My Life is Horrific Chapter 1 — Fucked with a Capital F (Patreon)

(Just a story that’s been on my mind for a while and that I’ve been doing in my downtime that I thought I’d share with you.)

Synopsis:

I never believed in life after death, though that didn't stop him from being dropped into another world when he died.

A new world means a new chance at living right?

Wrong! This world is a nightmarish reality of nearly every horrific dream that someone managed to dream up. Freddy? Jason? Leatherface? Yeah they're here. Carrie? Yep she's my classmate.

The only thing I have to help me is a strange achievement system that makes no sense and doesn't do a thing to explain things to me.

Well it could be worse... at least Cthulhu isn't real... right?

___________________________________________

I liked to think I was a decent person... sure I wasn't ever gonna win any awards for being the world's greatest guy, but I did some decent stuff along the way. I tossed a bit of cash to charities whenever I could spare it, helped out my mates when they were in a rough spot, held doors for strangers, that kind of thing. Sure, I had my flaws, plenty of them, but I never went around trying to screw people over or hurt anyone on purpose. So when I kicked the bucket at eighteen, it hit me like a truck. I figured the endless partying, the booze flowing like water, the pills and powder I shoved up my nose every weekend, all that shit probably had something to do with it. I was young, though, my body should've bounced back from the abuse, right? Turns out the only thing it made me do was stumble too close to the edge of a cliff one foggy night and take a permanent dive.

Next thing I know, I'm opening my eyes as a screaming newborn, sucking in my first breath in a whole new body. Reincarnation, isekai, whatever you want to call it, that's what happened. I got shoved into someone else's life, some kid born in the early seventies in a quiet little town. At first, everything seemed pretty much the same as my old world, just with crappier tech and bigger hair. No smartphones, no internet, just rotary phones and VHS tapes. But I adapted quick because, honestly, being a baby again meant I didn't have much choice.

Growing up wasn't half bad, actually. I was an only child for most of it, spoiled rotten by parents who genuinely loved me and showed it every day. Mom was always baking cookies or reading me stories, Dad coached my little league teams and taught me how to throw a perfect spiral. I hit the genetic lottery too, tall, fast, strong, coordinated as hell. So I crushed it in sports, football in the fall, basketball in the winter, track in the spring. Made a ton of new friends, partied on the weekends without going completely off the rails this time, dated a few girls, lived the kind of carefree teenage life people write coming-of-age movies about. I was having a blast, feeling like I'd dodged whatever cosmic bullet took me out last time and landed in a second chance that actually felt good.

That all lasted right up until my senior year of high school. I'm sitting in homeroom, staring out the window, daydreaming about the party after Friday's game, when suddenly this blue glowing box pops up in the middle of my vision. I froze at convinced I was having a stroke or an aneurysm or something. But then I remembered how similar it looked to one of those old video games I used to play back in my old life. 

[I hope you've enjoyed your peaceful childhood because now things are going to get real]

[For every survival, every achievement, you will be rewarded]

[Good luck trying to survive...]

[Here's a bonus from me]

[Obtained: The Shining]

The box faded away, but the panic didn't. I gripped the edge of my desk so hard my knuckles went white, I felt the sweat dripping down my back even though the room was pretty cool. The Shining? Like, the psychic shit from the Stephen King book? Telepathy, seeing ghosts, all that creepy shit? Why the hell would I get that as a "bonus"? And then, like someone flipped a switch in my brain, everything was made. Memories from my old life flooded back in crystal clear detail. It was like until this very second my memories had been muted or something, keeping me from realising just how bad of a situation I was in. 

And oh boy was it bad.  

My name was James Mitchell. My dad's name was Arthur Mitchell. And when I thought about it now, I realised that he looked exactly like the Trinity Killer from the Dexter show I'd binged in my first life.

But it got worse. Way worse. I glanced around the classroom, really looked for the first time, and the pieces slammed together. The quiet girl two seats over with blonde hair and downcast eyes, Carrie White. The stunning brunette in the front row, Jennifer Check. That pale girl with the black braids and deadpan stare in the corner, Wednesday Addams. Even Regina George, yeah, the queen bee from Mean Girls, was strutting down the hall outside the door like she owned the place. And the worst part? I'd hooked up with her at a party last month, lost my virginity in the back of her mom's station wagon after too many beers. Okay maybe that wasn't the worst part, but she was a huge bitch and she was currently being clingy as shit. 

