Chapter 10 - Womanhood (Patreon)

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Master Talbert stood behind me with Alexander, Nigel, and Remi just behind him. 

It had been a few weeks since I’d earned my Divine Treat. We were all at my pond behind the castle, away from observant eyes.

“Remember, light is destruction and darkness is creation,” said Talbert.

“Seems antithetical to basic philosophy, but sure,” I replied. “You’ve said it enough times. I’d have to be a moron not to remember.”

“And yet you keep failing, you little brat.”

“How about you eat a dick and die, old man?”

“Still baffles me every time I see it,” said Alexander, staring at us. He looked at Remi. “Is he like this with you and the other Rangers?”

Remi paled. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Can’t I create anything, technically?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Like weapons?”

“Yes.” Talbert closed his hand, and a black sword appeared in his palm. “You can create weapons.” The sword changed to a spear. “You can change the weapons at will. They’re as strong as steel. If they break, you can make a new one.” He handed the spear to Alexander. “And you can give it to others. Just saps a chunk of energy.”

“Whoa.”

“And you can make armor.” A black film coated his body, then buffeted out, forming dark clothing around him. “But what do you think is the downside?”

“It takes up a lot of energy,” I guessed.

“It takes up a lot of energy,” he affirmed. “Especially when something you create leaves your body. That energy doesn’t recycle back into your body. Even the swords take a chunk of your overall energy until they disappear. How much depends on the user, their body, their training, and other factors. So why do I like the tendrils?”

As Talbert asked the question, a black tendril jutted out of his back at his waist like some sort of tail. It slithered out of his body. It was dark, pointed, and moved like a snake or an octopus leg.

He didn’t bother waiting for my answer.

“It provides another limb in combat. It’s as strong as the weapons you create with ample flexibility. It can help you climb. And it has piercing power. The list goes on.”

“I get it, I get it,” I replied. “I’ll keep practicing. But I can do other stuff, right? Like, I dunno.”

The thought came into my head that claws would be a good idea. Sure enough, with only a few seconds of struggling, black energy coated both my hands. They were bigger, and where my fingernails would be, there were giant, piercing nails.

“Exactly. Think creatively,” affirmed Talbert.

“Sweet.” I let the energy subside. “Easy enough.”

“It is, but it takes practice. Coming up with creations and using them effectively are two different things. Find a core group of forms you like that assist what you’re already good at, and practice with them.”

“Got it.”

“Now, light powers. What have you learned?” Talbert asked.

“I have the cloak.” Answering, my bones glowed white beneath my skin, bright enough to be seen. “It makes me stronger and more resilient.”

To prove that point, I walked up to the nearest tree, steadied my breath, and punched it.

I took a chunk out.

The tree began to fall.

I stepped back and released my cloak, holding up my arm. My flesh, rather than my bones, clouded white with power from the tips of my fingers to my elbows.

“I can release the energy in a contained blast.”

Before the tree could hit the ground, I shot the bark right in the middle.

The tree blew in half, sent splinters flying, and fell to the ground with a large creak.

“And I can flow it into things I’m holding to make them stronger.”

I had a dulled practice sword at my hip. I grabbed it and held it out in front of me.

Instead of containing the power inside me or firing it, I visualized the power “warming” the blade.

Instantly, the sharp part of the sword glowed white.

I stepped forward to another tree. In no world did I have the power to slice a tree clean across, nor did the blade have the power to do so no matter how hard I swung.

But things were different when I used my light powers.

I swung through the bark.

The blade slashed through like butter.

The second tree fell to the ground slowly, as if it were surprised it got cut at all.

I turned back to my group, sheathing my sword, as it slammed into the ground.

“But,” I said, stumbling, “it’s all very exhausting.”

I fell to the ground.

“See?”

“Weak,” Talbert said, frowning. “Alexander, throw her in the water.”

“Wh-What?” Alexander was baffled. He took a step back and raised his hands defensively.

“That’s an order!”

“Yes, sir!”

The next second, I was thrown into the air, a dead expression on my face, as I hit the pond fully clothed with a splash.

I’m gonna kill him.

I surfaced choking and spitting out water. My gaze ripped in Talbert’s direction. “Asshole!”

