world open. “Stupid of you to stay there,” she said.

The ground beneath me writhed like a living thing. I tried to fuse my mana into the ground to stop her, but a blast of heat surged from above.

Fire rained down.

With one hand, I formed an earthen barrier over my head. The flames crashed into it, cracks spidering through the shield. With the other, I kept the earth from puncturing me with pikes. As I did, water surged up inside the crevase I created, boiling under the heat. Steam filled the pocket, scalding my lungs. The air screamed as the elements collided.

I was trapped.

Elaine was wielding three elements at once. 

How? Why? My mind raced. No one should be able to manipulate all the elements at once. It defies every law of mana control I know. No books told me about this. Jessie didn't know. What's the difference? Where does the power and logic come from?

The magic system of the world was fucked. It made no sense. It had so many loopholes and bullshit. 

Dwelling on that only made me angreir.

I only had one choice left to make in this fight. It was a risky one, but my last resort. A decision I probably wouldn't have been able to make if my emotions hadn't started to dull.

I stopped channeling earth and turned inward. Fire flooded my veins. Pikes pierced my body, but I ignored them.

The fire twisted, inverted, becoming fuel.

For one heartbeat, I burned the mana inside.

It detonated outward with the pressure of lightning. 

But only for one second. One single second. Then I cut off the fire. 

The pikes stabbing me lost their power. The water boiling below me began to fizzle. The fire burning the earth at my back dissipated. 

The wall I created crumbled away, reintroducing me to the open air. 

When the dust cleared, I stood alone. Bodies lay strewn around me, faint heartbeats proving they lived. The old, the young—even children. A second longer, and they would have been corpses.

My gaze found Nigel.

He hadn’t moved.

And deep inside, the fire of feelings inside me continued to dim. 

Because Nigel was already—

I fought the numbness closing in, clinging to what little of myself remained, but each heartbeat stripped another piece away. The silence after battle pressed in from all sides, heavy and endless.

Elaine lay on the ground, foam bubbling at her lips, her body trembling in violent spasms. She had taken the full brunt of my burning aura at the closest possible distance. 

I stood over her. Fire coiled in my palm, its light flickering across her face, reflecting off her half-lidded eyes. “Wake up,” I growled, my voice raw and hollow. I seized her leg with my flaming hand.

Elaine’s eyes snapped open. She screamed through the foam, her throat shredded, her voice collapsing into broken, inhuman sounds. Her mind was gone, lost in agony. She writhed and flailed like an animal in its death throes, her limbs twitching in futile defiance. The sound clawed at my ears, unrelenting, too human and too far gone.

When I released her, a blackened handprint marred her leg. My print had seared deep into her flesh, smoke curling upward. It would stay forever, a mark of my wrath.

“You’re not getting up.” I caught her right arm in my other hand. I raised my left hand again, fire curling hungrily around my fingers. “You need more prodding.”

I clamped down on her upper bicep.

She screamed louder this time, raw and guttural. The noise ripped through the foam in her mouth, but she still didn't regain her senses. She just thrashed and yelped like a tortured, rabid bitch.

Slowly, I dragged my hand up her arm toward her wrist. The stench of cooked flesh filled the air, acrid and sharp, mingling with the oily smoke already thick in the ruined square. The cobblestones beneath us glowed faintly from the residual heat.

“You’ve solved a major problem for me,” I said, my tone flat, almost mechanical. “Yet you’ve ruined my life. Who knows if I’ll ever feel anything again?” My voice faltered to a whisper. “My feelings are half what they were before.” The words trembled, the faint echo of grief buried beneath exhaustion.

“What are you doing, Yen?!” a voice cracked from nearby.

Christopher.

The Trailblazers stumbled into view through the haze behind him, faces pale, eyes wide and unfocused. Gai and Lex followed behind, weapons drawn but hands shaking. Even Gabby appeared, coughing through the smoke, her hair plastered to her face with sweat and ash. She looked terrified. With the excitement settled, a crowd gathered in the broken square. A few of the people zapped by my aura rose blinking and groggy, as if they had awakened from a nightmare. The few buildings that suffered from the fight groaned as flames or structural damage threatened their collapse. 

Someone caught my hand.

Edwin.

He appeared beside me as if drawn from the smoke, his grip firm and grounding. His eyes locked onto mine. Three glowing bands shimmered faintly on each of his fingers. He had them, too.

Behind him, his Primordial soldiers spread out, armor catching what little light filtered through the haze. The four Fey noble maids took formation, too, weapons drawn, their silhouettes like phantoms in the smoke.

“I’ll deal with her,” Edwin said firmly, his voice cutting through the chaos like a blade. His gaze never left Elaine. He looked ashamed.

“Fine.” I tore my hand away and turned, my tone flat. “I’m wasting time anyway.”

The coldness within me deepened. Thought dulled. Emotion drained. But small embers of something still smoldered, refusing to die.

When I saw Nigel, those embers erupted into a flood. My breath caught. My heartbeat thundered in my chest. The air around me quivered with heat and ash, the faint crackle of dying fires blending with the iron scent of blood.

I ran to him.

The world blurred. Each step felt slow and heavy, as though the air itself was resisting me. The broken cobblestones shifted beneath my feet, crunching under the weight of my panic. When I reached him, I fell to my knees, the impact jarring through my bones. I slid forward, gathering his head into my lap. His skin was cool. His eyes, glassy. His chest didn’t rise.

He didn’t move.

He’d been gone long before my fight with Elaine ended.

I wanted to speak—to say something—but nothing came. The last of my fury guttered out, leaving only silence and a hollow ache. Every sound around me seemed distant, muffled by the weight of loss I couldn’t fully feel.

Barcus landed beside me in a blur, ash spraying from the force. Panic contorted his face as he dropped to his knees. He didn’t shove me away; he only pulled his brother closer, his hands trembling. “No, no, no, no! Wake up!” he shouted, his voice cracking. His wide eyes met mine. “What happened?!”

I flinched but said nothing.

Barcus looked back down, words breaking into sobs. “You were gonna be an uncle,” he whispered, voice shaking. He felt for a pulse, his hand coming away slick with blood. “What about Mom and Dad?” His voice broke, collapsing into a child’s cry.

The weight of his grief crushed what was left of my restraint.

My mind splintered. My heart followed.

Then the world fractured.

In an instant, faster than a blink, I was kneeling in an endless sky.

The air was thin and bright, shimmering like glass. Clouds stretched below me, painted in gold and white, endless and serene. Above, an infinite blue expanded so pure it hurt to look at. My body trembled. Each heartbeat echoed into the silence.

Hovering before me stood a being of impossible beauty. She glowed against the horizon, radiant and sorrowful. Nearly nude, her form was veiled in light that flowed like living silk. Her hair, golden strands of sunlight itself, drifted in slow motion, untouched by gravity. Her skin shimmered like pale fire. Even the air seemed to bend in reverence.

“I’m sorry, Chosen,” the being whispered. Her voice reverberated in my mind and the open sky at once. “Mourn what is lost. But rejoice.” She descended slowly, extending her hand toward me, lowering herself until our eyes met. Her presence was gentle and vast. “Soon, you’ll have the power to prevent these tragedies, should your will overcome the rest.”

I tried to speak, but my voice failed me. The words died in my throat, swallowed by the brilliance surrounding her.

“My name is Proxy,” the divine being said softly, her tone serene yet mournful. “The Gods wish to give you power over the world.” Her eyes were like miniature suns. “Will you take it?”