And if to make things worse we lived in Derry, Maine. That name should've rung every alarm bell the second I learned it but it just never clicked to me. Derry!!! where kids vanish every twenty-seven years and a clown in the sewers eats their bodies. 

That's not the only thing either my parents had just adopted this sweet little girl a few months ago, and I was seventy percent sure she was actually a full-grown woman. 

It was like the universe had yanked a thick wool blanket off my eyes, and I was finally seeing the world for what it really was. Every familiar face in this town carried something straight out of a nightmare. The friendly neighbors, the teachers, even the damn librarian, they all fit into some horror trope I'd watched or read about in my old life. This wasn't just a normal world with bad luck. This was a full-on horror movie crossover hellscape, and I'd been dropped right in the middle of it.

Fuck.

I sat there staring at the desk, trying to force my breathing to slow down, telling myself over and over that this could not be happening. My dad could not be a serial killer. The guy who made pancakes on Sundays and fixed my bike when the chain slipped off could not be the Trinity Killer. But the memories from my old life kept slamming into me, every detail of that show, every kill he made in his sick ritual. That and his face matched perfectly. 

I needed to get out of the house tonight, pack a bag, steal some cash from his wallet if I had to, just run anywhere that was not Derry. Why the hell was I even here in this fucked up world? What kind of sick joke was reincarnation if it dropped me straight into a slaughterhouse?

My chest started tightening hard, like someone was squeezing it in a fist, and my heart would not stop pounding against my ribs. The room felt too hot all of a sudden, I felt sweat pouring down my sides, and my hands began shaking so bad I had to shove them under my thighs to hide it. I could hear my own breathing getting loud and ragged almost whistling. Everything narrowed to this buzzing in my ears and the blue afterimage of that stupid pop up still floating in my sight.

I stood up fast causing the chair to scrape against the floor. Miss McGarricle who was teaching stopped mid sentence and looked at me causing everyone else to turn. "James? Are you all right?" she asked sounding a little worried.

I opened my mouth to answer, but when I looked over little Miss Prom Massacre was staring right at me with those big doe eyes, and Jennifer had twisted around in her seat with this smile that made my skin crawl even more. Words got stuck somewhere between my brain and my tongue and tangled up completely. All I could do was point weakly at the door while I panted like I had sprinted the whole football field.

The class started whispering, little murmurs building up fast. Someone asked what was wrong with me, someone else laughed.

Wednesday spoke up from the back in that flat voice of hers. "He is having a panic attack."

I forced out this weak laugh that sounded insane even to me. "No... no I am not having... hahaha..." I kept backing toward the door bumping into another desk.

Miss McGarricle looked very concerned at this point. "I think you should go visit the nurse James, is there anyone that can go with him?"

I shook my head hard. "It's fine...it's fine I'll go myself," I stuttered out.

Then I turned and bolted out of the room. The door slammed behind me and I just ran, past lockers and bulletin boards and trophy cases. I kept going until I hit the side exit, shoved the bar, burst outside into the cold air. Even then I didn't stop. I kept sprinting across the parking lot, past the football field, my lungs were burning now but I could not slow down.

My brain would not shut up. 

I could go to Greenland. Nothing bad ever happened in Greenland right? Wait no, The Thing was set there or maybe that was in Antarctica I could not remember and it didnt even matter because everything everywhere had some monster waiting. 

I was so completely fucked.

I did not see the raised curb at the edge of the sidewalk. My toe caught it hard and my body pitched forward my hands too slow to break the fall. Head cracked against the concrete and everything went black.

...

I came to slowly, the world swimming back into focus under harsh fluorescent lights. My head throbbed like someone had taken a hammer to it, and when I reached up, my fingers brushed a swollen lump just above my hairline. For a second I had no idea where I was or what had happened. Though it didn't take long for all of it to come back. 

I let out a long, shaky sigh and closed my eyes again.

Running straight toward Greenland had been a stupid idea, even in the middle of a meltdown. I needed to calm down, breathe, think this through like a rational person instead of a cornered animal. Freaking out wasn't going to fix anything. The rest of the school day was almost over anyway. I could tough it out, go home, lock myself in my room, and start making an actual plan once my brain stopped feeling like mush.