“We’re done for today. Keep practicing. I’ll check up on you in a month or two.” Talbert didn’t look at me. He just started walking away. Before he left, though, he stopped by Remi. “Make sure she doesn’t overdo things. And don’t get caught.”

Remi nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“Atta girl.” He patted her shoulder and walked away, waving to us.

“Hey, I’m gonna stab you someday!” I shouted after him.

“You don’t got the nerve!” he barked before disappearing into the forest.

“Got you there,” said Remi. “You couldn’t hurt a fly.”

She helped me out of the water.

“Please, I hurt people every day.”

“That’s practice,” she disputed. “I’m talking real life.”

It was true. I had a peace-over-war mentality. But I felt that most people who knew how to kill others were like that. They knew the responsibility that came with being able to take someone’s life, so they were cognizant of not doing that.

“It’s time to head back to the castle,” Nigel said.

“We’ve got to start getting ready for a party.” Remi lifted my arms above my head and shook me side to side. “Yaaaay!”

“Yaaaaay,” I lulled back at her.

•

“Do I really need to go all out like this?” I complained as Sonya, two other maids, and the baroness fluttered around me, dressing me.

“Arthur Forbank owns the largest planation in the region. He pays a significant amount of taxes, and his businesses employ large swaths of the region, from trade to transportation, culinary arts, and tourism,” the baroness replied. “So yes, you have to look your best, and yes, you have to go. This is a family event. All of us need to be there.”

“Okay, fine. With that background information, I really don’t have a problem with all this,” I muttered. “Didn’t know that stuff.”

The baroness was clearly surprised by my response. She raised her eyebrows at me, impressed.

“What else?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“What’s the other reason I’m going?”

The baroness sighed. “His firstborn son is a year older than you. His father wants you two to make an introduction.”

“Ah, so you’re packaging me up and selling me off.” I looked at my dress. It was black, strapless, and short. “Go figure.”

“Scarlet!”

“All those years as a family, only to get whored out for tax money. Now that’s love. I might cry.”

“You don’t have to marry him. Just talk to him. Entertain him,” the baroness said. She rolled her eyes at me. She was beyond tired of and very used to my sarcasm. “Have fun. Flirt.”

“Ah, so get his hopes up.”

“Maybe do more.”

“Mom!”

“I’m sorry! You’re boring! Live a little,” she said. “I don’t want you to die alone. Does that make me a bad mother, that maybe someday I’d want grandkids?”

“I just turned sixteen!”

“And I was nineteen when I had you! You think your father and I met one day, and I was pregnant the next? Relationships take time!”

“Ew, gross. No.” I looked up at the ceiling. “Now I’ve got to think about my parents’ sex life.”

The baroness slapped the back of my calf. “Enough of that!”

“Ow!”

“This is going better than normal,” I heard Sonya whisper to the other maids.

They nodded in agreement.

•

I rode in a carriage with both my parents. They wordlessly scrutinized me as we moved along the outskirts of Water’s Bastion into the countryside. Hopeful Lake was far behind us now.

“What?” I asked.

They hadn’t said anything the whole time, but they just kept staring at me. It was annoying. They needed to just say whatever was on their minds and get it over with.

The baron glanced at his wife. “She knows who we’re going to see?”

“And that she has to talk to his son.” The baroness looked at me. “His name is Porter Forbank.”

“Porter Forbank,” I said, nearly gagging at how douchey the combination of words was. “You’re not serious? Who names their kid Porter with a last name like that? Do they hate him?”

“Get it out of your system,” the baron said. “When we arrive at his estate, you will be icky sweet and kind to everyone you meet.”

“Do I get a reward?”

“Three meals a day and a roof over your head.”

“That’s pretty cool. I’ll take it.”

Threats laid out and a job given to me, our chat was done. We rode the rest of the way in silence.

Or so I wished.

“Do not make vulgar jokes. Do not challenge the boy to a fight. Do not take off your shoes because they hurt your feet,” the baroness said. “And do not chug alcohol. Sip it.”

“Do not sneak off to the kitchens to cook something because you hate what’s been made. Do not sneak into the armory and try using their swords. Do not show off your gifts because you’re bored,” added the baron. “If you want to do something, look around first. If no one else is doing it, don’t do it.”

“And don’t hurt anyone,” finished the baroness.

The baron nodded.

“What if I’m cornered somewhere, alone, and someone tries reaching under my dress?” I threw it out as a thought experiment.