Besides, Dad wasn't likely to hurt me. He'd never laid a hand on me in eighteen years. And the new little sister, whoever or whatever she really was, hadn't done anything creepy yet. I could survive under the same roof if I kept my head down.

"James?"

The soft voice snapped me upright. I looked toward the door.

Casey Becker stood there, clutching a couple of textbooks to her chest, her short blonde hair falling over one ear. In this life she was just Casey from study hall, the quiet girl who sat across the table from me in the library sometimes. I'd always thought she was cute and I dug that shy bookish type of girl.

In my old life however she was the girl from scream who answered the phone and got gutted ninety seconds into the movie.

Shit.

"Hey," she said stepping closer. "Are you okay? I was cutting across the parking lot to my car and I saw you just lying there on the sidewalk. You were totally out. Mr. Harlan helped carry you in here. The nurse got called to the office for something, so it's just been you alone. I stayed to make sure you woke up all right. You hit the ground really hard and I thought maybe you had a concussion or something and I didn't know if I should call an ambulance or—" She was babbling now, words tumbling over each other while her cheeks went pink.

I cut in gently. "Hey, Casey... thank you. Seriously. You didn't have to do that."

Her face went redder and she ducked her head, smiling at the floor. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, suddenly nervous. "I was really worried about you."

"I'm fine," I said, forcing my voice to be calm. "Promise. Don't worry about me."

I stood up, testing my balance. The room swayed for a second but settled. I grabbed my backpack and headed for the door.

Casey frowned. "Shouldn't you wait for the nurse? Just to be safe?"

"It's just a little bump," I told her. "I'll live."

She didn't look convinced, but she didn't push it. Instead she fell into step beside me as we left the office and started down the empty hallway.

"So," she said, glancing sideways, "does this mean we're not going on the trip anymore?"

The trip. Right.

Today was Friday. Tomorrow a bunch of us were headed to Tyler's family lake cabin for the weekend. It was going to be a weekend of bonfires, beer, swimming, the usual senior year escape. I'd invited Casey a couple of weeks ago, mostly because I liked her and, yeah, because I'd figured the setting might finally get me somewhere with her... as in get me inside her. 

Part of me screamed to cancel. I had way bigger problems than a party weekend.

But another part, the part that was sick of panicking, thought getting out of Derry for forty-eight hours might actually be the smartest move I could make right now. Distance. Fresh air. No sewer clowns, no ritual killer dads, no telekinetic prom queens. Just normal teenage stupidity for a couple of days while I got my head straight.

"Yeah," I said, managing a smile that I hoped looked convincing. "We're still going."

Her whole face lit up. "Great."

We reached the junction where our classrooms split. She stopped, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Do you need me to walk you anywhere? Just in case you get dizzy again or something?"

"I'll be okay," I said. I stepped in and gave her a quick hug, feeling her tense in surprise before she hugged back. "Thanks again."

Then I headed off toward homeroom, hoping no one would comment on my crash out. 

...

I walked back into homeroom with my heart still thudding too hard, trying to look casual even though my head felt like it had been used as a football. A few people glanced up when I slipped through the door, but most were already packing bags or whispering about weekend plans. Miss McGarricle gave me a quick once-over, concern flickering across her face, then nodded when I smiled at her. I slid into my seat near the back, dropped my backpack, and stared at the desk like it might give me answers.

Now that the panic had ebbed a little, I could actually think. First thing, the message. It had said that I now have the shining. I was no Stephen King expert, but I knew enough. The Shining wasn't one single power. It changed depending on the person. Carrie had it, and hers turned into telekinesis strong enough to level a building when she snapped. Charlie McGee in Firestarter had Pyrokinesis. John Coffey healed sickness out of people. Even the Losers' Club had a weak version that let them hurt Pennywise and manage to push past his illusions.

So what flavor did I get? If I could figure that out, maybe I could survive.

Speaking of the Losers Club, they were freshmen this year. That put us right on the edge of another cycle. Pennywise woke every twenty-seven years, and if Georgie Denbrough had already gone missing, the clown was already hunting. I made a mental note to check the newspapers or listen for rumors on Monday. If the kid was still around, maybe there was time.

I rubbed my temples. Stop spiraling. One thing at a time. Find out what my Shining does. Stay alive long enough to test it.

"Dude, what the hell was that?" Tyler leaned over from the next row grabbing my arm. He was one of my closest friends on the team, six foot two of pure muscle with a grin that usually meant trouble. "You looked like you saw a ghost and then just bolted. You good, you're not spazzing out like that retard in freshman year are ya?"

I forced a laugh. "Yeah, man. Just spaced out hard. Lost my head for a minute."

He shook his head, still grinning. "You gotta lock that shit down, Mitchell. Tomorrow is gonna be legendary. Sun, beer, the lake, and sex. Lots of sex. Casey's coming because of you, Stacy and Michelle are already fighting over who gets the bunk closest to me, and Lauren swears she's bringing that tequila her cousin smuggled back from Mexico. It's gonna be insane. You miss this weekend and you'll be hearing about it until graduation."

I nodded along making the right sounds but my brain was miles away. 

Prom was still a couple months off, which meant Carrie hadn't been pushed over the edge yet. No pig blood, no massacre. If I could keep an eye on things, maybe steer Chris Hargensen away from her worst ideas, I could stop the whole town from burning. Chris ran in the same circles I did sometimes. I didn't talk to her much, but I saw her at parties, heard the way she talked about people she didn't like. If I paid attention, maybe I could head it off.

Tyler snapped his fingers an inch from my face. "Earth to James. You in there?"

I blinked, turned back to him. "Sorry. Still a little fuzzy."

He grabbed my forearm. "You still coming out after school? We're hitting the diner, then pre-game at my place."

I shook my head. "Not feeling great. Gonna head home, crash early so I'm good for tomorrow."

He looked bummed, shoulders slumping. "Damn. All right, man. Feel better. But you better be ready to rage tomorrow. No excuses."

I gave him a fist bump. "Promise."

The rest of the period passed quietly. Miss McGarricle droned on about college applications while I pretended to take notes and actually scribbled a list in the margin: figure out power, check on Georgie, watch Chris, stay alive. When the bell finally rang I grabbed my stuff fast and joined the flow of bodies heading for the exit.

I almost made it.

Regina George stepped directly into my path just outside the classroom door, blocking the hallway like she owned it. Blonde hair perfect, uniform skirt rolled just enough to make the dress code, her arms crossed under her chest in a way that pushed everything up. A couple of her usual satellites hovered behind her, but she waved them off with a flick of her fingers and they scattered.

"You," she said in a very displeased tone, "are coming with me. Right now."

Damn despite looking pissed, she really was beautiful. But she was really high maintenance and a huge bitch and when we banged we'd both been pretty drunk so while I hadn't exactly ghosted her, I hadn't chased her either. Apparently that had been the wrong move.

"Regina, I'm really not—"

"Save it." She stepped closer, close enough that I could smell her perfume. "I already went to the front office and had them phone your house. Told your mom you're helping Tyler with a project and won't be home tonight. She said to have fun."

I'd almost forgotten the first rule of High School . Regina got what Regina wanted, always.

I opened my mouth to try another excuse, anything, when I spotted Carrie coming out of the room behind me with her head down, clutching her books like a shield. An idea hit me, a stupid one but maybe just crazy enough to work.

"Sorry," I told Regina, cutting her off mid-breath. "Can't. I'm being tutored today."

I didn't wait for the explosion. I turned and jogged the few steps to Carrie, calling out, "Hey, Carrie! Wait up!"

She froze, her big eyes going wide behind her bangs. I reached out and lightly touched her arm to stop her. The instant my fingers made contact, something slammed through me. It felt like grabbing a live wire, a  electric jolt that raced up my arm and burst behind my eyes. For a split second everything went bright white. I yanked my hand back.

Carrie continued to stare at me, it seemed she didn't feel what I felt.

I forced a smile, rubbing my hand as it still stung a bit. "Hey. Sorry to grab you like that. Could you do me a huge favor? Just play along for like five minutes and walk to the library with me? I'll explain when we get there but I'd really appreciate it."

She looked around, clearly having no idea what was happening or why the school's golden boy quarterback was suddenly talking to her. Her mouth opened, closed, opened again. Finally she gave the tiniest nod. 