“Depends who it is,” said the baron.

“It does not,” the baroness said curtly, glaring at him. She turned to me. “Don’t put yourself in a situation where that could happen.”

Oh, great advice! No wonder you two couldn’t have any kids before me. The Gods probably thought they’d be better off dead. Holy shit, that’s what you’re telling your only daughter? Gods damn. If that happens, I’m stabbing someone in the dick. Just letting you know! I can make swords appear out of thin air! Nobody’s stopping me! Throw me in jail!

The Forbank Estate was a little way outside Water’s Bastion. Arthur Forbank owned a bunch of farmland, so it made sense he preferred to live out where his major assets were and worked.

In under an hour, we arrived with several other carriages at a massive walled-in compound that took up several acres. It had a large garden with a maze, several different fountains, a small pond for fishing, and even a horse track.

Right across from it was acres of farmland stretching for as far as the eye could see. There were massive windmills dotting the landscape, and several different types of crops, all illuminated by the falling sun.

“Oh wow.” I marveled at it all through the window. “We’re poor, huh?”

“How could we be poor when we have an army?” said the baron with a chuckle. “But yes, the Forbanks do well for themselves. They’re old, established money. And they helped fund the Bastion Rebellions. They’re good people.”

“So be nice to them,” the baroness said.

“I will.” I paused. “I can drink, right?”

It had been a long time since I’d had booze. Not since I’d gotten my gift a few weeks back. All I did was train and read. 

“In moderation,” the baroness allowed. 

“Amazing.”

“Do not chug.”

“I won’t!”

Our carriage stopped behind a line of others. We watched a few people get out normally without an escort, but upon seeing our carriage and the guards we brought with us, the estate’s troops made room for us right at the front entrance.

The carriage stopped there before a long carpet leading into the estate. A man was standing there with a woman, two teenage boys, and a young daughter.

That’s them, I bet.

One of the baron’s knights opened our carriage door. The rest that came with us hung back, circling our vehicle. Remi was among them, already blending into the shadows. 

Like many times before, the baron got out first. He helped the baroness, then he helped me. He was quick with it, too. Because he knew if he didn’t help me out as soon as he was done with his wife, I’d have hopped to the ground by myself.

As a trio, we crossed the carpet into the front of the estate.

“Baron Embers.” The man with his family bowed. “A pleasure to see you again.”

“At ease, Arthur. There’s no need for this. We’ve known each other a long time.”

“It would be rude in front of guests.”

They started chatting. The baroness conversed with Arthur’s wife. I stared lazily into the sky and started counting stars until I felt my shoulder get nudged.

I immediately smiled and placed a hand on my chest. “Pleased to meet you. You have a lovely home.”

Arthur Forbank, owner of the estate, smiled at me. “You humble me. It is a pleasure to have you grace our home. I watched your confirmation as a child. Truly astounding. It’s an honor to have a Chosen Child at our humble abode.”

Really laying the bullshit on thick, huh?

“The pleasure is mine. Your family allows our region to prosper,” I said. “We are grateful for the partnership.”

I saw the baron nod in my peripheral.

Arthur smiled. He gestured to one of his sons. “How rude of me. This is my eldest son, Porter. He’s a year older than you. He just started the trade. I have him working the farms and markets to get some experience.”

Yeah, I’m sure. He looks like the only thing he lifts is teacups to his lips.

Porter was about five-ten or five-eleven with short brown hair and dark blue eyes. He had a square face and a lean body, but didn’t look like he exercised. In fact, looking at his hands, they were soft. Didn’t have a single callus. There was no way he’d done a single second of physical labor. Probably couldn’t use a sword and fight, let alone dig a hole or till land.

“How admirable! You’ll have to tell me about it later.” I smiled, clasped my hands together, and put them by my face.

I could tell both my parents were gawking at me.

You said to be nice! I’m being nice!

“I will have to find you once I am done here,” Porter said.

Please don’t.

“We’ll rejoin you later,” said the baron to Arthur.

Pleasantries and introductions done, he escorted the baroness and me into the event.

•

I did some version of “How do you do?” probably thirty more times in under an hour.

Going to formal events with my family meant that rich people would come up to the baron, schmooze him, call the baroness beautiful, then move on to me. I got some version of “I saw your confirmation” or “You’re so stunning.”