"Great!"

I gently steered her down the hall by the elbow this time, careful not to touch her skin again. We turned the corner toward the library before I risked a glance back.

Regina hadn't moved. She stood exactly where I'd left her, her arms folded tight and her lips pressed into a thin white line. Her eyes were locked on us with what can only be described as pure fury. Seriously, If looks could kill, I'd already be on the floor with my throat slit. One of the girls beside her whispered something, and Regina snapped at her without breaking her stare. Then she spun on her heel and stalked the other direction.

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

Carrie walked beside me in total silence, clutching her books tighter with every step. I could feel her nervousness radiating off her. Part of me felt like absolute garbage for dragging her into my mess, but the rest of me was just glad to be out of Regina's immediate blast radius. Plus this gave me a chance to assess Carries mental state and how likely she was to telekinetically break every bone in my body. 

I was confident she was on maybe a 3/10 when it came to that which was good news. 

We reached the library doors and I stopped and turned to her. "Thanks," I said quietly. "Seriously. You just saved me from a very bad afternoon."

She blinked up at me, still wary. "Why..."

I leaned against the nearest shelf of dusty encyclopedias and let out a tired breath. "Because Regina George was about to drag me into whatever dramatic scene she had planned, and I really didn't have the energy for a full meltdown today. I saw you walking out and figured claiming a study session was the fastest escape route. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pulled you into my mess like that."

Carrie shifted her weight her eyes flicking toward the exit. "It's... it's fine," she mumbled. "I should go anyway. My Mom wants me home right after school."

I nodded quickly. "Yeah, of course. Go. I didn't mean to keep you."

She gave the tiniest nod, then slipped past me toward the doors. Just before disappearing into the hallway she paused and glanced back. "It was... nice meeting you."

Then she was gone.

I stood there alone among the books and let out a long sigh as I remembered another detail about Carrie. I had completely forgotten how batshit insane Margaret White was. Religious fanatic didn't even cover it. The woman saw sin in everything, especially men. School was the main pressure cooker that finally made Carrie snap, but that house was the real furnace. If Carrie had even one stable adult in her life, someone to counterbalance the constant bullying, maybe prom night wouldn't have ended in a disaster.

But how the hell was I supposed to get involved in her home life? Margaret hated men on principle. If I showed up on their doorstep offering friendship or concern, there was a solid chance she would try to exorcise me with a kitchen knife.

What to do, what to do.

"You're in my way."

I yelped in a slightly high pitched but not girlish way, and spun around.

Wednesday Addams stood there with her arms full of thick books on toxicology and what looked like medieval torture contraptions. Her face was a perfect blank mask showing no emotion whatsoever, she was pretty unnerving. 

She stared up at me without blinking.

I clutched my chest, trying to slow my heart back down. "Jesus, Wednesday. Hi. Hey. Umm. How's it going? Good? Great. I didn't see you there." I was stuttering like an idiot and I knew it.

She did not blink. "You are still in my way."

"Right. Sorry." I stepped sideways, pressing my back against the shelf to give her a wide berth.

She moved past me without another word. As her shoulder brushed mine, even through layers of clothing, the same electric jolt snapped through me, like I was touching a live wire again. A flash of something exploded behind my eyes and I got a glimpse of something that I couldn't quite see. I stood frozen until the sensation faded, watching her walk deeper into the aisle without looking back.

That was it. I had officially reached my limit.

I grabbed my backpack, slung it over one shoulder, and headed straight for the nearest exit. The final bell hadn't rung yet, but I didn't care. I slipped through a side door near the gym, cut across the faculty parking lot, and started the long walk home. The cold Maine air felt good on my face, cold enough to keep the panic at bay. Derry looked almost normal in the late afternoon light; kids on bikes, dogs barking behind fences, the distant rumble of trucks on the main road.

Almost normal.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and kept walking, trying not to think about how many of those quiet houses probably hid something awful behind the curtains.

One disaster at a time. For now get home. Lock the door.

(AN: I read a story a while back about a mash up of different horrors and I thought it was a good idea. I'm a big fan of horror and I've always wanted to write about them in fanfic but they're too niche to do them alone. At least this way I can do my favourite horror films and make it interesting. Anyway hope you enjoy it.)