Blah, blah, blah.

On and on that went until enough people had met us that we could mingle with the party like normal people.

Well, I could. The baron and baroness had to be proper the whole time. People kept trying to ask them for stuff, and if I were there, they’d bring up marriage. 

So I slipped away.

I found a table with several untouched glasses of wine as soon as I could. My parents weren’t looking when I did, but they gave me permission to drink. That’s all that mattered.

I plucked a glass by the stem, stuck the opening to my mouth, and drained the whole glass in one quick chug.

“Oh yeah.” I placed the glass down and got a second one. “That’s it.”

Before I could do the same with the second glass, I felt a shiver down my spine. I looked left, and there was the baroness, glaring daggers into me.

I gently sipped the wine.

She nodded.

I nodded back, embarrassed.

“Parents. They just don’t know when to let us have our fun,” said Porter. He walked up beside me, hands in pockets, with a smile on his face.

“How are you doing, good sir?” I smiled and dipped my head ever so slightly. “Enjoying the event?”

“I should be asking you that. I’m a host.”

“I’m having fun.”

“Yes, people who chug wine like that are usually having a grand old time,” he said with a light smile.

All my noble lady pretensions disappeared. “You saw that, huh?”

“Oh, much preferred. These events are boring.” He pointed to a nearby room with a partially closed door. “A group of us have side parties during these. When you’ve done enough of these gatherings, you look for any way to pass the time. Make this thing tolerable. I supplied the entertainment this time.”

“Meaning?”

“Better booze and herbs to smoke.”

I grabbed his hand. “I knew we were going to be good friends!” I then let go and walked that way without a second thought. “Much obliged!”

If I knew they had drugs and alcohol, I’d have been a lot more outgoing. Got a lot of mental shit I need to numb, even if just for the night.

Porter raced to get ahead of me, stopping me before I could go in.

“We should go in together,” he offered. “It’s your first time, and the route to get there is out of the way.”

“Oh, yeah. Sure. Whatever.”

Porter opened the door. It led down a hallway. We zigged and zagged until we found a staircase going down. He opened one final door, and it opened into a massive space just filled with people.

Inside, young, wealthy nobles around my age—men and women—were drinking and chatting. There was an aroma in the air I was very familiar with, having spent plenty of time riding the New York subway.

The Gods are real. Amen.

“Welcome, degenerates. I’ve brought a new member, just for today.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me forward. “Scarlet Embers.”

“Sup,” I said.

There was a chorus of different kinds of “heys.” Some were drunk. Some stoned. Some just tired.

It looked more like a tavern in the room, though a high-end one at that. The place had expensive furniture, art, rugs, and little items on the furniture. At the same time, there were several empty bottles of wine and spirits strewn across the place.

There were some frantic maids cleaning behind everyone, but they could do little to dull the mess. For one, people were getting in their way. And the prettier maids were getting hit on.

I found the nearest unopened bottle of spirit and sprinted toward it.

Most of the room was watching me.

I grabbed the bottle, broke the top against a corner, and tipped it to my lips. The liquor was bitter, but not even close to the alcohol content I wanted or was used to in my last life.

So I drained the entire bottle.

And threw it to the ground, satisfied.

Then reached for my second.

“Now it’s a fucking party!” someone shouted.

I’d breathed new life into the room.

It erupted into cheers, which I joined eagerly.

•

“I can’t feel anything,” I muttered, sitting in the middle of a couch in the room.

I was squeezed between four other people. A random girl and guy were sitting to my right. Well, he was sitting. She was sitting on him, and they were making out pretty heavily. To my left, Porter was trying to get my attention. All the while, a different girl who’d followed him around the whole night was passed out and leaning against his shoulder.

“I drank two bottles of wine, three spirits, and sucked in at least a dozen puffs of this shit,” I muttered, staring at what was basically a hookah on the table. “I swear to Gods, I don’t feel a damn thing. What the hell?”

I wracked my brain trying to come up with an explanation.

I don’t have a stupid high tolerance. This is a fresh body, and I haven’t been able to drink nearly as much as I wanted. What changed? What happened?

Then, it hit me.

Did the Divine Treat get rid of my ability to get drunk or high?!

“Hey, should we maybe go somewhere else?” Porter slurred. He rested his head on my shoulder. “Let’s go to my room.”

“Hush.” I pushed him away from me into the couch. “I’m having a shitty realization I need to process.”

“What?”

I ignored him.

I know gifts have an innate healing factor. Your powers diminish the more hurt you are because gifts prioritize healing. Works with poisons and sickness. That’s basically alcohol, right? Isn’t it?

Porter leaned his head against my back and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Are we friends now? My dad *hiccup* said we needed to be friends.”

“Yup. Good friends.”

“That’s great! Can we go to bed now?”

“No.” I peeled his arms off me, turned around, and tapped his forehead. I used a single finger to push him into the couch. “Sleep here for a second, and we’ll go to bed later, okay?”

“Okay!”

He promptly passed out.

I was probably the only conscious person left in the room. Besides the couple beside me and a few others who found some scattered rooms nearby to have fun in. They were all very much awake.

Sighing, I got up and walked toward the door I came in from. “I can go home now, right? It’s probably been long enough. What’s the point of even being here anymore if I can’t get trashed?”

As soon as I got outside, Remi was waiting for me.

“Whoa. No warning.” I cocked my head to the side, confused. “What are you doing?”

“Guarding you.”

“Why?”

“Because I was told to before your parents left.”

My expression deadened. “What do you mean before they left?”

“They left.”

“You said that. Where did they go? Are they on a balcony somewhere? Checking out the farm? What?”

“Back to Castle Grey.”

My eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“Because they didn’t want to disrupt your socializing,” she said. “The Forbanks’s servants reported you were having fun, and they made the decision to allow you the reprieve.”

I gawked. “They did not just leave their only daughter in a house full of degenerate strangers all by herself without telling her.”

“Apparently, these gatherings are known to the adults.” She gestured to the room behind me. “It allows the young lords and ladies to blow off steam and foster relationships,” she explained. “And these are not strangers. They are your parents’ vassals. Your safety is guaranteed, should they like their heads to remain on their shoulders.” She smiled cutely. “Besides, I’m here. You’re safe. Not that you even need me.”

“Gods, this is weird. I could be drunk doing it with three guys all night and getting pregnant.” I waved my hands dramatically, clearly emphasizing the absurdity. “Do they not understand that?”

“There’s not a person alive who knows you who’d think you’d do that,” Remi said bluntly. 

“Yeah, but someone could have attacked me or something.”

Remi blinked once and kept a steady expression. “You could destroy this entire house by yourself in under thirty minutes if you really put your mind to it.”

I puffed out my cheeks, annoyed. “It’s weird! Why can’t this just be weird?!”

“Fine, fine. It’s weird.”

“Thank you!” Another more important question popped into my mind. “Hey, why can’t I get drunk?”

Remi smiled at me. “No one told you, huh?”

“Told me what?”

“Eaters can’t get drunk. Natural healing factors in our bodies. You’d have to drink enough to kill three people just to feel a buzz.”

“No!”

Remi nodded. “That’s usually why cadets go out drinking the night before selection day. It’ll be the last time most of us ever get drunk.”

I dipped my head back and stared at the ceiling. “You gotta be shitting me.”

“Afraid not.”

“Can you take me home?”

“The Forbanks said they would bring people home in the morning in their personal carriages.”

“Hey, where’d you go?!” I heard Porter wake up, mid-snore. “Scarlet?”

“What time is it?” I asked.

“Two in the morning,” Remi replied.

“Bullshit.”

“It is.”

“Well then.” I patted her shoulder, rustling the dark leather armor underneath her clothes. “We’re gonna have a fun walk back.”

Remi’s face deadened. “We are not.”

“We are.”

“We’re not!”

“We are.”

“Please, no.”

Porter walked up behind me and hugged me from behind. “There you are!”

I groaned. “Hey, Porter. Did you nap good?”

“Yeah.” He paused. “Can we go to bed now? You’re very pretty.”

“I know. But sorry. I would, it just… you know… that time of the month and all,” I lied easily and quickly.

Porter didn’t really comprehend what I was saying, though.

“That’s still going to happen monthly, by the way,” noted Remi.

I frowned. “Why?”

“Natural process of the body. Still got to eat and sleep. It’ll hurt a lot less, though.”

“Well, there’s something.”

“Is she joining, too?” Porter slurred, pointing at Remi.

“Yup, she is,” I mocked.

“Wow, that’s great. She’s pretty, too.”

“At least his eyesight’s good,” Remi said.

“Go after her first,” I ordered Porter.

“No, later.” He wrapped his arms tighter around me and put his mouth to my neck. He was more than a head taller than me, so it was easy for him. “I want you. My younger brother’s smarter and harder working than me, but father said if I can marry you, I’ll be his successor.” He rocked me side to side. “Let’s have babies.”

“Okay!” I removed him from behind me, spun around, and started pushing Porter into the room. “Get back on the couch. I’ll give you exactly what you need right now.”

“Really? Cool.”

I pushed him back to where he was sitting before, with Remi following me. He stumbled into the couch and clearly expected me to be there right after.

But I wasn’t.

Instead, I was right behind him and the couch.

I put one arm under his throat. Gripped the hand with my other. Squeezed.

Remi’s mouth dropped as she realized what I was about to do.

At first, Porter was confused. Then he started thrashing. But my grip was too good, so he was out quickly and painlessly.

I pushed him aside into the lap of the girl who actually wanted to be with him. She was still knocked out from before.

“Gods.” Remi rubbed her head. “You really did that.”

“What’s the problem? He’ll wake up in a few minutes. By then, we’ll already be walking.”

I moved past Remi up the stairs.

“Are you really going to make me do this?” complained Remi.

“You don’t have to follow me,” I called back, already walking up the stairs.

“You know I do.”

•

It was sunrise by the time we made it back to Castle Grey.

The guards at the gates were so confused when we walked past them.

“Could have just waited until morning,” Remi said. “It is morning. This was a complete waste of time.”

“Exercise is never a waste,” I chimed proudly.

“Shut up.”

“No, you shut up. I did this whole thing barefoot. The shoes were killing me, and I had to toss them in a bush. You’ve got boots and comfy armor,” I spat. “Get over yourself.”

“You need a nap.”

“I need a drink!”

Remi laughed.

I groaned, still annoyed by that “fun” realization the night before.

I separated silently from Remi and weaved my way through the castle without talking to anyone.

When I made it to my room, I slammed the door open, peeled off the dress, put on something comfy quickly, and collapsed onto the bed.

I got a thirty-minute nap in before the door slammed open again.

“What?” I jerked up in bed.

“You walked back?” said the baroness.

“Huh?” I looked at her. Remi was right behind her, fidgeting.

Ah. Yeah, I guess she’d have to.

“You left me. What else was I supposed to do?” I sat up in the bed with only a hastily thrown-on long shirt covering me.

“Make friends. Find an empty room. Sleep there. Take a carriage back in the morning,” the baroness said.

“Oh. No.” I looked up at the ceiling, thinking, and frowned before looking back at the baroness. “I can’t stomach hanging out with people I don’t care about if I can’t get drunk anymore. Sorry. Probably gonna die alone or something.”

I didn’t really mean it, but that kind of talk always annoyed her.

“No, you are not,” she said calmly instead. “You will be attending more events as they come, including one in two days.”

“Huh?”

“And we have a family from Port Prosper that is bringing their son here. They’re very involved in trade,” continued the baroness. “As you can imagine, it’s important you play nice with them. Just as you did last night with the Forbanks.”

“Hold on!”

“You will participate. You will do your part in helping our family and this region prosper.” She smiled at me. “Enjoy the rest of your day, sweetly! Get some rest.”

She left me alone with Remi.

I stared after her, hand half raised in a pointless attempt to stop her.

“I didn’t tell her you choked out the Forbanks’ son,” said Remi when the baroness was out of earshot.

“Wow. Thanks.” I flopped back in bed. “All my problems are solved.”

I was annoyed, yet I really couldn’t point to why.

I didn’t disagree that I had to help my family. They weren’t necessarily forcing me to act a certain way beyond the scope of “generally proper.” They were far more lenient with how I spent my free time, as long as it was in noble circles. Absurdly so.

But it all seemed to be pointing in a certain direction. Slowly but surely.

And I didn’t like that.

“Going to have to pick it up a notch,” I muttered.

“Do what?”

“I think I need to make them throw me in jail,” I muttered, ignoring Remi.

“Godsdammit,” she whispered.

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